by Kiki Swinson
I sighed. “Well, emotional baggage is definitely what women bring to the table.”
He nodded. “True. True.”
“How do you think the kids are going to react when they see me?” I asked as we entered his apartment.
“I’m not sure, but we’re about to find out.” Tony started yelling their names. When they didn’t answer, he said, “They probably can’t hear me because they got that TV up really loud.”
As I stepped into the hallway, I stood there alongside the wall and waited for him to close the door behind us so he could escort me to where the children were.
But before we could move one step, both kids came rushing down the hallway toward me. “Auntie Kira,” they both yelled.
My heart instantly filled with joy when I saw Li’l Tony and Meagan coming toward me. I bent down and extended both of my arms. They rushed to me and fell into my arms.
“Where you been at?” Rhonda’s nine-year-old son asked.
“Yeah, Auntie Kira, where you been? We missed you,” seven-year- old Meagan said.
I looked at them both. “I missed y’all too, but I had to leave town for a while.”
“Why?” Meagan wanted to know.
“Because something came up and I had to hurry up and leave.”
“You know my mommy died, right?” Li’l Tony asked.
Shocked by his candor, I looked up at Tony to see his reaction, and also to see if he would answer the question for me, because I really didn’t know what to say. Yes, I knew Rhonda got killed, but how would I explain to a child that I knew about his mother’s death, but didn’t go to her funeral, or even check on them to see how they were doing? I’d totally deserted them. And I was feeling the guilt rise up within me.
Since Tony didn’t come to my rescue, I exhaled and said, “Yes, sweetie, I know.”
“Our daddy said she’s in heaven with God,” Meagan said.
“Your daddy is right.”
“Our daddy also said that it was you and Nikki’s fault that my mommy got killed.”
Without warning, Tony smacked his son on the back of his head.
“Owwwwww!” Li’l Tony grabbed the back of his head.
“It’s gonna hurt worse than that if you keep running your mouth. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Taken aback by Li’l Tony’s comment, I was speechless. I honestly didn’t know what else to say. At that very moment I wanted to shrink to the size of a mouse and crawl right into a hole. And since I knew I wouldn’t be able to pull that one off, I looked back at Tony and smiled gracefully. I tried to block out everything around me for just one second, but it didn’t work, so I looked back into Li’l Tony’s eyes and said, “No, sweetie! I didn’t have anything to do with what happened to your mother. Now I can’t speak for Nikki, but I can definitely speak for myself. And I will tell you this. If I was around, I would’ve made sure nothing happened to your mother,” I said, using my peripheral vision to look at Tony. I wanted to see his expression, but he must’ve known I was watching him, because he didn’t flinch.
Tony then grabbed Li’l Tony by the back of his shirt and began pulling him down the hallway. “Bring your big mouth on down here to the living room and have a damn seat before I tear up your ass!” Tony escorted his son toward the living room area of the house.
As Meagan followed behind them, I followed behind her. What I really wanted to do was turn around and go right back through the door I’d just come through. I honestly didn’t want to believe that Tony blamed me for Rhonda’s murder. In fact, he didn’t give me that impression when I’d first approached him at my uncle’s house.
When I got to the living room, Tony asked me if I wanted something to drink, but I turned him down. I took a seat beside the kids on the sofa to watch TV. I draped my handbag over my lap and sat there like I was really into the show the children were watching.
“Can I use the bathroom?” I asked.
Tony took a seat on the lounge chair. “Yeah, go ahead. It’s that door underneath the stairwell.”
“Thanks.”
I got up from the chair and raced to the hallway bathroom. As soon as I closed the door behind me, I sat on the side of the bathtub and exhaled. A ton of things ran through my mind at once. I tried to collect my thoughts, but I couldn’t.
Under normal circumstances, I would have stepped to Tony and addressed the situation, but for some reason, I felt out of sync with him. I was never his best friend, but we were really cool when Rhonda was alive. I remember him asking me to babysit the kids on a couple of occasions so he and Rhonda could either go out or stay in and have time alone. Every time he needed me to come through for him, I did, so it really was a shocker to me that he was holding back his true feelings and wasn’t being straight up with me. I guess I was gonna have to approach him with it. He and I had come too far to let something as serious as this come between us.
I stood and looked into the bathroom mirror. “OK, Kira, you can do it, girl,” I said to myself. Before I walked out of the bathroom, I pushed down the handle on the toilet to make it seem like I had just used it, and then I turned on the bathroom faucet and pretended like I was washing my hands. As I prepared to exit the bathroom, I took another deep breath, exhaled, and strolled back into the living room, where Tony and the kids were watching TV.
As soon as I walked into the room, I noticed that Tony was gone. The children were still seated in the same places on the sofa. I asked Li’l Tony where his father was.
“I think he went into the kitchen,” he said.
Badly wanting to set the record straight with Tony, I backed up into the hallway and turned around to see if he was in fact in the kitchen. I walked the short distance to the kitchen and made a left turn around the corner. To my surprise, Tony wasn’t in the kitchen. I started to call out his name, but I figured that wherever he was, he’d be right back. This apartment only had two levels, so he was probably on the second floor.
I turned to go back into the living room, but the sound of Tony’s voice stopped me in my tracks. I paused for a minute to hear from which direction his voice was coming. It sounded like he was engaged in a conversation.
I immediately turned around toward the front door and stood still. His words became clearer as I got closer. Then I heard him say, “I can handle that. That ain’t no problem.”
I took two more steps toward the front door so I could reach over and grab the handle to twist it and open the door.
“OK, I’ll do it, but he better have my money in hand when I get there,” Tony said.
Before he could say another word, I opened the front door. He looked at me like I was a fucking ghost.
“Are you all right?” I asked him.
Instead of responding to my question, he spoke into the receiver of his cell phone. “Eh, yo, homeboy, let me call you back in a few minutes.” Then he shoved his phone into his pants pocket.
“I’m sorry. Did I scare you?”
“Nah, you a’ight.”
“Well, the reason I came looking for you is because I wanted to talk to you while the kids weren’t around.”
“What’s up?”
“Can we talk out here?”
“Yeah, but close the door behind you.”
I closed the door and stepped onto the front porch. Standing only a foot away from me, Tony gave me his undivided attention. I cleared my throat and said, “Look, Tony, I’ve known you for about the same amount of time as I knew Rhonda. I’ve always treated you and Rhonda like family. Now I know that it’s been a while since I’ve been around, especially since I’m the godmother of those kids in there, but as long as I stand here breathing, I would never do anything, nor have I ever done anything to put you, those kids, or Rhonda in a predicament that would harm any of you. Now I know Rhonda is gone and we can’t bring her back, but I swear to you that it wasn’t my fault she got killed.”
Tony smiled. “I can’t believe you believed what Li’l Tony said. Kira, I don’t blame
you for Rhonda’s murder.”
“But why would he make that type of comment?” I asked. His words had really hurt me.
“He must’ve heard bits and pieces of my conversation with Shannon and got all mixed up. I mean, that’s the only way I can see it. But you really shouldn’t let what he said bother you, because I don’t feel that way about you at all.”
Tony seemed sincere in what he was saying was, so I let what Li’l Tony said to me ride. I was glad I got that shit off my chest, so now I could move forward.
As Tony and I continued to converse, Meagan opened the front door. “Daddy, Li’l Tony turned the TV channel while I was watching Hannah Montana.”
“Tell ’im I said he better turn the channel back or I’m gon’ beat his ass!”
“OK.” Meagan dashed back into the house.
About five seconds later she came running back outside. “Daddy, every time I turn it to channel twenty-nine, he turns the TV back to what he wants to watch.”
Tony asked me to excuse him and then stormed into the house. Meagan and I followed. He chastised him, and the kids finally calmed down.
A few minutes later Tony told Meagan and Li’l Tony to get ready so they could leave to go over to their grandmother’s house.
“Are you talking about Rhonda’s mom?” I asked.
“Yes. I told her I would bring the kids over for a visit today.”
“How is she doing?”
“She’s fine. Wanna ride over there with us?”
“How long do you plan to be there?”
“Not long. I’m really just gonna drop off the kids.”
“I don’t wanna go over Grandma’s house,” Li’l Tony said. “I wanna stay here.”
“Me either, Daddy. I wanna stay here with you.”
“Well, I ain’t gon’ be here. I got to go out for a while.”
“Well, can we go with you?” Meagan asked.
“No, you can’t.”
“I don’t wanna go with you. I just want to stay home so I can play with my Xbox game.”
“Well, that’s not happening. Both of y’all are going to your grandmother’s house, and that’s it. Now get ready because we’re leaving in five minutes.”
Li’l Tony and Meagan both dragged themselves out of the living room and headed upstairs to their rooms to get what they were going to need while at their grandmother’s house.
I stood there in amazement. I wanted to applaud Tony for acting as mother and father since Rhonda’s passing, for his efforts to keep his family together. But then I figured he knew he had done something right, because his children definitely listened to him.
A few minutes later everyone stood in a huddle at the front door, ready to leave. I stood among them, not knowing whether I would leave with them or head back to my hotel.
Tony asked, “So are you hanging out with us or going elsewhere?” I thought for a second. “I guess I can hang out with y’all for a few, since I didn’t have any other plans.”
Meagan jumped for joy, while Li’l Tony just stood there with no expression at all. I figured he couldn’t care less either way. Tony, on the other hand, smiled.
After we all climbed into the car, Tony started the ignition and then he drove off to connect to the main road. The ride back down South Military Highway toward Highway 264 was very peaceful.
Tony had Jay-Z’s latest CD playing. Everyone was quiet during the ride, except Li’l Tony, who sang every word on every Jay-Z track.
I laughed. He reminded me of how I used to be as a child. I was a music fanatic. I knew every word of any song that came on the radio. I got that from my mother, who had a huge album collection that included geniuses like Gladys Knight, Diana Ross, The Temptations, and Earth, Wind & Fire. While my mother played her music, I used to sit back in the den and learn the words to those songs like I was going to get quizzed on them, though I couldn’t carry a note from one room to the next.
I put my head back against the headrest and closed my eyes, thinking about my mother.
“Are you all right?” Tony asked me.
Without opening my eyes, I assured him I was fine. “Is the music too loud?”
“No, it’s OK.”
“Are you sure? Because I can turn it down if it’s too loud.”
I opened my eyes and looked directly at him. “Trust me, I am fine,” I told him and then I laid my head back and closed my eyes again.
About ten minutes into the drive, Tony’s cell phone rang. He allowed it to ring about five times before he answered. It annoyed the hell out of me that he’d let it ring so long. I opened my eyes to see what the problem was.
“Hello,” he finally said.
I couldn’t hear the caller, but from the look on Tony’s face, I could tell that the caller was just as annoyed as I was.
“Nah, nigga, it can’t be like that. I got my shorties with me.” Tony paused.
“Yo, we gon’ have to set up something for later, because I can’t get into that right now,” he said and then he paused once more.
“A’ight, later.” Tony ended his call.
Now I know I am not an expert of any kind, but from the sound of that conversation I could only assume that Tony was talking about drugs. Ever since I’d known him, he had always tried to get a decent cocaine hookup. He’d always wanted to play with the big dogs, handle large sums of cash, and drive the expensive whips, but no one in the game wanted to fuck with him.
Your average wannabe nigga, Tony couldn’t flip a bird if his life depended on it. He hustled backward. Rhonda used to say he would be gone all day long, and wouldn’t have shit to show for it. She couldn’t figure out how he used to have so much dope but never made a decent profit out of it. Now I saw him going around that same mountain. He hadn’t learned shit. And from the looks of it, he probably never would.
We finally arrived at Rhonda’s mother’s house in Coleman Place, a very quiet area of Norfolk. From what I’d heard, Ms. Mavis had lived in this house since Rhonda was a little girl.
She met us on her front porch and greeted us with a big smile. “Y ’all better get on in this house and stop walking like you got molasses in your butts.”
I smiled and put a little more speed in my step.
Ms. Mavis was a beautiful lady. She had dark skin with beautiful hazel brown eyes. Her hair was long, but she kept it back in a ponytail. She was average height and very curvy. She reminded me of Phylicia Rashad from The Cosby Show.
As I reached her side, she embraced me with every muscle in her body. She definitely made me feel loved. “What a pleasant surprise!” she said. Then she smacked Tony on the arm. “Why didn’t you tell me you were bringing Kira over here?”
“Trust me, it was a last-minute decision.”
I chuckled. “It’s not his fault, Ms. Mavis. I just decided to tag along, since I didn’t have anything else to do.”
“What’s going on with you? Are you moving back home?”
I sighed heavily. “No, ma’am! I wouldn’t move back to VA if somebody paid me and built me a home from the ground up.”
“Come on now. You know you miss living here,” Ms. Mavis joked.
“The only thing I miss is you and these kids. All that other mess, I can’t be bothered with.”
“Well, you’re gonna be bothered today, ’cause I got a pot of hot chicken soup on the stove right now. So y’all come on in here and get you a bowl,” Ms. Mavis said as she led the way inside.
It had been a little over a year since I’d been in Ms. Mavis’s house. The last time I was there I had come to pay my respects for Rhonda’s death. I had left her a nice piece of change too. I wondered if she’d used any of it for Rhonda’s kids, since that was the reason I left it.
She gave me a brief tour of her living room, showing me all of the pictures Rhonda took through the years, while Tony and the kids raced for the kitchen.
As I looked at each framed picture, Ms. Mavis had a story to tell. But one particular picture stood out. A photo of me,
my late husband Ricky, Rhonda, and my old stylist, Sunshine, at the grand opening of my hair salon. We were dressed to kill. And we looked so damn happy. Ricky stood in the middle, between me and that bitch Sunshine. Looking at him now with his arm around her waist, I should’ve known he was fucking her behind my back. Scandalous motherfuckers! Yeah, they deserved each other!
On the other hand, Rhonda sure didn’t deserve to get killed. I just hoped that I could convey that in a suitable manner and leave in good graces with both Tony and Ms. Mavis before I headed back out of town.
Tony and both of his children were in the kitchen digging deep inside their bowls of soup. Ms. Mavis offered me some, but I declined. I lied to her and told her that I’d gotten a bite to eat right before I’d arrived at Tony’s place.
So Ms. Mavis and I ended up taking a seat in the den area, where we chatted a little bit about what my life had been like since leaving Virginia. I painted a beautiful picture of me settling down with Mr. Right and having a successful hair salon and day spa back in Houston. I even lied to her and told her that I might be expecting a baby, and she seemed very happy for me.
We even reminisced about Rhonda helping me run the business and being such a great mother.
Tony walked in the room when I was telling a story about how Rhonda had once handled an irate customer for me. I couldn’t tell you what his problem was, but he abruptly cut me off in mid-sentence, telling me, he was ready to go.
Ms. Mavis wasn’t ready for me to leave and wanted me to finish the story.
“Ms. Mavis, I just got a call and I got to go,” he informed her. “Why don’t you just leave and come back to get her later?” Ms. Mavis asked.
“I can’t, because I’m not coming back this way.”
“It’s OK, Ms. Mavis. I can call you later and tell you the story some other time.” I stood and gave her a big hug and kissed her on her cheek. “You take care of my godchildren.”
She smiled and held me tightly. “Oh, you can bet your last dollar I will do just that!”
While she walked me to the front door, I slid her my new cell number and told her never to hesitate to call me. She assured me that she would. I hugged her once more, and then I made my exit to meet Tony, who had already gone outside.
