Rockstar Romance: Rock Bottom Love: Hearts On Tour Book 1

by Nora Crystal

  “I don’t want you to go.” I had grabbed onto both of Jean’s hands. I wanted all my depth of feel to come through. “I can take you on tour, I have my own room on the tour bus, you can just share it with me.”

  “But where will the hookers sleep?” Jean asked.

  “On the beds and couches in the front.” I said without even thinking. Jean glared at me.

  “I was joking!” She hit me on the shoulder and I dropped my arm.

  “And so I answered humorously,” I was trying to cover for myself and I felt like an idiot. “They are there because they’re only for the band.” I tried to sound convincing, but I could tell she didn’t believe me.

  We laughed and talked as we watched the waves roll in and then we headed back to my mansion. I had never seen LA like that before. We put our costumes away in the closet, I didn’t know when they might come in handy again. I started to wonder how many of the costumed freaks I saw walking through LA were actually celebrities hiding from paparazzi.

  We had dinner once again in the café room and once again the lighting and the mood were perfect. I just couldn’t get over the fact that she was not going to come on this tour with me. Even less romantic were the thoughts about Bobby and what he had said to me on the flight out here. Why was I heading out on the road? Why was I risking the happiness that I had found?

  I took Jean right from the dinner table back to the bedroom. I already missed her, and I didn’t want to waste any more time not showing her that. I realized that her time here was finite. I was going to lose her again. I couldn’t help but think that it was going to be better. I had always hated the people who bought their wives and girlfriends on tour. It always ended horribly, and I hated the idea of breaking up with Jean like that.

  I kissed Jean as soon as we got inside the room. There was no time left for waiting.

  Ch. 13 – Jean

  The day had come. I was headed back to reality. Travis was still two weeks away from the start of his tour, but I had to get back to school. In law school if you weren’t ahead, you were already behind. I knew that taking this vacation was a setback for my education. It had definitely been worth it.

  We ate our breakfast in our private living room. It was the only part of the house that was off limits to everyone else. I watched Travis as he dipped his toast in his yoke. I was literally going to miss everything about our time here together. The yokes, the café room, and even the dungeon. I was going to miss having a personal DJ, and a man servant. Mainly, I was going to miss Travis.

  “What?”

  “I was just thinking about you,” I said as he looked up. I was going start talking about how adorable he looked eating toast, but something inside me said it was time to have the conversation. “I was just thinking about tomorrow.”

  “Yeah, tomorrow,” Travis said. He stopped and thought for a moment. “Am I missing something?”

  “Tomorrow you and I will be thousands of miles apart and I just wanted to talk about it.” I didn’t really. It was the wort subject of conversation in the world, but I needed to say something, before I left and then I read about him doing something in the papers, and I had to spend days crying. “I don’t think…”

  “Well I do,” Travis interrupted. “I’m pretty sure I know what you’re going to say, but I do think we can make it. I think the long distance thing isn’t going to be an issue. It’s going to be hard, but now that I have you back in my life, I don’t want to lose you.”

  I didn’t know what to say. I could see that he was serious. I could see the sparkle in his eyes as the fluid pooled up in them. He meant what he was saying, I was just having a hard time believing it. I knew that I would be faithful, but I was going to be locked away in my room. He was a rock star. He was going to be playing shows and hanging out backstage. He was going to be surrounded by beautiful women who wanted to do things to him.

  “I just think it will be easier if we part as friends and not as boyfriend and girlfriend. It will be easier for me,” I said. I was trying to look into his eyes, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to see any pain on his face. I didn’t want him to see mine.

  “If that is how you need to leave it, so be it,” Travis was getting dramatic. I could hear it in his voice. “I will be faithful to you whether you want me to or not, and I hope you can do the same. “

  We ate the rest of the meal in silence. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to tell him about all of the scenarios going on in my head. All the women that I was imagining him sleeping with as soon as I left. He was still supposed to be gone on the reunion tour and there were parties planned every night. I didn’t see how he could possibly be faithful with all of the temptation that would be thrown at him. I didn’t say any of that, it’s not like it would’ve helped.

  We were ready to head for the airport. I only had the one dress. Travis packed my Wonder Woman costume in a bag for me. “Just in case you need it up there.” He said as he tossed me the bag. He hopped in the limo and we drove off.

  “Are you sure you don’t want me to just pay for a ticket?” I asked as I thought about the expense involved to take me back home on the private jet.

  “I didn’t buy a timeshare jet to let my girlfriend travel back to the east coast on a commercial jet.” Travis smiled. “I want to stay with you as long as possible, is there something wrong with that?”

  “No, nothing at all,” I purred as I snuggled into his chest. I loved that he wanted to go with me. It wasn’t like I was eager to leave. If it wasn’t for school I would have stayed with him forever. Luckily there was almost no time left at school. I just had finals and then I needed to make an appointment to write my boards. I was right at the end, the finish line was in sight.

  I was impressed when I got on the jet. I barely remembered the cabin. It was night last time and I was asleep through most of the ride. I definitely hadn’t noticed the mirrors on the ceiling. I sat next to Travis on a long narrow couch and we took off.

  Travis cracked a bottle of champagne that emerged out of the center of the table at the end of the couch. “How did that bottle get inside that end table?” I asked.

  “It isn’t an end table,” Travis said as he poured out two glasses, “It’s a champagne cooler.” We drank to my health and his health, and then to the champagne’s health. I was starting to feel light headed, but in a very fun way. I wrapped my arms around Travis’ neck and kissed him. Travis laid me down on the couch and welcomed me into the mile-high club.

  “Why didn’t we do that last time?” I asked, half kidding.

  “You were asleep, I may be a shady rock star, but I have rules.” Travis laughed as we got our clothes back on. I couldn’t believe it when the pilot said that we were landing. I stared out the window in disbelief. We were back in Connecticut.

  “Take me back to LA,” I said as the plane touched down.

  “In a heartbeat,” Travis said as he tightened the grip on my shoulders. “It is not a big deal for me to come and meet you here. I am not done with you. I need you to tell me that you are not done with me.”

  “I’m not, I could never be,” I said as I kissed Travis. Every kiss was getting a little longer as the prospect of actually leaving came near. I laid my head against is chest to feel his heart beating. It was only for a moment, but it felt like a mini eternity, as time stretched beyond the normal bounds. It felt good to feel so connected to someone. It was totally different than any relationship I had ever been in. I would notice if he was gone.

  “Are you okay?” Sheila asked as she held me in the airport. We were watching the private jet take off into the sky. It was heading back to LA, and I could already feel a hole in my heart. It was the space that Travis had taken up, and it hurt already.

  “I feel empty inside,” I said as we walked away from the window and left the airport. Mom thought that she understood what was going on. She had been hanging around rock stars for decades.

  “He writes lyrics you have to remember that,” She explained. “
He knows how to write an emotional hook. I hope to God that I am wrong, but sweetie he is a star. He leaves a trail of broken hearts in his wake, everywhere that he goes. I’ m glad that you had fun, but I don’t want to see you go to pieces over this.”

  I wanted to believe Travis, but I had seen this happen to my mom. I knew that she spoke from firsthand experience. I, after all, was the product of a great rock love affair that ended with my father, the lead guitarist for some band running out on my mom.

  This situation wasn’t exactly the same, I had done the leaving, but that didn’t mean the results would be any different. We are all creatures of habit, and Travis had spent the last ten years of his life having sex any time he wanted it. I threw myself into the passenger seat of my mother’s car and I stared out the window. It was night. The moon was full. I watched the moon as we headed across the city.

  I tried really hard not to expect anything out of Travis, but it was futile. I was too invested already. I was going to have my heart broken. I just knew it. I was dreading it. I was dreading my dorm room. I was dreading reading. I knew that I was going to throw myself into my schooling. That was what I did when I needed to deal with stress. I put on the blinders, and just lost myself in my studies.

  Ch. 14 – Travis

  The cold unfeeling house was unbearable without Jean around. Even the private living room felt different without her. I was fighting myself to sleep every night. The only happy times were the hours that I spent on the phone with Jean. Hearing her voice, or seeing her in a video screen. It was not enough, but it was something.

  I don’t know how many days went by. I was drinking to try and avoid the feeling of emptiness. Philly and Manse had parties booked in every night, but it didn’t help with the loneliness. I was alone no matter how many people were in the room.

  "Wow, this is a great new look," Gil said as he walked into the dungeon. I had been spending more time in there recently. I was telling myself there was a poetic reason involving dealing with my inner torment. I was in a house coat and boxers. I hadn't shaved since Jean left. I had no idea how I looked, but ruggedly sexy seemed like a pipe dream. The look I have going would likely be called, ‘Off the Meds,’ by Calvin Klein, I thought to myself.

  "I don't need to impress anyone," I said as I pushed past Gil out of the room. I had agreed to work with Gil, but I still had this angry visceral reaction whenever I saw him. It didn’t matter what he said, it always made me mad.

  "No, I think this look suits you." Gil was always slimy, but there was a little extra slime on that statement. Enough extra slime to worry me. I didn’t know what he had planned, but the greasy agent always had something up his sleeve.

  “Why are you here Gil?” I asked. I was walking away at a very quick pace, but I knew that he would follow. I was going to make it as hard as possible for him. Gil was going to earn his 10% on this tour.

  “It’s time for you to meet the band, you only have a week to get ready for the tour.” Gil was jogging to catch up with me. I headed down the stairs. The band seemed to be waiting there for me. They were looked like a rag tag bunch of rock n roll rejects. It was like looking into my future. Wrinkles and leather, faded tattoos and greasy hair. “This…is the…band, guys, this…is…Travis,” Gil huffed as he fought to catch his breath.

  “Trunk Hunker,” the man in the black leather vest said extending his hand. “There’s a story that goes with the name, but I forget what it is.” I shook his hand and tried to move on, but he held my hand. “’Balls to the Wall,’ is one of my favorite songs of all time.”

  “I wrote, ‘Banging on the Walls,’ so…”

  “Yeah, I know what you wrote, but it all sucks, I was telling you my musical influences,” Trunk Hunker laughed. “Just kidding ya, it’s a great song, I’ve got some songs I been workin’ on…”

  “And we agreed that you wouldn’t talk about that,” Gil interrupted. “You’re going to play the bass and nothing more.” Gil apologized quietly and led me over to a different old man in a leather vest. “This is Bat, he has been the roadie and back-up guitarist for every band in the country. It’s insane how many bands this guys worked for. He’s going to play rhythm guitar.”

  I definitely recognized the old man, but I didn’t know how much help he was going to be. He was at least 60 years old and his hands were all crippled up from arthritis. Just standing there looking at him I kept getting ready to catch him. He just looked like he was about to fall over at any moment.

  “I was your roadie back on the ‘Screaming Vagina’ summer tour,” Bat said as he pointed to a badge on his vest that commemorated the tour. It was one that I definitely regretted. The tour name had been a chosen as a part of a dare. Nobody believed that I would call the tour that, and so I did to prove them all wrong. We didn’t even have a song, or a lyric that the name could be attributed to, it was just the name I chose because I could.

  “So, this is a bit of a reunion,” Gil was trying so hard to find the silver lining for me. He could tell from my facial expression, and the fact that every time I looked at him I mouthed, ‘I am going to kill you,’ that I wasn’t happy with the band. “A screaming vagina reunion.” Never had there been a more awkward sentence in the history of the world.

  “I’m Pete!” A bigger man came and hit me on the shoulder. He was in his late forties to one hundred and fifties. It was so hard to tell with aging rockers. I could tell he was a drummer, because he was still in amazing shape, but he was either a senior citizen, or he hadn’t been to bed in twenty years. It was a hard call, but the length of his ear hair made me think that Pete was very old.

  His hand still had power in it. I tried to shrug it away, but it clung like a vice to me. “I gotta tell ya, I have been waiting for this opportunity for a lotta years!” Another thundering pat on the back almost put me through the wall in front of me. Pete kept talking as I started to think of a way out of here, but they had all converged on me. Pete, Bat, Trunk Hunker, and about 9 other guys who looked to be in about the same kind of shape.

  “Shots!” Manse said as he brought out a huge tray filled with shot glasses. Everyone started grabbing shot glasses and downing them. I could see that things were going to get out of hand really fast.

  “Ya got anything stronger?” Pete asked, I stared at him blankly. I didn’t want to see this guy high, but I didn’t know what to say. I had never played the heavy before. I was a party animal. I went nuts, I was the guy who asked for something stronger. I didn’t want to have to say ‘no’ to people, I didn’t know how to say ‘no’ to myself. Pete got tired of waiting for my answer and pulled out a bag of heroin.

  “You have to take that to the dungeon,” Manse said. I had never been so happy to hear his voice. “We only allow heroin use in the dungeon.” Manse led a group of junkies down the stairs as I grabbed Gil by the collar and put him up against the wall.

  “What the hell is this?” I yelled as Gil just smiled back at me.

  “This is your band,” Gil said confidently, “I know they seem really old, but that’s why I got so many. We will use the extras as roadies until we need to replace one of the band members. Don’t worry about a thing, I have thought of everything. This tour is going to go off without a hitch.”

  I was going to express my doubts when I heard noise at the top of the stairs. I didn’t want to be there when all of those stoned old men got back down the stairs. I ran like hell. Leaving Gil standing alone yelling to me that everything was going to be fine. I was fairly certain the old men were going to murder and eat Gil tonight, but he seemed way more optimistic about this group.

  I ran to my haven. The private living room and I grabbed my tablet. The tablet that Jean had found. I called her desperately hoping that she would pick up. It was three hours later back in Connecticut. There was a good chance that Jean, living her normal life was going to be asleep.

  “Hey you,” I said as Jean’s face appeared on the screen. “I missed you.”

  “I missed you too, but I can
’t talk, I have to study,” Jean said. It was so nice just to see her.

  “What if I stayed really quiet?” I asked I didn’t want to be alone. “You can keep studying, and I will just be with you.” She smiled, it was just a faint upward turn on her lip, but it was there. “I need to see you.”

  Ch. 15 – Jean

  “Okay, fine,” I gave in. It was hard to say no when I was just so happy that he was making this much effort. We talked for hours every day. This call was my second from Travis in less than six hours. He wanted me, he needed me, and I couldn’t get enough of it.

  I had been calling my mother after every call just to tell her about the conversation, and to try and let her know how wrong she had been about Travis. I knew that she was only looking out for me, but she had been saying awful things about Travis and I needed her to know that she was wrong. I could have easily just texted her, but I didn’t want to do that. I wanted to hear her when she got the news. It was wrong, but I couldn’t help it.

  “He’s going to mess up,” She would say at the end of every phone call, and then she would hang up, and it only made the next call all the more unavoidable.

  I had been back at school for a week, and I was already back into the routine. I was staying up all night studying. I never went out, and I never did anything fun. It was Travis that was keeping me grounded back in reality. He got me out of my head for a little while, and reminded me that there was a whole big world out there.

  I started to read again. It was hard knowing that Travis was watching me. I would’ve much rather just talked to him, but I had fallen so far behind in the last week it was getting scary. I was having trouble balancing the long distance relationship and school. I was also spending way too much time thinking, obsessing, and daydreaming about Travis.