by Aj Estelliam
I waited, with baited breath.
‘Hello? Can I speak to Mr or Mrs Winters, please?’
‘Yes, this is Alison Winters,’ the woman responded.
I could hear her clearly as the office was quiet.
‘Hello. My name is Officer Jess Love and I work as part of Scotland Yard in the local division.’
‘You’ve found Jimmy?’ she asked quietly.
Jess paused. ‘I’m very sorry to inform you of this, Mrs Winters, but today we recovered bones from the forest which we have positively identified as Jimmy.’
‘Oh, my goodness,’ she exclaimed.
‘It appears he was the victim of a murder and buried in a shallow grave near Hunters Forest.’
‘No! Near the old scout hut?’
‘That’s right,’ Jess confirmed.
‘He was nearby all along?’
‘He was,’ she replied.
‘Can I come in? Can I see his remains?’
‘I…you can do as you wish, Mrs Winters. Whatever is best for you and your grief dealing with this.’
‘I’ve been without my son for more than twenty years, Officer Love. I want to be reunited with him, no matter how hard that is.’
‘Of course. You’re welcome to come in as soon as you wish.’
‘Now?’ she questioned.
‘Of course. Just ask for me. I’ll be here.’
‘Thank you, Officer Love. I’ll collect my husband from work and we’ll be there soon.’
‘I’ll see you soon then,’ Jess replied.
They both hung up after saying goodbye.
When Jess replaced the phone, she looked up at me.
‘Would you want to see your dead child’s bones?’ she asked.
I thought for a moment. ‘I think I would, yes. If you’d lost a part of you…someone you loved so dearly, don’t you think the chance to be back with them would be so great-even if it was just with bones?’
She held my eyes. ‘Can you stay with me when they come?’
‘Of course…’
‘And when we visit the morgue?’
I nodded, tearing up.
‘You’ll need to hold it together.’
‘I will.’
‘And not be inappropriate…’
‘Me? Inappropriate?’ I laughed, swiping at my tears which fell. ‘I’ll try,’ I said, becoming more serious. ‘Are you going to phone the other parents now?’
She nodded, swallowing visibly. ‘I was just working my way up to it…’
‘Just get it done. That would be my advice.’
‘Okay…’ she took a deep breath and lifted the phone once again. This time it rang a long time. When it was answered, the voice on the other end sounded flat.
‘Hello?’
‘Oh hello. Can I speak to Mr or Mrs Wilson please?’
‘This is Mrs Wilson. My husband is dead,’ she said bluntly.
‘Oh, my apologies, Mrs Wilson…’
‘Who is this?’ she said snappily, cutting her off.
‘My name is Officer Jess Love. I work at Scotland Yard in the local division. I have some news about your son.’
The woman gasped. ‘Simon?’
‘Yes, Mrs Wilson. I’m sorry to inform you that we’ve found skeletal remains in the local forest-at Hunters Lodge. We believe we have identified the remains as Simon.’
The end of the line went dead for a long moment. ‘Simon?’
‘Yes. Are you okay, Mrs Wilson? Do you need us to send support to you?’
‘I never thought you’d find him,’ she whispered. ‘I thought I’d die before I knew…he was killed, wasn’t he? Murdered?’
‘Yes, we believe so,’ Jess told her.
‘I want to see him. I’m disabled…wheelchair bound…can you send someone to help me come in. I’d like to see what you found-see where he was found! I can’t actually believe this. I thought I’d die before knowing-just like my husband did.’
‘I can send police to help you come in at any time that is convenient to you, Mrs Wilson. Name the time and we’ll be there.’
‘As soon as possible,’ she told her.
I listened as Jess made arrangements with Simon’s mother and wandered over to sit on the sofa. I couldn’t imagine having a child be there one minute and then gone the next, let alone dealing with twenty years of not knowing what happened to them. The not knowing, I imagined, was almost worse than not knowing at all.
When Jess hung up, she looked over at me. ‘Thank goodness that bit is done.’
I gave her a sympathetic look. ‘Yes…we still have to see them this afternoon though.’
She nodded. ‘I know,’ she said, then frowned. ‘Did you get anything more on Billy?’
‘No,’ I frowned. ‘I mean, I know now that he’s still alive and although he’s in pain, he’s actually alright. How long he stays that way is another matter though.’
‘Exactly.’
‘I will keep focussing on him,’ I promised. ‘I’m not going to give up on finding him.’
‘No…’
‘Jess?’
She looked up at me.
‘You know he stopped after Simon and then recently started killing again?’
‘Yes?’
‘I think there was a real reason for that,’ I revealed.
‘Oh yes? What have you seen?’
‘I’ve seen an insight into his life. I’ve seen a domineering mother who controlled him and abused him in early life. I feel like something happened involving her and it stopped him from continuing after Simon.’
‘So why has he started again recently?’ she questioned.
‘That’s the question we need to figure out.’
‘It definitely involves his mother…’
‘Maybe she died?’ Jess suggested.
‘I considered that too. I think that could be it, but I’m sure there’s a bit more to it than that.’
‘Like what?’ she asked.
‘I don’t know, but I’ll tell you when I’ve figured it out myself,’ I promised.
A knock at the door signalled our conversation was over. Officer Jenkins addressed Jess.
‘Excuse me, JJ-the Winter’s family are here.’
‘Okay…show them in, Jenkins. Thank you.’
I watched as Jess stood and straightened her suit. I cleared my throat and turned to the door.
Chapter 16
‘Please come in,’ Jess welcomed as the couple walked in, looking nervous.
‘Thank you,’ Alison Winters said. ‘This is my husband, Bill,’ she introduced him.
‘Nice to meet you,’ Jess said politely.
I fell silent at the back of the room and swallowed hard as I faced them.
‘This is Alex Hope. She works here with us and is involved in research and consultancy,’ Jess said vaguely.
‘Nice to meet you,’ I said politely to both, and shook each hand offered.
We all sat down together on the sofa and chairs, yet I was distracted and my lack of wanting to be ‘inappropriate’ was stopping me from sharing why.
At his mother’s side stood Jimmy, and he was smiling at me. He knew I could see him and he was telling me how happy he was now that he’d been found. He knew what a difference it would make to his parents’ lives and that made him content, and able to rest easier in his world beyond Earth. I nodded his way and told him mentally to stay quiet until the right moment. He seemed to understand and looked to his parents as they spoke.
‘How did you find him then?’ Alison wanted to know.
‘Well, it’s a strange set of circumstances actually,’ Jess began, shifting in her seat uncomfortably.
‘Really?’ she questioned.
‘Uh yes…we actually have a psychic who works with our task force and she led us to the graves.’
‘Graves? Multiple?’ Bill asked.
‘Yes,’ she nodded. ‘We found your son, Jimmy and we also found Simon Wilson.’
‘No!’ Alison gasped. ‘So, it
was the same criminal who murdered both of our sons?’ she questioned.
‘We’re trying to decipher that now but yes…it looks that way. The crimes were the same, the burials identical.’
‘And have you determined how he killed our son?’ Bill asked gravely.
Jess met his eyes and I saw her deliberate over the answer. She decided to go with honestly. ‘I’m afraid so, sir. It was with an axe.’
Alison gasped and tears immediately sprang to her eyes. ‘An axe! Oh, good heavens!’
‘Is there anything else we should know?’ Bill asked, looking disturbed.
‘There is, sir, yes-but I want you to prepare yourself. The details are upsetting.’
‘With respect, Officer Love-we’ve spent twenty years waiting to find out what happened to Jimmy. We’ve been over every possibility under the sun. it can’t be worse than everything I’ve imagined-was he raped? Defiled? Burned? Decapitated? Shot?’ he asked.
Jess swallowed. ‘He was cut up,’ she informed them quietly.
Alison and Bill stared at Jess soundlessly, both taking the information in and digesting it in their separate ways of coping. Bill felt intense anger in those moments but for Alison, it was only sheer grief and upset.
‘His bones have been cut and we believe he used an axe to cut him into parts before burying him.’
‘Sick fuck,’ Bill whispered harshly.
‘Bill!’ Alison scolded, but I could hear in her own mind that her thoughts followed the same thread. ‘Can we see him now?’ she asked.
‘If you feel you’re ready?’
‘I am,’ she said, resolutely. ‘Can you take us now?’
Jess nodded. ‘Of course.’
We made our way down the lift and into the morgue where the team had prepared Jimmy’s bones ready for his parent’s arrival. The bones had been rearranged back into the human skeleton form and laid out on a viewing table used to identify victims.
Jess led us to the table which was covered with a white sheet and we all stood in the little room quietly.
‘Are you ready?’ she asked.
‘Yes,’ Alison answered for both of them.
Jess uncovered Jimmy’s skeleton with reverence. I watched on from aside as both parents wept and held each other. Alison laid her hand on Jimmy’s skull and stroked it as if he were still there. I looked down at the little boy beside me and knew it was time.
‘Tell her that’s not me anymore,’ he requested.
I looked at him with wide eyes and wondered whether it was right of me to step in.
‘Go on…please?’ he asked, as his eyes held mine with wide alertness.
‘Excuse me?’ I said, stepping forward.
The couple turned and looked at me. It was the first time I had really spoken to them and their mirrored confusion was apparent in their thinking.
‘Come and take a seat,’ I offered, indicating the chairs.
They did as I asked which made me relieved. I then bent onto my knees and sat before them.
‘My name is Alex; and I was the one who found Jimmy,’ I began.
Alison stared at me, surprised. ‘You’re the psychic?’
I nodded. ‘Yes, although I don’t exactly think of myself like that…I had an accident and since hitting my head, I’ve heard and seen things that I never did before. I’m able to hear thoughts and because of that, I’ve worked with the police to help find out who is the criminal in some big cases.’
‘So, this ability led you to finding our son?’
‘Yes, it did…I can see the mind of the killer and it led me to the graves of Jimmy and Simon. It led me to understanding why he was doing it and his motives.’
They both stared at me dumbfounded.
‘The reason I’m telling you all this; and probably upsetting my boss,’ I said, with a sneaked glance towards Jess, ‘is that Jimmy is here and wants to talk to you. Since you walked in the room, he’s been standing watching, and he wants to talk to you.’
Bill’s face grew thunderous, ‘What kind of fools do you take us for?’ he demanded.
‘No, wait Bill! Let her speak! I want to hear what she wants to tell us.’
‘It’s not what I want to tell you,’ I told her quietly. ‘It’s Jimmy…’ I murmured, my voice quietly.
I glanced to my side where Jimmy was talking to me in soft tones. He explained that they would find it difficult to believe but that if I sang a song, they would know he was really there. I turned back and copied the little ditty he sang to me.
Looking directly into their eyes, I opened my mouth. ‘Alice the camel has one hump, Alice the camel has one hump, Alice the camel has one hump, so go Alice go! Boom, boom boom. Alice the camel has…no humps, Alice the camel has…no humps, Alice the camel has…no humps, so Alice is a horse!’ I finished and laughed, just as Jimmy was laughing beside me. I looked over at him and grinned. ‘That’s a good one.’
‘I know. Mummy used to sing it to me every night at bedtime.’
I looked at Alison. ‘He says you used to sing it every night at bedtime. It made him giggle and you’d both laugh so much.’
Tears had sprung to her eyes and she laughed, clasping her hand to her mouth. ‘We did!’
‘He says you touch your necklace with the baby hair all the time…and it lets him know you’re thinking of him.’
She nodded, tearfully, her control beginning to break.
‘He’s fine, Alison. He says he is happy…he feels no pain; no suffering and his world is full and bright. He lives beyond our world and knows you don’t live in happiness. He doesn’t want you to take your own life, like you’ve thought about. He wants you to move on now and enjoy the rest of your life here on Earth. Now he’s been found, he thinks you can begin to find some kind of happiness.’
She nodded, sniffing hard. ‘Is he…is he always there?’
I looked over at him and waited. When I turned back, I spoke. ‘He comes and goes…he’s there when you need him. He lingers back and forth.’
She nodded, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. ‘I don’t want him stuck here if he’s happy in his life beyond here.’
‘But that’s what holds him here sometimes, Alison. It’s you…and your husband. He just wants you to know he’s okay, and not to worry. He’s fine. His grin is huge as he stands here today. He’s so happy he’s been found so that this can all be finally wrapped up.’
She sniffled sadly. ‘What does he look like?’
I looked at him. ‘He looks just like the photos I saw from back when he first went missing…’
‘So, he hasn’t aged?’
‘No. He’s still young. He wears jeans and a knitted sweater with a blue t-shirt hanging out at the bottom. His hair is ruffled with a distinct cow-lick on the front right,’ I told her looking at him. ‘When he smiles, his teeth are crooked. He has one front tooth through, and the other is missing. He was clearly going through tooth changes back then, right?’ I smiled, looking at the adorable little boy who was goofing at me now, showing me his funny teeth.
‘He was,’ she chuckled. ‘Oh, my goodness, I can’t believe this…’
I looked at Bill who was quiet and sad. ‘He forgives you, Bill…’ I then said quietly.
Tears filled his eyes and he swiped at them. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’
‘Yes, you do,’ I nodded. ‘The guilt you’ve felt for years…because you stayed at work rather than pick him up that day. One phone call to the school changed the course of your life and you’ve blamed yourself ever since.’
‘I was so busy…I just…’
‘You called and said he had permission to walk home himself that day, didn’t you?’
He nodded, crying now.
‘And you’ve never forgiven yourself for that.’
‘What matters most in this world?’ he cried. ‘It’s certainly not work…’
‘No, you’re right-but he doesn’t blame you for it, Bill. He doesn’t believe it was your fault…’
/> ‘But if I had been there to pick him up, this wouldn’t have happened.’
‘Maybe not that day, but I believe Jimmy was targeted by this boy. It would have happened I believe whether you were there that day or not.’
Bill cried. ‘He doesn’t blame me?’
‘No,’ I said emotionally, tears filling my own eyes now. ‘You’re his Da Da,’ he says. ‘He loves you and says remember the bear hugs…and the…nunnel?’ I said, questioningly.
Bill’s eye grew wide and he stared at me. ‘Nunnel?’
‘Yes. I don’t know what that means…’
‘I do,’ he said, wiping his eyes, as his wife comforted him. ‘We used to cover ourselves in a blanket and play a game called ‘tunnels.’ He was little so couldn’t say the word…the game became ‘nunnels.’
I nodded my understanding and smiled at the beaming boy.
‘Thank you,’ Bill said, reaching for my hand.
‘You’re very welcome. I couldn’t not tell you what I was seeing today. Jimmy needed to speak to you.’
They both gave me understanding looks and I felt like I had done a good thing, even if Jess deemed it to be inappropriate.
‘I have one question,’ Alison said, looking back at me.
‘Yes?’
‘You said ‘boy.’
I frowned.
‘When describing who did this to our Jimmy…you said ‘boy.’
I nodded sadly. ‘I’m still figuring out who he is, but at the time of the murder, he was a boy…not much older than Jimmy himself.’
They both stared.
‘I know…it’s unimaginable. Did Jimmy have any friends who could be mean? Or who you worried about?’
The looked at each other with mirrored confusion.
‘I don’t think so,’ Alison said slowly. ‘There was no-one that worried me.’
‘Did he know anyone nicknamed DJ?’ I asked.
Again, there was confusion. ‘Not that I know of,’ Alison replied.
I sighed. ‘Don’t worry. I’ll find him…I just need to figure out exactly who he is and then we can put him away for his crimes.’
‘Now that I’d like to see,’ Bill murmured.
Alison nodded.
‘It’ll happen. He’s started killing again so it won’t be long before we catch him,’ I told them.
