Good Times Bad Times

by C.P. Kemabia

  I slithered across town, amongst the clouds, trailing after the Greaves’ car. The family was pacing down the lane, sloshing through the traffic jam, sandwiched on both sides by a tow truck and a panel van. Now and then, Jeff glanced at his watch while Zoe turned to check on Reuben and his twin sister Phoebe.

  I was pretty sure about their destination: the city park. Days of planning and scheduling had gone into making this family outing possible. It had been quite a while since the Greaves had spent some quality time together. And so they were stuck in traffic, joining in the cacophony of car honks that hasty drivers had started.

  The city park lay ahead, far and away, across the financial district. But some of its incredible hallmarks were already looming across the soft horizon, like its lavish foliage, the golf course, the botanical garden…

  As soon as the traffic resumed its typical snail’s pace crawl, I drifted off and set course for the Flanagan Condo, apartment 205.

  By then the boys had now assumed different stances to read their erotic magazines more comfortably.

  Stephen was laying full length on his stomach, his cheeks propped up on his hands, his eyes full of the beautiful naked women spread across the pages of the two editions he was simultaneously perusing. Kane was sitting up on Justin’s bed, legs drawn up to his chest, some big rounded breasts leaping at him from the page. From the way he was staring at them, it looked like he was this close to eating them up.

  “Wow –– Check out those two perfect little creatures!” he quipped, showing the pictures around to the others.

  “They’re totally fake.” Tobey observed while shelving the magazine he had just finished reading under his buttock.

  He was side sitting on the floor with both legs extended out, and immediately picked another magazine from the lot to browse.

  “You don’t know that,” Kane said, taking a closer look at the picture. “I’m telling you guys, those are legit! I don’t see any stretch marks on her skin.”

  “But look ––” Getting up on his knees, Tobey grabbed the magazine from Kane and studied it for a second. “They don’t even match up in size.”

  “What’re you talking about?” Kane snatched the magazine back, looked again at the picture, and turned the page over multiple times to change the way he was viewing it.

  “They do terrific boob jobs these days, you know.” said Justin, seated in a chair at his study table, barely leafing through the magazine he was holding open.

  “Yeah – that’s totally true” supplied Stephen. “Like how many of you knew that Mrs. Stanton had implants?”

  All eyes riveted on Stephen at once.

  “You’re kidding!” Tobey exclaimed, sitting back down bemused.

  “Mrs. Stanton?” Justin asked, just as bemused. “The History teacher?”

  “Yeah, that’s the truth,” nodded Stephen. “I couldn’t have possibly imagined either. And yet, in all this time when I was looking at them, they looked pretty authentic to me.”

  “And how exactly did you come by that information?” Kane asked, shifting on the bed.

  “I overheard a conversation she had with Carmel Rossily – you know, Miss Eggroll – they were talking about plastic surgery and stuff. So Mrs. Stanton brought it up. At one point, I thought Rossily was going to feel them up.”

  Justin stifled a chuckle while Kane merely shook his head.

  Miss. Rossily, one of the gym teachers, had been nicknamed Miss Eggroll, because of how her bleached hair was cut around her head. It was short and was cropped so closely that not only did it emphasize her protruding forehead; it also made her look as if she was bald when seen from afar.

  “Miss. Rossily…” Justin said, thinking out loud. “She’s a total spaz for a gym teacher.”

  “That explains it then...” Tobey said, evidently grappling with a funny thought.

  “Explains what?”

  “Why all the frigging male teachers always seem to like Mrs. Stanton’s company better than the others’.”

  “Of course, she’s a looker,” asserted Stephen.

  “Yeah sure, she gets three stars at the most like everybody else. But now, you add the fake boobs, and voila! She earns one more star. Dude, it’s all chemistry!”

  “Oh! Because you’re so great at chemistry now.” Kane said with wry sarcasm.

  You could see that he was a little cross, because the others had discounted his earlier comment about the big-tittied woman in the picture. He knew hers to be real, and just as juicy a fruit as a watermelon.

  “Dude, I know what I’m going to say will sound crazy…”

  “Then don’t say it,” Kane snapped.

  “I have to say it,” Tobey replied. “You guys never wonder why fake boobs are so attractive to men; they’re like living magnets.” He waited for his friends’ reaction. Then he went on, “They act like a pheromone, you see; I’d stake my arm that there’s something chemical the docs jam in them that drives men out of their brains nuts. Why do you think girls fancy them so much, huh?”

  “That’s a good point,” Stephen said, unfolding to a sitting position.

  Justin was rubbing his jaw reflectively. He had a hard time wrapping his head around this thought-provoking statement, that when analyzed through and through, made some sense. You saw so many boob jobs out there on the streets. But he couldn’t lump his mother with all those women who’d upgraded their assets. But wait – even if she had, how the hell would he tell? Maybe when she was younger and he wasn’t born yet… Come to think of it, her breasts still held up pretty much in place. A blush of shame suddenly came on Justin’s face, and he quickly made himself not think about this part of his mother’s body.

  “This is pure nonsense!” Kane said, setting the magazine aside, while bringing his feet down to the floor. “There’s no aphrodisiac stuff in breast implants; this is just balls. Plus Mrs. Stanton’s boobs aren’t fake, they’re real. Stephen just made that up.”

  “Now why would I do that?” Stephen said.

  “Because you have a very active and perverted imagination.”

  Stephen was going to object…

  “No, hold on,” Tobey cut in. “Have you seen those tits, I mean –– close-up?”

  “They’re real,” Kane said again. “Believe me.”

  “How can you be so sure?” Justin asked. “What makes you such an expert?”

  “Because ––” Kane beamed teasingly, his bottom lip curling into a naughty smile. “I have some experience on the matter now.”

  “Get outta here!” Stephen soared to his knees, his eyes bulging in disbelief.

  Justin winced out his puzzlement, while Tobey was now hung to every stir from Kane’s mouth; even though no word was rolling out of it.

  Kane was terribly and ceremoniously holding back on the crispy experience he obviously wanted to share, dragging out the moment of reveal to increase the level of agony in his audience. This was no surprise coming from him. He’d always had a thing for showmanship.

  As if suddenly dawned upon by an exciting realization, Tobey abruptly jabbed the flat of his hand against his mouth. “Oh, my God!” he said through his hand.

  “What…?” Justin asked, his interest escalating.

  “No freaking way!” Stephen said in turn. He seemed to be on the same page as Tobey.

  “What…” Justin asked again, his interest now peaking off the chart. “For the love of God, just spill it out already, I’m dying here!”

  “Alright, alright guys –– I wasn’t going to tell you this until later days, but since we’re all here… Anyway, I scored big with Joanne Treece yesterday.”

  A brief silence followed the announcement. Joanne Treece attended Crossman School, the same school the boys attended. They were all taking the same classes. She was one of those preppy girls who always seemed to achieve academic prowess effortlessly. Over the years, she had garnered her own cult following, to say the least, due to her charm and charisma. That didn’t mean she was touchy-feely
all the time with everybody. Rather, she often exuded this internal shyness, which made it difficult for her peers to get past the schoolmate/friend zone.

  “D’you guys make out?” Stephen quickly asked Kane. You could see he was eager to know, and that, that is all he wanted to know.

  “Well –– more or less.”

  “What does that mean, more or less? You either horse around, or you don’t”

  “Geeeeez!” Tobey said. “Shut the hell up! And let the man talk.”

  “Okay, listen,” Kane started, leaning forward. “As you guys know,” (Justin didn’t know) “I was going to make my move yesterday and ask her out on a date after school; maybe go to the movies or something. You know, play it gentle and nice and––”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah …” someone rasped for Kane to cut to the chase.

  “So I sweet-talked her into it.”

  “And she fell for it?” That was Justin asking.

  He knew that Joanne was smart and very nice-looking, and cherry on top, she was wise to all the guys’ lame acts to try and date her. There were probably scores of wooers cutting their throats over her right now as they were speaking. Truth be told, Joanne had always intimidated Justin to some degree. But he wasn’t into her like most of the schoolboy community. And he thought that was a good damned thing.

  “Yes, of course she fell for it,” replied Kane. “What do you think? You just have to say the magic words; plus it was Friday night, right? And even difficult girls like Joanne want to have a good time, and they know good stuff always happens on Friday nights. But the thing was, she didn’t want to go to a movie midnight showing, so I thought of this party the cadet football team was throwing to celebrate their victory. And given how we thrashed the Saker Horn’s team that afternoon, I figured the party was going to be huge.”

  “Dude –– that was like a private party!” Tobey said.

  “You seem to forget that I used to be the second assistant to the team manager; so you could say that I still have access to some of their events. Anyway, I sweet-talked her into it and she was like, ‘Okay, don’t make me regret this.’ So we were like ready to roll man, just waiting for the bus. I was thinking about all the stuff I’d do to keep her entertained at the party, and then, this freaking thing happened, and boom! –– my plans went all up in flames in one second.”

  “What? You guys didn’t do anything?” Stephen asked, visibly upset. He had the look of someone who had just seen a very bad movie and now wanted a full refund.

  “Did I say that?”

  “What happened?” Justin said.

  “I’m not really sure,” Kane said. “While we were waiting at the bus stop, some lady from across the street bent to pick something up off the sidewalk, I think. Then she tumbled, very hard, and ––” Kane smacked his hands together for dramatic effect. “She was dead; I mean, like, floored and dead. Her whole body was all smoky. It was like watching a spontaneous human combustion. The whole thing was just horrible.”

  The boys’ faces had all puckered into a wince of revulsion.

  “People all came rushing in,” Kane continued with his unaffected tone. “And, you know, Joanne got pretty shook up by all that. She didn’t want to go party anymore; she just wanted to go home. I was pretty pissed at her, but again, someone had just died before us. So I took her home…”

  “So you guys didn’t do anything,” insisted Stephen. It was no longer a question, but rather a dry accusation.

  “She was still shaken when we got to her place, and she asked me to stay over because her parents weren’t home. They’d left a note saying they were spending a night out on the town. So she didn’t want to be alone all night.”

  Something in the boy’s eyes flickered with excitement. This part of Kane’s story seemed to hold the promising turn of events they had been waiting for.

  “Guys –– that girl’s really mental,” Kane said, with an emphasis on the word mental. “I mean she’s really deep. Two hours I sat there in her living room while she was going on and on about life and its meaning and whatnot. Gosh, she shot her mouth off in every which way about weird metaphysical stuff that you may only hear in an advanced philosophy class. No doubt she’s a real thinking girl, but God she’s such a bore. But I guess my listening skills paid off somehow, because next thing I knew we were kissing. And I’m not talking about a lame peck on the cheek; I’m talking about the hardcore stuff, you guys know what I mean?”

  The boys thought that they knew what he meant. And they were picturing a kiss that involved lip-sucking, tongue-licking, fluid-trading, and all that good stuff.

  Kane added, “And I must say I was impressed by how good she was at it.”

  The boys were now looking at Kane with a mixed feeling of envy and admiration. Especially Justin who was also looking to learn one or two things from this tale.

  Kane had succeeded in having his way with Joanne Treece, one of the most coveted prizes amongst the tenth-grade males of Crossman School. And that feat alone called for some cardinal respect.

  “You lucky bastard!” Stephen complimented him with a blissful smile.

  “Oh, but I’m not done yet –– So we were necking like crazy there on her couch, and so I started groping for her boobs to keep her fire on. Boy – that just killed it. She cried it off and asked me why I did that. I thought she was going to spit in my face or worse. She said I had ruined everything; called me a brainless pig and asked me to leave.”

  “Jesus, I always knew something was off about her,” Tobey said, laughing.

  “Or ––” Justin contended. He had rolled up the magazine he was holding and was pointing it at Kane. “Or it may be that you just fouled it up with your groping hands.”

  “Yeah,” Stephen agreed. “With girls like that, you always want to ease into the next level, you know, drop a hint or two as you go.”

  “Whatever dude,” Kane said. “Anyway, I was out the front door when she stopped me again and asked if I wanted to redo it some other time. And if “yes,” I’d have to swear not to rush things.”

  “Swear?” Tobey repeated as if a fly had landed on to his tongue and he was sticking it out in disgust.

  Stephen snickered. It was the zaniest thing he’d ever heard.

  “Her own words man,” Kane continued. “And boy, she meant it. I was tempted to tell her to forget it. But you just don’t turn down Joanne Treece. She’s a goddamn hottie.”

  “So you’re gonna see her again?” asked Tobey.

  “I told her to call me… We’ll see. Now that she got a taste of me, I’ll string her along for a little bit. Test how bad she really wants to have another one on one.”

  A chorus of agreement from the boys fed right into Kane’s love for self-acclamation. Even though he was cheering for his friend’s exploit, Justin couldn’t stop his attention from wandering off to a more personal matter that touched his heart: Solene, the rebellious teenage girl from apartment 408. He was thinking about her and the lifelong crush he had on her, despite the fact that she was one year older than him.

  For the longest time they had settled into this informal relationship. Hanging out together around the neighborhood, sometimes raising hell in the Condo by turning up his/her home stereo sound system full blast on weekends, lighting up firecrackers at nightfall, and making prank phone calls. Back in the old days, they even used to ring on tenants’ doors, only to flee right away before someone got to the door. But they didn’t do that anymore.

  “I think it is time the likes of us got some action too,” Stephen told Kane, waving his hands to include Tobey, Justin and himself. “I mean, Treece has a pretty interesting entourage, right? And you’re in the perfect position now to put in a good word for all of us.”

  “Yeah, I sure can do that,” Kane said, content of the edge he had over his friends.

  “Thanks very much,” Tobey said quickly. “But, no thanks. I’d rather not be involved with someone from school. It’s a recipe for disaster; it just gets complic
ated afterwards.”

  Stephen turned to Justin. “What about you, Justin? Are you gonna be a wussy like Mister I’m-too-nervous-around-real-girls-so-I-make-excuses-to-settle-for-this-pin-up girl here!”

  While saying the last bit with a mock imitation of Tobey’s voice, Stephen had stuck a page with the photo of a nude model on it right under the nose of Tobey.

  “You just mind your own business, you dummy fuck!”

  Tobey snapped back, pushing the magazine out of his face.

  Justin heavily stood up from his chair and moved to the open window. Finally, he said, gazing out, “I think I’ll pass too. I already have someone.”

  Everybody looked at him. He might as well have announced that he was going to jump through that window.

  “And who the hell might that be?” Stephen managed to ask.

  “Solene Greaves.”

  “Wait a minute,” Kane said. “Are you talking about your neighbor? No offense dude, but that girl’s kind of weird.”

  “But I have a feeling that she’s not as squeamish as Joanne, huh,” Stephen said with a laugh. He was picking on Kane.

  Tobey said to Justin, “I thought you guys were, like, friends or something…”

  Justin lowered his eyes. The architecture of his relationship with Solene was never really clear-cut. They weren’t ‘friends’ per se. Solene went to an out-of-town boarding school; and while she was over there, months – sometimes a full year – would pass by without Justin hearing from her at all, for they would not keep in touch in any manner whatsoever. No phone calls… No texting… No online correspondence... No nothing. And because her school’s year-round timetable was different from Crossman’s, their respective break period hardly coincided. This caused him not to know exactly when she’d be returning home, or if she’d be returning at all during the usual break periods. However, all that dead air between them would only intensify his longing to see her. Then one day, they would just meet by chance; either in the corridors of the Condo, or at some corner shop. And as if their time apart had never happened, they would easily resume the pattern of their casual frequentation.

  After consultation with himself, Justin had to admit that he and Solene weren’t friends in the common sense of the word. They were more like mates of the same group therapy at best (and younger, they’d been partners in crime), which he did not mind too much. He liked that he was the only one (it seemed) through whom she could channel her angst, her frustration, her anger, or whatever the hell was messing her up from the inside, prompting out the rebellious side of her nature. But deep down, Justin knew Solene to be a maverick at her core. Now, he wanted more out of their pseudo-friendship. He wanted to break the pattern. God knew how many chances he’d missed to come at her straight and reveal his feelings, so that in time he could do with her what Kane had done with Joanne.

  In his state of reflection, Justin heard Tobey say, “I mean you guys are friends, right?”

  “I don’t know what we are,” Justin told him. “Whenever I want to ––you know, come onto her, I either freeze like a freaking moron or back down. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

  He moved to sit back on the chair. He looked sort of hopeless.

  “She’s here for a week or so, and today’s her birthday,” he went on. “She wants to go see a play, so I’ll be hanging out with her. And I made up my mind. Today must be the day. I’ve been thinking about it since last night. I’m going to open up.” He looked at Kane squarely. “Do you think I have a shot? I mean –– do you have any words of advice?”

  “Dude, if you want to skip right to the foreplay, then I advise you show her all this,” Stephen replied instead, gesturing at the erotic magazines. “Maybe that’ll give her some ideas about how to open up.”

  He started laughing his head off. Tobey nearly laughed too, but caught himself right on time. He sensed this was no laughing matter to Justin.

  To show that he could go along with a joke, even if it was on him, Justin simply put his hand on the back of his study table’s chair and tried to smile. And as he tried to smile, he soon discovered that he had pride, and his pride was telling him to sock Stephen right in the jaw. But there were more important matters at hand, and so Justin ignored his friend and asked Kane again,

  “So what do you think I should do?”

  “Well,” Kane started after a short moment. “Like I said, she’s really…” He trailed off and searched for a word, other than “weird,” but couldn’t find any. He started over. “Honestly, I don’t know man. You’re gonna have to figure it out on your own.”

  Justin thought about this. But it seemed as if that thought was stretching far beyond the edge of his cranial box. It was making him dizzy, not knowing how to break the news of his crush to Solene.

  Chapter V

  INTRUSION ALERT AND VICE EXPOSED