Echo (The Butterfly Series Book 3)

by Isabella Redwood

  ‘No, they are all asleep for the winter,’ I reassured, snuggling him close as the wind whipped up all around us.

  We hiked to my favourite spot and laid the blanket down on the field that would be covered in wildflowers in just a few months. Nicholi served us all as I watched my son at our first picnic since he was a baby.

  ‘You know, you used to love squishing peanut butter and jelly around in your hands and then mushing them all over your face,’ I laughed, watching him eat his sandwiches.

  ‘Did you see me when I was a baby?’ JC asked, puzzled and I turned to Nicholi who was encouraging me without words.

  ‘Yes, JC, I did. I’m your momma,’ I began, watching his face closely and feeling the ebb and flow of our lives. Snatched away brutally and now reunited in a thousand pieces that we had to put together again.

  ‘My real momma?’ He asked and I moved closer to him.

  ‘This is you in my belly and this is our first picture together when you were born,’ I explained, scrolling through all the ones I had on my phone as he laughed and giggled at the various pictures along the way.

  ‘Why did you leave?’ I looked at Nicholi, wanting to explain, yet not.

  ‘She never left you, JC, she always wanted to be with you, but we had to wait until it was time for her to come back to us.’

  I felt the tears once again streaming down my face.

  ‘You won’t leave again?’ JC asked, and I pulled him into my arms.

  ‘Never.’ Choking on the tears, we all hugged each other, a family finally.

  ‘Is he asleep?’ Nicholi whispered, stood waiting outside JC’s room for me looking dreamier than ever with his hair all tousled and eyes dancing.

  ‘Yes. I think it will be some time before he truly accepts I am here to stay, but I think each day will make it a little better.’ Trying to convince myself as much as him.

  ‘Come, I want to show you something,’ he urged, grabbing my hand and pulling me downstairs. ‘Now this is the reason to live here,’ he marvelled as we watched shooting star after shooting star soar across the sky. That and it is a decent enough house,’ he grinned and we laughed for the first time properly together since I had returned.

  ‘Day by day, right?’ I questioned, drowning in his eyes and the longing that ached whenever he was not close.

  ‘For sure.’ He kissed me gently until we were once again losing ourselves in each other.

  ‘I wish I could lay down next to you and watch you sleep, but I can’t be trusted whenever you are around.’ He kissed my neck and I agreed wholeheartedly.

  I lay alone in bed and imagined the endless possibilities that were ahead of us. Nicholi was right, this was a magical place and we were living it, one day at a time.

  **

  SIX

  THE WEB WE WEAVE

  Having nursed Alexa and Daisy I settled them into their fish tanks, covering them gently with the crocheted blankets I had made for them. The pale pink and purple with little roses on complemented their colouring so well, my heart filled with joy at the realisation that they were mine and we were all safe.

  ‘Grabbed you the last brownie from the cafeteria. Don’t tell room 220,’ Cross teased, winking as he kissed me on the cheek and gave me the delicious goodness, jam packed into a calorie-laden bar.

  ‘This is not going to help get my pre-pregnancy body back,’ I mused, taking a bite and savouring it. The hospital food, on the whole, had been an experience, but this was one of the few things I could eat without wondering if someone had already tried.

  ‘I still cannot believe they are mine.’ Cross stared at the babies, his eyes exuding love for his two precious daughters as I lay in the bed.

  ‘What did Nicholi say?’ I almost whispered, just the thought alone of the hurt and betrayal he must have been feeling too much to bear.

  ‘It is a shock for us all, Sophia, but I know in time we can all get past this. We have been through too much already.’ He reached to take my hand in his.

  ‘I never meant to lie to him. I was so mixed up. All the memories flooding back from that night with Nicholi saying he was there and thinking I was Lexi. It just got all twisted in my head and I…’

  Cross’s phone went off.

  ‘It is Nicholi. You have received a subpoena to give evidence in the trial.’ Reading the text message and frowning in disgust. ‘As if you haven’t been through enough.’

  I recalled the three-hour interview I had endured with the police.

  ‘I would be lying if I said I am okay with it, but if it gets her locked away for good, I have to.’ My tone forceful as I recoiled with the expression on Cross’s face. ‘Sorry, I know it must be so hard with her being your mother and all.’ I took his hand and kissing it, longed for this to be over.

  ‘After everything she has put you through, Lexi, your family, I hope she gets the death penalty,’ he confirmed, vehemently and I urged her to come sit with me on the bed, just wanting to be in his arms.

  ‘I have been thinking about the first night we shared together and trying to piece it all together. I remember everything now. I am so sorry. You must have been so confused.’

  Reminiscing, the images so vivid now, I cannot believe I blocked it all out.

  **

  ‘I’m sorry, Sophia, I can’t do this.’ Cross pulled the covers back and swung his legs over the side of the bed, perching as though he was about to jump into a precipice.

  ‘Please, I just want to be with you.’ I touched his shoulder gently as he turned round to face me.

  ‘Sophia, do you have any idea how strongly I feel for you? This is too much. I will see you in the morning.’ He scooted away from my touch and closed the door behind him.

  I lay there feeling so alone and confused until I could not take it anymore. The silence was suffocating me and I needed to see him, explain. I was feeling everything he was and it was too much to bear alone. Sliding off the bed, I crept across the floor and edged his door open carefully.

  He turned to face me and in that moment I knew exactly what I was doing and exactly what I wanted.

  ‘Sophia, please don’t make this harder than it already is,’ he urged, climbing out of bed and walking over to me, his expression one of utter turmoil.

  ‘I want you so badly I cannot think straight. Please, just one night,’ I whispered, my eyes pleading with his. As though on autopilot my body reached out and pulled him closer to me, our skin tingling as we touched and I felt his breath catch.

  ‘You are so beautiful,’ his voice sensual and making every inch of me feel weightless with anticipation.

  Leaning in he kissed me gently until our bodies responded and picking me up he placed me down onto the bed in the guest room. I felt his hands caressing every inch of me followed by his mouth and I felt like I was going to internally combust, the longing so intense and so alien to me.

  ‘Are you sure?’ His voice husky as I nodded in agreement, the desire too strong, there was no going back. As he entered me, I felt for the first time the fire that raged inside me when I danced, consumed by another and we were one once more.

  We lay in each other’s arms, both speechless and turning to him, I kissed him one last time before I let sleep devour me.

  Tortured dreams haunted me that night and when I awoke the next morning in Cross’s arms, the guilt was too much to bear. Pushing it away to the recess of my mind, I could never feel this way again. It had to be forgotten.

  **

  ‘Hey, where are you?’ Cross waved his hand in front of my face as my eyes flickered and the memories poured through without restriction.

  ‘I was remembering the first night we spent together,’ I explained, snuggling next to him wrapped in his arms. ‘I have been so unfair to you and Nicholi. But I have you, he is alone.’ I wiped the tears away and held tightly onto the security I craved in Cross’s arms.

  ‘Well, Lexi and he seem to be hitting it off again pretty well when I saw them kissing at the vending machines the other
day.’ He kissed my head as I lay in his arms.

  ‘They did? Wait. What? How do you mean, again?’ I asked, puzzled. I knew they had spoken on the phone and he had sent her flowers when we were younger, but she had not mentioned anything else.

  ‘She never told you? Lexi and he were in deep. They were meeting the night we should have, though that was not the first time she had seen him,’ Cross continued and I shot upright in bed.

  ‘They met before?’ My mind was racing to try to piece the fuzzy memories together. It was so difficult as though I was swimming through lard and my head ached with the exertion.

  ‘They met at your dance audition, the one I was supposed to attend, but could not.’ I froze.

  ‘Holy, crap, the guy she was pining over from that night for months. That was Nicholi?’ I was so astounded I had never put two and two together before. ‘I can’t believe it. She has not said anything.’ The bitterness was circling through me. Not because she was involved with Nicholi, but because there was so much I did not know about her and now more than ever.

  ‘I’m sure she will tell you in time. You both have a lot to catch up on and maybe she can help fill in the blanks you have from that night,’ he suggested, moving closer to me and I felt like I was encircled in a web of deceit.

  ‘There is so much I want to change, and it begins now.’ I felt more in control than before. I needed to be strong for my kids and Cross. We needed to move on with our own lives and if that meant leaving and moving away, so be it.

  ‘Nicholi has offered us the house if we want it, but I feel like it has too many bad memories. What do you think?’ Cross shrugged, and I smiled, so relieved that we could talk openly without restriction. It was never this way with Nicholi. I always felt like I had to walk on eggshells and it was my fault. We were not meant to be.

  ‘Do you think he and Lexi are serious?’ I pondered, hoping for her sake everything worked out and for JC.

  ‘They were back then, who knows, but they looked happy together.’

  I once again felt twinges of bitterness.

  ‘Hey, stop. You are not being fair. She has not had a chance to sit down properly and talk with you. Give her time and I’m sure she will come around.’ He kissed my head as I frowned in response. All I felt was distance.

  ‘We told each other everything, well I did her, but she always had secrets. I thought at the end we had got past it, but still and even more so now, I feel so disconnected from her. I don’t know if we will ever get past it,’ I paused, on reflection, maybe I had to make the first move. ‘Do you think I should call her?’ Musing whether it would be a mistake and I would regret it painfully later.

  ‘Yes or maybe Skype?’ Cross suggested and my eyes lit up.

  ‘You are a genius.’ I reached for the computer and fired it up. Sending Lexi a text message I asked if she was free to join me online and she replied instantly with a resounding yes.

  ‘I’ll leave you two to talk,’ Cross stood, kissing me and making my heart beat overtime with the mere touch of him as he walked out to go collect some more clothing for me from the house.

  ‘Hey, how is it going there?’ I asked, tentatively. She looked positively glowing. Her hair that we had always kept the same style was so much longer now and was a halo of golden bliss around her face. Her eyes sparkled as always and she looked overjoyed.

  ‘It is going great. We told JC and he has taken the news so well,’ Lexi gushed, her eyes filling with tears, as were mine.

  ‘I’m so happy for you. We have both been so blessed with little ones; I still cannot believe they are mine and here to stay.’

  I peeked at my sleeping angels over the computer.

  ‘I can’t wait to hold them again. I miss them so much and you,’ Lexi replied, wiping the tears that had fallen away. ‘We have so much to catch up on, a girls weekend is definitely in need, with kids of course. Maybe Disney World?’

  I just stared at the person who was an extension of me in every way.

  ‘I’m so proud of you; I just wanted you to know.’ I nodded and felt my lip quiver. She had accomplished everything she had set out to do and so much more, despite what had happened to us. I had taken a different path, but we were still now in a good place, there seemed no point dwelling on what could have been.

  ‘You could open your own studio and teach my gorgeous twin nieces, heck I could even design it for you if you like. A gift from me to my favourite sister,’ she continued and part of me twisted.

  ‘I am good, but thanks for the kind gesture.’ The thought alone of dancing again still seemed such a betrayal. None of this would have happened had I not have taken my whole family to New York that day.

  ‘Well, it is an open invitation. Anytime.’

  I saw Nicholi open the bedroom door and realising it was me, quickly excuse himself.

  ‘Is he doing okay?’ I asked tentatively, of course, he wasn’t. Her expression changed a little as though mentioning him was a taboo subject.

  ‘They are both enjoying the break.’

  I could tell she was anxious to change the subject.

  ‘Lexi, Cross has told me that you and Nicholi were together before and I’m so sorry. I never knew.’ Apologising as though that would really make a difference in the grand scheme of things. She clearly was not comfortable with me mentioning him and I couldn’t blame her.

  ‘I think we all need to move on from the past and hopefully after the trial, we all can,’ she nodded with hope as much as I was. I grabbed my phone that had been flashing and read the message.

  ‘Dad wants to meet us all before the trial.’ I read out the message and watched as her expression changed to horror.

  ‘Let’s just say that is not an option,’ she bellowed, enunciating every word.

  ‘Maybe it will help with moving on. I have so many blanks from after. He could maybe fill some of them and I was hoping you could too,’ I requested, though instantly regretted it.

  ‘I will help you in any way I can, but not if he is involved,’ she replied sternly and I knew it was best to drop it.

  ‘I understand. Well, I better let you get back to your evening.’ I suddenly felt formal as though I was talking with a stranger, not my twin sister.

  ‘Okay. But anytime, call me. I am always here,’ she reassured and I felt the ice melt a little. Maybe there was hope.

  ‘Speak soon.’

  The twins both woke up for their next feed and by the time I had changed them, Cross had returned.

  ‘I got you a couple of pairs of yoga pants and a few shirts,’ he advised, showing me the selection and I smiled in response.

  ‘Did you forget underwear?’ I asked, amused, not angry as he smacked his hand onto his forehead.

  ‘Going commando is turning me on,’ he teased as he pulled me into his embrace. ‘How did it go with Lexi?’ he asked and I shook my head.

  ‘Baby steps.’ I reached to lay Daisy in her crib as the exhaustion hit.

  ‘I’m ready for bed,’ I yawned as Cross tucked me in and retired to his chair at the side of the bed.

  Falling asleep instantly, I dreamt of Lexi and Nicholi. They had just come back from their honeymoon and announced she was expecting. I woke up with tears in my eyes, so overjoyed for them and knew what I had to do. Going into the bathroom I froze as the phone was answered, not sure what to expect.

  ‘Hi, it is me,’ I began, hoping this was not another colossal mistake. ‘Hope I’m not disturbing you?’ I was drowning in the silence and my lungs were stalling in the chilly air.

  ‘No, Lexi is taking a shower. Is there something wrong?’ Nicholi asked, and I did not know how to express what I needed to say.

  ‘I’m sorry, for everything,’ I replied, biting my lip hard as I tried not to cry. He should not have to deal with my emotions, not now. I heard him audible sigh and silence resumed. I did not know whether to hang up or continue on, so I just let the silence envelop us.

  ‘I know, and so am I. For the sake of Lexi and JC, I t
hink we need to find a way to push past this. We can’t exactly ignore one another,’ he replied, a sarcastic laugh escaping his lips, but it was short lived.

  ‘I would like that.’

  He said goodnight and hung up as I sighed deeply.

  Sitting down, I held my head in my hands and tried to force the memories out. This was something I had attempted in the past and even sought professional help for, but all I was left with was pea soup thick fog and nothing more. Splashing my face with water, I brushed my teeth and headed back to bed, checking on the twins as I climbed in. Cross was flat out on the pull out chair that he looked way too big for and I longed to be released from the hospital so we could all get some decent rest.

  Curling up, I finally fell to sleep, listening to my babies breathe as dreams filled their heads and they tried to process the day’s events.

  The next morning as the doctors came to check on us all, I begged to be released and finally, they agreed we could home. Cross had buckled both the babies into the car seats and I was wheeled down to the reception area.

  ‘I cannot wait to go home.’ The excitement bubbling over as Cross started on the journey to New York. We had decided that we would go stay in his brownstone for a few days and then start to look for our own place. Just as we getting onto the highway, I received a text message from Lexi.

  ‘Cross, she has asked if we would like to join them all in Alaska.’ Not sure whether it was a wise idea, but the message had confirmed that Nicholi was fine with us coming, so I offered it up to Cross as a suggestion.

  ‘I think it would be beneficial for you to spend some quality time with Lexi and I think we should go.’ A little unsure, and I did not blame him. ‘Okay, airport it is.’

  He took the exit as I quickly checked flight availability and booked us seats.

  We had checked in the vast amount of stuff we had, stroller, pack and play, tons of clothing and I marvelled at how much two little humans needed.