MB04 - Down Our Street

by Joan Jonker

  ‘Yer’ll never guess! Not in a month of Sundays will yer guess! Honest, sunshine, I couldn’t believe me eyes or me ears.’

  Nellie pulled a chair from the table and plonked herself down. ‘If yer don’t tell me quick, girl, either you or me is going to have a heart attack. And if I have a heart attack, twelve days before the wedding, when I haven’t even had me posh hat on once, well, I’ll have something to say about it, I’m telling yer! And what about me dress and jacket that Doreen made, and what makes me look like a film star, eh, tell me that?’

  ‘Nellie, yer’ll be bringing a heart attack on yerself if yer don’t watch out. Now just sit nice and calm, so me chair can relax, while I tell yer about me visitor.’

  ‘Yer mean yer’ve had a visitor, this early in the morning? And yer didn’t even think to give us a knock?’

  ‘Will yer shut up and listen, sunshine, before I clock yer one?’ Molly leaned her elbows on the table and laced her fingers under her chin. ‘When the knock came, I naturally thought it was you. So yer can imagine the shock I got when I opened the door and saw Fanny Kemp standing there! I didn’t know whether to scream, faint, or close the door in her face.’

  ‘Fanny Kemp!’ It was over a week since the incident in the butcher’s and they hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Fanny or Theresa. ‘What did she want? Did she come to cause trouble?’

  Molly shook her head. ‘Not a bit of it, she was as meek as a kitten. I was expecting a slanging match outside me front door, and had visions of all the neighbours coming out, but she never even raised her voice. She asked if she could have a word with me, and when I said it depended on what she had to say because I had no intention of getting into an argument, she told me, very quietly, that she hadn’t come to cause trouble.’ Molly anchored a lock of hair behind her ear and shook her head as though she still couldn’t believe what had happened. ‘She didn’t tell me in so many words, like, but reading between the lines I think her husband created merry hell when the feller in the paper shop refused to serve him his paper and fags. And when he was told why the man had taken the decision to bar him from the shop, he went even more mad! Now I don’t know her husband, only to pass the time of day, but I’d say he’s laid the law down with her. So the brave Fanny is now trying to mend fences and put things right. She wanted to know if I would kindly have a word with Tony, to see if he will take her and Theresa back as customers.’

  The creaking of the chair came before Nellie’s laugh. ‘Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Well, that’s made my day, girl, that has. And what did yer say to her? Did yer tell her to go take a running jump?’

  ‘It’s hard to do that when someone is standing there all docile and polite. And, now this might be my bad mind, Nellie, so I don’t want yer repeating it to anyone, but I’d swear she’s had a belter of a black eye ’cos there’s still traces of it.’

  ‘That’s why we haven’t seen her or Theresa around for the past week. I wondered where they’d got to, and now I know.’ Nellie pondered as she pressed at the dimples in her elbow, making deep dents in the flesh. ‘I don’t hold with a man hitting a woman though. I’d have given her a go-along meself, but that’s woman against woman. A man is a different kettle of fish.’

  ‘Perhaps she drove him to it,’ Molly said. ‘Yer know what she’s like when she starts, she’s no control over her tongue. Anyway, whatever he did, and for whatever reason, it’s brought her to her senses. She won’t be spilling the beans to Frank Sheild, that’s for sure.’

  ‘Did she tell yer that, girl?’

  ‘She said she probably wouldn’t have said anything to him anyway, but we both know that’s a load of cobblers. She’s only saying that to save her face and because her husband put his foot down. Anyway, Mavis doesn’t have to worry any more, thanks to Tony and the other shopkeepers, so that’s a blessing. But yer can bet yer sweet life that in a few weeks, when this has died down, Fanny and Theresa will be picking on some other poor bugger.’

  ‘Why didn’t Theresa come with her?’ Nellie lifted a hand before Molly could answer. ‘I know, she didn’t have the guts. Without Fanny to stand behind, Theresa Brown wouldn’t say boo to a goose. Frightened of her own shadow, she is.’

  ‘Well, it’s water under the bridge now – a problem solved, thank goodness.’

  ‘Yer still haven’t told me what yer said to her! About having a word with Tony, I mean.’

  ‘I told her I thought she should have the decency to ask Tony herself, because he wouldn’t think much of her for getting someone else to do her dirty work for her. And I got my twopennyworth in by saying she’d asked for it, because what she and Theresa were planning to do was wicked.’

  ‘Good for you, girl! And what did she have to say to that?’

  ‘That’s when she told me they probably wouldn’t have said anything to Frank, anyway. But I’d take that with a pinch of salt. She mightn’t have the nerve to face Tony, but we’ll find out later when we go shopping. Right now I’m gasping for a cuppa, me mouth feels like sawdust. It’s been an exciting start to the day.’

  Nellie heard the kettle being filled as she mulled over what she’d heard. Molly had been right, she’d never have guessed in a million years that Fanny Kemp would come knocking on the door, cap in hand. Still, it took all sorts to make a world and there was nowt so queer as folk.

  ‘Ay, girl, where’s your Doreen?’ Nellie called through to the kitchen. ‘Wasn’t she supposed to be finishing work on Saturday?’

  ‘She did, sunshine. She had an extra half-an-hour lie in, then after breakfast she went over to Miss Clegg’s. Phil carried the sewing machine over last night, and Doreen’s going to make my dress over there. It’s to keep Victoria company, really, and Doreen will be quite happy sewing and nattering away, ’cos she loves the bones of the old lady.’

  ‘I’ll tell yer what, girl, she made a ruddy good job of my dress and jacket. I couldn’t have got better if I’d gone to the poshest shop in Liverpool and paid a fortune. I tried it on for Lizzie Corkhill before taking it up to her spare bedroom, and she couldn’t believe Doreen had made it. And it goes a treat with me hat.’

  Molly came through carrying a tray set with teapot, cups, sugar basin, milk jug and a plate with some arrowroot biscuits on. ‘I want no wisecracks, sunshine, ’cos I’ve gone all lah-de-dah. One crack and the tray goes back and yer get a cup stuck in yer hand.’

  Nellie was quick to grab a couple of biscuits. ‘I’m holding on to these, girl, just in case. I don’t have any intention of making a wisecrack, but me tongue is a bit like Fanny Kemp’s, it has a mind of its own.’

  ‘Yer’ve got no manners, Nellie McDonough. I’d be ashamed to take yer anywhere.’

  ‘That’s a fine way to talk to yer future sister-in-law, I must say.’

  ‘Where d’yer get that from! Yer don’t half get some cockeyed ideas, Nellie, honest yer do! You and me won’t be sisters-in-law, yer daft nit.’

  Nellie was munching happily away on an arrowroot biscuit, and when she spoke, crumbs flew out of her mouth. ‘What will we be, then?’

  ‘Just the same as we are now! The difference will be, I’ll be Steve’s mother-in-law and you’ll be Jill’s mother-in-law.’ Molly rolled her eyes to the ceiling. ‘God help the girl, I wonder if she knows what she’s letting herself in for?’

  ‘She should do, seeing as I’ve known her since the day she was born. Anyway, our Steve has told her what to expect so she can be prepared. He’s warned her that I throw things around the house when I get in one of me tempers, that me bad language has been known to turn the air blue, and I’ve got some really filthy habits.’

  Molly smiled as she reached across the table to take hold of one of Nellie’s chubby hands. ‘And did he tell her she’d have a mate for life, like I have? You and me are better than sisters-in-law, sunshine, we’re best mates.’

  ‘Slow down, will yer, girl, I can’t walk as fast as you.’ Nellie was puffing and blowing. ‘What’s the big rush, anyway?’

  ‘I’m
dying to know if Fanny’s been to see Tony.’

  ‘Two minutes isn’t going to make any difference. Don’t forget, I’m carrying more weight around than you are.’

  ‘I’m sorry, sunshine, I keep forgetting. Let’s stop for a while until yer get yer breath back. As yer say, two minutes isn’t going to make any difference.’

  Nellie’s chubby face creased. ‘It would if yer had a noose around yer neck, girl! I mean, yer wouldn’t want to hang around for two minutes then, would yer?’

  ‘If yer’ve enough breath to talk, Nellie McDonough, then yer’ve enough breath to walk slowly. So come on, tuck yer arm in and we’ll take it nice and easy.’

  They’d only gone a few yards at a snail’s pace, when Nellie said, ‘I don’t know, anyone would think yer were eighty, ye’re that ruddy slow. If I had a whip I’d be cracking it on yer backside to make yer gee up. In fact, I’m going to walk on and yer can catch me up when yer decide to put a move on.’

  ‘You cheeky bugger!’

  Nellie tutted, put on a sad expression and shook her head. ‘One minute I’m yer best mate, the next I’m a cheeky bugger. It’s no wonder I’ve got one of those inferoty things.’

  ‘I know what yer mean, sunshine, an inferiority complex.’

  ‘Oh, have you got one too, girl? Well, I never knew that! It just goes to show that yer learn something new every day.’

  Tony and Ellen heard their laughter before the two women came into view. ‘They’re two good mates, yer neighbours, aren’t they?’ Tony said. ‘I imagine they’d stick together through thick and thin.’

  Ellen nodded. ‘I don’t need to tell yer how good they’ve been to me, ’cos yer know. The day they talked yer into giving me this job, I didn’t even have a penny to put in the gas meter. Me and the kids would have been out on the streets but for Molly and Nellie. I owe them more than anyone will know.’

  ‘Good morning, Tony – morning, Ellen!’ Molly’s face was alive with eagerness. ‘Well, has Fearsome Fanny been in to see yer?’

  ‘She has indeed.’ Tony put a finger under the rim of his straw hat and pushed it back off his forehead. ‘And from here she went to the other shops. I’ve been down to see Andy and Mike, and they say the same as me. Yer wouldn’t have believed it was the same person. Gone was the tough, loud-mouthed fishwife, and in her place stood a lamb. As nice as pie she was, and very apologetic.’

  Nellie and her chins nodded knowingly. ‘Her husband’s had a go at her.’

  ‘I believe he has, Nellie, I believe he has. She said she would have been in sooner but she hasn’t been well. Now, if yer add that to what Andy said about Mr Kemp blowing his top when he refused to serve him, it seems to point to that. Apparently he left the shop blazing with anger and threatening to knock the stuffing out of his wife.’

  ‘I hope she’s back in favour with everyone, even though I haven’t got much time for the woman,’ Molly said. ‘If her husband’s given her a go-along, and she’s had to pocket her pride and apologise to everyone … well, I think that’s punishment enough.’

  ‘I agree, Molly, and that’s why I told her she and Theresa are welcome back and all is forgiven. I don’t believe in holding a grudge.’

  ‘So all Mavis has got to worry about now is her own children.’ Nellie had her doubts about them. ‘They’re only young, it’ll be a miracle if they don’t let anything slip.’

  ‘There’s nothing we can do about that, Nellie, it’s out of our hands.’ Tony leaned over the counter and gave a broad wink. ‘But I have got something to put a smile on yer face.’

  Within seconds Nellie became an actress. With her hands over where she thought her heart was, a lovesick look in her eyes and a catch in her voice, she purred, ‘Oh Tony, I’ve waited fifteen years to hear yer say that, my darling. I’ve known all along how yer felt about me and I’ve been grieved that yer were too shy to bring your love out into the open.’ She fell back against the counter and put the back of a hand on her forehead. ‘I feel weak with happiness, heart of my heart. But did yer really have to declare your love in the middle of a bleedin’ butcher’s shop?’

  Molly stopped laughing long enough to say, ‘Watch yer language, sunshine.’

  To which Nellie replied, ‘You watch me language, girl, I’m too busy.’ Her eyes on Tony, she asked, ‘How big is yer stockroom, lover boy?’

  ‘Too small for what you have in mind, Nellie! Small, cold and blood everywhere.’

  ‘Oh, woe is me, I’ve been denied again. Am I never to know the joy of your heart beating against mine, Tony, or feel the passion in your kisses as you hold me in your arms?’

  ‘Nellie, ye’re getting carried away.’ The butcher was glad there were no customers in the shop listening to this. It wouldn’t be so bad if they knew Nellie, they’d hang around and have a good laugh. But there were others who wouldn’t see the funny side. ‘When I said I had something to put a smile on yer face, I was talking about shin beef!’

  ‘Shin beef!’ Nellie stood to attention. ‘Yer mean yer’ve got some shin beef in?’

  Tony nodded. ‘I thought that would please yer.’

  ‘Well, I mean no disrespect to yer Tony, but I’d rather have a pound of shin beef any day than the other thing yer were offering me.’

  While Ellen turned away to hide her blushes, Molly tutted. ‘Nellie, ye’re going too far!’

  ‘Too far? Yer heard what the man said, his stockroom is too small, too cold and there’s blood everywhere. We’d have to be ruddy contortionists to go too far in there. But I’m not feeling rejected, girl, not when there’s a pound of shin beef in the offing.’

  ‘Half a pound of shin beef, Nellie,’ Tony corrected her. ‘And I’ll have to have yer ration books for it. But because yer’ve been let down in love, I’ll throw a quarter pound of stewing steak in to cheer yer up. That goes for you as well, Molly.’

  ‘Thanks, Tony.’ Molly opened her bag to get out the ration books. ‘Ye’re a pal.’

  ‘Well, I’ll be buggered.’ Nellie’s indignant act was one of her best. And right now she was excelling herself. ‘Here am I, the injured party what’s been cast aside in love, and me mate benefits from it. It’s a swindle, that’s what it is.’

  Molly tapped her on the shoulder. ‘Count yerself lucky, sunshine, and shut up before Tony changes his mind. And let’s see the colour of yer ration book.’

  The two friends were walking back from the shops when Molly asked, ‘How’s your Lily’s love-life? On the move or standing still?’

  ‘Like a ruddy waltz, girl – one step forward then one to the side. I don’t know whether she’d go dancing with Archie if Paul didn’t go along. And if I ask any questions, all I get is, “Archie’s a good friend, Mam, and lots of fun to be with”. So I’m best doing what George says, and leaving them to get on with it. Archie is smitten with her, it’s written all over him, but she’s playing things close to her chest. I’ve tried sounding Paul out, but he’s too busy having fun himself to think about anyone else. He did say Lily enjoys herself when they go out, and she’s up for every dance, but that’s about it.’

  ‘So there’s no romance on the cards?’

  ‘No, girl, I don’t think there’s any romance on the cards. Not yet, anyway.’

  Archie was of the same mind when he called at the McDonoughs’ that night. He didn’t seem to be getting anywhere with Lily. They danced nearly every dance together now because Paul had decided that dancing with his own sister wasn’t exactly up his street. And they shared the same sense of fun, although her humour wasn’t as sharp as his. She was always friendly with him and linked his arm on the nights he took her home when Paul had met someone who took his fancy. But even when they were linking arms, she still kept him at a distance. So much so, he wouldn’t have dared ask for a goodnight kiss.

  While he was waiting for someone to answer his knock, Archie made up his mind that tonight he would ask Lily if she’d come to the pictures with him one night. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. But when she opene
d the door to him, still in her working dress and her face wearing no make-up, his heart sank.

  ‘Come in, Archie.’ Lily stood aside to let him pass. ‘I’m afraid ye’re on yer own tonight, our Paul’s got a date.’

  He smiled a greeting at Nellie and George before saying, ‘There’s no reason why we can’t go. We don’t need Paul to hold our hands.’

  ‘I’ve told her that, the silly article,’ Nellie huffed, ‘but she said yer mightn’t want to take her without Paul, and she wasn’t going to get ready and put yer in the position where yer had to take her whether yer liked it or not.’

  ‘That’s daft, that, because we don’t see much of Paul when we get to the dance.’ Archie told himself it was now or never. ‘Go and get ready, Lily, I’m not going on me own.’

  ‘But it’ll take me ages to get ready – I haven’t even been washed yet!’

  George came in on Archie’s side. ‘A cat’s lick and a promise, love, that’s all yer need. If yer put a move on yer could be ready in twenty minutes.’

  ‘If you won’t go with him, I will,’ Nellie grinned. ‘Do they still do the Black Bottom, Archie? I used to shine at that.’

  Archie feigned horror and appealed to Lily. ‘Go and get ready, quick!’

  She giggled. ‘I can just see it! You and me mam doing the Black Bottom.’

  ‘And I could teach him the shimmy-shimmy-shake!’ Nellie said, for good measure. ‘That’s something else I was good at.’

  George winked at his daughter. ‘Go and get ready, love, before your mam frightens the life out of the lad.’

  ‘I don’t frighten easily, Mr McDonough,’ Archie said as Lily left the room to dash up the stairs. ‘But I’ve got to admit the Black Bottom and the shimmy-shimmy-shake do send a shiver of apprehension down me spine.’

  ‘The wife has the same effect on me.’ With George you never knew whether he was speaking seriously or whether what he was saying was in fun because he had the ability to keep his face straight. ‘I feel a shiver running down me spine every time she opens her mouth.’