Zulu Heart

by Steven Barnes

  Sophia winced as Aidan gripped her hand.

  “What else.” It was no longer a question.

  “That is all I know at present. To inquire further would have been foolhardy.”

  Aidan opened his eyes. They looked dry. “I see. I know you, Kai. But I’m still not sure what you want from me. There’s only one possibility I can think of—and that is insane. I’m no pit fighter.”

  Kai leaned forward urgently, fingers locked together tight. “I’ve seen the Caliph’s champion fight,” he said. “He’s strong. Fast. Brutal. Hard to hurt—”

  Aidan groaned. “This just gets better all the time.”

  “But deeply flawed,” Kai said, speech quickening. “I could train you to beat him. I could. Aidan, you’re a natural. Merely watching Malik teach me, you learned more than some of his students.”

  Aidan threw his hands up in frustration. “Kai, I’m a fisherman!”

  Kai bore in mercilessly. “No, Aidan. That’s not all you are. We were together at the mosque. I saw your courage and strength. You were one of the first to volunteer. You were one of the first into battle—”

  “It was the only way to save Sophia!”

  Kai stood. “Did I say you were a mercenary? Or a soldier? No! You are a warrior.” He said the word as if it was a holy thing, and to Kai it was. “I would wager my life that you descend from a line of such men. And if for a few years your people softened enough to allow the Northmen to take you, still that blood runs in your veins.”

  Aidan clenched his fists at the side of his head, trying not to hear. Even worse might be to believe. The fact that Kai’s words mirrored thoughts that he and Donough had but recently expressed made it all the more uncanny.

  “I’m not going to lie and say I have no personal interests. I want to hold this country together. I want it to be free of Egypt—”

  “Free.” Sophia said, breaking in. “An interesting choice of words, Kai. What does that word mean to you?”

  “Yes,” he said, grasping her intent. “Bilalistan is the land where you and yours were enslaved. But a country is not mere grass and rock and hill. It is also the hearts of its people, its dreams of the future. Do you think that there will always be slaves, Aidan? And what kind of men do you think will be able to lead the way to that new destiny? Men like you.”

  “And you, Kai? What of you?” Sophia asked. “Have you freed your slaves?”

  “No,” he said. “It isn’t that simple.”

  “Of course not,” she said bitterly.

  “Sophia,” Kai pled. “Don’t judge me merely by my station in life. Judge also by how far I have come. I am only one man. I need allies, agents, warriors, teachers.”

  For once, Sophia was pitiless. “How could you come here and use Aidan’s sister against him? If you were his friend, you would buy Nessa, and set her free. Isn’t that what a friend would do?”

  Kai nodded. “I made an inquiry. The admiral had already turned down a princely sum for her. If I bid on her, and failed, and then Aidan was able to rescue her, where first would bin Jeffar look? He would seek among my lands and associates, and the fugitive slave laws would strengthen his suit. He would find her again.”

  “So convenient.”

  “No,” Kai said. “Not convenient at all.”

  “You’re not risking your own blood.”

  Kai rose and stood facing the fire, his back to his friends, as if unwilling to let them see the pain in his eyes. “Yes. I am. The Pharaoh has Elenya. If my efforts in behalf of the south, of the Empress, are known, she will suffer.”

  Sophia’s anger drained away. “Elenya? Oh, Kai, I’m sorry.”

  Now Aidan spoke. “Kai … I have heard talk. All words of emancipation come from the north. The south wishes to keep its slaves.”

  “Tell me my husband is wrong,” Sophia asked.

  Kai turned back to them. “I will not lie,” he said. “He is correct. Aidan, you know me, and you know what is in my heart. I can promise only that I am still your friend, and that I have not forgotten the lessons learned at the mosque.

  “But I am also my father’s son, and bound to protect our seat in the Senate. That means that there are things I cannot say publicly. I cannot threaten the very men I need to bind the south into a single sword. Half Djibouti and Wichita’s wealth is in slave property. To lose it all outright would beggar us. It can never happen until the financial burden is lighter.”

  He leaned forward. “But I can do everything in my power to undermine the institution, to see it ended, and secure justice for every soul on this continent. I don’t know what that future society would manifest, but I know my peers would consider me a traitor for even considering this discussion. Beyond that, I can promise nothing.”

  He paused. “So, then. I give you this picture, Nessa’s new name, and the name of her owner. If you have another way of reaching her, then do it, and Allah give you wings. But if you have not, if you will trust me this one final time, I swear that if you can complete this mission for me, I will move heaven and earth to bring you both safely out. I swear further that I will be in your debt, and you may be certain that when you call that marker, I will answer with all my heart.”

  Kai exhaled sharply. “As for the rest, it is in Allah’s gracious hands. Make the choice that rings most true to you. I await your answer.”

  Without another word, Kai bowed and left their home.

  Aidan held Kai’s sketch of Nessa, staring at it. “Look at this,” he whispered. “Realer than any drawing, any painting. These blacks are so clever, so damnably clever. What chance did we ever …” His hand began to tremble, and a single tear rolled down his cheek.

  He stood, stalking back and forth across the room, his face a tortured meld of joy and horror.

  “My husband…?”

  “All these years,” Aidan said. “If I’ve found her after all these years …”

  It remained the single most painful memory of his life. In the clay-tiled expanse of New Djibouti’s slave market, Nessa was pulled away from Aidan and his mother Deirdre. “Aidan! Oh, Aidan, help me!”

  “Nessa!” be cried, desperate to find some words that might, impossibly, lessen the pain. “Listen to me. I’ll find you, I swear!”

  “Do you swear?” She was desperate, very near the point of breaking emotionally. He could feel it, knew that he had to give her something to hold onto, or they would both lose their minds.

  “On our father’s life I swear,” he said, looking into the eyes that were his eyes, the face that was his face.

  And Nessa was hauled away, disappearing into the uncaring crowd. Where once his sister had stood now trod only passersby, on their way to and front whatever unknowable tasks completed and enriched their alien lives, never knowing of the tragedy that had occurred among them.

  And even had they known, they wouldn’t have cared at all.

  Shaking like a dog awakening from a dream, Aidan began to emerge from his trance.

  “What is it?” asked Sophia.

  “I made a promise. All those years ago I made a promise to my sister.”

  “Yes.” Sophia nodded.

  “We were in our mother’s womb together. She was born half an hour before me, so that I was her ‘little brother.’ She always teased me about that.”

  Sophia knew her man better than to interrupt him.

  “Everything was taken from me … everything except my promise. I never lost my dream of finding her. Freeing her. I thought that when I was free I might earn money, could begin the search. But every day that passed made that entire world mistier. I barely remember my father’s smile. My mother’s voice. But I cannot forget Nessa’s face, because it is my own. I cannot forget my promise, because it is the only thing that keeps my parents alive. I swore.”

  Sophia glanced at their child, but it was a brief glance. “Yes, I understand. So. You will do this thing?”

  “No,” he said.

  She shook her head, and stared at him. “No?”
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br />   “No. I cannot.” He seemed utterly miserable. “Sophia, I was but a child when that promise was made. We have been apart almost as long as we were ever together. I know not what accommodations Nessa has made with her life, but I know what mine has become.”

  “What?” she asked.

  “You,” he said. He drew her to him and laid his head against the swelling of her belly. His second child grew in that darkness. Soon it would yowl its way into the light, ready to challenge life. He swore that when it did, he would have done everything in his power to make the new and strange world as welcoming as he could.

  “You, and our children. You need me. In this time, more than ever.”

  “Aidan…,” she said, voice soft with wonder. “I couldn’t ask …”

  “You haven’t,” he said. “You would never ask me to stay. And that is why I do.”

  He held her, and shook softly.

  What a world, Sophia thought, to force men to make choices such as this. And cradling the man that she loved, even as she would one day cradle his child now sleeping within her, clarified and sharpened her mind.

  “Aidan,” she said. “We have a son and he will soon have a brother or sister. What would you have them be to each other?”

  “All goodly things.”

  “And when they marry, what then will they be?”

  “Clan and family, still.”

  “Yes. This place is to be our home, built one precious stone at a time. We cannot build it on the bones of those we love.” She turned his face, and forced him to gaze up at her. “You built this place with your own hands. Your walls, Aidan. And you drew these people together. Your people, Aidan. To protect all of us. And now, you are going to have to trust them.”

  He blinked. “What are you saying?”

  “You have given me your whole heart, but half of your soul remains in bondage. I want our son to know that his father did what was right, not what was expected. If we have a daughter I want her to know her brother would come for her, come what may, and that he would select as a mate a woman who would demand no less of him. Family comes first,” she said. “First.”

  “You are my family,” he protested, beginning to weaken. Or was it strengthen?

  “And so is every man and woman in this crannog,” she said fiercely. “Don’t you understand that? They wouldn’t give you up when it might have cost them their lives. Do you think they will not do all in their power to protect your woman?”

  “But—”

  “No!” she said, and placed her hand on the swelling beneath her breasts. “Go, or don’t go. But by the sweet Lord I love, don’t you dare lay responsibility for it on me, or Mahon, or our unborn child. We both need a man who will do what is right, no matter how hard that thing is. This is the man I married. You tell me if he stands before me now.”

  He stared at her, shaking his head side to side almost unconsciously, and then sighed. “I don’t know. If I do this thing, if I can try this task that has lived in my heart for ten years—”

  “You can only do your best.”

  “What if I fail?”

  “No,” she said. “Don’t look to me for those answers. You tell me: what happens if you fail?”

  He paused, thinking hard. “If I try, truly try, then whether or not I succeed, I can be complete with my past. I can be here with you, and live my life, and raise my children, and make my peace.”

  “Can you?” she asked.

  “Yes.” He sighed deeply. “And all I have to do is embrace that thing I hate most in all the world.”

  “Slavery?”

  He nodded. “Slavery. Yes.”

  “You trust Kai very much, don’t you?” she asked.

  He glanced at her sharply. “You think I shouldn’t?”

  “No,” she said. “I think he is the most honorable man I have ever known. I said hurtful things because I love you, and I do not wish to risk what we have.”

  “Nor do I.”

  She continued. “There’s no helping it, is there? The man I love would keep his promise, no matter the cost. That man would find his sister, and bring her home.”

  “Am I that man?”

  She turned his face, kissed each of his closed eyes gently, tasting his tears, and then his trembling mouth.

  “I’m so afraid,” he said.

  “Yes.”

  Aidan stood, and wiped his face on his sleeve. “After Kai and his men depart,” he said, “we must hold council.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  11 Shawwal A.H. 1294

  (Friday, October 19, 1877)

  When dawn’s sun climbed above the pines, Kai and his men began their southern trek. Despite the fact that he had freely offered all his information about Nessa, his heart was heavy with self-loathing. Whatever Aidan decided, it would be without undue coercion.

  Still, he had opened a door for his oldest friend. Both redemption and death lay behind that portal. But had he really brought all his resources to bear on the question of freeing Nessa? If Aidan’s help had not been required, were there not things he might have done?

  The answer wasn’t clear. Every action carried risks for all. If Nessa had been Elenya, he would have moved heaven and earth to free her. But what were his obligations here?

  In truth, he had no answer to that. But if anything happened to Aidan …

  He knew that not a day would pass, for the rest of his life, that he would not ask himself the terrible question:

  Could I have done more?

  Kai’s black Arabian mare Randa shifted restlessly beneath him, as if eager to be on her way home. “Kebwe has spoken with Constable Oba,” he said. “Oba had already relieved his assistant of duty even before we arrived. One of the vigilantes died, but it seems there was no love lost between him and his wives. He had no children to feud for him, and as it was an illegal party, there is no law to plague you. The townsfolk remain a problem. I recommend that you take your trade west to one of the Nations’ outposts for the next year. An extra half-day’s journey, but it will give the tension time to diminish.” Randa shifted impatiently. “Oba is a good man, but will need support in the Territorial Senate to maintain power. He will get that support,” Kai promised.

  “Thank you,” Aidan said.

  Kai shook his head. “I did little of nothing. You saved yourselves. Look to each other, and be proud. You have made a strong beginning here, Aidan. If my proposal interests you, perhaps together we can take your beginning to the next level.”

  “We will see,” Aidan said quietly.

  Kai paused, looking out into the woods. The wind gently riffled the tree-tops. Kai sighed. “Whatever your decision, you are my friend. Make the choice that is true to you, Aidan. Send word to me.” He handed Aidan a leather pouch. “Here is gold to pay the heliograph operators, and a letter carrying my seal. No one will molest you on the road, or deny you services while you are about my business.”

  “If I answer within the month?” Aidan asked.

  “That will suffice. Blessings unto you and yours.” His eyes met Sophia’s. “You are a wealthy man, Aidan.”

  Then he wheeled the magnificent Randa about. “Homeward!”

  The torches burned over the earthen-floored longhouse as the conclave of elders began its session.

  Three gray-haired women sat at the head table, along with Sophia and some of the older men. Not all of them were Irish: two were Germans, and one was Greek, but by agreement of all they conducted this meeting in the way of Aidan’s people.

  Aidan stood before them and spoke. “Because this matter affects this entire community, I have decided that it should be a matter for council. Grandmothers, may your wisdom lead us to the light.”

  “So mote it be,” they chanted.

  The second toothless old woman leaned forward. “What be the matter at hand?” She and several of the other elders had won their freedom after long decades of service, after their health and useful years were gone. Then they had the choice of being supported by th
e other slaves and tilling a little patch of ground for vegetables—or taking their chances with one of the freedman settlements springing up around Bilalistan.

  Aidan cleared his throat. “I’ve been offered a chance to rescue my sister from bondage.”

  This revelation triggered a collective intake of breath. “Blessed be …”

  “Hold!” said Sophia. “It is not so simple.”

  “Life rarely is.” The other crones nodded toothlessly.

  “In order to do it,” said Aidan, “I must perform a boon for our friend, Kai.”

  The grandmother spat on the packed earth floor. “No shadows a friend o’ mine.”

  Another agreed. “Bore five bairn for sech as he. Dusky issue gone fore’er, with barely a dream of me teat to warm ’em. No good can come of this, sez I. I sez he’s lyin’ to ye.”

  “I saw a light-painting,” Aidan replied. “The face was my sister’s. No one could tell me different.”

  “Kai may be many things,” Sophia said in a cool, flat voice. “But he is no liar.”

  “They’s all liars. Every one—”

  The second grandmother spoke sharply. “Hush, an’ let the boy speak his mind.”

  Aidan sighed. “I would have to fight the Caliph’s champion.”

  That caught their attention. “What sez ye?” the older woman said, incredulous. “I seen these pit fighters, and they’d tear the pretty right oot yer face. It’s madness ye speak.”

  “Not madness,” he replied. “Kai is a dazzling fighter, from a great warrior house. He knows that world. If he says he can train me to beat this man, he speaks truth.”

  She snorted. “Does he promise to return ye with all yer dangles in order? Ye be a married man, with fleshly obligations.”

  “And I am his wife,” said Sophia, “and I tell you that I abstain from this vote. Whatever the council decides will have my blessings.”

  “How long would ye be gone, Aidan?” said the grandmother.

  “I don’t know. Months. Perhaps a year.”

  The grandmothers grumbled amongst themselves. “This is the sister separated from ye when ye first landed on this accursed soil?”