by Kiki Swinson
“No, you don’t, Kira. This was something I had to do for my sister, so it had nothing to do with you as a person.”
“If it’s any consolation, Kendra, I’m OK with what you did. I mean, it would’ve happened sooner or later.”
“So you forgive me?”
“You are a’ight. Everything is cool.”
“So when are you leaving to go back to Anguilla?”
“In a few days. I’ve got to head back to my hometown to tie up a few loose ends.”
“When are you leaving?”
“Today. I’m at the airport as we speak.”
“Well, you have a safe flight and make sure you call me before you head back to Anguilla.”
“Will do,” I said and then hung up.
Saying Good-Bye
When my plane arrived in Norfolk, I walked straight into the terminal with my heart beating rapidly. I was afraid that either the feds were hiding out somewhere in the airport waiting patiently to take me into custody for something really bogus, or Ricky’s people were disguised and just looking for the right opportunity to put a bullet in my head. I knew I would feel this way when I touched down in this city. It never failed.
I remember the day I came out of Witness Protection. I was a complete basket case. Always looking over my shoulders, wondering who was watching me. I hated feeling that way. I mean, who wanted to carry that uneasy feeling with them every single day? Not me. I couldn’t do it. Which was why I got the hell out of Virginia. The quicker I paid my respects to Nikki, the faster I could get the hell out of here again.
Doing what I did best, I hopped into a taxi and instructed the driver to take me to the Hilton, which was right on the corner of Military Highway and North Hampton Boulevard, only five minutes from the airport. This was a prime location for me. I knew no one I knew would hang out there, because it was more upscale than most hotels in the city. A lot of pilots, flight attendants, and business executives frequented this place. The hustlers I knew were more likely to get a room in downtown Norfolk at the Sheraton or the Marriott. And when they wanted to be incognito to creep with one of their side hoes, they’d take a trip up to Williamsburg or Lightfoot and get a room out there. I knew their fucking tricks. That was how I always stayed a few steps ahead of them.
Speaking of which, that was what I should have told Nikki’s mother when the bitch asked me why I was still alive while everybody else kept falling down around me like flies. Shit, if you asked me, they were all just dealt a fucked-up hand. I couldn’t explain it any better than that. But the next time she came out her mouth and insinuated that I was the reason Nikki was murdered, I would tell her just that. Fuck it! I was so tired of biting my tongue and being the nice guy. From here on out, everyone would feel my wrath. That was my word.
Driving at the speed of twenty miles per hour, the taxi driver finally got me to my destination fifteen minutes later, although it should have only taken five minutes. I was annoyed, but I didn’t take out my frustrations on him. I paid him while the bellman opened the door to the cab.
After I got out of the cab, I handed the bellman a crisp ten-dollar bill and headed straight into the hotel lobby, which was somewhat empty. It was probably because it was a Thursday, and tourists normally started their vacations on a Friday. Once my room was paid for, I got on the elevator and made my way up to the fifth floor.
Inside my room, the curtains were drawn back, allowing the sun to beam right in. I dropped my handbag and my carry-on on top of the bed, kicked off my sneakers, and sat down.
I gazed outside and wondered what was going on out there in those streets, since Ricky, Russell, Brian, and the rest of the crew were no longer out there to throw their weight around, I knew there had to be a new crew out there holding down the streets. That was just how the game was played. When one crew left the set, another one came right in and set up shop. It was called free rein, the last rule in the hustler’s manual. Every cat knew that.
As I thought about the rough streets of Norfolk, I couldn’t help but think back on the things I did when I’d lived here, and how popular I was.
Niggas loved me, and the bitches hated my guts. I was hated by some of the hottest chicks out here. But what they didn’t have that I did have was Ricky, a hot commodity when he was alive. I literally had to fight a few hoes to keep them in check. The street chicks from VA ain’t to be fucked with. They would fuck your man right in front of you. Oh, yeah, most of them were scandalous, so I kept a blade on me at all times. Being back in Virginia really had me remembering how my life used to be. They were not pleasant memories.
After I finished reminiscing, I ordered some room service and chilled in the room for the rest of the evening. Right after I set my empty dishes outside the room, I climbed into bed and dialed my baby’s number.
He answered after the second ring. “I was wondering when you were going to call,” he said.
***
The very next morning I got up, called Donovan to let him know that I was about to hop in the shower, and told him that I would call him back as soon as I left the funeral. He said, “OK,” and then we hung up.
The hot water in the shower did me some justice. I didn’t want to get out, but I knew I had somewhere to be. I got dressed in a black one-shoulder dress I had stuffed away in my carry-on bag, and then I slipped on my shoes and grabbed my handbag.
Before I left my room, I looked down at my engagement ring and, once again, decided not to wear it to the funeral.
The funeral started at noon, and I wanted to be on time, so instead of taking another taxi, I called Enterprise to rent a car, and had them pick me up. I needed a car to get around anyway, since I wanted to do a little sightseeing before I left, and it would have been extremely expensive to do it while the meter was running. It didn’t take long for me to get the car, so I was on the road and within two miles of the church in less than thirty minutes.
When I arrived at the church on the corner of Princess Anne Road and Church Street, I took a deep breath and convinced myself that I would be all right. Cars and trucks were parked everywhere. I had no idea Nikki’s funeral would be that damn big. The church was packed from one wall to the other. When I looked at the faces of all those people I realized that they were relatives of hers from her mother’s side of the family. There were also a lot of chicks who went to Norfolk State with her sitting near her relatives too. I smiled and took a seat in the third row.
Uncle Lanier and his wife were seated in the very first row. I wanted to be as far away from them as possible. I couldn’t afford to be humiliated in front of everyone—not today, or any other day for that matter.
Finally, after everyone got to their seats, the minister started the service. Nikki’s mother immediately broke down into tears and cried the entire time. During the eulogy I heard Nikki’s aunt on her mother’s side say that Nikki was in a better place.
I immediately thought about the day Nikki was murdered. I didn’t remember her asking God for forgiveness. She was pleading for her life as I recalled. I don’t think she had enough time to talk to God. If she did, she must’ve snuck in a quick forgive-me prayer underneath her breath right before that iron went right through her. For her sake, I sure hope she did. From the way my grandmother used to talk about how hot hell was, I wouldn’t want to wish that on my worst enemy. Oh, well, only God know where she would end up.
Immediately after the eulogy was read, some godforsaken old lady got up to sing “His Eye is on the Sparrow,” and I swear to you, I wanted to puke. This lady sounded like pure shit, and I wanted so badly to tell her to shut up, while everyone around me was telling her to take her time.
Aside from that, this was truly a sad occasion. I could now imagine how my funeral was when everyone thought I was dead and I was hiding out in the Witness Protection Program. To see someone you were once close to go away from this earth was like losing a part of yourself. And even though Nikki and I weren’t on the best of terms before she got murdered, in some ki
nd of weird way, I felt a sense of loss. I wasn’t that fucking coldhearted, at least not to my family.
After the burial everybody got in their cars and followed one another back to my uncle’s home for a gathering. I started not to go, but my uncle insisted that I needed to be amongst family, so I tagged along. When I arrived at his home, I did everything within my power to avoid a run-in with his wife, who hated my guts. Whenever I saw her coming in my direction, I went the opposite way.
I greeted a few people who knew me through Nikki. They all spoke very highly of her, talking about how she was gonna be missed because she had been an instrumental part in their lives. I found that very hard to believe, because she was a jealous bitch to me. She tried everything in her power to destroy me, so I wouldn’t be missing her at all. I honestly wanted to throw up when I heard one of her old classmates say how Nikki used to have her back and how she would take her home on the nights they had late classes together.
“I will never forget her,” the chick said.
I looked at her and wanted to throw up. They didn’t know Nikki like I knew her. She had them fooled. And I refused to listen to any more of their dramatic stories.
I looked for the nearest exit and made my way toward it. When I entered the hallway that led to the foyer, I heard voices. One of the voices belonged to Uncle Lanier, but I couldn’t identify the other voice. It bothered me that I couldn’t place the voice, so I made it my business to quench my curiosity.
As I approached my uncle and the other mystery man, I overheard my uncle say, “I want to do it myself, but I just don’t have the guts to do it.”
The two men were only a few feet away from me. All I had to do was walk two more feet and turn a corner to come into the foyer. As soon as I did that, I was in full view. I was blown away when I saw my uncle talking to Tony, the baby daddy of my late friend and business partner, Rhonda.
The last time I had seen Tony was right before I got shot and went into Witness Protection, so I really didn’t know whether to give him my condolences concerning Rhonda, or just hug him. I was totally speechless, but something inside me got up the urge to do the first thing that came to mind. I finally smiled and said, “Well, hello.”
Tony smiled back at me. “And hello to you too,” he said, and then he reached out and gave me a hug.
After we embraced, I felt a sense of warmth. All the guilt I felt at not attending Rhonda’s funeral or paying him a visit to check up on the kids went right out the window. “What a surprise to see you here. I didn’t know you knew my uncle,” I commented, looking at him and my uncle.
My uncle spoke up first. “I never told you I met him?”
“Not that I remember.”
“It must’ve slipped my mind. But I’ve known Tony for years. He used to work for me some years back while I was a supervisor in Wal- Mart’s warehouse.”
Tony laughed. “Yeah, but tell her how long I kept that job.”
My uncle laughed. “He didn’t stay with us long. I was actually off the day he got fired by the other supervisor, so we didn’t get to see each other before he left. But it’s funny how life is. Because the day I went by your shop to check on Nikki, he was dropping off his girlfriend Rhonda, and we recognized each other that very second.”
“Where was I?” Before I realized what I had said, it was too late to retract my question. I looked at my uncle oddly and hoped he would be clever enough not to reveal my whereabouts to Tony.
“That happened during the time you went away. Nikki and Rhonda were handling the shop for you.”
I was truly relieved at the way my uncle handled his response. “So what are you two talking about?”
“We were just talking about the loss of Nikki and Rhonda.”
“Yeah, it’s a tragic thing.” I sighed. “It feels like I lost two sisters.”
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
Tony didn’t utter a word.
“So, where are the kids?” I asked him, changing the subject.
“At the house with a friend of mine.”
“Well, would it be all right if I saw them before I got back on my flight and headed out of here?”
“When are you leaving?”
“In the morning.”
“So soon?”
“Yeah, I got to get out of here. There’s nothing going on around here that I need to be a part of. And, besides, I have a man back home who’s waiting patiently for me to get back there.”
Tony and my uncle both smiled.
“Where are you staying tonight?” Tony asked.
“At the Hilton on Military Highway.”
“Are you getting ready to head there now?”
“I was. Why?”
“Well, if you’d like, you can follow me back to my spot and see the kids before you head back to your hotel.”
“OK. Sounds good. I can do that.”
“All right then, let’s go.” Tony turned toward my uncle and gave him a handshake. “Holla at me later,” he told him.
“I will,” my uncle replied, and then he escorted me and Tony to the front door.
Before I walked out of the house, I gave Uncle Lanier a big hug and told him I loved him. He expressed his love for me as well and then told me to call him before I left town. I assured him that I would.
When Tony and I got outside, I got into my rental car and started my ignition. Meanwhile Tony got into a sky-blue Toyota Camry that once belonged to Rhonda. I remembered when she’d first bought that car. She was so excited to get something brand-new. She knew she couldn’t afford the type of vehicle I drove, so she got the next best thing. Plus, it was more pleasing to her pockets. I was so happy for her that day. I just wished she was here today to drive that bad boy, because I knew that she would’ve taken good care of it.
Tony started his ignition and signaled for me to follow him, so I did just that.
Behind Door #1
The ride to Tony’s place didn’t take long at all. When we jumped on Highway 264, I thought we were headed out to Stony Point, located off Newtown Road in Norfolk. But when we didn’t get off at the Newtown Road exit, I figured he’d moved out of that neighborhood and taken his kids somewhere else. I ended up following him to South Military Highway to an apartment complex called Dockside.
As we pulled into the parking lot, I felt a sense of guilt about seeing Rhonda’s children, because they no longer had their mother around. But I also felt love filling my heart because I was about to see the children after all this time. When I got out of the car, I took a deep breath and followed Tony to the front door.
Surprisingly, Tony’s friend opened the front door before he could unlock it. She stood there in the doorway wearing the evilest stare.
I smiled. “Hello.”
She ignored me and looked directly at Tony. “Who is this?”
While Tony explained to her silly ass who I was, I stood there with my expensive handbag clutched tightly in my hands, making sure she could see it was high-end. I even stuck out my right leg so she could see that my Marc Jacobs shoes. I knew she couldn’t afford the attire I was used to wearing, so I made her grit on me even more when I sighed heavily like my time was being wasted.
“Am I going to see the kids or not?” I asked. “Because if I’m intruding on her time and space, then I can take my ass to the mall and do a little shopping before I leave town,” I said to Tony. I looked back at the chick to see her reaction.
“Well, carry your ass then!” she roared.
I smiled. “Sweetie, you don’t even know me to be popping shit like this!”
“Trust me, I can do and say what the fuck I want to.”
I looked back at Tony. “Can you please handle her before—”
“Before you do what?” She took two steps toward me. This chick was so close to me, she could’ve grabbed me around my throat with ease.
Luckily, Tony got between us. “Shannon, go ’head with that crazy-ass shit! All Kira came here to do is see the kids, and then she’s bounci
ng.”
“That bitch ain’t coming in here!”
“I ain’t gotta come in there!”
Tony pushed Shannon backward. “Get cha ass back in the house. I ain’t got time for this bullshit. This girl ain’t did shit to you for you to be acting like this.”
“I’m just tired of you bringing a whole bunch of bitches to this house. Last week, it was that chick named Sheila, and come to find out, you were fucking her. So, for all I know, she could be another one of the bitches you be fucking behind my back.”
Tony screamed, “I ain’t trying to hear that shit, so shut the fuck up!” Shannon stormed back in the house. She went straight to the hall closet by the front door, reached inside, grabbed her coat and purse, and then stormed right back out past us. I turned to see where she was going. When I saw her hop into a green Nissan Sentra, I wondered why she carried on the way she did.
A brown-skinned chick about two inches taller than me, Shannon was a very pretty young lady. Her hair, styled in a silk wrap, was very long, and she had it cut in layers. But I could tell it was a weave. She looked like the actress Gabrielle Union, but her weight was a little more on the thick side. Her taste in designers wasn’t high-end, because the jean shorts, spaghetti-strap top, and three-inch slingback sandals she wore couldn’t come from anywhere else except bottom-dollar stores. Her whole ensemble looked cheap, so I knew she got a fever when she first looked at me and saw I was rocking an all-black Burberry one- shoulder dress with a black Chanel purse.
When she drove off, she pressed down on the accelerator, squealing her tires like she was a fucking racecar driver. I laughed underneath my breath because she looked really ridiculous in that little tin can car.
I turned my attention back to Tony. I smiled and said, “I see you got yourself a new wifey!”
“Nah, Shannon’s just my friend. I ain’t ready to get into another serious relationship. I got too much shit on my plate right now to be dealing with emotional attachments.”
