Of Heads and Hearts in the Metro

by Thessa Lim

  Laine quickly recovered. “We’re going to the new ribs restaurant Grill’d at Station 2. The reviews were very positive. And apparently they have great lemongrass martinis.”

  Matt nodded and then bade the girls goodbye.

  After finishing their fruit shakes, they all headed for the manangs, who stayed under the shade of coconut palms. People were to lie down on the mats laid out under the palms, and the manangs would give massages right there. Privacy was thrown to the wind, but the women were skilled, and the price even better.

  “I have to breastfeed Liam first. You girls go ahead, okay?” After checking that there were no loosely hanging coconuts, Jazmine went to sit at the root of a palm.

  Helen helped her settle down with a nursing cover, and Liam took his fill. The three other girls went to get their beauty treatments.

  After breastfeeding, Jazmine laid a blanket on the sand and placed Liam in the middle. He was learning to lift his head nowadays. Helen sat across her and teased Liam with a stuffed lion toy. Jazmine took out the toy pail and shovel she bought the other week for this trip.

  “It’s his first time at the beach,” Jazmine said.

  “From what I heard, he could’ve been born on a beach,” Helen quipped and smiled broadly.

  Jazmine laughed. “Please don’t remind me about that.”

  Jazmine cupped some sand in her right hand and brought it near Liam’s hand, wondering if he would like the texture. When the sand reached his hand, Liam stopped moving for a while, then began feeling the grains with his fingers and palm. She gasped in delight. He smiled, and saliva dripped down his chin, which made Jazmine giggle.

  Suddenly, a gust of wind blew their way, and some sand flew right onto Liam’s face.

  Jazmine gasped. “There’s sand in his mouth!”

  She scrambled to get the wipes from her bag.

  “Here, let me get that,” Helen offered and held out the dispenser.

  “Ack! He’s getting sand in his eyes!”

  Jazmine snatched several wipes from the dispenser and padded them over Liam’s face.

  She turned to Helen, scrunching her face, and asked, “Should we bring him to a hospital?”

  Helen burst out in laughter and shook her head.

  “Ms. Jaz, he’ll cry soon enough, and the sand will come off his eyes,” Helen assured her, patting a hand over Jazmine’s arm.

  As Jazmine hesitated and peered down at her son, Helen grinned and stared out at the finest beach she had ever seen. She had never been there before. If it was not for Liam, she would still be wondering why everybody fancied Boracay. Now she knew why. It was a place where expectations were satisfied and more, romance was kindled, and friendships were fused ever more tightly.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  Anne and Daniel

  Anne fixed an imaginary crease on the white dress that was laid on her bed. It was a strapless couture dress with frills on the bodice, a short flowing bottom, and a long lacy trail at the back that touched her ankles. She smiled at it and then appraised her hotel room. The white walls were spotless and decorated with abstract paintings in gold-colored frames. The queen-size bed was perched on top of a bronze-finished wooden platform. The glass walls, showcasing a view of the sea, were adorned by ecru curtains and white sheer drapes. It was perfect for a bride-to-be.

  She could not help thinking about the look on her parents’ faces when she tells them that she got hitched. She shook her head to chase the thought away. This day should be about only her and Daniel. Her parents had nothing to do with it.

  Somebody knocked on her door. Checking the peephole first, she gasped when she saw that it was Daniel.

  “Babe, it’s bad luck to see each other before the wedding,” she called out from inside the room, but she smiled.

  He must want to look at me and hold me now.

  “Anne, uh, I need to talk to you.”

  “Babe . . . has something happened? Are you okay?”

  He looked flustered and was sweating and red on the face. He also avoided her eyes.

  “I need to talk to you. Can I come in?”

  He peered inside, checking if anybody else were there. She opened the door. He turned to her when she closed it behind them, but he looked only at his hands.

  “Anne, I don’t think we should do this,” he rasped.

  She shook her head. “Is it because of my parents? That this will destroy my relationship with them? I’ve sounded off leaving the house to Mom, though not fully and not directly . . . But it should be fine, hon.”

  “No. I haven’t been up-front with you on why I’m not in good terms with my family anymore.”

  He pinched the bridge of his nose.

  “So it’s because of you and your family?” she asked.

  “Anne, my parents and I don’t get along . . . But in order for that to happen, I-I . . .” He paused as his body tensed. “I-I was in a gay relationship before.”

  She took a deep breath. “Okaaay.” She hesitated and shook her head. “W-what are you telling me? Are you trying to make sure I’m okay with your past?” She swallowed. “That doesn’t seem to change anything if . . . we love each other and are committed to each other now.”

  Right? Right?

  “Anne, I adore you, and I think you’re the most beautiful girl.”

  She started to smile.

  He’s just having cold feet.

  “But now . . . I-I have to accept that I’m more inclined toward men. More so than I could ever be . . . toward women.”

  Her eyes rolled back in her head.

  “What?” she hissed, and her head snapped forward at him. She could not tell if she were shocked or angry or both. “Why are you saying this to me now?”

  “An ex-boyfriend of mine has been trying to get me back the past month. You and I are in a committed relationship, and I’ve been telling him not to screw with my mind.” He drew a sharp breath. “But I can’t—he means a lot to me.” He looked at her, his eyes wide with desperation.

  “So what you’re really telling me is that you’re in love with someone else?” she snapped. Her heart began to pound like a war boat’s drums, and her head spun.

  “God. It sounds like I’ve been cheating on you.” He looked around the room, willing for an answer to come to him. “That I lied to you. God, I did lie to you. I kept this from you. And now that I’m trying to accept this about me with more surety, I-I’m dragging you into a pit. You must know . . . I’ve never been in love with another woman more than with you.”

  “H-how can this be true? We made love. You kissed me like . . . like you wanted me!”

  Anne clenched her fists. Her mind played back the scenes of their time together—their kisses and the sex, the way he would close his eyes and grunt as they made out, how they made love only once each time they were together.

  “I did want you. I . . . It’s difficult to explain.”

  Her head snapped up. “Try me!”

  “The-there’s just a part of me that I know will keep asking what if. If we get married . . . then later, what if . . . what if . . .” He shook his head and wiped his brow.

  No, no, no!

  She clutched at his shirt. “Daniel, please. You’re a man. We’re great together. I love you. You love me. Remember?”

  “But you and Zack . . . that’s irreplaceable too. I thought . . .” His eyes widened as he studied her expression.

  She glowered at him. “What thing with Zack?”

  “That you . . .” He gestured with his right hand, waving it in the air. “That he . . .”

  She demanded, “What? Were you hoping that there was something between Zack and me? So that, so that we can cancel this wedding?”

  Daniel covered his face, and Anne’s body shook.

  Oh my God. He’s serious!

  “Then why did you agree to all this?” she screamed, gesturing to her dress. Her eyes watered.

  “Because I do love you. You were crying when you came to me that night. Y
ou asked me to marry you . . . You looked so beautiful through your tears, and I couldn’t stand to see you cry.”

  “You son of a bitch! Don’t you dare blame this all on me.”

  “I’m not—”

  She growled and raised a hand to slap him in the face. He drew a sharp breath and dove out of the way.

  “Anne, please,” he begged.

  Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, and it opened. Laine, still carrying her snorkel and mask from a dive that morning, stepped in. Zara came in after her.

  “He wants to be with somebody else! His ex-boyfriend!” Anne screamed as she pointed a finger at Daniel. “So he’s leaving me! On our wedding day! You son of a bitch!”

  Daniel looked like he wanted to run from the room. He turned his eyes to the two by the door and pleaded, but they would not budge.

  “We’re not moving away unless Anne says so.” Zara glared at him.

  Daniel cursed.

  “Is this what my parents found out about you?” Anne screamed.

  “It might’ve been. I don’t know.”

  A guttural roar came from Anne, which made everybody in the room jump. She pulled back her arm and landed a purposeful punch right on his gut. He grunted in pain and shielded his body. She glared at the cowering man and then suddenly took a deep breath and broke out in sobs. Laine ran to her and hugged her, soothing her and brushing her hair.

  Zara softened when she saw the look on Daniel’s face—embarrassment at having had an audience and anguish for breaking the heart of a woman.

  “Daniel, can you please leave now?” Zara requested.

  Daniel shuffled out the room.

  “He led me on! He led me on!” Anne wailed in between sobs. She collapsed on the floor and tried to catch her breath.

  Zara rushed to get a wet face towel from the bathroom and came back with it and a box of tissues. She knelt beside Anne and wiped her face.

  “Anne, sometimes the heart is a complicated, confusing thing.” Laine searched her mind for all the positive things she could say. “It’s better that you know now than later.”

  “You’re the prettiest woman a guy can ever have,” Zara added and frowned.

  “You swear? There’s nothing wrong with me?” Anne asked Zara.

  “Yes, honey. You’re the most vibrant, exciting woman there is.”

  “Yes, I totally agree.” Laine smiled at Anne.

  Anne looked up at them, sniffing, and then gasped. “My parents should never know that we planned to get married.”

  Both girls nodded.

  “They’re going to ask about him. I’ll . . . I’ll just tell them that I got bored with him. That’s believable, right?”

  Zara and Laine nodded again and offered her another tissue.

  “I was going to move in with him this week. I imagined us spending many nights just holed up in his apartment.” Anne sobbed again.

  Zara muttered, “I don’t understand this. I thought he was becoming possessive of you.”

  “I still remember the first time we met at that bar,” Anne rambled on. “He was so handsome when he walked up to our group and said hi. He said hi while he was looking at me with that kind of look. That kind of look that says he’s interested, you know? That look that makes you . . . sizzle, you know?” She turned to her listeners, with a wild look in her eyes. They nodded, not daring to argue with her at the moment. “I thought that he looked so sexy and that we had such good chemistry. All this time he never really wanted me. All this time I was just dreaming and being stupid. Oh my God, I’m an ilusyonada!”[29] she wailed and cried another bucket of tears.

  Suddenly, Jazmine stepped into the room.

  “What are you guys up to?” Jazmine asked when she saw them. “You gals okay?”

  Anne was all too eager to fill her in. For another two emotional hours, she went over the events that transpired that afternoon again and again, sobbing in between details, blowing her nose after crying, and screaming into a pillow at times.

  Everybody was sprawled on the bed. Anne was drained.

  Suddenly Zara gasped when the practicalities of the matter dawned on her. “Oh my gosh. I have to cancel with the officiator.”

  She stood up, walked out of the room, and made the phone calls.

  Anne groaned as she surveyed the room, “I’m so sorry I dragged you all the way here for nothing.”

  “We were having fun . . . until a few hours ago, of course. The weather has never been better. Do you maybe want to go and hang out under the sun?” Laine suggested.

  “I’m still in shock. I can’t believe this happened,” Jazmine spoke up. “I kept preparing myself for after the wedding. That this—”

  “What did I miss? How did I never see this coming?” Anne groaned and sprawled her body on the floor. “He had mentioned an ex-girlfriend! A Kristelle! Do you think . . . do you think I’ll ever get to this point again with another guy? Maybe I should join the nunnery . . .” She sat up. “Laine! You and I should!”

  “Anne, I’ve never considered becoming a nun.” Laine made a face at the suggestion. “If it’ll make you feel better, we can go lounge by the beach?”

  Anne, aghast, stared at her but then softened. “Chocolate fudge cake?”

  “Yes, plus mangoes.”

  “Green mangoes with bagoong?”[30] Anne’s eyes widened with want.

  “Yes!”

  Anne wiped her eyes and lumbered to the bathroom.

  Laine shook her head at Jazmine. “This is awful! And last week we were just bumming about this wedding. This is horrible, horrible, horrible.”

  By the time Anne stepped out of the bathroom, Zara had made the cancellations, and Jazmine had tidied up the mess. Laine put her arm around Anne and kissed her on the cheek.

  “The sea will make you feel better.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  Salvage Some

  Anne stood up and announced, “We have to break into Daniel’s hotel room.”

  Zara and Laine groaned. They were lying down on lounge chairs by the beach and staring at the people walking by, getting on Jet Skis, and boarding paraws.[31] Jazmine took another bite of the green mango slice in her hand.

  Zara admonished, “Can we please put an end to this break-in business?”

  “No. I-I need to go in. There’s something I need to get back. And I really, really need to,” Anne insisted. Her eyebrows furrowed, and she mulled over the situation.

  “I’m willing to go with you, if you need to do this,” Jazmine offered and sat up.

  Anne paced the length of her plastic chair and back.

  “What is it, Anne? Is it really that important?” Zara pried.

  “Yes. Yes, it’s vital that I get it—them.” Anne stopped in her tracks and placed her hands on her hips.

  Zara frowned. “What did you leave behind? Jewelry?” Her eyes widened. “Underwear?”

  “No.” Anne frowned. “It’s much worse than that.”

  Zara sat up. “What is it? If we’re going to break in, we should know at least what we’re risking our heads for.”

  Laine faced Anne. “What if you just tell Daniel that you left some stuff in his room and that you need to get them? And can he please not be around while you’re there?”

  The three other girls stared at Laine for a while.

  Zara clapped her hands. “That’ll work. I’m for that.”

  Jazmine chuckled.

  Anne turned the doorknob. The door was unlocked, just as Daniel told Laine he would leave it. When Anne stepped into the room though, she froze in her tracks. A king-size bed was in the middle of the room—four boudoir pillows, encased in silver embroidered silk shams, leaned back against the sleeping pillows that lay below the charcoal-colored tufted headboard. A rayon throw lined the end of the bed, and matching ruffles hung from the bed’s boxspring to the floor. Images of what she had, before this weekend, imagined happening between her and Daniel filled her mind.

  Suddenly, Jazmine bumped against her fro
m behind.

  No time to waste. I must salvage what’s left of my pride.

  Anne broke out of her traitorous reverie and walked into the room. Zara followed after Jazmine, then Laine.

  “Okay. First, let’s take all his clothes, dump them in the bathtub, and fill it to the brim,” Jazmine piped up.

  “No, no.” Anne sighed. “I-I just need his laptop . . . and any hard drives you might find.”

  Zara stiffened. “Please don’t tell me we’re here to do what I think we’re about to do.”

  Anne looked into Zara’s eyes. “I’m afraid you might already know what I need to do.”

  Laine frowned. “What’s in his laptop? Some confidential information? You brought work with you when you were at his place?”

  Jazmine walked over to the desk by the window. “Family business stuff?”

  Zara pursed her lips and headed for the luggage by the cabinet. Laine opened the bedside table’s drawers and peeked in. Anne sat down on the bed, with her shoulders slumped. She watched as her friends searched the room.

  If there is any categorically demoralizing moment in my life, this would be it.

  “I found his laptop,” Zara announced as she took out a bursting sleeve from Daniel’s suitcase. “There doesn’t seem to be any hard drives in here.”

  “There’s a USB stick here on the table,” Jazmine announced, waving the gadget in the air.

  “Nothing here,” Laine spoke up and walked to Jazmine’s side by the table.

  Zara brought the MacBook to the table and turned it on. “Anne, we need a password.”

  Anne huffed out a breath and lay down on the bed. “It’s daniel123. All lowercase.”

  When the desktop screen came to view, Zara called out to Anne, “We’re in.”

  Anne dragged herself to the table and sat on the swiveling chair. After taking a deep breath, she opened the Images folder, and pictures of her and Daniel’s beaming faces popped up. Laine gasped.

  Laine implored, “Please tell me you’re not erasing all your memories.”

  Anne selected all the pictures and was about to press Delete, when she sighed and pressed Escape. She whimpered, “We looked happy, didn’t we?”