Crashing Into Destiny (Wings of Artemis Book 3)

by Rebecca Royce

  All in the pursuit of profit.

  It was a long time before Judge quieted. My shoulder was soaked. I was going to need to change before I went to sleep. I wouldn’t move until I was sure he was okay.

  He hadn’t moved in a few minutes, and I nudged away just a bit so I could see his face. His eyes were closed, and his breathing sounded even. He’d fallen asleep. I kissed his forehead. He was so beautiful. Even more so to me than I’d found him that morning. I didn’t think it was possible he could get any more handsome. His mouth moved every once in a while like he was having a conversation in his dream.

  Ever so slowly, I pulled away from him. His eyes shot open the second I got out of the bed. His arms darted outward like he sought me before he was even fully awake. “Diana? Where did you go?”

  “I’m here.” I leaned over to kiss him. “I’m going to the bathroom. Go back to sleep.”

  “No.” He sat up slowly. “Did I ruin everything? I’ve never … that is … I’m not a crier. I …”

  I wagged my finger at him. “You stop that. You needed that cry. We all do sometimes. Even big, tough, geniusy alpha men. Okay? I’ll never tell a soul. I’ll be right back.”

  I came out of the bathroom, and he was still awake, sitting up next to the headboard. He patted the bed, and I slipped in next to him, pulling the blankets over both of us. He laid down on his side, looking at me, and after a second pulled me up against him until my head was on his arm.

  “I cried myself asleep. I can honestly say I’ve never done that. Ever.”

  He was going to obsess over this. “For like thirty seconds.”

  Judge settled down, the smell of his soap and the essence that was Judge making the bed warm. The wind blew loudly. With everything happening, I’d forgotten about it. He pressed his forehead to mine again. “Did I blow tonight? Are you going to decide to take me off the schedule?”

  I pinched his arm. “Don’t be like that. I’m crazy about you. Way too soon to be as attached as I’ve gotten. How am I supposed to protect my heart from you?”

  “You said that without a trace of irony.”

  “I have none.”

  He kissed my lips gently. “Today, before the weeping, was the best day of my life.”

  “I have a hard time ranking things outside of usefulness and productivity. I had a hard time with my favorite memory. I’m glitchy.” He scowled at me, so I kept going. “I’ll say simply that I loved today.”

  He was quiet for a long moment. “Sterling isn’t the only one to not like that word.”

  “Tough. It’s my word.” I’d already decided to be careful using it around Sterling. I yawned. “Let’s go to sleep.”

  He tugged me even closer. I wasn’t sure I could breathe if we got any more pressed together. “I should warn you I don’t sleep well, Di. My mind never turns off. I’m always solving problems or fixing things. I wake up usually twice a night at least. The second, or sometimes third time, I just get up and be done with it.”

  That wasn’t going to work. I wanted him here. He needed sleep. We’d have to work this out so that he calmed down enough to make it through night, even if he rested in the bed instead of being outright asleep.

  “Have you talked to Lewis about it?” This seemed more like a Lewis problem than a Cash. I might be wrong, but Cash came across as liking big, worldly issues and Lewis was more involved in the here and now. I reserved the right to be wrong about that.

  Judge smirked. “He drugged me for a while. My brain wouldn’t unfog. I couldn’t work.”

  Well, so much for that. I yawned again. We couldn’t solve everything right there in my bed. Maybe in the morning—which reminded me to set an alarm for Cash. “Do you have your tablet? Could you set the alarm for Cash?”

  “What time did he say?” He got out of the bed slowly; I could see he dragged a little bit. The sobbing had taken such a toll on him. Judge grabbed his tablet out of his pants and came back to bed with it. “We need to get you one of these. I’ll ask Damian if he’ll be willing to pretend I lost mine and get you a new one from Evander.”

  I didn’t want anything else from Evander. I’d taken their food, clothing, and lodging. It was hypocritical. I didn’t want Judge giving them any more of his soul, not for me. I decided to change the subject. “We have similar tech at home. I didn’t bring my tablet with me the day I ended up getting shot at and coming here. Cash said eight a.m.”

  His eyebrows rose. “What the hell is he going to do with you at eight?”

  “He didn’t tell me.”

  Judge set the alarm and lay down next to me, putting me back where he wanted me. “I would love to hear about your tech someday.”

  “I’ll tell you another time.” The wind blew in the distance, and Judge’s racing heart told me he wasn’t going to fall back asleep so quickly. I kissed a spot right below his neck. He responded really well to my touch. If I could calm him again, I would. He should never feel alone.

  “You want to sleep, and I’m totally blathering on. I’m sorry. I’ll be quiet.”

  That only made me feel much worse. I traced his spider again. “Tell me about what’s specifically bugging your mind right now.”

  “The glass enclosures. It’s not a new thing. They’ve bugged me from day one. Don’t get me wrong. They’re sturdy. I had Sterling throw things at it. The Infected are not getting through. I designed the enclosures. Evander had my specific instructions and sent the parts on the same ship they dropped us off on. I woke up, oriented, and built it from my own design.”

  I could picture him doing it. Probably still in his pajamas. “And?”

  “They’ve never seemed right, and I can’t pinpoint why. It’s like they don’t smell right.” He groaned. “I’m possibly obsessive.”

  “You’re definitely obsessive. That doesn’t mean you’re wrong.”

  He laughed, and I smiled. Finally, after a minute of considering his problem from all angles, I continued. “I see two suggestions I could make. Likely you’ve considered both.”

  Judge’s eyes widened. “Hit me.”

  “Have you taken them apart and put them together again?”

  He nodded once. “In the beginning. Since then, we’ve had the Infected. Cash isn’t so anxious to let me fool with the holdings.”

  He’d done that. “Then is it possible they didn’t send you the right materials? Even if they were packaged like they were? You asked for screws from one company; they sent it to you from another and packaged it as the first.”

  Judge jolted in bed. “Fuck.” He covered his mouth. “Sorry. I never considered …”

  I patted his side. “I’ve heard curses before. They don’t bother me. They’re just language. Judge, are you considering running out there now to check the materials.”

  He nodded, so I kept talking. “Okay, go.” If he needed to, he should. “Then don’t come back here tonight. I’m not trying to be a bitch.” I deliberately used a curse word. “I need to sleep. With the wind, I have a terrible time resting here as it is. If I hear you walking around at four in the morning I’ll never get back to sleep, so please go back to your own room when you’re done.”

  Judge didn’t hesitate. He lay back down. I guessed staying with me now ranked as more important than checking the materials.

  “There will come a time when I’ll be able to distract you from work.”

  He turned on his side, and once again I found myself pressed to his chest. “How so?”

  “Well, we’d have sex.” I said it. I couldn’t believe the words were out of my mouth the second I said them. “Then you wouldn’t want to leave.”

  He traced my face, a slow grin appearing on his. “I … I could make you feel good right now.”

  “How? You can’t …”

  He cleared his throat. “In the US I really liked oral sex. I mean, I realize I won’t get off on it this time. Only, I’d like to give you pleasure. That would be its own kind of reward. Not my pleasure. Not yet. Yours.”


  “I’m less experienced than you. I never had the US. That’s not to say I haven’t sometimes touched myself.” Okay, this was too far for me. I had to stop talking about it now.

  He leaned on his elbow. “Can I touch you?”

  “Yes.” My heart raced so fast. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I’d told him one day I’d distract him, and I was apparently already doing it. He kissed down my body, pulling my oversized pajama pants off me and throwing them to the side.

  “You smell really good, Di. I could just breathe you in all day.” He kissed down my belly until he got to where he wanted to be. I didn’t sleep in underpants. I simply didn’t have enough of them. The pants covered me just fine.

  Except now I was fully exposed, which I guessed was the point to begin with. He licked me from the bottom of my stomach until he reached inside of me and found my clit. He moaned, and I stole a look to see if anything was happening down there on him. Nothing. I laid my head back down.

  “It’s like I can feel what should be happening, and then it doesn’t. Don’t worry. It’s not about me tonight. I love this. I’m right where I want to be, giving you pleasure. Always.”

  His tongue went back to work, licking at my most sensitive spot until it pulsed and swelled. I’d made myself come before, mostly in the shower. It always took me a really long time. His finger slipped deep inside of me. No one but myself had ever touched me there before. I closed my eyes, the feelings his maneuverings stirred inside of me nearly taking over me.

  I really cared about Judge. It had been such a short amount of time, but he got me, and I’d really started to feel like I understood him, too. He could be deceptively bouncy. It just meant he concentrated really hard. Right now, all of that focus was on me. I didn’t want to disappoint him and not be able to come. He’d take it personally as a failure.

  “Get out of your own head, Di. I can feel you thinking. This is me showing you how much I care. Let me.”

  He’d read me perfectly. I made the thoughts go away; I made the worry, the stress, the freaking out all leave. There was only Judge. Only his mouth. Only the two of us and the things his tongue was doing to my clit. I moaned and covered my mouth with my hand, embarrassed.

  His breathing quickened. “Don’t take those sounds from me. Those are like gifts.”

  Judge’s voice, his words were as much an aphrodisiac as anything else. I moved my hand from my mouth, and the next wave of pleasure that moved through me I let out. The more I let myself just go with the sensations, the more he got it right. Oh yes, right there. Oh god, yes. That’s the spot. I was so wet. And then it all just exploded. My ears rang, and I buckled off the bed, steadied only by his hand on my knee. Colors crossed in front of my vision; for one second I knew the true joy of coming undone because someone cared enough to make you do so. I was so damned lucky. Tears streamed my face before I batted them away.

  Judge grinned like a kid on Christmas. A second later he climbed further up the bed to my side and tugged me against him. “Thank you.”

  I managed to open my eyes. “That’s my line.”

  There was such peace in his gaze. I gasped looking at it. He spoke slowly. “You’re making everything right.”

  “That’s too much pressure on me.”

  He tucked me against him. “No pressure, Di. Truth. Go to sleep. I’m not leaving. I’m even feeling tired myself.”

  I was dreaming about waterfalls. Judge chased me through a cave behind a waterfall. I laughed when I almost slipped, and he caught me. We stopped running, and hand-in-hand we stared down through the water to the lake below us. At some point, we were going to have to jump.

  Judge’s voice was low when he spoke. “You knew this couldn’t last. I knew it too. At some point, we’re both going to have to jump.”

  I don’t know what he would have said next or how I would have responded. I woke up because Judge felt tense on the bed. His face looked strained, and his silent talking was back, his mouth moving quickly. He was going to burst awake any second. He’d told me he got up at least twice a night. Not much time had passed. I didn’t feel stiff, and the hallway was dark. We’d never entirely extinguished the lights.

  I didn’t want to wake him, so I managed to touch the button to the side of the bed and get them off. It was easier to tell Artemis to do it, but I suspected one sound from my voice and the tentative hold Judge had on sleep would flee.

  The room bathed in darkness, a calm one. With Judge in bed with me, I wasn’t worried about the wind. I touched the side of his face and gently cupped his cheek. With my other hand, I held him close, drawing circles on his back. Tender signs that might lead the dark dream away and let him get some rest. I didn’t know what his dream self had meant by “jumping.” Still, the waterfall had been lovely. The real Judge should have something like that.

  He squirmed for a second, and then his mouth stopped moving. He let out a long, deep breath and then his mood evened out into what looked like a deeper sleep. Assured he rested again, I fell back asleep. This time I didn’t remember my dreams if I had any.

  The next time he woke me, he’d made a noise. I had no question he was in the middle of a bad dream. He lay flat on his back, and his facial expression was that of pure pain. I moved until I fit against him again, flinging my arm across his chest. I laid gentle kisses to his shoulder while, as quietly as I could, I shushed him.

  He settled again, his hand tightening on my back while his eyes remained closed, the movement of his eyeballs beneath his lids telling me he was deep in REM.

  I pressed against him and closed my eyes. Keeping Judge asleep was going to be a process. I wanted this for him. I wanted to know I brought him comfort, that I wasn’t another burden on a man who already had more than anyone should.

  He lay quiet the rest of the night, and eventually I dozed off again. The alarm blaring to life woke me at seven, and I groaned. Judge hadn’t moved since I hushed him back to sleep, and he still wasn’t. I rolled over him and shut off the blare. He didn’t move at all. I hated to rouse him when he looked so happy to be asleep.

  Instead, I quietly made my way to the shower. My muscles were achy, and the warm water did wonders for them. I’d never needed a lot of sleep, and I’d quickly get over the lack of rest with Judge. He was amazing. He made me feel … alive. I might even let him call me beautiful because I could see in his eyes he found me that way.

  Judge made the world move. My heart fluttered. Cash was coming for me. I couldn’t help but be really excited. He was so strong, brilliant, and mysterious in the things he said. I wanted to be a person he could trust, someone he knew he could open up to. He was also, to steal a phrase off the woman who sold baked goods on Mars Stations, handsome as sin. His olive skin and dark eyes were striking. He was tall and strong.

  I finished cleaning off and dressed into a too-big-on-me pair of sweats and a t-shirt. Good thing we had nowhere to go. I’d be presentable for nothing.

  Artemis’ clock told me it was 7:50 when I got out, which meant I’d really dawdled under the hot water. I stepped out quietly. Judge was still out cold, and I made my way outside of Artemis to meet Cash.

  He entered the hanger just as I got out of the ship.

  “Hey, I was coming in to get you.” He held out his hand, and I squeezed it in mine, which made him smile.

  “Judge is still out cold.”

  He stared at the ship. “Is he sick?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  Cash put his arm around me and walked me slowly out of the hanger. “What did you do to him to get him to sleep? Have some secret from the other side of the hole?”

  “No, I think he just needed a really good night’s rest.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Eggs a la Cash

  What did Cash want to do at eight in the morning? He wanted to have breakfast with me alone. I kind of thought that was sweet. When we bypassed the kitchen, I became concerned.

  “Where exactly are we going?”

  He
pointed at the ceiling. “Up.”

  “There’s an up?”

  Cash winked at me and didn’t answer. I followed him into his office, staunchly refusing to look at the Zombie, and to the other end of the room where he tugged a rope that opened a hole in the ceiling and lowered a set of stairs. “How did I not notice this before?”

  “You haven’t spent that much time in this room. You weren’t looking for it. The rope is pretty well camouflaged. And I guess you just didn’t.”

  I grinned at him. “Thanks for the thorough answer.”

  “Anytime, Boo.” There was the little nickname again. He gestured toward the stairs, and I followed him up them. Sure enough, there was an upstairs. It was an unfurnished, unfinished, wood-floored area that really must be the attic of the whole place. It stretched in every direction and, if I judged correctly, went the whole length of the giant enclosure where we lived.

  I internally jolted at the thought. I didn’t live here. I visited. My family was coming. Even if I wanted to stay here, eventually Evander would find out I was here and take me from them. Or try to. I didn’t want that.

  “So what do you think?” Cash gestured around him. “Technically, this is a storage area. We don’t use it. I don’t think Damian knows I come up here. So, if you wouldn’t mind keeping this from him, I’d be ever so grateful.”

  “Sure.” I didn’t share secrets unless someone was going to get seriously hurt. Like the time Colin told me he’d electrified Asher’s doorknob. That kid was too brilliant for his own good … I shook my head. What the hell was the matter with me? “What do you do up here by yourself?”

  He crooked his finger at me. “Come on.”

  I followed him. This was a side of Cash I hadn’t expected. He was … playful. With Judge, I’d seen it coming. Cash was so serious, so in charge. Eventually we came to a place where there was a break in the wall. The plastic coating of the rest of the area was still present; we weren’t cold. We could, however, see outside.