In a Handful of Dust

by McGinnis,Mindy

  “Sorry, Nora,” she said, before striking. “I kinda liked you.”

  UNCORRECTED E-PROOF—NOT FOR SALE

  HarperCollins Publishers

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  Thirty-Three

  She’d never been in the hallway in the middle of the night. The blackness was so deep Lucy couldn’t see her hand in front of her face, and had to feel the walls until she reached the stairwell. The walk felt infinite because of her blind, measured steps, and the slow simmer of panic began deep in her gut as Lucy wondered if she’d made a mistake and was on the wrong side of the hall. If Nora was conscious before they were gone, she could only imagine what Lander and Ben would do. She doubted the grisly contraption in the desert was the only machine Ben had created.

  The stairwell door wheezed open beneath her hand and she inched forward, toes reaching for the drop-off of the first step, hands flailing for the railing. She found it and latched on, counting each step and sliding her foot forward once she reached the landing, her hands following the curve of the railing as she made the turn to the next set of stairs. The barest smear of gray marked the window in the stairwell door, and Lucy emerged into the lobby to the pulsing light of clouds racing across the face of the moon.

  She hit the outside doors at a run now that she could see, the cool desert air threaded through with the smell of rain rolling in. A bank of black clouds lined with the reflected silver of the moon were piling on top of each other to the west, and Lucy could smell the electricity in the air. A storm was coming. A homegrown surge of elation at the promise of rain lent new strength to her legs, and Lucy sprinted past the sand-filled fountains into the lobby of the hotel Lynn now shared with Lander and Ben.

  Lucy burst into the lobby and came to a sudden halt. She had no idea where Lynn would be. She could assume Lander and Ben would live on the first floor, as the rising heat would make it unbearable to live any higher. They would probably have Lynn nearby to keep an eye on her, but Lucy could hardly go down the hall knocking on doors when she didn’t even know which room Lander and Ben used.

  “Shit,” she said to herself. Lucy peered into a window, teeth sinking into her lip as she thought. A fat drop of rain hit the glass, sliding down to leave a streak in the grime, and inspiration struck. Lucy raced outside, looking for a fluttering curtain. Even though nights were cool, the trapped air inside still baked with the heat of the day long into the night, and Lucy slept with her window open, anxious for the freshness of outside air.

  She could only hope Lynn did too.

  The face of the hotel stared at her blankly, curtains drawn. A rumble of thunder rolled through the desert, shaking the ground beneath her feet. Lucy’s panic grew with it, taking over her body and sending a spasm of fear down her spine. She ran to the back of the hotel, tripping over her own feet in her haste and flying out of control, skidding on her knees and crying out as her jeans gave way and then her skin.

  Lightning flickered and she pulled her knees up to her chin, the black threads of blood mixing with the tattered denim. Tears of frustration pooled in her eyes, and Lucy swiped at them viciously as she tried to stand. The thunder boomed again, seconds after the lightning, and this time the vibration was so great Lucy could hear thousands of windows rattling in their panes.

  Movement caught her eye and Lucy lunged for the Taser, springing to her feet. Only a few feet away a white hand was pressed against the window, aching to touch the fat spattering of raindrops as they struck the glass.

  “Lynn,” Lucy breathed, but the other woman hadn’t seen her yet, only drawn to the window by the storm. Lucy shuffled toward her, wincing with pain as the newly exposed pink skin on her knees stretched with every movement. The top of her head barely reached the windowsill, and she had to stand on her tiptoes to reach the glass, her own hand spread against it.

  Soon she felt the answering warmth of Lynn’s hand pressed against hers from the other side.

  There was a guard at Lynn’s door, a man whom Lucy had exchanged nods with as she passed him in the city from day to day. He was asleep, and the gray line of light that fell from Lynn’s cracked door made his spasms all the more gruesome as Lucy tased him. She hadn’t been able to see the grimaces of pain on Nora’s face, only hear the bucking as she convulsed in the dark. When he was still, Lucy looked up at Lynn, hating the tears that ran down her face as she did.

  “Huh,” Lynn said. “I guess those things are useful after all.” She was dressed in her clothes from the road, her backpack drawn tight against her shoulder blades.

  “We have to be fast,” Lucy said, as Lynn dragged the unconscious man into her room and shut the door behind them. “I knocked Nora out too. Once they find out, we’re dead.”

  “Probably,” Lynn agreed. “But we can’t leave without my gun. There’s more danger between here and Sand City. We can’t face it with two Tasers that’ll run out of batteries.”

  “Shit, Lynn,” Lucy said. “We have to go now! They’re . . .” Her words failed, cut off in her throat by the memory of dark red against white sand. “They’re drinking people. We’ve been drinking people.”

  Lynn took one Taser from Lucy, face grim. “I’m not going to ask what you mean by that until we’re out of here. In the meantime, I’m sorry if this hurts much.”

  “If what hurts?” Lucy asked a second before Lynn zapped her.

  Lucy felt a strange vibration coursing through her body, and her wounded knees gave out underneath her as she slid to the floor. “What the hell?” she asked Lynn, curling into the fetal position.

  “I set it real low, but you’ve still got a mark from it. Can you stand?”

  “I think so.” Lucy pulled herself to her feet using the foot of the bed. “So now what?”

  Lynn’s mouth set in a grim line as the storm clouds enveloped the moon, leaving the room one shade above black. “Now we go get my gun back.”

  Lucy sank back against Lynn’s strength as they stood before Lander’s door, the metal prongs of the Taser biting deep into her neck.

  “Knock,” Lynn said, and she did, the sound echoing eerily down the empty hall.

  Lander answered quickly, already awakened by the storm. If finding Lucy held captive on his doorstep in the middle of the night threw him in any way, he did not show it. Instead he smiled at Lynn over her shoulder.

  “I’ve been hoping you’d come to me in the night sometime, but not quite like this.”

  “I want my gun, and I want keys to one of the cars,” Lynn said. “I know you’ve got both of them squared away in your room, so let’s make it easy and be done with it.”

  Lander shrugged. “Or what?”

  The prongs dug deeper into Lucy’s neck, and she felt a trickle of blood slip down her skin. “I’ll do her in, Lander, don’t think for one second I won’t.”

  The big man’s eyes searched Lynn’s, then Lucy’s, sliding off her face down to the burn mark left on her collarbone from the earlier shock. “You’re a cold woman, Lynn.”

  A white sheet flipped off the second bed in the room, and Ben staggered from the darkness, eyes heavy with sleep. “What’s going on?”

  The jolt of electricity going into her neck sent Lucy to the ground in an instant, her teeth grinding against one another.

  “Holy shit,” she heard Ben say. “She actually did it.”

  Lynn’s hand was on her neck and hauling her to her feet before Lucy trusted her own legs, and she buckled slightly against the older woman.

  “And I’ll keep doing it, ’til she’s of no more use and you all die a dry death.”

  Lander watched the two of them, his mind moving much faster than Lucy’s as she struggled to stay on her feet. “I don’t know I need her all that much, really. Ben says she was confident about those flags yesterday, wasn’t she, son?”

  Ben came forward to stand next to his father. “She was,” he said enthusiastically. “Although if you think sticking her again might make Dad change his m
ind, go ahead and do it. I haven’t seen a girl dance in a long time.”

  “Listen,” Lynn said, her voice barely masking the beginnings of a quiver. “I don’t—”

  “LANDER!” Nora’s scream ripped down the hall, her robe flapping behind her making her seem like a white specter in the darkness. She ran awkwardly, limbs still deadened by the jolt Lucy had given her. “She’s got away from me!”

  Lynn turned toward this new threat, and Lucy’s legs collapsed without her support. Nora careened to a halt, grabbing the doorway to stop herself and glaring at the huddled form in the darkness of the hall.

  Lucy peered up at her, a new kind of electricity surging through her limbs as her body warned her to get up, to get away from Nora, seconds before the older woman fell on her.

  “You ungrateful little bitch!” Nora screamed, blood trickling from one nostril as she smacked at Lucy’s face. Lucy fended off her blows, scooting herself up against the wall. From the corner of her eye she saw Lynn barrel into Lander with all her strength, barely knocking him off his feet. The two of them rolled into Ben together, sending him into the wall. The hard click of Ben’s teeth slamming together ricocheted around the room, and the moon came back out for another moment, turning the blood that flowed from his mouth a dark purple and starkly illuminating his own fascination with it as he lifted his stained fingers in front of his face.

  Lucy pulled her Taser from her belt and slammed it against Nora’s torso, forcing the other woman away from her before delivering the shock. Nora jerked and was still, a matching stream of blood now flowing from the other nostril.

  Lynn screamed as Lander bent her arm behind her back, forcing her face down into the carpet and digging his knee into her spine. Lucy dove for Lynn’s Taser, knocked free during their struggle. Lander let her have it, eyes watching her as she rose.

  “I’ve got all kinds of ways I can hurt this one, little girl,” he said, teeth stained with blood from where Lynn had got a good kick in. “You know I will.”

  Bright-blue electricity jumped from the prongs. “Get off of my mom.”

  Lander bent Lynn’s arm upward. She writhed but refused to cry out, bringing a blood-tinged smile to his face. “She’s not your mom.”

  “The hell she isn’t,” Lucy said, grabbing Ben from where he lay and digging both Tasers into either side of his neck. “Now you give her back to me or Ben’s dead, and not missed by many.”

  “That’s more true than you know,” Lander said. “Go on then.”

  Lucy felt the thunder roll through the room as clearly as the rage that pulsed through Ben as he knelt in front of her, disbelief sagging his shoulders. “Dad?”

  “What?” Lander asked. “You really don’t think I can make one better than you?” He reached down and touched Lynn’s hair with fondness, despite the fact that his other hand was still threatening to crack her arm in half. “This woman here and me combined? Now that’s something I want to see.”

  Ben sprang so quickly Lucy lost her grip on the Tasers, one of them nearly sliding from her sweaty palm. Ben hit Lander in a ball of fury, his attack so unexpected it sent his father reeling off Lynn, who dragged herself out of the way as the two struggled. There was a loud crack and a squeal of pain from Ben, and then Lucy was above both of them, jamming the Tasers into Lander’s temples and delivering a jolt that sent electricity flowing from father to son as their entwined limbs danced.

  Lucy’s arms couldn’t keep the connection anymore, and she fell to the ground. The smell of singed flesh and burning hair filled the room, tinged with the tweak of ozone when another flash of lightning ripped through the night air, and the building shook with the rumble of the thunder. Lynn dragged herself to Lucy’s side to cradle the girl’s head in her lap.

  “You okay?”

  Lucy nodded, the tender skin of her cheek rubbing against Lynn’s jeans. “Did I kill them?”

  “Well, Lander’s hair is on fire and he’s not doing anything about it, so my guess is yeah, you did.”

  Lucy turned her face into the bend of Lynn’s knee, tears dripping onto the denim and the delayed twinges of shock sending her into a rippling mass in Lynn’s lap. Lynn’s hands moved through her hair, gently pulling the short, damp ends from her sticky face.

  “I know it’s not easy, little one,” she said. “But this is the world we live in, and if we want to keep doing it, sometimes our hands are forced.”

  “Lucy?” Ben’s weak voice floated above the still bodies. Lynn rose to her feet, pulling Lucy with her. Ben’s small hands patted out the fires on either side of his father’s skull, surprising Lucy in their gentleness until she realized some of Ben’s own clothing had begun to smolder, and he’d put those sparks out first.

  “Ben?” She hovered over him, leaning down as close as she dared to hear his whisper.

  “Lucy, we’ve got to go,” Lynn said as she opened a closet and pulled out her rifle, along with a set of keys. “Others live here too, and the storm will be waking them if that ruckus didn’t.”

  Ben’s hand grabbed for hers, and she let him hold it. “I think Dad broke my back.”

  “Time to go.” Lynn’s hands were on her shoulders, pulling her back from his weak grip.

  “Ben,” Lucy stuttered, backing away from his pleading eyes and hands still reaching for her. “I’m sorry, I can’t.”

  The plea changed to wrath in a second, and his hands went from penitence to fists as he struck the floor around him. “You will take me with you! You can’t leave me broken.”

  “Ben,” Lucy said from the doorway, “you were broken long before I got here.”

  He screamed at them with all the air left inside him, his wordless anger following them down in the lobby, along with the sound of his upper half dragging his useless legs behind him in a futile effort to catch up.

  She followed Lynn on wobbly legs to the parking garage. Ben’s screams had brought others from their rooms, but no one was willing to face Lynn’s gun, and they had the streets to themselves. Lucy slid into the passenger seat with relief, dumping her bag in the back and letting her body go entirely slack.

  Lynn drove quickly; Lucy watched her eyes darting back and forth in the rearview mirror, not relaxing until they were well beyond the pale fingers of the dead buildings that reached for the sky. The desert opened up around them again, the emptiness of it all somehow reassuring after the cluttered rot of Las Vegas.

  “You know where you’re going?” Lucy asked.

  Lynn tapped her temple. “It’s all been up here for the past two states.”

  “All right,” Lucy said, her head tilting to one side to rest against the cool window. “I trust you.”

  The three small words swelled in magnitude in the confines of the car, and Lynn tightened her grasp on the steering wheel. “I want you to know there’s a lot of things in my life I wish I could take back. If I could only choose one, it’d be Carter.”

  “I know it,” Lucy said, eyes still shut. “But it’s done now. It is what it is.”

  “Maybe so, but I need you to know he asked me for it. Said he couldn’t stand the guilt of dead children, bodies of the people he knew burning in a pit, and him being what put ’em there. He didn’t want to be alone and . . . he said he couldn’t help but hope you’d be happy, but he hated that it wasn’t with him.”

  Tears that she didn’t bother to brush away poured down Lucy’s face. “But it didn’t have to be that way. He didn’t have to die.”

  “I didn’t know that, and neither did he. You’re the one that holds on to hope, Lucy. The two of us, we’d already accepted that life is unfair. And he died for it, and I can’t put together enough words to tell you how sorry I am.”

  “Neither one of you can be blamed for it,” Lucy said eventually. “This is a hard place we live in.”

  “It is indeed,” Lynn answered. The storm finally broke around them, dropping water in great sheets that rolled off the windshield as they headed west.

  “But I’m still glad I
’m here,” Lucy managed to say as her eyelids closed.

  The last thing she heard before she drifted into unconsciousness was Lynn heaving a great sigh and saying, “Lord, I wish I had a five-gallon bucket about now.”

  UNCORRECTED E-PROOF—NOT FOR SALE

  HarperCollins Publishers

  ..................................................................

  Part Four

  OCEAN

  UNCORRECTED E-PROOF—NOT FOR SALE

  HarperCollins Publishers

  ..................................................................

  Thirty-Four

  Lucy resisted when Lynn tried to get her to drink in the morning.

  “That’s water from the city,” Lucy said. “I don’t want to drink it.”

  Lynn took a swig from her own bottle and swished the water around her mouth. “Knowing what’s in it doesn’t make it taste better, but it’s water all the same.” She handed Lucy the bottle and opened her car door. “Hope you’re not too spoiled by the driving. We’re outta gas.”

  “I’ll survive.” Lucy got out, enjoying the feel of the rain-washed air against her skin in the cool morning light. Her lips were dry, and she’d taken a swallow of the water before she had time to think about it.

  “How far ’til Sand City?” Lucy asked, looking to the horizon.

  “A few hours’ walk is my best guess,” Lynn said.

  Lucy leaned against the car. “What do we do when we get there?”

  “That’s a good question, and hell if I know,” Lynn answered. “I never came up with an answer, as I was never entirely sure we’d make it.”

  “California,” Lucy said, as she looked to the west. “Kinda seemed impossible, didn’t it?”

  Lynn shrugged. “You don’t have to look in that direction, you know. We’re in California right now.”

  Lucy turned to the north. “California. Kinda seemed impossible, didn’t it?”