by Fiona Lowe
Gabe turned to his mother. ‘So, I’ll see you in Melbourne in a month?’
She hugged him. ‘Wouldn’t miss it for anything.’
He hugged her back. ‘Thanks for everything.’
His father walked around the car and extended his hand. ‘Safe trip.’
‘Thanks, Dad.’ He returned the handshake and then hugged his father and gave him a short slap on the back.
‘Oh, is that the phone?’ His mother tilted her head toward the house as the faint sound of a bell drifted out on the afternoon air.
‘Let it go to the message bank and we’ll catch up later. ‘ James waved to the toddlers, blowing kisses.
Gabe opened the driver’s seat door and felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. As he pulled it out, the whoop-whoop of a police siren screamed across the summer air, immediately followed by the ear-splitting sound of the Tasmanian Fire Service’s alarm. Was it fire practice?
He brought the phone to one ear and put a finger in the other so he could try and hear. ‘Gabe Lewis.’
‘Gabe, it’s Sarah. Elly’s sick, she’s passed out.’
‘Did she faint?’
‘No, Gabe, it’s serious. ‘ The usually happy nurse sounded distraught. ‘She’s collapsed.’
The unexpected words penetrated, sending terror tearing through him, fuzzing his brain and scaring the hell out him. ‘Where are you?’
‘At the hospital.’
The police car pulled up behind his, the siren silenced, and the sergeant got out, beckoning Gabe with frantic hand signals.
‘I’m on my way. Stay on the line.’ He threw his car keys to his father. ‘It’s Elly. I have to go to the hospital. Please look after the kids.’
Without waiting for confirmation, he ran to the police car, nodding his thanks to the police officer, all the time with his phone pressed to his ear, trying to find the doctor deep down, beyond the fear. The police car reversed with a squeal of tyres and a screaming siren as Gabe pulled his seat belt into place.
‘Sarah, what are her vitals?’
‘She’s hypotensive and tachycardic.’
This isn’t good. ‘Run in a litre of Hartmann’s. Is she in pain?’
‘She’s mostly unconscious.’ Sarah’s voice rose in a wail. ‘I’ve called the air ambulance for evacuation but, Gabe, I’m really scared.’
Dear God, so was he. People didn’t just collapse and this wasn’t Melbourne Central with its high-tech A and E and a suite of operating rooms at the ready. ‘I’m two minutes away, Sarah.’
It was the longest two minutes of his life. He ran into A and E and Sandy, her face alarmed, grabbed his arm.
‘She collapsed with a patient and we’ve got her on a monitored bed.’
Together they ran up the main corridor and into a two-bed bay. A curtain had been pulled between the beds but nothing prepared him for what he saw. His amazing, vibrant Elly lay moaning in coma position, her face whiter than the sheets she lay on with the exception of fire-engine-red cheeks. A large fan blew air across her as an IV pumped in fluid. Her blood pressure displayed on the monitor along with her rapid heartbeat showing how desperately ill she was.
He wanted to throw himself at her, hold her tightly and never let her go, but he had to be the doctor.
‘Oh, thank God.’ Sarah greeted him. ‘She’s pyretic with a fever of forty-one Celsius and she’s in so much pain.’
He grabbed a stethoscope. ‘Give her oxygen and ten milligrams of morphine along with IV paracetamol.’ He squatted down so his head was at the same height as hers. ‘Elly, sweetheart, it’s me, Gabe.’ He touched her arm and her eyes flickered open for a moment and stared at him unfocused and vacant. ‘Elly, can you hear me?’
But she didn’t speak and her eyes fluttered closed.
Panic morphed from simmer to full boil. He rolled her onto her back and palpated her abdomen. It was like pressing into solid wood. He listened for bowel sounds but there were none, and with her symptoms, septic shock was a big possibility. He’d stake his life on peritonitis but he had no clue to the cause, which could be any number of things from a ruptured appendix to a bowel obstruction.
An ultrasound would tell him but knowing wouldn’t solve anything because Elly needed surgery. Now. But he wasn’t a surgeon and even if he was, Midden Cove didn’t have an anaesthetist. They might only be a short flight from Hobart but it might as well be a million miles when she needed intervention ten minutes ago.
Ectopic pregnancy. The thought rocked through him so hard that he found it difficult to breathe. No, they’d used contraception. But the doctor in him knew even in the most skilled hands, contraception could fail.
Elly and his baby.
Their child.
His heart cramped and a cry strangled in his tight throat. God, how selfish had he been to think he didn’t want another child; his and Elly’s.
The monitor started beeping wildly as Elly’s pulse tore up to dangerous levels. ‘I’m starting her on broad-spectrum antibiotics.’ He pulled open the drug cart, his fingers fumbling with the vials. He was an emergency physician but even with all his experience and expertise he was virtually impotent to save the woman he loved.
I love her.
He waited for the gasping shock, the pain that always came when he’d thought about loving her in the past, but it didn’t come. What came instead was soul-destroying reality; the vivid pitch-black image of what his life would be without her in it.
God, he’d been such a bloody idiot. A fool of the first degree.
‘How long until the air ambulance arrives?’
‘I’ll check the ETA.’ Sandy ran for a phone.
The monitor beeped insistently. ‘Pressure’s dropping, Gabe.’
She could die.
No! He wouldn’t let her; he’d move heaven and earth to keep her alive. Elly was the missing piece of himself and he’d fight to the death to have the chance to tell her how much he loved her. He’d show her how wrong he’d been, try to make it up to her and somehow redeem himself in her eyes, even if she never wanted to have anything to do with him again. He ripped open a cannula and tightened a tourniquet around her arm. ‘We need plasma expander and where the hell is that helicopter?’
An air-horn blasted outside.
‘It’s here.’ Sandy raced back in, quick releasing the wheel brakes so they could manoeuvre the bed to the ambulance bay.
As he prepared to evacuate, Gabe leaned down and kissed Elly’s fire-hot forehead. ‘I love you, El. I know I don’t deserve you, but keep fighting, sweetheart. Please. Keep fighting.’
CHAPTER TWELVE
ELLY opened her eyes to flowers. More flowers than one person deserved, and they covered the small shelf designed for such arrangements, her bedside table, her over-bed table, and three baskets were on the floor. It seemed every time she closed her eyes for a nap, more arrived. She picked up some cards and tried reading them but when she saw James and Cathleen’s names on the fourth one, the rest slipped from her fingers. She stared out the ward window, hoping to see something, anything that would empty her mind of anyone with the surname Lewis.
Bright blue sky shimmered through the glass and that was all she could see from her third-floor bed. She turned away because the colour instantly reminded her of Gabe’s eyes. Why did the Lewis family seem to surround her when she wanted only to forget?
Gabe was with you. She had vague memories of Gabe last night, calling out orders and holding her hand in the helicopter, but she hadn’t seen him this morning because he’d probably returned to Midden Cove and the triplets. Or Melbourne.
But she refused to think about that.
She had, however, seen the surgeon who operated on her last night and his bland and uncompromising words had scarred her heart with thick pockmarks that would never fade. He’d saved her life but at what cost? But she didn’t want to think about that either so she closed her eyes and retreated to the fuzzy post-anaesthetic place that let her sleep and pretend everything she held dear
hadn’t been stolen from her.
She heard footsteps and opened one eye to see a nurse checking her IV.
‘How are you doing?’ The nurse, whose name badge said ‘Carolyn’, had a caring smile and she pulled up a chair. ‘It’s a lot to process, isn’t it? If you have any more questions we can get Mr Ross back to explain it again. You just say the word.’
The thought of hearing the surgeon’s sonorous voice issuing his brutal verdict again was more than she could bear. ‘I don’t think that will be necessary.’
‘OK, but if you change your mind just ask. Meanwhile, I have a message for you.’ She pulled a note out of her pocket. ‘Sarah says you’re never to scare her like that again and you’re not to worry about anything because they’ve got a doctor and everything’s under control.’
Elly wondered who. ‘Is it Dr Lewis?’
‘No, because I’m here.’
Gabe’s deep, rich voice filled the room and he strode in, wearing the royal-blue shirt that always made him look indecently handsome. A shirt that made her knees go weak and one she’d pulled off him in a frenzy of lust every time he’d worn it.
The memory sent a streak of longing through her and her heart hiccoughed, but she hardened it with steel. He doesn’t love you, remember.
Carolyn gave him a winning smile. ‘Good to see you again, Gabe.’
Gabe?
Carolyn stood up. ‘Did you get that information you were after?’
He returned her smile and waved a tube of papers scrolled up with an elastic band. ‘I did. Thanks so much for your help.’
‘No problem.’ She turned back to Elly and adjusted the buzzer. ‘Ring if you need anything and I’ll be back in a bit with your antibiotics.’
Part of Elly wanted the nurse to stay but the other part wanted to get Gabe’s obligatory visit and farewell out of the way.
He sat down next to her, the lines around his eyes even deeper than they’d been when he’d first arrived in Midden Cove. He banged the scroll of papers on his knee in a nervous tattoo. ‘Hey.’
‘Hey.’
Strained silence circled them, reminding her of how much things had changed between them.
‘Where are the trip—?’
‘How are you feel—?’
They spoke at the same time, their words colliding, tight with tension.
She had no energy to do this. ‘You go first.’
He looked unsure but a moment later said, ‘The triplets are with Mum and Dad so they’re fine and the spoiling continues a little longer. But it’s you I’m worried about. Hell, Elly, you gave us a fright.’
‘Sorry.’ She had no idea why she was apologising but he looked so bereft that it had just slipped out. ‘I thought I’d just pulled a muscle or strained a ligament.’
He looked at her in wonder. ‘You must have an unbelievable pain threshold.’
She felt tears prickling her eyes but she refused to cry in front of him. ‘I wish I hadn’t. If I’d done something earlier I might still …’ She stopped speaking as her voice started to wobble and she could feel herself losing control.
He picked up her hand and gave it a squeeze. ‘Shh, it’s OK.’
She stared at him incredulously. ‘I’m not one of the triplets, Gabe. I can’t be consoled with a bit of a pat and a “there, there”. It’s not OK. It’s so, so far from being OK but of course you’d think that! ‘ Her chest tightened, her throat started to close and she tugged her hand out of his. ‘I don’t understand why you’re here. Thank you for everything you did last night but you’re off the hook, Gabe. You’re free to leave and go back to Melbourne.’
His face blanched and abject sadness crawled through his eyes. ‘Elly, I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant at all. Of course what happened is not OK but.’ He ran his hand through his hair. ‘God, I’m making a complete hash of this so I’ll just say it. I love you, Elly.’ His voice dropped even deeper. ‘I’ve been a complete moron and I’m so sorry it took almost losing you to make me realise that I’ve always loved you.’
She stared at him completely speechless and he kept talking as if now he’d started he couldn’t stop.
‘But the love I feel for you now is so very different from what I felt when I first met you that I didn’t recognise it as love. I’m sorry, I should have known because this love, Elly, it’s bone deep. It’s as much a part of me as my own skin.’
Her head pounded, her belly ached and his words fell like heavy stones against her battered and bruised heart. ‘You love me? ‘ She couldn’t hide the incredulity in her voice.
He leaned in close, his eyes filled with adoration and a goofy smile on his lips. ‘I love you. You’re my soul mate, my missing half, and life without you would be too hard to contemplate.’
Her heart lurched in her chest but she clamped down on it hard. Gabe was saying everything she’d longed to hear and more, but today it was far too easy for him to confess to loving her. ‘Isn’t this declaration just a bit too convenient?’
His expression became wary. ‘I don’t understand.’
Her fingers fiddled with the top sheet. ‘You love me now, today; the day I found out that I’ve lost an ovary and a fallopian tube to a chocolate cyst, and my other tube is so badly scarred with adhesions from having undiagnosed endometriosis that I’m technically infertile. You know that, right?’
He nodded wordlessly.
Her heart twisted in her chest and she wanted so badly to hurt him like she was hurting. She wanted to send him away and a bitter laugh exploded from her throat. ‘The man who doesn’t want any more children just got a gift.’
But he didn’t push his chair back and storm out. Instead, he sat perfectly still, silently staring at her as if he couldn’t get his fill. Then he laid his hands on the bed, palms up. ‘I deserved that. You’re right, I was so wrong and I’m desperately sorry. I was selfish and so caught up in how us having children would impact on me I couldn’t see your point of view at all. But I get it now. You’re right, our child would complete our family and you deserve to have our child. I want us to have that experience.’
Somehow she held herself together. ‘It’s all a bit late, Gabe, and they’re easy words to speak when the chance of me getting pregnant now is so remote.’
He unrolled the sheaf of papers from his pocket and she caught the logo of Melbourne IVF. ‘Elly, if you’ll forgive me, take me back and marry me, then as soon as you’re fit again I’ll do everything I can, explore every option we have to get us pregnant with our baby.’
Her gaze flickered between the information sheets and his face, as her fuzzy brain tried to work out what this all meant. Could she really believe him? Finally, she rested her gaze on him, forcing herself to really look at him, but not through her veil of hurt but with new and fresh eyes. She saw vivid blue depths filled with remorse, contrition, hope and love.
He loves you.
This is him showing you how much he loves you.
He was offering her IVF, which was not an easy road to travel and came with no promises and a likelihood of heartache. Oh, my God, he really did love her. He had been speaking the truth when he’d said he wanted her to have their child, the one she’d longed to have for so long.
She ran her finger across the words in vitro fertilisation and took in a deep breath. ‘You realise that twins are a very strong possibility with IVF.’
‘So we’ll buy a people mover and a big house in a leafy suburb.’ He shrugged. ‘If we have twins there’s a certain rightness to that because before this all happened you probably would have had them anyway.’
She bit her lip against the wave of happiness that was swelling inside her despite herself, and she fought to ask the hard questions. ‘Gabe, this means hormone injections, me probably being grumpy, uncertainty, heartache and you having to deposit semen in a jar.’
He grinned at her, his eyes bright, and he winked. ‘Perhaps you can help with that.’
She laughed and immediately regretted it as pain from her sur
gery shot through her, but she didn’t care. Gabe loved her. Gabe truly loved her.
He rested his head against hers. ‘Elly, I love you more than I can say.’
She rested her palm against his stubbled cheek. ‘I love you too, Gabe. You, Rory, Lucy and Ben, and I’ve been miserable without you.’
‘So have I.’ He tucked the unruly strands of hair behind her ear. ‘Will you marry me?’
This time she heard the distinction, this time she heard the love. ‘I will.’
He tilted her chin with his finger and gazed into her eyes. ‘I promise you, El, I’ll listen. Compromise can be our motto.’
He looked so earnest and his eyes glowed brightly with his love for her. She wanted to hold him close and hug him tight but her tender belly disagreed so she moved her mouth to his instead and kissed him, sealing herself to him for ever. And he kissed her back.
EPILOGUE
SUMMER holidays meant long, lazy days at Midden Cove for the Lewis family, and this year was no exception. Elly finished setting the long table in preparation for the feast that James and Cathleen were preparing in her kitchen, and then she stepped outside and rang the old ship’s bell on the large deck.
Gazing out toward the beach, she smiled as she watched Gabe and the children make their way back to the house. The triplets, now six, raced up the dunes lead by Rory with Lucy fast on his heels. Ben happily strolled behind his siblings and Gabe followed with Katie on his shoulders. As he reached the top of the dune he stopped and waved, a broad smile splitting his handsome face.
Her heart rolled over and she waved back, loving the man and marvelling that with every passing year it was possible to love him even more. His face wore a few more lines on it than it had five years ago but that only made him even sexier than before in a rugged kind of way. They’d weathered some tough times but they’d done it together and Katie was an unexpected and special gift they’d almost given up on.
‘Mum, Ben found a seal ribcage on the beach and it still had some of its skin!’ Rory panted out the news as his sandy feet hit the bottom step of the deck.
