Master of My Mind BN

by Jenna Jacob

  “Son of a bitch,” Tony murmured. “What the hell did you do? You must have been terrified.”

  “I was. At first, I fought the urge to throw up. I wanted to run out the front door and get away from him, but I was scared he’d put a bullet in my back if he even suspected I wanted to leave. So I went downstairs and grabbed a bucket and bleach. I walked into the foyer. I’d never seen a murder victim before. Matt was on the phone ordering someone to come get the body. He took one look at me with the bucket and smiled. My blood turned to ice, and I got down on my hands and knees and started cleaning the guy’s brains off the floor. At that exact moment I started making plans to get the hell out before Matt killed me next.”

  Tony didn’t say a word. He simply clutched me to his chest even tighter, anchoring me to the present… to him. I could feel the tension coiling inside him.

  “The next morning, Matt called me into his room. He was packing a suitcase and told me I was to pack one as well. He said he was taking me to Tahiti for a few days to show his appreciation for my loyalty to him. There was no way in hell I was going to leave the country with that man. So I convinced him that it would look like he was fleeing if I went with him. I’d never accompanied him on any of his trips out of the country. And if anyone came snooping around, I promised to tell them that he’d left for China instead of the islands. He agreed it was a good idea, thanked me and walked out the door. I sat in that house all day and half the night plotting. Knowing he kept a close eye on his personal checking account, I couldn’t risk withdrawing anything from the ATM and tipping my hand. So I scrounged up what money I could find. It was only a hundred and thirty-seven dollars.”

  A cynical smile tugged my lips. Talking about Matt resurrected vulnerabilities I hadn’t given thought to in years. But Tony’s fingertips fluttering up and down my arm served to contain my emotions before they had a chance to swamp me under.

  “I couldn’t fail to see the irony. There I was, surrounded by opulence, yet I could only manage to get my hands on a hundred and thirty-seven dollars. At one o’clock in the morning, I threw two outfits into a plastic bag, disengaged the alarm system, and snuck out the back door.”

  Tony released me and gazed into my eyes. “And came here… to Chicago.”

  “Yes,” I nodded. “I didn’t have enough money for a plane ticket, so I figured I’d catch a bus. I needed to find a city big enough that he couldn’t easily find me. Small towns were out of the question. Hopping the rail train from the suburbs, I finally made my way downtown to the bus terminal. I didn’t have enough money for New York or L.A., but I did for Chicago, and the bus was leaving in a matter of minutes. It seemed the safest place for me to go. Matt knew I hated snow. Chicago would be the last place he’d look for me. So I bought a ticket and got on the bus.”

  “Have you ever talked to your parents about his illegal activities?”

  “No. I haven’t talked to my dad since the day he kicked me out. My mom came to see me in the hospital after I’d lost Nathan. She told me the reason my baby died was because it was an abomination, and God was punishing for me being a whore.”

  “Your own mother said that to you?” Tony gaped.

  “Yeah,” I nodded sadly. “I looked her straight in the eye and told her to leave. Matt was there. He escorted her out of my hospital room, and I never saw her again. I remembered thinking he was my savior. I can’t believe I was so damn stupid.”

  “Don’t do that to yourself, sweetheart. He was a family friend. You were young. There was no reason to doubt he was a good guy. It takes life experience to realize that some people are trustworthy and others aren’t. They don’t walk around wearing a sign stating their good or evil. You were just an unlucky victim.”

  “No, I’ll be unlucky if he ever finds me.”

  “Where did you go…how did you survive once you got here?”

  “I was petrified. I didn’t know where to go, who to trust, or what to do. So I hopped a city bus and got off at the first church I saw. I went inside and talked to the preacher. I told him I needed help, but I couldn’t go to the police. He said not to worry then called a woman named Hilary, who came to the church. She was in her early eighties, but she was so spry and full of life. Anyway, she picked me up and took me to her little house. She fed me, showed me to a guest room, and let me take a shower. Hilary didn’t ask any questions; she just opened her heart and gave me a safe place to spend the night.”

  Tony slid his fingers into my hand and gave a little squeeze.

  “The next morning I woke up and fixed breakfast for us. We sat at her kitchen table eating and talking about survival. She told me that when she was just a baby her mother held her against her chest hiding under the stairs of their house in London during the blitz. Her older brother, father, and grandfather had been killed in separate blasts. She and her mom escaped to America, arriving with twenty-two dollars in her pocket. A family took them in until her mom found work and was able to get on her feet.”

  “So the woman spent her life paying it forward?”

  “Yes. She was an amazing person. We hit it off, and she invited me to stay. I lived with her for a couple of years, helping out with the laundry, cleaning and cooking, and she helped me in ways I’ll never forget. Even after I moved out and got an apartment, we stayed in touch. When her son sold her house and put her in a nursing home, I visited her four times a week. And when she died two years ago, I was with her, holding her hand. I miss her every day.”

  “Aww, angel. I’m sorry. The world needs more people like Hilary,” Tony smiled.

  “Yes, it does.”

  “I get it now, sweetheart,” he said softly as he placed a tender kiss on my forehead.

  “Get what?”

  “Why it’s so hard for you to trust. Everyone you’ve ever loved has either disowned you, turned out to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing, or died on you. I understand why you guard your heart. I do. I see you now in a different light. It makes sense why you fight so hard to present a tough exterior. You’re a strong, resilient, and amazing woman. Even when you try to hide those parts they still shine through. But you’re also delicate and fragile, like a baby bird, and can be broken so easily.”

  Tony brushed his palm over my cheek. Embarrassed by his praise, I shrugged.

  “Opening up and revealing that to me took guts, Leagh. Thank you for trusting me enough to share your secrets. I’ll keep you safe, sweetheart. If Matt ever tracks you down, I’ll make certain he doesn’t lay a finger on you. And one more thing, I’ll never turn my back on you, love.”

  The conviction in Tony’s deep voice surrounded me like a suit of armor.

  “Thank you. I know I don’t act like it, but I do trust you, Tony. I think you’re the first person who’s ever truly deserved it. But giving up my power and letting someone take over is hard for me.” A beleaguered smile tugged one corner of his mouth. “I know. I know… I’m not the poster child for submission. Honestly, if it hadn’t been for George, I wouldn’t have even known the lifestyle existed.”

  “How so?”

  I scoffed and shook my head. “He came into the café one night, nervous as a cat in a dog pound. He started telling me about a friend who owned an adult club and asked if I’d go with him to check it out. I was shocked and scared I’d end up in the middle of some kind of kinky orgy or something. But it was the first time he’d asked me out, and I wasn’t going to turn him down.”

  Tony sat listening patiently as I rambled on.

  “He confessed that he’d actually been to Genesis a few times and was intrigued by what he saw. After he assured me it wasn’t an orgy and asked if I could keep an open mind, I was so curious I said ‘yes.’

  “I’ll never forget the first night you came to the club,” Tony whispered as if he were re-living it right along with me. “Your eyes were so wide, and innocence poured off you like summer rain. My dick got hard just looking at you, and I remember hoping that you were George’s daughter.”

  “Oh my,�
�� I chuckled.

  “Yeah, when I found out otherwise, I was devastated. A better man would have turned the other way, but I couldn’t keep from watching you. Fantasizing about all the wicked things I wanted to do to you… all the things I still want to do to you, angel.”

  Yes, now… do them now, Tony. Please!

  I knew he’d read my mind when he chuckled. “Go on; tell me the rest.”

  “After he’d showed me around the club, we went up to Mika’s office and watched through the mirror. Mika explained about Doms, Masters, Tops, subs, slaves, bottoms, switches, and the whole nine yards. Told me what every piece of equipment was called and how it was used. Watching it all got me so turned on, it was hard not to sit there and squirm on the couch.”

  Tony laughed. “I like to make you squirm.”

  I made a face and continued. “They explained the dynamics of the power exchange and what people gained from it. I guess you could say they gave me a crash course in BDSM,” I chuckled softly, remembering how my mind was spinning that first night.

  “I realized how George seemed to be into it, and even though I had a long list of things I wouldn’t do, I agreed to be his submissive.”

  Tony grinned. “For someone who didn’t know whit about the lifestyle, you were smart to set limits from the start.”

  “Yeah, well I didn’t know that’s what I was doing. I just knew that the thought of being cuffed to a cross or tied down in any way freaked me the hell out. I was scared to be in such a vulnerable position.”

  “It takes a tremendous amount of trust.” Tony brushed his lips over mine. “I know you trust me, Leagh. You never would have let me tie you up if you didn’t. You may not realize it, but you’re a very special treasure to me, sweetheart.”

  Tony’s words made my heart swell and a lump form in my throat. I’d been afraid he would reject me for my involvement with Matt, but he vanquished those fears with his gentle understanding. I had no idea what my tomorrows would bring, but for the first time, since George had died, a sense of peace settled over me thanks to Tony.

  The bubble of serenity surrounding me didn’t last long. Tony’s cell phone rang once again. And as he silently listened, I watched the color drain from his face.

  “I’m going to put you on speaker, James. Leagh needs to hear this, too.”

  After pushing a button, Tony laid the phone on the bed. At the sight of his trembling hand, I tensed.

  “Leagh, honey, we’ve got a little problem with your vehicle out here.”

  “Problem? What kind of problem?” I asked, not bothering to hide the fear in my voice.

  “That dude dickin’ with your car wired a nasty little brick of C-4 to your spark plug. The Chief just got here and called for the bomb squad to come take a look at it.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  A rush of adrenaline shot through me, hot and buzzing. Shadowy black spots gathered behind my eyes. I sucked in several deep breaths as my heart pounded in my ears. C-4. Bomb squad. This couldn’t be happening… this had to be a nightmare.

  “Before you freak out, Leagh, listen to me. We don’t know for sure that this has anything to do with you. The guy may have had a beef with Mika, or the club, and just happened to pick your car.”

  “He wired it with explosives?” The visual of shoving my key into the ignition, turning the engine over, and a deadly ball of fire exploding into the night sky filled my brain. If James hadn’t been paying attention to the security feed in Mika’s office, I’d be dead.

  Tony wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in close.

  “I said don’t freak out, Leagh. We’ll find this nut-sack and get some answers,” James assured.

  “Did you get any leads from the license plate?” Tony asked. His tone weighed with anxiety.

  “Yep. A half dozen officers are headed to the address pulled from the registration as we speak. The Chief sidelined me, said it was a conflict of interest for me to work on this. I told him I just wanted five minutes alone with the prick when they brought him in. But he wouldn’t go for that, either.”

  “If this was meant for Leagh, I’ll be at the head of the line regardless what your Chief says,” Tony growled.

  Listening to the men posture I didn’t give a rat’s ass who beat the crap out of the bad guy first. I just needed to know which evil was after me: Matt or Hayden. Dread, thick and dark, thundered through my veins along with the urge to run. Glancing at the casts weighing on my arm and leg, I knew my options were limited. Tinges of hopelessness joined in the swirling fray and trying to keep a lid on the panic swelling inside grew more difficult by the second.

  “I’ve asked a couple my detective friends to pay Hayden and Sloane a visit to see if they might have had a hand in this. I’m going to ride over with them, but I’ll have to wait in the fucking car. I’ll call you back as soon as I have more news.”

  “Thanks for keeping us in the loop, man,” Tony replied before ending the call.

  As he moved away and pocketed his phone, I reached for the crutch by the side of the bed.

  “Where do you think you’re going?” he asked, gripping my wrist.

  “I have to get out of here.” Fear coated my words. “Someone is trying to kill me. If that blast had gone off, it would have destroyed Genesis. I can’t stay here if it’s going to put all your lives at risk. I have to find somewhere safe to go…and I need to do it now!”

  “Easy, baby,” Tony soothed, releasing my hand. “We’ll get some answers soon. But until we know what’s going on, you’ve got to try and stay calm. You’ll drive yourself crazy with what ifs. I won’t let anyone hurt you. Come on, sweetheart, try and pull yourself together.”

  “I can’t!” I gasped. Panic took over, and I shoved him away. “You’ve got to help get me out of here. Please.”

  With single-minded purpose, Tony crawled onto the bed. Crowding me with his chest, he pressed against me until I lay flat. Straddling my thighs with his, he gathered up my wrists and pinned them above my head. Looming over me, he lowered his body on top of mine.

  Even in the throes of unmitigated fear, desire coiled like a snake low in my belly. Determination lined his face as he leaned in and captured my mouth. I didn’t think anything could redirect my terror, but his potent kiss did just that. Cocooned in his strength and swayed by his lips I found my salvation.

  He tasted like a lifeline of sanity.

  Absorbing the heat of his hulking body, I sipped on his slick tongue. Every humid breath Tony exhaled became a tender mercy that I greedily sucked into my own lungs.

  His kiss drained my fears and twisted them into desire. He imprisoned me in passion and power.

  Tony claimed my mouth—owned it—owned me.

  Sliding his hands beneath the edge of my robe, he pushed the silk aside. Exposed to the cool air and sensual glide of Tony’s palms, my nipples pebbled. Wedging his knee between my legs, he roughly parted my thighs and swallowed my whimper of surrender. As he skimmed his fingers up my slick folds, I groaned. Driving a finger inside my wet tunnel, his thumb found my clit, and I tightened around him as he swallowed my gasp. Without a shred of modesty, my knees fell open, and I arched into his hand.

  Trailing hot kisses over my jaw and down my neck, he paused, nipping at my pulse point. Squeezing a second finger alongside the other, his touch left my body quivering.

  “What else do you need to tell me, sweetheart?” he growled against my throat.

  “Nothing. Please. Don’t stop, Tony. I don’t have any more secrets. I swear.”

  Tony raised his head. Savage hunger, wild and ruthless flickered across his dark, hooded eyes. Imprisoned by his ardent pull, I longed for him to unleash the beast clawing inside him and let it devour me.

  “Ah, there’s still one secret you’re keeping from me.” Tony’s eyes narrowed as his jaw ticked.

  Sexually saturated neurons misfired in my brain and made it hard for me to concentrate. There is nothing left to tell him.

  “Tell me, angel. Are you r
eady to belong to me? To be mine?”

  “Yes,” I hissed, his masterful fingers strumming incessantly.

  His nostrils flared, and a low growl of possession rumbled from his chest. Reaching up, I cupped the back of his neck to draw his mouth back to mine.

  A slow smirk crawled across his lips. Challenging my control the muscles in his neck and shoulders tightened and bulged. “Did you forget that I’m in charge here?”

  “No,” I replied with an impatient shake of my head.

  “Good girl. We play by my rules today, tomorrow…forever. If I’m what you truly want, give me your power.”

  An arduous learning curve lay ahead, but Tony’s vow echoed in my ears. “I promise you this, no man, Dominant, or Master will treasure your gifts more than I. All you have to do is open the door and let me in. Trust that I’ll cherish everything you give me.”

  Finally, my heart and head aligned. Free of the fear of Tony abandoning me, I felt blanketed in faith the he would indeed never let me fall. A new road laid out before me. One that was no longer shrouded in darkness and distress but shimmered in light and happiness and most important of all…love.

  “Take it, please. It’s yours,” I offered on a shaky sigh.

  “What is it you want, angel? Tell me. It’s as simple as that,” Tony prompted, strumming his fingers in a persuading rhythm.

  “I want to taste your lips, please.”

  “Mmm. I love the way you beg. Very nice,” he murmured. Bending low, Tony brushed his mouth over mine. “Stick out your tongue. Taste me to your heart’s content, angel.”

  Extending my tongue over his smooth lips, a tiny groan of pleasure vibrated from the back of his throat. Brazenly, I plunged deeper, tangling my tongue with his, exploring every inch of his mouth. Tony allowed me to feast on him, and I gave myself over to the smoldering heat swirling between us.

  As if sensing my surrender, he suddenly pulled back. Sliding a hand into my hair, he squeezed tight in a palpable surge of dominance, leaned in and sucked my lower lip between his teeth. Skimming his tongue over the plump flesh he bit down hard before plunging deep inside and cutting off my cry.