Indulge

by C. D. Breadner

  Buck snorted again, draining half his cup of coffee. “You find company last night after all?” he asked his VP, setting his cup down. They were letting Jayce have his conversation in pseudo-private.

  Tank shrugged, reaching into his pocket and pulling out and elastic band to pull his hair back. “Well, everyone sounded like they were having so much fun. So I got a twenty-dollar blow job.”

  “Twenty?” Buck faked amazement. “Damn, that must have been good.”

  Tank arched one eyebrow. “It was a blow job. Can they be bad?”

  Jayce snapped his phone shut. “All right, it’s safe to head back. Sheriff saw the Bakersfield PD off this morning. Reminding them of their jurisdiction.”

  “She reminds a lot of people about their jurisdictions,” Tank offered, emphasis on the dic part, of course. “Mine is always painfully alert when she’s around.”

  “I think she heard the sugar tits line,” Jayce warned, shoving the phone back into his pocket.

  “It’s amazing she hasn’t thrown us in jail for fun,” Buck noted. “You’re calling her sugar tits, Fritter’s flashing his junk at her.”

  Jayce frowned, thoughtful. “You’re probably right. We should watch that shit.”

  Tank tilted his head, hands out. “You gotta be kidding me. She’s likely used to it.”

  “Doesn’t matter,” Jayce said. “We’re talking to her like she’s still just a deputy. It undermines her position. We need to be on her good side.”

  Their breakfasts arrived right then. Bacon, eggs, and over-buttered toast. Buck’s stomach grumbled in anticipation.

  “So,” Jayce began jovially, shoving a slice of bacon in his mouth. “How’s this redhead treating you?”

  Buck suddenly found his scrambled eggs very engrossing. The club hadn’t really met her yet. A few had introduced themselves to Gertie on the occasions they ran into someone on their way to his dorm room. But until they met her for real, officially, he wasn’t going to talk about her too much. He didn’t need them giving him shit over her. And he wouldn’t render her down to a locker-room discussion, either.

  “He ain’t saying much,” Tank answered for him. “But he’s hands-off the club pussy. So take from that what you will.”

  “Hey,” Jayce snapped seriously, and Buck raised his eyes to his president’s. “Bring her to this bullshit birthday party this weekend. We need to meet her if she’s this important.” Jayce chewed a mouthful of fried egg thoughtfully. “You trust her?” he asked seriously.

  Buck nodded. “Yeah, I do.”

  “If this gets serious with you two, you can see her being strong enough to be your old lady?”

  It was a strange way for Jayce to phrase it. Buck already saw what there was with Gertie as serious, but the trust and closeness was growing. He’d liked having her at his house, in his bed. She’d damn near belonged there in his mind. So he nodded. “I can see her handling that,” Buck replied, looking over to Tank.

  The vice president looked surprised, but he was smiling.

  “What?” Buck snapped, his skin suddenly feeling tight with all this surveillance.

  “Nothing man, just surprised.” That was all Tank said.

  “Way I hear it one of the girls at the strip club is getting some extra attention from a certain someone at this table,” Buck snapped back.

  Jayce nudged him to cut it out. “Jesus, don’t do that anywhere Trinny could hear you. I like my balls where they are.”

  Tank was just smiling at Buck. “It’s weird I like to watch the girls peel?”

  Buck shrugged. “You only watch one of them, man.”

  “Who the fuck cares?” Jayce cut in, hand going to the centre of the table, palm down. “That’s enough. Buck, you know we gotta bust your balls a little bit. At least until we officially meet her.” Then he turned his attentions to Tank. “Lay off. You just sound jealous.”

  Buck cut up at that, catching Jayce’s smug smile as Tank bust out with a laugh of his own. In truth, Buck couldn’t wait for the group to meet Gertie.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Gertie was gasping, trying to catch her breath, the side of her face pressed to the top of her kitchen table. Buck’s warmth and weight was on her back, his hands still on her naked hips, lips lazily kissing across her shoulders.

  It was so good to be home.

  She felt him pull out, and spent as she was she still made a sound of protest. She’d passed the last ten minutes on her toes literally, bent over her mahogany table as Buck showed her just how much he’d missed her.

  Life seemed to be getting better and better.

  The receptionist at the Vancouver office had smiled when Gertie told her she had to mail something to herself. She told her some bullshit about going shopping for something a little private, and she didn’t customs going through her bags and finding it.

  She didn’t elaborate on what it was, but the girl commented that she hoped it took D-batteries and tossed it in an interoffice envelope with Gertie’s name written as the receiving party, then it was placed in a dull, gray bin that would be locked at the end of the day and sent with a courier to their main office.

  Gertie would get to the office before the bin would, but all day after that she was jumpy and distracted, waiting for the cops to walk in and take her off in handcuffs. That and the fact that she woke up so dozy and dopey. She has gotten little work done that day and what was completed was likely all wrong. She had no way of telling.

  The previous night Gertie got a great rest, relieved to be heading to familiar surroundings again. The next part of her clandestine operation was still looming large, but she felt like she was over halfway done with these people.

  Again she was at the airport well ahead of time, her flight not quite so early so she was able to sleep in a bit and take her time getting ready. She wouldn’t be heading to work when she landed so she dressed casually, boarded her flight, and had been totally floored when Buck was in the terminal waiting for her in Bakersfield. He’d borrowed a car to pick her up out of consideration for her luggage and he couldn’t wait for a private moment to wrap her up in a deep I missed you kiss.

  They headed straight for her condo, and she wasn’t sure the door had clicked closed before her clothes were joining his on the floor. They couldn’t wait to get to the bedroom either. He took her right here in the dining room area, in front of her floor to ceiling windows. It had been fantastic.

  As Gertie made for the bedroom Buck headed for the bathroom to clean up. She collapsed naked into her cool sheets, pulling them up and sighing. Yes, home felt best. Second only to a Buck-Induced Orgasm.

  He came back into the room, confidently naked, holding a white flat box. She was confused, then realized what he had. “Gertie, what is this?”

  She lunged to pull it away, which was silly. He’d obviously been looking at it already. “Don’t look at that!” she squealed, covering her head with her blankets and wishing the world would go away.

  “Why? Who is this?”

  It was the five-by-six inch canvas she’d painted that first night she brought the supplies home. The inspiration had been what sent her to Buck’s clubhouse that night, because it was Buck.

  She didn’t paint him head to toe. Just his eye. And profile, like he was looking over his shoulder. She liked it; it was almost as attractive as the real thing. She meant to get rid of it, but then it slipped her mind and he never came to her place anyway.

  “Gertie? Is this me?”

  “Of course it is,” she groaned in embarrassment from under the covers.

  She felt his weight hit the bed but she stayed where she was, so he came to her. He burrowed into the covers, bringing his face closer to hers and resting it on the pillow. “What’s wrong?”

  “I painted that a long time ago,” she admitted, closing her eyes again. “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s good.”

  “I’m a teenage girl, apparently.”

  The warmth of his hand on her cheek made her o
pen her eyes again. “I’m flattered,” he told her, his grin huge. Ugh. She’d given away too much in this relationship already. She hardly had any upper hand leverage. She’d had a crush on him for a long time and now he even knew it.

  “How embarrassing,” she said out loud.

  He nudged closer, hand sliding to her hip. “I like that. Because you kind of got to me too, you know.”

  She opened her eyes. “What?”

  He smiled wider. “I couldn’t stop thinking of you. Still can’t. Ever since I met you at The Dog’s Breakfast.”

  Gertie’s tummy tumbled over at that and she was grinning back. “Wow.”

  He pushed the blankets up and off their heads, rolling to his back and pulling her alongside him. “It’s not that I wrote off being monogamous. Just never found anyone that made me want to be. You’re it for me, as long as you want me around.”

  Gertie let that sink in, remembering the open attitude towards sex he and his club apparently had. She had assumed he was only with her for the moment, but having him confirm his faithfulness was pleasant. “You’re it for me too,” she assured him, although it wasn’t quite an equal offering. He was the best in bed she’d ever known so swearing off other men was hardly a sacrifice.

  “Life with me is complicated. So I’m going to tell you that if I keep things from you, it’s honestly for your own good. Can you trust me that much?”

  She thought it over. He’d protected her, stood up for her twice now. Rescued her twice from terrible family situations. “I think so,” she answered honestly. Blindly saying yes seemed too eager.

  “Good.” That satisfied him. “Now, I don’t want this to scare you. But there are two kinds of people you need to be careful to avoid.”

  Gertie angled her head up to look at him. “These are people that don’t like you?”

  “Or the club,” he added, nodding. “There’s a bike club called the Mad Gypsys. And those G-Town fucks in the city. You see them coming around or if they take a weird interest in you, let me know. Can you do that?”

  Her stomach sunk in a bad way, her illicit acts coming back to flare up the guilt again. But she nodded. “Sure.” She tried for a smile. “Thank you for telling me this.”

  It felt like another important development. She knew nothing of his life, only the parts he’d chosen to show her so far, and what she found out for herself going to the clubhouse that first time. She got it better now; she was his, with him, however you put it. If anyone showed interest she could say “I’m with Buck” and they fucked off. It was fascinating, actually.

  As near as she could tell, it was all very archaic. Primitive. Obviously the men were running the show, but on their own in private what she shared with Buck was just like any other relationship. He didn’t treat her like less than an equal. He really treated her like a queen.

  “Are you …” she licked her lips. Maybe this wasn’t something she should ask, but if he could answer she trusted that he would. “Are you a criminal?”

  “You know I’ve done time,” he answered gently. “I’m from Markham. I lived here my whole life, seeing the Rebels tearing around time my whole life. I wanted in so bad. I sucked at school. I was the shit show of the family. You know I did an armed robbery young, trying to get someone’s attention, and I met club members inside. It was a place I really felt like I belonged. This is my family.”

  “You’ve been to jail the one time only?” She basically whispered it.

  “Once, that was all,” he answered. “It’s always the goal to avoid it, but it happens.”

  “I see.” She couldn’t help it. It sounded like she was disappointed.

  He cupped her face with both hands, pulling her higher up on his chest and holding her in place. “I guess I’m saying I was a crook before the club. And once you have that record, that’s all you really are to the world. There’s no jobs in Markham as it is, never mind gainful employment for a con. But I can earn with the Rebels and belong somewhere. We need to live too, and our living means some bad shit runs through town, but none of it gets stuck here. And we keep certain other elements out like ice and crack. Weed is good, it’s mellow. People need that when they’re broke.”

  “I think that’s the most you’ve ever told me,” she pointed out.

  He shrugged. “I told you that I really can’t tell you the details. You’ll hear and notice things that will likely clue you in. There’s a lot of trust between me and my brothers, and until they trust you I can’t tell you everything. It’s like a test you have to pass.”

  Gertie smiled at that. “I see. I guess it would make them nervous if you’re out there telling anyone and everything about your nefarious doings.”

  “Nefarious?” he repeated on a chuckle. “Good word. But yeah, that’s the deal.”

  Gertie studied his eyes, his smile. How warm and protected she felt just being around him. “I get it,” she breathed. “When you think I’m ready, and only as much as you think I can handle.”

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  The TV was on but quiet. The sky outside was just darkening on the other side of Gertie’s floor-to-ceiling windows. They’d spent most of the late afternoon in bed, then ordered Chinese food. Now they were cuddled on the couch. She had one of those sectional deals with a lounger on one end, and that’s where they were. One of the pillows from her bed was tucked behind him, upright in the corner with her stretched on her side next to him. Her leg was wrapped around his under the blanket they’d also brought out with them.

  She was wearing his T-shirt and nothing else. He had his shorts on. He couldn’t stop running his hand up and down her side. It must have been comforting, because she was out cold.

  Buck had his eyes on the TV, but his brain was taking care of its own entertainment at the moment. It all consisted of his house, Gertie in it, her in his life for good.

  It was ridiculous. One month or less was a little early to get himself in this deep, but he wasn’t really the kind of person who thought things through long and hard. His first reaction was always to take what he wanted, action or otherwise. Pussies worried about whether or not they were making a huge mistake.

  Only two other club members were married; Mickey and Jayce. For the most part his brothers were the type that had no interest in family life; they wanted to ride, fuck around, have fun, then die. But Buck saw what Mickey and Jayce had. The type of women who let them be who they were, but never let their men walk all over them, either. The perfect blend of support and leader. Jolene and Trinny – especially Trinny – ran their households with an iron fist. But they didn’t do it to be bitches and make up for the choices they’d made or resentment or any of that bullshit. They did it because it was a stable life for their men and kids, in Trinny’s case anyway.

  At any moment their old men could go inside, they knew that. So routine and habit was part of life well before so life couldn’t dissolve into chaos when such things happened. As husbands, Mickey and Jayce provided financially and protection-wise. Their wives knew they could be primitive apes and loved them anyway. But they also never made their wives feel unwanted or ridiculous. They treated their women like queens, and in return their old ladies gave their men no grief or de-balling around the club members.

  The men would be easy for Gertie to win over. Plus, if anything were to happen because of Buck’s relationship with her, it would be him answering for it to the Rebels, not her. But the women would take their time accepting her, because a piece of gash causing trouble for the club affected their families and that shit just wouldn’t wash.

  Gertie immediately agreed to attend the birthday celebration for Jayce. She seemed nervous, though. It was funny how she was so shy meeting brand new people, but with him she could be a total weirdo and act absolutely comfortable with it.

  Personally, Buck couldn’t wait to officially introduce her to the guys. It was a big step, like giving her his letterman jacket or his school ring. They were going steady because of it or something.

&n
bsp; She sniffed and shuffled in sleep, her lips working a little as she swallowed, not waking. Two nights without her had been long, but he’d managed. There were times where he might need to leave for a month, and that was something that would really suck but he knew he could tough it out if she was what he was coming home to.

  He eased out from under her, replacing his shoulder with the pillow for the moment. He climbed over her legs, grabbing up the remote and turning the TV off. He moved to the door, making sure it was locked and bolted. He dumped out the beer she hadn’t finished, put the bottles in the box under her sink. Stowing away the Chinese leftovers he snagged the last deep-fried shrimp for himself and tossed all the garbage. Her place was nice, it should be kept clean and orderly.

  On the table he caught sight of the little painting he’d found, the one she said was of him. He grinned. Didn’t look like him, at least he didn’t think so. There was a broodiness to this face, sharpness to the eyes. If this was how she saw him, he didn’t know how to take that. Unless this was before everything got started between them. This dude looked a bit scary, and Buck had never thought he looked that way even when trying.

  He set the canvas down. She’d been so embarrassed that he’d seen that. It was another cute thing about Gertie. As he went back to the living room his eyes caught the sunflower field painting on the wall over the sofa. It was bold, bright. It was like Gertie, kind of.

  First Buck went to her room and turned on the bedside lamp, shut the blinds. Then he gathered up his exhausted woman and carried her down the hall. He tucked her into bed, pulled off his shorts and climbed in next to her. Finally he flicked the light off and settled down to sleep. Perfectly content.

  -oOo-

  Buck’s lips curled into a smile as warm, careful hands ran over his stomach, down under the sheets he had covering him at the waist. Sure Gertie woke him up, but he didn’t care. Not if it was for this.

  “I have to start getting ready for work in half an hour,” she whispered, and he grinned fully as her breasts pressed into his chest. Gertie’s hand found the erection he’d had half the night. She moaned as though it felt as good for her as it did for him. Her fingers and palm circled him tight, and he shoved the sheets out of the way to see what she was up to.