He pushed the troubling thoughts from his mind. Johnny was young. Maybe he just needed a guiding hand. For now, Dell was going to go back inside and enjoy supper with his family.
When he reached the doorway, he stopped. Cassidy stood beside the hearth, her gaze resting on the daguerreotype before her.
“Cass?”
She turned, a frown furrowing her brow. “I don’t understand. Why is Olive in this picture with you and the children?”
Dell drew a deep breath. “It isn’t Olive.”
Her confused frown deepened. “What do you mean?”
“Anna was Olive’s twin sister.” Why hadn’t he told her before?
She set the daguerreotype back on the mantel and drew a deep breath. When she faced him, her eyes blazed with anger and accusation. “Why do you keep letting me find out things the hard way?” she stormed. “Did you think I’d feel threatened by Anna’s sister?”
“I don’t know.” Dell swept a hand through his hair. “Things were so tense between us this morning, I didn’t want to add to the problem or make you uncomfortable in their home.” He took a tentative step toward her.
Cassidy crossed her arms. “Let’s get one thing straight. I am tired of feeling foolish because you conveniently forget to mention certain things to me. From now on, I would appreciate the consideration of your honesty.”
She stalked past him, heading for the kitchen, but Dell reached out a hand and caught her by the arm. “Cassidy, wait.”
His heart lurched as she faced him, tears pooling in her beautiful green eyes.
“I’m sorry,” he said, drawing her into his arms. “I’ve been selfish and vague. I promise to be straight with you from now on.”
Cassidy’s arms crept about his neck in a simple gesture of acceptance and forgiveness. Dell tightened his arms, and they stood locked in the comfortable embrace until Tarah’s steely voice interrupted them from the doorway. “Supper’s ready.”
Dell held Cassidy at arm’s length, his gaze searching her face. “Is everything all right now?”
She nodded. “Let’s go eat.”
He blew out a relieved sigh, and they walked arm in arm to the table.
The children monopolized the dinner conversation, filling their father in on all the details of life on the ranch in his absence. Cassidy sat silently, absorbing the family atmosphere and dreaming of the day when these children would eagerly share their lives with her as they were now doing with their father.
Tarah remained as silent as Cassidy throughout the meal and spoke only when Sam began to tease.
“A new family’s living on the Crowley’s homestead,” Sam said, eyeing his sister.
“Sam.” Tarah’s voice was thick with warning.
“They got three sons, and all three of them want to court Tarah. But she’s smitten with Anthony.”
“Samuel St. John, you’d better hush your mouth right now.”
“Calm down, Tarah,” Dell admonished with a chuckle. “Your brother’s only teasing.”
“You always take his side.” Tarah jumped up from the table and ran out of the room, tears streaming down her face.
A look of bewilderment spread over Dell’s features, and he glanced at Cassidy for support.
She shook her head. “Honestly, Dell.”
“What?” His brow furrowed into a deep frown. “Females,” he muttered. “Boys, if you’re finished with your supper, why don’t you get your chores out of the way, then unload the wagon.”
“Yes, Pa,” came the simultaneous reply, and the two bounded out the door.
“And you, partner,” he said to Jack. “You run along to bed.”
“Aw, Pa, do I have to?”
“No arguments. Come hug me good night.”
“Yes, Pa.” Jack stood and hugged Dell, then looked shyly at Cassidy.
She smiled at him, and his face lit up with a wide grin showing pretty white baby teeth. He walked two steps until he stood before her.
“Do you want me to hug you, too?”
Taken aback, Cassidy nodded. “Why, yes, I think I’d love for you to do that, Jack.” She opened her arms.
The little boy reached up with chubby arms and grabbed her tightly around her neck. She pulled the warm body close, and her heart melted. When he pulled away, his face was glowing. He lifted his chin and planted a wet kiss on her cheek. “G’night, Ma.”
Tears sprang to her eyes at his ready acceptance of her place in his life. “Good night, Jack.” She reached out and tousled his curly head.
Smiling, he headed to bed.
“Oh Dell…”
“He’s a sweet little guy.”
Silently Cassidy nodded and began to clear the table. Looking up, she noticed Emily’s head practically in her plate as her eyes drooped shut.
Dell followed her gaze to the weary child, and the corners of his mouth turned up in a tender smile. Pushing back his chair, he went to her and gathered her up in his strong arms.
He planted a kiss on her forehead and brought her around to Cassidy.
“Good night, Ma,” the little girl said with a yawn.
“Sleep tight, sweetie,” she said quietly. “Dell, where will Emily sleep?”
“She’ll share Tarah’s room. Her bed’s big enough for the two of them until I can make Em a bed of her own.”
“Wait.”
He turned.
“Will this be all right with Tarah?”
“She’s had her own room for sixteen years,” he said with a shrug. “She’ll just have to get used to the idea that she isn’t the only girl now.”
“I’m sure you know best, but don’t be too hard on her if she’s upset about it.”
Dell gave her a wink. “I promise I’ll be kind. I don’t want to destroy your faith in my fathering skills.” He turned and sauntered down the hallway.
Cassidy smiled after him. She loved her husband and hoped things would go smoothly as the children grew accustomed to her presence in their lives. Her mind riveted to Dell’s mother-in-law, and she shuddered involuntarily. The woman had refused to come out for supper, which was fine with Cassidy, but she knew things couldn’t continue as they were indefinitely.
Dear Lord, let things work out, and please help me get through the rough times until they do.
She was half-finished washing the dishes when Dell returned.
“Well?” Cassidy asked.
“Well, what?” Dell grabbed a dish towel.
“How did it go with Tarah?”
“Oh, that. She’s a little put out, but I think she’ll live.”
Cassidy sent him a doubtful look, then took the dish towel from his hands.
“I thought I told you I wouldn’t have a man working in my kitchen.” Cassidy felt her cheeks burn at her bold statement. “I guess this isn’t really my—”
Dell took her wet hands in his. “This is your home to care for as you see fit. You’re my wife, and everyone will have to get used to it.” He bent forward and placed a kiss on her forehead. “But tonight I am going to help you finish these dishes.”
“All right,” she said with a contented sigh. “But just this once.”
They finished cleaning up and had just settled at the table with two steaming cups of coffee when the door opened. Each of the boys came in carrying something from the wagon. For the next few minutes, they carried in crates of books and dishes, pots, and pans—a few mementos from Cassidy’s home.
“Where do I put her things, Pa?”
Everyone stopped what they were doing, and Dell cleared his throat. Softly he said, “Put them in your ma’s room.”
“But, Pa…”
The look Dell gave the boy was gentle but firm. “Your ma’s room,” he repeated.
Luke ducked his head, but not before Cassidy saw tears glisten in his eyes.
“Come on, Luke. Let’s do it.” Sam spoke with defeat edging his voice.
“The room’s been like a shrine,” Dell explained once the boys were out of earshot.
“No one has slept in there since…Anyway, I had it all opened up a few months ago, so it’s ready.”
Fleetingly Cassidy wondered where Dell had slept since his wife’s death but knew this wasn’t the proper time to bring it up.
Sam and Luke returned a moment later still carrying Cassidy’s things. Their faces were ghostly white.
“What’s wrong?” Dell asked with a frown.
“Granny won’t let us in there.”
“What?” Dell bellowed.
Sam’s gaze darted to Cassidy, then back to his father. “Granny said no one is sleeping with you in her daughter’s bed.” His face grew fiery red as he spoke.
Cassidy’s heart wrenched for him. How dare that horrid woman put these children in such an embarrassing situation!
Dell’s face grew red with anger. “You boys go on to bed. I’ll take care of this.”
“Yes, Pa.”
“‘Night, ma’am,” Sam said, echoed by Luke.
“Good night, boys. Sleep well.” She turned back to Dell. “I don’t want to cause problems in your home, Dell.”
“Nonsense. You’re my wife now, and that bedroom is yours. Sit and finish your coffee while I deal with this.”
Cassidy returned to the table and sat while Dell stormed down the hallway. She heard him pound on a door until it opened.
“What do you think you’re doing?” she heard him demand.
“This room belongs to my daughter,” came the icy reply. “I will not have another woman sleeping in her bed.”
“Thunder and lightning, woman. This is my room, and I’ll give it to whomever I choose.”
The woman snorted. “Ha. This was never your bedroom. You slept in the lean-to—most of the time,” she added pointedly. “Until you broke your promise and killed my daughter. Now you bring another woman to this horrible country and plan to do it again.”
Dell’s reply was quiet, filled with controlled anger. “You will remove yourself from this room so that my wife and I can retire for the night.”
“No.”
“Things will change around here whether you like it or not. Cassidy is my wife, and this is where she’ll sleep. With me.”
Cassidy heard a strangled sob from the woman. Next came the sound of her walking stick hard on the floor, followed by the slamming of a door.
When Dell reappeared, Cassidy tried to pretend she hadn’t heard, but she couldn’t stop the tears that flowed.
Silently Dell gathered her into his arms, holding her until the tears subsided, then carried her down the hall. When they reached the bedroom, he hesitated briefly at the door.
“Dell?”
His gaze scanned her face until it rested on her parted lips. He lowered his head and kissed her passionately, almost desperately. Cassidy clung to him, and when he pulled away, she was breathless and wide-eyed.
“Cassidy…”
She shivered at the sound of her name upon his lips.
Dell stepped inside and kicked the door closed behind him.
Dell awoke long before the sun rose. He stroked Cassidy’s silken hair and drank in the sweet scent of lilacs that always seemed to cling to her.
He glanced at his wife, sleeping so peacefully in his arms. She’d given herself to him the last night on the trail—had been so trusting and willing to be his. She had forgiven him so readily each time he’d asked. Dell pressed a kiss to her head, and contentment settled over his heart as she shifted and snuggled in closer to him.
He had hoped for a better welcome for her. What a homecoming it had been! The children were hurt over his sudden arrival with a wife. Had it been a mistake springing his marriage on the family this way? Maybe he should have just hired Cassidy as a housekeeper until they could get used to her. No! He hadn’t wanted her as a hired woman. He’d wanted her exactly where she was. In his arms.
Dell closed his eyes but continued to see the pain reflected in the faces of the three older children. He knew Ellen would continue to spew her venomous words but didn’t know how to stop it. It wasn’t as though he could throw the children’s grandmother out to fend for herself. That she blamed him for Anna’s death was obvious. Of course, she couldn’t blame him any more than he did himself.
With a silent groan, he threw his free arm over his eyes. He’d made such a mess of everything.
Cassidy stirred in his arms and looked up with sleepy eyes. “Everything all right?” she asked, her eyelids already beginning to close again.
“Shh. Everything’s fine, darling,” he whispered, placing another kiss on her temple. “Go back to sleep.”
Cassidy smiled, and within a few seconds, the steady rise and fall of her chest assured Dell she was sleeping again.
Dell closed his eyes, and suddenly Anna’s image invaded his mind. He shifted uneasily at the memory of her sad, pain-contorted face as she told him good-bye. A sudden fear gripped Dell. What if Ellen was right and Cassidy died, too?
Involuntarily his arm tightened about her. Maybe he should settle into the same arrangement he’d had with Anna to avoid that possibility—separate rooms. He cringed at the idea. In the end it hadn’t worked anyway. Anna had found her way into his room one night and two months later had announced her pregnancy. When Jack arrived, she’d died—because he hadn’t kept his word.
Tears clouded his eyes.
But what if God was giving him a second chance to do the right thing? Maybe he had to prove he could keep his word. If he went back to his own room, peace would settle over the house. The children would still have a mother, and he would have a wife—for the most part. Eventually Ellen and the children would grow to accept Cassidy’s presence and maybe even come to love her.
Sitting up in bed, he breathed a resolute sigh. That was the way it was supposed to be. It had to be what God intended all along. He had no right to be in here with Cassidy.
With an ache in the pit of his stomach, he pulled on his clothes and picked up his boots. Throwing one last look at his sleeping wife, he opened the door and tiptoed down the hall toward the lean-to.
A groan escaped Cassidy’s lips as the brilliant sun filtered onto her bed, casting its glow into her eyes. Her grumpy demeanor was soon replaced by a happy smile as she remembered where she was.
Casting a quick glance at the other side of the bed, Cassidy felt her stomach sink. Dell was gone already. Why didn’t he wake her before he left?
Rising with a stretch and a yawn, she spread the covers over the bed, then dressed in a faded cotton calico dress. The first thing she was going to do once she settled in was use the rest of the material she’d bought in Council Grove to make herself a couple of new dresses. Emily could use a couple, too. Cassidy wrapped her hair neatly and pinned it back. She knew Dell liked her hair down, but at thirty-five she wasn’t about to try to get by with a schoolgirl’s hairstyle. As she put the last pin in place, she heard a light tap on her door.
“Yes?”
The door opened with a creak to reveal Dell on the other side.
“Why did you knock on your own bedroom door, silly?” Laughing, she reached to place a kiss on his cheek.
With a jerk, he pulled away as though she’d pinched him, then retreated to a corner.
Stung by the rejection, Cassidy stood immobile, staring at him, filled with questions she dared not ask.
Tortured blue eyes met her gaze.
“What’s happened, Dell?”
“I have something to discuss with you.”
“Go ahead,” she urged.
“This isn’t easy, Cass, but I want you to know I believe it’s for the best.” His words tumbled out. “I’m moving my things into the lean-to.” He averted his gaze.
She frowned. “Do you mean you and I are moving to the lean-to?”
“No.” His reply was short. “Only me.”
“H–have I done something wrong?” Tears pooled in her eyes. “I mean, have I displeased you?”
The compassion on his face made Cassidy cringe. She might not have his lov
e, but she refused to stand for his pity.
Dell strode to her and took her hands. “I think the children will adjust better if I’m not sleeping in the same room with you.”
“I don’t understand.” Cassidy caught her bottom lip between her teeth to stop the trembling. “You’re my husband.”
“You heard Ellen last night. She won’t stop throwing a fit as long as we share Anna’s room.” His voice pleaded with her to understand. “It’ll be too upsetting for the children.”
“If it’s only that,” Cassidy said, relieved, “we’ll both move into the lean-to.”
He dropped her hands and shook his head. “No. It has to be this way.”
Humiliated, she did the only thing she knew to do. Moving around the room, she picked up anything that belonged to Dell and tossed it on the bed. “If this is what you think is best, I’ll pack up your things.”
“Leave them. I’ll come back later,” he said softly.
With one last effort, Cassidy followed, and when he turned, they were nearly touching. “Are you sure this is what you want?”
He dipped his head and brushed a painfully gentle kiss on her lips. “I’m sorry, but it’ll be better for everyone this way.”
“Everyone but me,” Cassidy muttered three mornings later as she reflected on their conversation. Standing in the barn, she buried her head in her horse’s mane and sighed. She hadn’t allowed herself the luxury of tears when anyone was around. But when she was alone, they came without warning, and she couldn’t have stopped them if she’d tried.
“He doesn’t want me after all, Abby,” she whispered to the black horse.
She’d been a happy bride for two days. Had felt cherished and hopeful that she could be a good wife and mother. Now it was over. Dell had made it clear that she simply didn’t measure up to his expectations and that he regretted the marriage. Oh, he’d said it was for the sake of the children, but Cassidy knew better.
Brides of Kansas Page 9
