Diary of a Young Girl

by Mark Anthony

  “This my first time at this spot,” I said while I tried to relax.

  “Oh, word?” the guy said as he licked his lips.

  I didn’t say anything and I knelt down a bit to put my drink down on the floor since I was finished with it.

  “So let’s go upstairs,” the guy said as he handed me eighty more dollars. He put the money in my hand and kind of guided me toward the stairs.

  Shayla you are straight buggin’! I screamed at myself.

  But unfortunately, the little bit of saneness that I had left, it lost out to my insanity as the guy took me into one of the four bedrooms that were located on the second floor.

  “Go into that room right there,” some big black guy sitting on a folding chair in the hallway said to me and the light-skinned pretty boy.

  We went into the room and closed the door. There was one single bed in the room and a roll of paper towels and a lamp. That’s it. There was nothing on the walls and there was no carpet on the floors, no chairs or nothing. I was actually surprised that there was even a sheet on the bed.

  The light-skinned dude didn’t waste no time. I guess he could tell that I was new so he kind of led me. He turned on the lamp that dimly lit the room and then he started to unbutton his pants.

  “Take them shits off,” he instructed me as he pulled at the button to my jeans.

  It was like I was in a trance and I couldn’t believe that I was gonna let myself do what I was about to do. But like a robotic dummy I started to unbuckle my tight pants and I squirmed my way out of them somehow. And I was soon standing there with my socks on and my top still on along with the light jacket that I was wearing, but my ass was fully exposed and just blowing in the wind.

  The guy had to have had one of the biggest dicks that I had ever seen and he began to stroke it in order to prepare it for action.

  In my mind I was like, okay, should I kiss the nigga? Should I go down on him or what? I didn’t know what to do so I decided to just turn around so that my ass was facing the guy and I placed my hands on the bed and just sort of waited for him to fuck me.

  “Damn shorty, you ain’t got no condoms?” the guy asked.

  When he said that he almost snapped me out of my trance as I realized just how crazy I was. But before I could react the guy knelt down and reached in his pants pocket and got a condom and he put it on.

  He then knelt down and hocked and spit in my pussy to lubricate it and he slipped his dick inside of me and started fucking me harder than I had ever been fucked in my life. He was so big and handling me so rough that I couldn’t help but scream. Although he was being rough and he was hurting me, at the same time the shit felt good and I think just because of the fact that I was sexing some complete stranger, that too was turning me on and before I knew it the guy had me cumming all over his dick and me screaming at him to fuck me harder.

  Even with the loud music that was being played I could tell that the guy heard me because he pumped his dick harder and harder into me as he commented on how nice and tight my pussy felt.

  Then it seemed like before I could blink it was over, but it was actually more like five minutes or so had passed and I could tell that the guy was cumming as he stayed inside of me and pushed me on top of the bed and pumped his dick until he had completely finished.

  “Yo that shit was good, shorty!” the guy said as he lay on top of me breathing real heavy. “Whewwww!”

  As the guy prepared to get up I couldn’t believe how good he had made me feel and at the same time I couldn’t believe how extra wet my pussy felt.

  “Oh, shit!” the guy screamed out.

  “What happened?” I said but as I looked I quickly realized that he didn’t have to answer me because I saw him standing there with a rock-hard ten-inch dick that had a ripped condom around it.

  “The fucking condom broke!”

  I jumped up and my heart started racing a mile a minute. And the funny thing is that I was more scared about getting pregnant than I was about getting some kind of STD. The only thing that I could think of is if I got pregnant how my aunt would be so disappointed in me and how my father would surely whip my ass.

  I looked down at my pussy and thick white semen was just oozing out of it. I immediately grabbed the roll of paper towels and I started wiping my pussy clean as if it was gonna prevent any possible damage at that point.

  The guy meanwhile had started to put on his clothes and as he got dressed he cursed me like it was my fault.

  “Bitch, what the fuck is wrong with you! I can’t believe this shit!” he said as he stormed out of the room in somewhat of a panic.

  I was definitely rattled as I rushed and put my panties on and I managed to quickly squirm back into my jeans and prepared to head back downstairs.

  “Yo!” the black guy sitting on the chair in the hallway yelled at me as I placed one foot on the top step.

  “Thirty dollars! You think you live here or some shit? These rooms ain’t fucking free!” he said to me.

  I was now really rattled as I gave the guy thirty dollars and headed back downstairs to the living room.

  I saw Rory and Earl and they were high as hell and enjoying the lesbian show that was still going on and which had been joined by more women.

  Over the loud music I yelled into Earl’s ear, “Earl, let me get the key. I wanna sit outside in the car.”

  “Yo, where was you at?” Earl yelled back.

  “I went to go get a drink.”

  “Are you crazy!” Earl yelled. “Niggas will slip some shit in your drink up in here! Yo, stay by me, we gonna be outta here in a minute.”

  I didn’t let up and I insisted that Earl give me the key so that I could go back to the car. My nerves were shot and I needed to smoke some weed in the worst way.

  As Earl handed me the key and I turned to leave, here came that old-ass perverted-looking man who had given me the fifty dollars. Truth be told, he wasn’t that old. He looked like he could be about in his late thirties or early forties but there was just something sick and perverted-looking about the dude who also looked like he was torn down and beyond drunk from liquor.

  “Oh, there go my young tender roniiii, my fiiiine sprrring chicken, my PYT come give me some Pussaaay,” he yelled out in a slurred drawl over the music. “You tried to disappear on me?”

  Earl turned to the guy and told him that I was his sister and that he had to back the fuck up off me.

  Then the guy started getting belligerent and started cursing and calling me outta my name and saying all kinds of disrespectful drunk shit.

  “I paid that ho fifffffty dollars and I want my dick sucked!” the guy said as he slurred his words. “Bitch, come suck this dick!”

  “What?” Earl responded with an attitude as he looked at me for confirmation.

  I played it off like I didn’t know what the guy was talking about and that he was just some wino drunk nigga.

  “Yo, go to the car, Shayla!” Earl commanded me.

  I quickly left and went outside as Rory and Earl handled the drunk dude.

  I got in the car and turned on the radio and realized that it was approaching eleven o’clock and that the so-called movie that we were supposedly going to was just about ready to start.

  Like a drug addict I frantically searched that car for the weed that Earl had stashed and when I found it, it was like I had hit the jackpot or something. I quickly rolled a joint and started smoking it. And when it was done I rolled another one and started smoking that one as if I was chain-smoking cigarettes.

  But soon enough my nerves calmed down and I was mellowed out from the weed and I reclined in the seat and repeatedly told myself not to worry and that there was no way in the world that I could be pregnant.

  Just relax, Shayala, you’ll be fine, I told myself.

  I blew out some air and I listened to Kiss FM. I realized that there was no way I could tell Earl—or anybody, for that matter—exactly what I had allowed myself to do that night. Yeah, I knew that I w
ould have to suck it up and just deal with it on my own. And at that point I wasn’t sure what I felt about underground sex parties. I mean, the open sex and anything-goes type of atmosphere definitely sat well with me. But for the first time in my life, after all of my promiscuity, I was actually scared as hell for the position that I had put myself in. So in that respect I didn’t like the danger that underground sex parties had posed for me. But if there was one thing that I knew, it was that even in spite of my fear of the dangers that underground sex parties posed, there still was never a party that I’d been to in my life like the underground party that I had just left.

  Yeah, I was scared and confused and excited all at the same time.

  Don’t worry about nothing I told myself as I lay in my bed that night after finally reaching back home with Earl.

  Okay, I’ma chill, relax, and not worry, I said as I stared at the ceiling in my aunt’s basement. I had just finished sexing Earl about half an hour earlier. I guess he had gotten all worked up at the underground spot and when he came home he knew that he had a sexual outlet in yours truly. It was all good, though, because the raw dick down that I got from Earl definitely helped to put me at ease where I could in fact just chill, relax, and not worry. Part of me, though, did really hope that I hadn’t caught anything from that dude at the party because I would have hated to have passed anything on to Earl. Earl was a good dude as far as I was concerned.

  Anyway, I pulled the covers up and over my head and turned on my side into the fetal position, which was my most comfortable sleeping position. And as I closed my eyes for the final time that night just before I fell asleep my last thought was, ain’t no party like a underground party.

  Chapter Eleven

  Ho Drama

  I had never told Earl about what really went down with me at the first sex party in terms of how I had ended up sexing that complete stranger, or how I had accepted the fifty dollars from that older dude and never gave him anything in return, nor did I feel I had to tell Earl about that.

  What was weird was that before Earl had ever taken me to one of those underground parties, he had been real hesitant and almost resistant to take me. He never verbally said it but I just felt like he really cared about me and had a soft spot somewhere for me and he didn’t want to corrupt me and expose me to such a crazy, underground world. But as it turned out I was actually wrong about Earl and he quickly proved to be a self-centered, selfish motherfucker and his front to not wanna expose me to that underground world had been just that, a front.

  Like I said before, Earl wasn’t a street dude. He was down and he was cool, and he was hip to what was going on in the streets but he wasn’t a thug, not even remotely close to a being a thug. I mean, he was in college, for crying out loud, and not too many real thugs are in college. But I guess his college smarts, combined with his savvy, was what had planted the idea in his head that he could start pimpin’ me at those underground parties.

  As open as I was to sex and trying new things, I was pretty much down with anything. So Earl got kind of slick and eased his pimp idea on me as he reminded me how at the first party that I could of gotten myself hurt if someone had slipped a mickey into my drink.

  “Yeah, niggas be slipping shit in a bitch’s drink and the next thing you know is you wake up the next day in some hotel room or some basement somewhere groggy as hell and not even realizing that like ten dudes then ran all up in you the night before.”

  I nodded my head and took a shot of tequila as I listened to Earl speak.

  “See, what I wanna do is start taking you with me to these spots every week. I mean, it will be just like the spot that we went to in South Side but I want you to see what different spots are like.”

  I smiled and I told Earl that I was with that, just as long as he could creatively get me out of the house so that Aunt Tanisha wouldn’t start bitching about anything.

  “Let me worry about Tanisha,” Earl said. Being that Aunt Tanisha wasn’t his biological mother, he always called her by just her first name.

  “I’ll be able to get you to go but I want you to be able to enjoy it more when you go. Like last time you had that old dude harassing you and all of that. That shouldn’t have went down and the reason that it did is because I wasn’t clear at the door with everybody that you was with me. So from now on all I gotta do is pay the tip in to get you in and let niggas know that you rocking with me and everything will be all good.”

  I took another shot of tequila and told Earl again that I was with it just as long as he could get me out of the house.

  “And what will happen is if niggas wanna holla at you I’ll be right there with you and they can pay me so that you don’t got to worry about collecting money and all of that. You can just go do your thing and have a good time. Or if you wanna drink you can just tell me and I’ll get it for you. You think you can be down with that?”

  “Of course,” I said to Earl, not realizing how naive I was being and just what exactly what I was agreeing to.

  See, the thing was, I had realized something after that first night at the first sex party that I had gone to. And that was that the pattern that Joyce introduced me to—the pattern of sex for money—and it was still in full effect. Like that first night, for example, I had grossed 150 dollars in no time and walked away with 120 dollars and I didn’t really have to do much for it.

  So with Earl asking me to start going with him on a regular basis, I was definitely with it because I knew that I was gonna be making money doing something that I would do for free and something that I liked doing, which was having sex. And with the money, I knew that I would be able to stay up on the latest gear without having to ask my father or my aunt to take me shopping. I mean, my father had the money, and my Aunt Tanisha’s husband owned a successful publishing company so even with her it wasn’t like taking me shopping would have been an issue. It was just that I wanted to be able to do for myself. And I guess that do-for-myself mentality was always in the back of my head because in the back of my head I always felt like I would end up being abandoned by everybody, so I never wanted to be too dependent on anybody for anything as far as I could help it.

  So sure enough, two weeks after Earl told me that he would start taking me with him to the sex parties, he followed through on his promise. He even bought me some real provocative shorts and tight T-shirts and clear high heels that he had me change into when we reached the sex party.

  Maybe it was my tight, youthful body, or it was my ass that was hanging out of the shorts, but as soon as I had changed into the outfit that Earl had bought for me, guys were attracted to me like bees attracted to honey.

  Thankfully, I did have Earl there to play gatekeeper for me and he regulated all of the different guys that I either fucked, gave blow jobs to, or gave lap dances to.

  Thing was, I enjoyed every minute of the attention. I also enjoyed the sex but I have to admit that some of the derelict-looking guys I didn’t enjoy too much, and I had to put up some kind of boundaries, so with those types of dudes I would only get twenty dollars from them for giving lap dances; I wouldn’t go any farther with them.

  After my first night I was hyped like hell because I had actually gone through the entire process and being that the party took place all the way up in the Bronx, I felt good about not having to be labeled a ho by anybody that I knew because I didn’t know anybody from the Bronx. I was also hyped because I knew that I had made like 600 dollars that first night with Earl serving as my gatekeeper, or so I thought.

  The next day, though, Earl ended up only giving me 100 dollars and I flipped!

  “Earl, stop fucking playing with me and give me my money!”

  “Yo, you gotta understand that I got shit that I gotta pay and shit that I’m taking care of!” Earl responded. He tried to holler back at the same level that I was hollering but he kept his voice down out of fear of alerting my Aunt Tanisha, who was upstairs in the kitchen at the time.

  “Earl, for real, stop playing wit
h me,” I barked.

  “Shayla, I bought your shit for you to wear and I’m the one that introduced you to the shit and you saying that I can’t take my cut?”

  “Earl, stop playing stupid. I made over six hundred dollars and that cheap-ass shit you bought me from off of Jamaica Avenue you know it ain’t cost you more than fifty dollars. So how is your cut like five hundred dollars and mines is only a hundred?”

  Earl looked at me and twisted his lips and just basically ignored me and walked away and went into his room and closed the door. He dissed me basically. And when he did that that same rage that I had when I beat Sonia’s ass that day in the lunchroom, it returned and my temper kicked in.

  One thing about me that I hate is that when my temper kicks in I don’t give a shit about anything or anybody and I completely just lose it. And that is exactly what happened when I saw Earl close his door on me like that.

  I charged the door and didn’t even bother to turn the doorknob. Instead I just kicked it open.

  “Earl, I’m not fucking stupid. Give me my money,” I screamed at him.

  “Bitch, is you crazy?”

  “I ain’t no bitch, now give me my money, Earl!”

  “Yeah, you ain’t a bitch! Ho, is you crazy?” he said as he slapped me and grabbed me and threw me on the bed.

  “Keep your fucking voice down before Tanisha comes down here,” Earl screamed at me.

  “Don’t be hitting me and I ain’t no ho!” I screamed at him. I felt like being called a ho was the worst thing that anybody could do or say to me and that just intensified my anger and I got up off the bed and went straight at Earl and threw a right-hand punch at his face. The punch didn’t land flush on his face but the ring that I was wearing managed to graze Earl on his cheek and it cut him clean across his face.

  “Ah shit!” Earl winced in pain as he grabbed his cheek.

  I kept throwing blows at him as fast as I could and I hoped that all of them were landing, but I couldn’t tell for sure because my eyes were closed. And I guess it was a good thing that my eyes were closed because about ten seconds later I felt something knock me upside my head and I went straight to the ground and all I heard was this ringing sound coming from my ears and my head was stinging.