The Girl Who Stole A Planet (Amy Armstrong Book 1)

by Stephen Colegrove

  “Please leave,” he said, his jaw clenched. “I’ll die before I go to prison.”

  The boys barreled out of the room. Philip slammed the door behind them and pulled a heavy cabinet across it to block the door from opening.

  “Talk about dramatic tension,” Amy said. “Where in the name of tube socks did you get a gun?”

  “This thing?” Philip held up the revolver. “I borrowed it from Mark in London. He was very sympathetic after hearing about the troubles we had in the East End. I never intended to use it, especially against myself.”

  Amy coughed. “I guess it’s pretty obvious that we’re in the wrong dimension. Sorry about that.”

  Philip sat on the bed next to her. “No great loss. I’m more worried about your condition.”

  “It’s weird; I’m usually fine after getting buried under a bone-crushing pile of rocks, but not this time.”

  Philip smiled. “I’m glad to see you’ve still got that beautiful sense of humor. You’re going to need it when I have to move you.”

  “No bueno. That Scottish grandpa said I have to stay in bed for a week.”

  “I know, but I don’t think I’ll be able to hold off the constable and an army of farmers with only five rounds in the revolver.” Philip stared at Amy and said nothing for a long moment. “Miss Armstrong … the state you were in after I dug you from the rocks … all the blood and dust … I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t lived.”

  Amy laughed and immediately winced in pain. “The jury’s still out on that, Phil, but I promise I won’t become a ghost and haunt you. And … you can call me Amy now.”

  Philip touched her hand. “Are you sure? Do you know what that means?”

  Amy nodded and looked into his eyes. “Yes, I do.”

  “Are they going to kiss now?” Betsy whispered from beneath the bed. “I want to see humans kiss.”

  “You idiot,” hissed Sunflower. “They’ve heard you already. Why do you always have to ruin everything?”

  The bed shivered as the two animals squeezed from beneath it and jumped up to Amy’s quilt.

  “I’m only being polite, because I know you two humans don’t have a clue,” said Sunflower. “But what’s the plan now?”

  “Marriage!” barked Betsy.

  “I hardly think so,” said Philip. “That joke is getting a bit old, if you ask me.”

  Sunflower blinked. “Nobody did.”

  “How are you still alive after that monstrous explosion? From your … you know.”

  “I don’t have time to answer questions like that,” said the orange tabby. “It involves physics, molecular nanoscience, and other quiz-show topics that your monkey brain couldn’t understand.”

  “Back to the real world,” murmured Amy.

  “Exactly,” said Sunflower. “In the real world, your girlfriend here––”

  “I’m NOT his girlfriend!”

  Sunflower blinked. “My apologies. Your ‘special’ friend here can’t be moved. I know enough of human biology to agree with that ignorant tribal doctor. She won’t survive rapid movement, especially not the kind we’ll need to flee this place. Any jarring and several bones in her chest will enter her lungs and stop the breathing.”

  “I don’t believe it,” said Amy. “You don’t know human biology. You can’t even tell when I’m sleeping!”

  “Maybe not, but I can tell not sick from bad sick, and you’re bad sick.”

  “What are we supposed to do, then?”

  Betsy wagged his brown and white tail. “Back to the future!”

  Amy groaned. “Why did you have to say that? That’s so corny. Of all the things you could have said, that’s the worst.”

  “What? What did I say?”

  Philip shook his head. “You’re suggesting that we leap from the frying pan into the fire. By traveling to this dimension and destroying the inspector, we’ve escaped the Lady. We’d be trading one execution for another.”

  “Possibly,” said Sunflower. “It’s a bad idea.”

  “It’s not,” barked Betsy. “The Lady won’t hurt us. She wants us back home, safe and sound!”

  Sunflower blinked at the terrier. “How do you know that, dog?”

  “I just do,” said Betsy, glancing around frantically. “Trust me! I vote we go back.”

  “This isn’t a democracy,” said the cat. “But in case it is, I vote we stay. With enough cheese I can blow this whole joint sky-high.”

  Philip raised a hand. “Let’s keep a lid on the cheese for now.” He looked down at Amy. “I trust your opinion, Amy. What do you think? Risk our lives here, or a thousand years in the future?”

  Amy frowned. “This isn’t my time, Phil. It’s not even yours. We’re not supposed to be a part of this dimension.”

  Philip nodded. “That settles it––we’re going back.”

  Betsy tried to chase his tail and succeeded in falling off the bed. “Hooray!”

  “Fine,” said Sunflower. “Don’t blame me when the Lady banishes all four of us to a dimension of ice and snow and we have to work in a hot fish shop. FOREVER.”

  “It’s better than having a broken arm,” said Amy.

  Sunflower tilted his furry head. “You’d think so, wouldn’t you? Everyone get on top of the bed. Amy needs to move right. Laughing Boy, you can help with that. Lay down next to her. Betsy, sit next to me. Nobody move, unless you want to lose one or two body parts. In my experience, humans have a problem with that.”

  “Where’s my purse? The embroidered one.”

  Philip reached over to a night stand. “Here it is!” He lay the yellow cloth pouch in Amy’s hands.

  Sunflower shook his head. “Females and their bags.”

  “Quiet, cat, or you’ll find out what’s in it,” said Amy.

  Philip lay on the bed next to her and looked over at Sunflower. “You can teleport us back to the ship by yourself? No engineering or power or anything?”

  “Yes, if the Lady isn’t blocking my Thor ID,” said the cat. “I’m pretty awesome.”

  “I can do it, too!” barked Betsy.

  “Ignore the dog,” said Sunflower. “He only got into operator school because of his dad.”

  The air crackled with lightning and filled with the smell of burnt toast. A sphere of blue energy surrounded the bed and everyone on it, burning an orange line of fire through the walls and floor. The world beyond the blue sphere exploded into a spinning panorama of stars and planets, lavender and oily smoke, and disappeared in a brilliant flash.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Amy woke with her head on Philip’s shoulder, the quilt piled at her feet, and the bed tilted down sharply. On the floor was the edge of a red circle, but the rest of the room was impossibly, brilliantly white.

  Something pinched her arm. Amy yelped and swatted at a silver claw that hung from the ceiling, then stared bewildered at her bandage-covered hand.

  “What? This was broken a second ago.”

  Amy sat up and flexed the fingers of both hands and rotated her elbows and shoulders. She ripped away the bloody cotton and wooden splint around her arm and inspected the pale skin.

  “I don’t even have a scar. The pain went away from my ribs and foot. What’s going on?”

  Sunflower walked lazily around the side of the bed and began cleaning himself.

  “Medical science,” he said. “The transport system detects incoming operators and heals any injuries they’ve sustained while hunting down a prop.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me that before? That’s a pretty important fact for a girl with broken bones.”

  “Because it’s classified. You’re not an operator, so I didn’t know if it would work. Also, it could have moved around some of your important bits. You might want to check that.”

  “Gee, thanks.”

  Philip groaned on the bed next to Amy. “My head …”

  “I know I’m not an operator,” said Amy. “The stupid inspector tried to kill me the first time I c
ame here because I wasn’t an operator. Why did it heal me this time?”

  Sunflower stopped in the midst of licking his paw. “That’s a good question.”

  Betsy scampered up to Philip and licked his face with a long pink tongue. “Wake up!”

  “I’m awake, I’m awake!”

  “Luckily, the Lady also didn’t program the transmat to look for our incoming teleport signal and keep it from materializing,” said Sunflower. “Condemning us to perpetual non-existence. The electronic version of a hot fish shop, if you will.”

  “It’s not luck,” barked Betsy. “She likes us!”

  “Another thing you didn’t tell us about,” said Amy. “For your sake, cat, let’s hope that’s the last surprise we get today.”

  “I doubt it,” said Philip, pointing up at the ceiling.

  Amy followed the line of his finger to the silver spheres and waving metal tentacles of a dozen inspectors overhead.

  The inspectors marched the four dangerous criminals through the shambles of Junktown, clearing the streets with loud warnings from their built-in loudspeakers. Without shoes and wearing a long white nightgown, Amy felt less like a prisoner in space and more like Wendy Darling on her way to Neverland. The surreal architecture around her and the cats and dogs cheering her from the windows added to the atmosphere of unreality.

  “Let’s make a break for it,” she whispered to Sunflower, who trotted beside her with his orange tail held low.

  “Impossible,” said the cat. “But keep your eyes open and purse handy. I’ve got a plan.”

  The ring of flying metal octopi prodded them forward to a bright, needle-like tower at the center of the vast urban mess of Junktown. Amy’s eyes followed the white thread of the tower until it disappeared into the mist-covered rafters of the dome far above, and she almost fell backwards with the effort.

  A pair of doors opened at the base of the needle and the inspectors pushed Amy, Philip, Sunflower, and Betsy inside.

  “This is where the Lady lives!” barked the terrier.

  Amy waved a hand at the walls. “Here? She must be smaller than I thought.”

  “Silly! Not here here. This is just a movie-movie thing.”

  “You mean a lift,” said Philip.

  Amy giggled. “No, YOU mean an elevator.”

  Sunflower yawned and showed his sharp white fangs. “All three of you are right, but you’d better talk about something less boring. Maybe our impending death or banishment at the hands of the Lady?”

  “Have you met her before?” asked Amy.

  The orange tabby shivered. “Never!”

  “I have,” said Betsy. “She’s great.”

  “I wonder about you sometimes, dog,” said Sunflower. “If the transmat replaced your brain with a walnut, we’d never know the difference.”

  “I like walnuts,” said Philip. “Walnuts are perfectly wizard!”

  Sunflower blinked. “True, but you wouldn’t give them a 401k and a health savings plan, now would you?”

  The elevator doors whisked open and all four walked into a small, steel-walled compartment. Large wire grates covered the floor and ceiling.

  “Hold your breath!” said Betsy.

  “Why?”

  Amy yelped as a cold shower of disinfectant fluid covered her from head to toe, then held down the hem of her nightgown as a hurricane-strong torrent of air blew up from the floor and exited through the ceiling. The whole process was over in ten seconds.

  Amy straightened her messy hair with her fingers. “That’ll wake you up in the morning.”

  “Quite,” said Philip, and retrieved his cap from the grated floor.

  A door in the wall of the disinfection chamber swished open, and Amy followed Philip and the two animals into the next room. Her toes sank into the white carpet and she gasped––partly from the gentle fibers caressing her feet, but mostly because of the apparition clicking and whirring in front of them.

  Half human and half mechanical spider, the thing sat surrounded by keyboards and floating holographic displays in a pit in the center of the curved room. Thick cables hung down from the ceiling and spread across the carpet like a black webbing, linking the pit with other displays on the curved walls that showed the red-dot interiors of transmat chambers or the carefully curated warehouses of valuables stolen from other dimensions. A green and gray striped sweater hung loosely over the upper limbs of the creature like cloth on a scarecrow.

  The end of a sharp metal leg tapped on a keyboard. The apparition spun around, flinging a white braid across its shoulder, and Amy realized it was female. The tightly pulled hair, the sunken eyes, and the hollow cheeks covered in liver spots made Amy feel cold inside. She felt as if she was looking at a thing that should have been dead long ago, but continued only by force of will, a will transmitted through the bright blue eyes. Those orbs were liquid and large like the blinking eyes of a kewpie doll, but unmistakably human.

  “Hello, Amy Armstrong,” said the Lady. Her voice was warm and grandmotherly, like fresh apple pie in the afternoon.

  Sunflower grabbed the strap of Amy’s handbag with his teeth and leaped in front of the group.

  “Don’t move, you monster!” he snarled. “I’m going to make you pay for what you did!”

  The Lady nodded solemnly. “Yes, of course. Are you planning on beating me to death with that purse?”

  “No. I’m going to eat the five grams of cheese inside and blow us all into space!”

  “That sounds less like a plan, and more like suicide,” murmured the Lady.

  “I don’t have a choice. If we try to escape, you’ll track us down and send us to another dimension like you did my wife!”

  The Lady reached into a pocket of her green-striped sweater and pulled out a thumb-sized silver disc.

  “Sunflower, I knew that someday you would come to me and ask about her disappearance. Andy was one of my best operators, and her loss affected me deeply. All the data that I have on her last mission is on this disc.”

  “You expect me to believe that? Why didn’t you tell me this a year ago?”

  “Andy’s final mission had to remain confidential. If it weren’t for that, I certainly would have revealed everything, my dear cat. Have you ever known me to lie?”

  Sunflower stared at the white carpet for a long moment. He dropped Amy’s purse and walked up to the Lady. She clipped the disc to the orange tabby’s ear, and he returned to Amy.

  “Is that some kind of futuristic memory device?” asked Amy. “Are you going to read it with your mind or wait for it to dissolve into your bloodstream or something?”

  “Don’t be silly,” said the cat. “It goes in my CD player back at the apartment.”

  “Oh.”

  Philip clapped his palms together. “Well! Now that we’re out of that spot of trouble, I believe it’s time to ask the Lady her intentions. It’s rather apparent, from my point of view, that she’s been manipulating Amy into a certain course of action.”

  Betsy looked up from his kneeling position on the carpet. “She’s the Lady,” barked the terrier. “She just wants to help us!”

  The Lady shook her head. “Now Betsy––I told you no groveling, and no bowing. Raise your head.”

  “Sorry, Lady! It’s because I love you so much!”

  “Still groveling.”

  “Philip’s right,” said Amy. “Why have you … wait a sec. Is that outer space?”

  She walked around the perimeter of the circular room to the segmented window. Beyond lay a vast field of stars, where a swarm of silver craft inched and wriggled like miniature neon tetras.

  “Amazing,” she whispered. “It’s more beautiful that I ever imagined.” She squinted and leaned closer to the window. “Where’s the Big Dipper?”

  “You viewed that constellation from Earth, and we’re in a different part of the galaxy now,” said the Lady. “To be specific, we’re in the exact spot where Kepler Prime floated several days ago.”

  Amy shrugged.
“So we moved. This is a spaceship, and spaceships move.”

  “We have not deviated significantly from our galactic coordinates. Kepler Prime has disappeared.”

  Sunflower’s jaw dropped. “An entire planet? That’s impossible!”

  “It’s entirely possible. I watched it happen.”

  Amy pointed to a video feed of Junktown. “That’s the problem! You’ve been watching me since I came to this crazy place. That’s how you know my name. That’s why I can open all the doors. You’re the one behind it!”

  “It’s true I have followed your progress, but that’s not why you have free access to the ship,” said the Lady. “The systems are coded for a very specific pattern of DNA, one that you happen to have.”

  “Then I don’t understand the point of all this. Why did you let me wander around?”

  The Lady bowed her head. “You’re a very special person, Amelia Earhart Armstrong. It wouldn’t have been right to interfere with your visit to the Dream Tiger. I gave dear Philip the same treatment, because he is also a special person.”

  “Pardon me, your ladyship,” said Philip. “But your proclaimed non-involvement in our affairs is rather unbelievable. What about the murderous inspector you sent to England? Burning down the East End is a nasty bit of interference.”

  The Lady smiled with ancient yellow teeth. “The road to Hell is paved with the best intentions. I sent Betsy after you with a special backpack to control the inspector and prod you gently toward returning to the Dream Tiger.”

  Sunflower flattened his ears and growled. “Betsy …”

  “Don’t get mad, you guys! I was always on your side! Remember?”

  “Betsy has a true and honest heart,” said the Lady. “But without, perhaps, the highest skill. Please do not blame him for what happened. The responsibility is all mine.”

  Amy waved her hand through a holographic yellow triangle. It passed through effortlessly.

  “Why’d you let us leave in the first place, then? Just stop us in the transmat room.”

  “Your departure gave me time to prepare a certain project. Also, both of you needed to learn an important lesson.”