“How awful for you. I’m truly sorry.”
Ellen continued as though Cassidy hadn’t spoken. “The worst part about it was that Anna didn’t have to die. If Dell had just left her alone…She was small and delicate, like Olive, and shouldn’t have carried one child, let alone four. Dell knew that, but he didn’t seem to care.”
Resentment welled up within Cassidy at the criticism, but unwilling to lose her newfound ally, she said nothing.
A tear rolled down Ellen’s wrinkled cheek. “And now the same thing will happen to Olive.”
“I don’t know,” Cassidy soothed. “Olive seems pretty robust to me.”
Ellen’s hand came down hard on the wooden tabletop. “It’s this country! This wretched land. It’s harsh and unyielding for women. We work and work until finally we die, one way or another.”
Ellen’s thoughtful gaze scanned Cassidy’s face, then moved down to her stomach. She drew a breath. “I rattled on too long. You must take care of yourself and stay strong.”
Cassidy’s mind was reeling from the woman’s outburst. Still, her eyes felt heavy as a wave of fatigue swept over her.
“I am tired,” she admitted.
“Then you must go and lie down.”
With a nod, Cassidy stood and reached to pick up a dish.
Ellen placed a restraining hand on her arm. “I’ll just finish my coffee and clean up this mess.”
Cassidy hesitated, then nodded. “All right,” she said. Making her way to her bedroom, she stopped and turned. “Many women thrive on the prairie and bear children who thrive as well. I am so very sorry for the loss of your daughter. But you mustn’t blame Dell or yourself for her death.”
Ellen stared silently at the cup in her hands.
“I’ll be going now,” Cassidy said softly. “Thank you for your kindness today.”
Dell reined in his roan mare and dismounted. After two weeks away from home, he was ready for a hot meal, a bath, and a comfortable bed.
“Take care of my horse, will you, Johnny?” he asked, slinging his saddlebags over his shoulder.
“Sure, boss.”
They had gotten a good price for the cattle. This had been the most profitable year so far for the ranch, and he’d splurged on little surprises for his family. Anxious to pass out the gifts, he sauntered toward the house, grinning in anticipation. He expected the door to burst open any moment and five happy children to run out to greet him. When the door remained shut, he frowned, wondering where everyone could be.
He opened the door slowly and stepped inside. “Hello!” he called.
“For pity’s sake, be quiet. You’ll wake Cassidy.” Ellen sat in the wooden rocker before the fireplace, knitting in her hands. Something Dell hadn’t seen her do in months.
“Mother, it’s good to see you feeling well enough to be up in your chair.” He glanced around. “Where are the children?”
“Jack is napping. The others are at school.”
“Oh, good, the new teacher arrived, then.” Dell deposited his dusty saddlebags on the table. Receiving a scolding frown from Ellen, he snatched them back up and swiped at the dust on the table. He tossed the bags into a corner. “I’ll get those out of the way soon as I get something to eat.”
“There’s some bread, already sliced, wrapped up on the kitchen counter and some preserves in the cupboard. And don’t make a mess.”
Dell’s eyebrows shot up, wondering what had brought about such a change in his mother-in-law. Rather than question her, he decided to count his blessings and let it go.
He grabbed the bread and took it to the table, devouring it ravenously, without the preserves. “Everything okay while I was away?”
“Of course,” Ellen replied tersely. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Did you say Cass is sleeping?” Concern filled him. “She sick?”
Silence filled the air long enough that Dell thought maybe she hadn’t heard him. He was about to repeat the question when she spoke up.
“Cassidy needs rest. She does twice as much around here as anyone in the house and just got herself tired out. She’ll be fine, but she needs to slow down some.”
Concern turned to fear as a gnawing sensation crept through his midsection. “What do you mean?”
“Just what I said.” Annoyance sharpened her tone. “You’ve got to get her to rest more.”
If Ellen was concerned about Cassidy, something had to be wrong.
“Mother, just tell me if Cassidy is ill.”
“Didn’t you hear what I said? She needs more rest, that’s all. Make her rest. And she especially needs to stay out of that garden during the heat of the day.”
Dell lifted his arms in helpless appeal and let them drop to his knees. “Then what do you suggest I do?” He wished she would stop rocking and knitting and just look at him.
As if she’d read his thoughts, she sat still in the chair and gave him a steady gaze. “It might not hurt to have a little fun around here. Things have been rather dismal since you brought her, through no fault of her own, I might add.”
Dell squirmed like a young boy who’d been caught doing something wrong, and he found himself wishing she would go back to her rocking and knitting. Something had most certainly happened while he was away. He never thought he’d see the day Ellen would champion Cassidy.
Ellen shrugged, resuming her knitting. “A late summer picnic down by the creek wouldn’t be a bad idea. The children would love it, and the relaxation would do Cassidy some good.”
Actually, it was a wonderful idea. Dell stood and closed the distance between them. Bending, he gave her a peck on the cheek. “You’re a genius.”
She jerked her head away as though the kiss had defiled her. “Do not think I can be charmed the way the younger women can, Dell St. John. I see you for the selfish man you are. You as good as killed my Anna, and now you’re doing the same thing to—” She stopped abruptly and returned with a vengeance to her knitting.
With a shake of his head, Dell returned to the saddlebags, reached down, and grabbed them. Strolling down the hall, he reached inside one of the bags and withdrew a small package. He tapped lightly on Cassidy’s door, and when he received no answer, he gently pushed it open. His heart lurched at the sight of her sleeping soundly on the bed they had shared one night. With effort, he pushed the image away.
With a frown, he examined her face. Ellen was right. Cassidy was overworking herself. She was pale, and dark smudges colored the skin below her eyes. His heart nearly stopped as she stirred, turning to one side. He laid the package on the bureau, wincing as it made a crinkling noise, and slowly backed out of the room.
“Ma!”
Cassidy jolted awake as Emily burst through the bedroom door.
The young girl bounded onto the bed, jostling Cassidy. “I love school! Miss Nelson is just beautiful and so nice.” Emily threw her arms around Cassidy and held tightly. “She said I was real smart, Ma.”
Returning the embrace, Cassidy breathed a relieved sigh. The little girl had adjusted to her new home better than Cassidy had dared hope. There was an immediate rapport between Jack and Emily, and Tarah had taken her new sister under her wing. Emily adored Sam and laughed uproariously at Luke’s antics, thus endearing her to the ornery boy.
“Sweetheart, I’m so glad you had such a nice day.”
Emily wiggled free and sat staring with rapture on her face.
“Did you make any new friends?”
Her braids bobbed as she nodded vigorously. “Becky Simpson is my age, too. She just moved here last month and didn’t know anyone either, so we decided to be best friends. Her pa’s the new doctor. Miss Nelson said she was real smart, just like me.”
It appeared the teacher was not only beautiful and nice but pretty smart herself. Cassidy smiled.
Emily hopped off the bed. “I have to go say hi to Pa.”
Pa?
“Wait, Em. Dell’s home?”
“Uh-huh,” the little girl answered as she
ran from the room.
Cassidy’s heart fluttered. She stood up and smoothed the quilt back over the bed. Walking to the bureau, she grabbed her comb and started to run it through her hair, but she stopped short as her gaze fell on a small brown package.
Realizing it could only be from Dell, she picked it up with trembling hands and carefully opened the gift. Lilac water. Tears welled in her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. He had bought her lilac water. He must have noticed she had run out awhile back.
Is there hope after all, Lord?
She placed a tender hand on her stomach. “You have a wonderful pa, little one,” she whispered. “I only hope…”
Dell was such a good father, but he had made it clear he didn’t want more children.
A smile played at the corners of her lips. It was too late for that now. Their child was growing inside her, and he would just have to get used to it. That is, when she got up the nerve to tell him.
Chapter 9
Squeals of delight greeted Cassidy as she stepped into the sitting room a few moments later.
“Ma, look what Pa brung me,” shouted Jack. He was dressed in a war bonnet, long enough to drag on the floor. With a war whoop good enough to put any Indian to shame, he bounded out the front door. Seconds later, the sound of squawking and clucking confirmed he was wreaking havoc on the unsuspecting chickens scratching in the yard.
Dell stood from his place next to the front window and observed Cassidy, his brow creased in an anxious frown. “Here, come and sit,” he said, holding on to the back of the wooden chair. “You’re still peaked.”
Cassidy moved to the seat and lowered herself. “Thank you,” she murmured, flustered by his closeness.
“You smell of lilacs again,” he said softly.
“Yes, thanks; it was thoughtful of you to realize I was out of my favorite scent.”
“It’s my favorite scent, too.” His low voice brought a shiver up and down her spine. “I’ve missed it.”
Sam cleared his throat loudly. “Thanks for the new rifle, Pa,” he said. “Maybe you and me can go huntin’ Sunday.”
Dell shook his head. “We have plans for Sunday, son.”
Everyone stopped and stared at him curiously.
“What plans?” asked Tarah.
“We’re going on a picnic down by the creek.” He threw a wink at Ellen, who frowned and rocked harder in her chair. “Your granny here thinks we need a little family fun, and I’m inclined to agree.” He glanced around the room, eyeing each of the children sternly. “We’ve been a bunch of old sourpusses too long. We’re going to pack us a lunch and take a ball to play with and maybe even take a dip in the creek or go fishing.”
“Hey, I can try out the new rod you brought me!” said Luke. Then his face darkened. “Aw, we can’t go Sunday.”
“Why’s that?” Dell asked with a frown.
“The preacher’s going to be in town this Sunday,” Luke said with unconcealed disappointment. “Mr. Anderson came to the school today and told us to tell our folks.”
Cassidy’s heart skipped a beat. A real church service. She’d had no fellowship with believers since they left the wagon train. The thought thrilled her to the very core of her being.
“That’s right,” Tarah confirmed.
Dell’s face clouded over. “Well, thunder and lightning,” he muttered with a tentative glance at Ellen. “I suppose you’ll be wanting to go to the service?”
“Naturally.”
“We’ll make it another time, then.” Disappointment edged his voice. “I’m going to get cleaned up before supper.”
Silence descended upon the room as he made his way down the hall to the lean-to.
“Aw, Granny,” Sam spoke up, “couldn’t we just skip the service?”
“Certainly not, young man. Sunday is the Lord’s Day, and if He has seen fit to bless us with a preacher, we will not dishonor Him by going on a picnic instead. Now go do your chores.”
“Yes’m,” he replied meekly.
Cassidy’s heart went out to the group of disappointed children. After all, they hadn’t grown up with church services. A picnic sounded like just the thing to cheer them up.
Suddenly an idea came to her. “Maybe we could prepare everything Saturday night and have the picnic after church.”
All pairs of eyes turned to Ellen in question.
“Well, I suppose that would be all right,” she said grudgingly. “As long as we honor the Lord first.”
The children let out a cheer. If Granny said it was okay, then it was settled.
An unbidden quiver of resentment welled up inside Cassidy. She was their mother, after all. Granted, not in the natural sense, but she was in her heart. They shouldn’t have to ask their grandmother’s permission to do something she suggested. She squelched the irritation with a sigh of resignation. Maybe in time.
The rest of the week passed in a whirl of activity. The children left for school each day filled with excitement. Emily just “loved” her teacher and had found a kindred spirit in her little friend, Becky.
Tarah seemed to enjoy school, as well, and brought homework to complete each night. She didn’t mention their agreement about school, and Cassidy hoped the girl would forget all about quitting school and continue her education. Sam, from what Cassidy had gathered from Tarah’s teasing, was smitten with the new doctor’s older daughter, Camilla Simpson, Becky’s sister. And true to his mischievous self, Luke had placed a bent nail on Randall Scott’s chair and had been sent to the corner not once but twice during the week. He was severely scolded by his pa, who warned it would be a trip to the woodshed next time.
For Cassidy, the week was filled with the wonder of her pregnancy. More than once, she’d been tempted to reveal her secret to Dell, but he’d been withdrawn and sullen again after the news of the preacher coming through the area. So she enjoyed her secret in silence, hoping Ellen wouldn’t tell Dell before she found the right time to do it herself.
Saturday night, Ellen, Tarah, and Cassidy quickly cleared away the supper dishes and went about preparing their picnic lunch for the following afternoon. Dell had slaughtered two chickens earlier in the day, and Ellen cut them into pieces, then fried them to a golden brown. Cassidy carefully shucked and boiled a mound of corn, still on the cob, then mixed together a batch of corn muffins. Tarah completed the feast by baking a fluffy white cake, marbled with brown sugar and cinnamon.
Once the children were settled in bed, Cassidy stepped onto the porch to escape the heat of the kitchen. Catching a cool breeze, she lifted her head slightly and closed her eyes. A feeling of contentment swept over her as she thought of the family God had given her. True, it wasn’t what she’d always planned, but she wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. “Lord,” she breathed, “thank You so much for the blessings You’ve brought to my life.”
A short laugh startled her, and her eyes flew open. Turning, she spied Dell strolling toward her from a shadowy corner of the porch.
“Honestly, Dell,” she said. “You scared me half to death.”
“You were completely oblivious. What if I’d been an Indian?”
“Would you stop bringing that up? No Indian is going to sneak up on me while I’m standing on my own front porch.”
“You never know.” Dell shrugged. He stared intently into her eyes. “You were thanking God for your blessings. Did you mean it?”
Cassidy’s mind flew to the child growing inside of her, and joy filled her.
“Oh Dell, I’m so happy—happier than I ever thought possible.”
A sense of glee washed over her at Dell’s stung look. Well, admittedly, she could be happier. But it was Dell’s decision that they live apart, and she was tired of moping around about it. She wouldn’t fight him anymore or be angry with him. For the children’s sakes, she would try to give them a natural happy home, even if things weren’t natural and happy between their father and herself.
“Will you come to the service with us in the mo
rning?” she asked.
“No.” The answer was clipped, meant to end the subject, but Cassidy felt compelled to press.
“It would mean a lot to the children…and me.”
Dell’s expression softened. He reached out his hand and brushed lightly at her cheek.
Cassidy closed her eyes. He hadn’t touched her like that in so long, she’d almost forgotten how gentle his hands could be on her. A gentle sigh escaped her lips.
“Cass,” he said, his voice husky and low. He stepped forward, claiming her lips with his own.
Cassidy responded with a fervor to match his. Oh Lord, please! She loved her husband and wanted him back where he was supposed to be.
Dell groaned and tore his lips away. “Go inside,” he said softly. After a last tortured glance, he walked down the porch steps and headed for the barn.
With a sigh of resignation, Cassidy went back inside. She paused at the boys’ bedroom and glanced in. Three angelic sleeping faces greeted her. She paused for a moment, watching them, then closed the door lightly. Next she checked on the girls and found Emily sound asleep, while Tarah sat propped against the headboard, reading a book.
“Good night, Tarah,” she said softly.
The girl looked up, resentment in her eyes.
“I wouldn’t stay up too late,” Cassidy ventured. “We have a busy day tomorrow.”
“I’m fine.”
Cassidy shrugged. “Good night, then.”
She stepped inside her empty bedroom and wearily changed into her nightgown.
Reaching up, she removed the pins from her hair and shook her head, letting the tresses cascade down her back. She gave her hair one hundred strokes, then stood. Making her way to the inviting bed, she pulled back the covers. A gasp escaped her lips as a black snake, free of the confining quilt, slithered from her bed and onto the floor. An ear-piercing scream tore at her throat before blackness claimed her.
Brides of Kansas Page 11
