Pretend

by Charlene Antrobus

  "I don't know but what she said actually made a lot of sense you know."

  "Well I’ve got to hear this."

  "She explained that when Kyle broke up with her that he said it had been because he was still in love with me," I said.

  "Oh burn," Crystal replied with a smirk on her face.

  "I guess she knows how you feel now," she added.

  "Yeah that's what she said and the actual reason why she apologised. She said that she finally understood what she had done," I said in a sad tone as the memories of feeling like that came back.

  "Yeah, well that's how the saying goes," Crystal said.

  "Huh?"

  "What goes around, comes around."

  "Oh yeah," I replied.

  "You don't sound too happy?"

  "Well I sort of felt sorry for her I guess and I know that it can't have been easy for someone like Rachel to apologise," I said.

  "Yeah I suppose you're right."

  "Well, I did invite her to the party on-"

  "You what?"

  "Oh come on Crystal, I was trying to be nice."

  "Yeah as always, the girl took your boyfriend, remember?"

  "Yeah I know but she apologised and I've moved on now," I said before even registering the last part of my sentence.

  "You have?"

  "Yeah, I have. I'm through with Kyle now, I just want to be his friend, although I don't think that he's going to speak to me right now," I said, sadly.

  "Why?"

  I took a deep breath as I remembered that I hadn't told Crystal about the baby before and for some reason I could feel tears start to fill up in my eyes just at the thought of it.

  "April, are you ok?" She asked in a worried voice.

  "Yeah, sorry I'm just..." I said as I drifted off, trying to work out how to tell my best friend something that she should already know.

  "April?" She said in a soft tone. I hadn't even noticed the tears that had started to roll down my cheeks until I tasted the salty taste that hit my lips.

  "I'm sorry Crystal I wish that I had told you before but I couldn't," I said as I tried to find the words. It didn't matter how many times I would tell this story, it would always hurt.

  "It's ok, don't cry," she replied in the softest voice.

  "When Kyle broke up with me I was pregnant."

  "What?" She gasped in shock.

  "I didn't tell anyone, I wanted him to be the first to know but the day that I went to tell him I found out about Rachel and he broke up with me," I said quietly.

  "What a jerk," she whispered.

  "I wanted to tell you but I just couldn't find the words," I said.

  "It's ok. So, what happened, I mean with the baby?"

  "I lost it. I just started bleeding one day, I didn't know what to do and after Bob found me, him and my mom drove me to the hospital...I guess it was too late," I said as I suddenly realised that Crystal was crying.

  "I should have been there," she whispered as the tears strolled down her cheeks.

  "I'm sorry."

  "You don't have to be sorry April, I should have known but instead I just pressured you into getting over Kyle and I didn't even think for a minute what you were going through-"

  "You couldn't have known Crystal, please don't do what Kyle did and blame yourself. I chose to deal with it alone, that wasn't your fault," I said as I stared at her.

  "So, you only just told Kyle?" She said in a gentle tone.

  "Yeah, he was heartbroken, I felt horrible. He hasn't been to school or anything since," I said as I thought about how bad he looked after I ran out of his house that night.

  "I know that I always say that he is a jerk, but I wouldn't wish that on anyone," she said.

  "I know, I remember how that felt and I didn't want that for him but I couldn't lie to him either and then when his mom came and seen us both crying I just ran away like I always do. I was scared."

  "I can imagine."

  I was going to tell Crystal everything, about running into Jake that night and Aiden but looking at her sad face right now I knew that this wasn't the time. We may have our ups and downs but I knew that when I hurt she did and the very idea of me losing a baby that would have definitely been her God child would be ripping her apart right now.

  "Come on," I said as I stood up and extended my hand towards her.

  "We really do need this party tonight, don't we?" She said as she took my hand, stood up and gave me a small smile.

  "Yeah, I think we do," I said as I smiled at her.

  * * *

  Crystal and I spent the journey home holding hands in silence. Anybody watching would have probably thought we were some weird, depressive couple but none of us cared, it was as though a barrier had been broken down and that silence was us understanding each others’ need to think.

  "Hey," Aiden said as he looked at me strangely as we walked through the door.

  "I'm just going to go up and get ready to go to Cameron's," Crystal said in a quiet voice as she walked up the stairs.

  "Ok," I said as I walked into the living room and slumped down on the chair.

  "What happened? Did you tell her?" Aiden said as he followed me inside, closing the door behind him. I shook my head to say no.

  "Then what's the matter with you both?" He asked in a worried tone.

  "I told her about the baby," I replied as I watched him take a seat next to me, gently.

  "She take it badly?"

  "She cried. I felt awful. I couldn't tell her anything else," I said as the tears began to surface again as I thought about my friend’s pain.

  "It's ok," he said as he gently wiped the tear off of my cheek with his thumb.

  "Do you want something to eat?" He asked.

  I nodded my head to say yes before watching him exit the living room and head towards the kitchen.

  * * *

  "April," Aiden whispered as he gently shook me awake.

  "How long have I been sleeping?" I asked as my eyes focused and I realised that I was still in the living room.

  "Come on, we're going out," he said.

  "Huh? I thought that you went to do some food?" I asked in a confused tone.

  "No, I asked if you wanted something to eat, I went to get ready. I'm taking you out, come on," he said as he smiled at me.

  "Where's Crystal?" I asked.

  "Cameron came and got her about ten minutes ago. She's ok, I had a talk with her, she left in a pretty good mood actually," he said as I finally stood up.

  "Ok good. Where are we going?" I asked as I walked towards the living room door.

  "Somewhere that you'll like," he said with a smirk on his face.

  "Oh, really?" I said as I let a smile slip onto my face.

  "Yeah and somewhere that I can do a lot of this," he said before kissing me so passionately that I nearly lost my balance. In fact had it not been for his hand around my waist, I probably would have lost my balance completely.

  "Thanks," I said as he gently pulled away.

  "For what?" He whispered.

  "Always making me feel better," I replied as I smiled at him.

  "It's my job beautiful now come on we need to get back with enough time for you to get ready," he said with a smirk on his face.

  "Me?"

  "Yeah, you girls take forever," he said as I raised my eyebrow at him before we both began laughing.

  "So, what are you going to do about telling Crystal?" Aiden asked as he started to drive the car.

  "I'm still going to tell her today, I can't hide it from her anymore, today proved that I shouldn't do that," I replied.

  "You know that she's going to the party with Cameron, she's not coming back home?" He asked.

  "Yeah, I'll pull her up to one of the many rooms in Murphy's mansion sometime tonight. I've got to tell her though. I can't hide it from her anymore."

  "I agree," he said.

  * * *

  It wasn't long before Aiden had finally brought the car to a stop after ab
out ten minutes of driving.

  "Where are we?" I asked as I looked out of the window at an unfamiliar location.

  "It's my music school," he said as he jumped out of the car.

  "Really?" I asked in shock. He didn't even like telling anyone that he played music let alone bringing me here.

  "Yeah really, come on," he said as he began to laugh. He locked his car door, took my hand in his and headed towards the large grey building. It wasn't how I'd imagined it at all in fact it was beautiful. There was a large wooden door entrance, huge glass windows and the widest steps that led up to the largest door that I had ever seen in my life.

  "It's beautiful," I said as I looked up, excitedly.

  "Yeah, it's really something isn't it?"

  "Yeah."

  "Hey Sandy," Aiden said as he approached a silver desk with a white haired man sat behind it. This place just got better and better. The black, marble flooring decorated what appeared to be the whole of the foyer area. All the fixtures and lighting where a beautiful polished stainless steel just like the desk that Sandy was sat behind.

  "Hello son," he said as the most genuine smile slipped onto his face.

  "And who's this beautiful young lady?" He asked as my cheeks began to heat up from his compliment.

  "This is my girlfriend, April. April this is Sandy," he said in a very happy tone.

  Even though I knew that I was his girlfriend I wasn't yet used to hearing it and it sounded, well...Great.

  "Well, hello there April it's a pleasure to meet you," he said as he stood up and offered me his hand.

  "Hello," I said as I extended my hand to his. I was a little surprised as he lifted my hand and placed a gentle kiss on it. I see this is where Aiden was taking his notes on being a gentleman from. I smiled, shyly before watching him sit back down.

  "Everyone's just gone through to the buffet, have fun," he said as Aiden started to drag me towards a big wooden door.

  "Thanks Sandy, see you soon," Aiden replied.

  "Bye," I said as I waved at him.

  "Bye and good luck," Sandy added.

  "Thanks," Aiden said before we disappeared through the door.

  As I went to ask why he had said good luck I was cut off as an excited looking woman came rushing over to where we now stood.

  "Oh wonderful, you're here," she said as she threw her arms around Aiden. She was an extremely attractive lady, her shiny brown hair was tied up in a neat bun and she had on a discreet and flattering amount of make-up. She wore a tight black dress with a pair of patent black heels and looked very elegant.

  "April this is Alison, Alison this is my girlfriend, April," he said as he gently pulled himself out of her arms.

  "Oh, she really is as beautiful as you described. It's lovely to finally meet you," she said as she threw her arms around me, much to my surprise.

  "Hi, it's nice to meet you too," I said as she stood back a little so that she could take me in completely.

  "Manners too, she is a definite keeper," she said as she smiled at Aiden.

  "Yeah," he said as he threw me a small smile.

  "I'm glad that you could make it tonight, come on I'll get you a plate," she said as Aiden's attention was taken by a tall guy, with curly red hair. He gave me a look that said 'I'll catch up soon' so I followed Alison towards a table full of food. I would be lying if I said that the thought of this didn't excite me.

  "Now, you help yourself, don't be shy," Alison said as she pushed a plate in my direction.

  "Thank you," I said after retrieving the plate from her hands.

  "So, it's nice to finally meet the girl that seems to make him so happy," she said, gesturing towards Aiden who was now looking over and smiling at us.

  "He said that?" I asked with a smile on my face.

  "He doesn't have to darling, actions speak much louder than words," she said as she winked at me, causing a giggle to escape my mouth.

  "It's quite cute actually, very Romeo and Juliet like, although I would avoid the whole killing yourself in the name of love bit," she said with a smile on her face.

  "Yeah I think we'll skip that bit," I said as I laughed.

  "Well I'm glad that he finally had the guts to tell you how he felt. It's not often that childhood crushes become more than a memory so I would say that it's definitely fate."

  "Childhood?" I asked in a confused tone.

  "Well, yeah, to have feelings for somebody for so many years and to finally win their hearts is an achievement within itself," she said as she looked at me.

  "Oh gosh, you didn't know....Oh my big mouth!" She gasped as she saw the confused look on my face.

  "Aiden has liked me since we were little?" I asked as I tried to contain the excitement.

  "Oh, I thought that you knew otherwise I would have kept my mouth shut, my husband always says that I talk too much, maybe he's right. It's just so romantic."

  "Yeah it is," I said as I felt a silly smile creep onto my face.

  "I guess I can't take it back now since I already opened my big mouth but yes he has liked you for a very long time and talking to you now, I can honestly see why. Just don't tell him that I told you," she said as we both began to smile.

  "Your secret's safe with me," I said as we giggled like a pair of kids.

  "So, are you Aiden's music teacher then?" I asked.

  "Oh gosh no, me and instruments do not get along. I'm Keith's wife, he's Aiden's teacher and the principal of the school. I just work here, you know, help out," she replied.

  "Oh ok, well that makes two of us I was never gifted in the music department," I said as we both smiled.

  * * *

  After about fifteen minutes of eating and mingling with the rest of Aiden's friends from the music school, I finally got a moment alone with Aiden.

  "Having fun?" He said as he smiled at me.

  "Yeah, the people are great, especially Alison, I really like her," I replied.

  "Yeah, she seems to like you too," he said as he smiled at me.

  "So, what is happening here tonig-"

  I was suddenly cut off by a voice coming from an intercom in the corner of the room we were now in.

  "The show begins in ten minutes. Can everyone please make their way to performance hall hd7? Thank you."

  "Show?" I asked Aiden once the voice had stopped speaking.

  "Yeah there's a show tonight, I'm just going to the toilet so go in with Alison and I'll meet you in there,” he said before planting a soft kiss on my lips.

  "Come on sweetheart you can sit with me," Alison said as she began walking in the direction of what I'm guessing was the performance hall.

  * * *

  Ten minutes had passed and the performance was already in full swing. There had already been two singers, a solo saxophone player and now a girl on a keyboard. There was everything there to make a good show except for Aiden. I shifted in my seat a few times to see if I could find him but I was disappointed to discover that I couldn't. I wanted to go and look for him but Alison had said that he may be sitting with a few friends in another section and will catch up with us soon and so I took her word for it even though I wasn’t completely happy that he had practically left me alone.

  One thing that I did notice was how amazing all of the performances had been so far. They were all doing pieces that they had put together themselves and I could only describe what I was hearing as beautiful.

  The sound of clapping snapped me out of my thoughts as the girl on the keyboard bowed and walked towards the curtains at the side. Keith appeared on the stage again as he had each time a new performer was set to come on stage.

  "Ok and next up ladies and gentleman is a talented young man who has been with the music school for a total of six years..."

  I turned around again to see if I could see Aiden, I had to admit that I was a little worried now.

  "When he first arrived he was eleven years old and had no previous experience of music but let me tell you that he soon started playing as
though he were a professional..."

  I know that Alison said that he may be sitting with friends but it wasn't like him to leave me alone.

  "He kept his musical skills quiet and was never one to show off. Four years ago we discovered that he had what I can only describe as the voice of an angel. For the first time he has agreed to actually sing and play in front of a live audience. So without further adieu, ladies and gentleman please put your hands together for..."

  No this is definitely strange, I don't care what Alison says, I need to go and find him...

  "Aiden Daniels."

  Suddenly I froze, I knew that I was standing up but the words that just came out of Keith's mouth could not be real. Aiden was performing tonight, in front of me...

  "Hey lady, will you sit down you're blocking my view," a frustrated voice said from behind me.

  "Sorry," I mumbled as I slowly sat down and kept my eyes fixated on the stage.

  I watched closely as I realised that it really was Aiden who was on the stage as he walked on with a guitar in his hand and sat on a wooden stool that was placed behind a mic.

  "Good evening ladies and gentleman," he said after finally getting comfortable on his stool and placing the guitar in his hands ready to play.

  "Tonight I'm going to be performing a song that I wrote myself. It was inspired by a very special person in my life and it's called Pretend," he said before taking his fingers to the guitar.

  I watched as he gently brushed his fingers against the strings, checking that the guitar was in tune I guess. After a second he was playing what I can only describe as the most heavenly sounding tune. As the sound of the song hit the atmosphere I knew that it was the best thing that I would ever hear until he began to sing that is...

  "Mmm Mmm Mmm Now I know...

  Mmm Mmm Mmm Now I know...

  Mmm Mmm Mmm Now I know...

  I will never let you go...

  I wish I could say the words

  The ones that she deserves

  Explaining how I feel

  It's so crazy, is it real?

  Don't want to waste this time

  Pretending she's not mine

  Pretending she's not mine, ohhhhh...