Girl, Forsaken

by Graceley Knox

  No freaking way.

  “Going out sounds great,” I say. “What time?”

  He chuckles, satisfied with his small win. “Be ready around 7 p.m.” In one smooth motion, he’s across the room. He stops in the doorway and turns. “Oh . . . be sure to dress up.”

  “Ugh. I have to dress fancy?”

  “Not so much fancy, just something that does you justice.” He winks. “There’s a nice silk dress in your closet, imported from Dubai. You’ll love it.”

  There’s no way I’m spending the night sweating my ass off in silk or satin. It’s buckles, straps, and shoes or bust. I take my time to polish off the cake, savoring the luxurious solitude before retiring to my room to decide on what outfit I should wear that will piss off Niko the most.

  Hours later, Niko stands leaning against a black Mercedes Benz SUV, talking to a group of his fellow vampires as I join them. He surveys my black jeans, Doc Martens and fitted gray tee with an unamused expression. Good. That’s exactly what I wanted. If he doesn’t like that, he can suck it.

  “Look who finally made it?” Niko jokes, half annoyed, when I reach his side.

  “It’s five past.”

  “Punctuality is the highest form of perfection.”

  “Vampires have all the time in the world, or so I thought,” I say. “What do minutes mean in the scheme of eternity?”

  Niko leans forward. “When you have infinite time, you’ll learn that it’s the little things that matter most.”

  “Whatever. Fashionably late is still a thing.”

  We all climb into the Benz and roll out. Just a half-dozen vampires out for a night on the town.

  “So, you enjoying being Niko’s girl?” one of the oversized vampires beside me asks.

  I’m partially shocked, considering most of Niko’s coven has steered clear of me. I may be Baetal by blood, but my Draugur allegiances with Arsen have left most of them cold.

  This vamp is close to six-six and has the girth of a linebacker. Not that the one on my other side is any better. These guys must’ve been Minnesota grown before they became vampires.

  “I’m not anyone’s girl.” I squirm in my seat, forcing myself not to lean against him, huffing. “Now do you mind giving me some space? Your overly broad arms are crushing me.”

  The vampire on the opposite side of me mock punches his friend’s arm, almost catching my face. “See, told you, Brady. You scare all of the good-looking women.”

  I lean forward to get some air and talk to Niko. “I really hope we’re heading somewhere close by. I’m not sure I can handle being tucked between Tweedledee and Tweedledum here for longer than a few minutes.”

  “Aw, come on.” Brady elbows me gently. “We’re not that bad. After all, you’re one of us, now, right?”

  Not by choice.

  Of course, being part of Niko’s coven, I should know better. If their master is a playboy joker, I shouldn’t be shocked that the rest of his vampires follow suit. Birds of a feather and all that. Although in this case I guess it’s undead of the fangy?

  Twenty unbearable minutes later, we pull up to a brick building with yellow neon lights shaped like angels’ wings. I almost leap over Brady’s lap to get out of the car and take a breath of fresh air. The ride over had filled my nostrils with the overwhelming scent of cologne and male arrogance.

  I read the sign hanging over the entrance. “High Stakes? Seriously?”

  “Who said vampires didn’t have a sense of humor?” Brady chuckles.

  I snort. “A cheesy one.”

  “Better than none at all,” Niko says as he walks up beside me and offers his elbow. Not happening. I’m not about to walk into this bar like we’re headed to the prom or some shit. Instead, I spread my arm out wide and signal for his majesty to guide us forward. His lips draw into a thin line, but he doesn’t make a fuss about it.

  Outside of its obvious vampire overtures, the interior isn’t much different than most of the dive bars or clubs in the city, except for being filled with vampires on top of the human patrons. I’m not sure what the itinerary is for the evening, but a potent glass of hard alcohol sounds like a good start.

  As I make a beeline for the bar, our entourage disperses into the many different shadowy corners, evaporating into the crowd until I can longer see anyone I know, or at least am familiar with. I take my seat on a plush corner stool, elbows on the bar as I watch the debauchery around me. Strobe lights flash over the dance floor, the different colors illuminating the sweat coating the dancers’ bare midriffs and ruddy faces.

  Open booths line the walls, leaving plenty of space for high top tables and the crowds of people and undead alike as they throw their heads back and let loose. A movement above me draws my attention to the second floor. It’s cordoned off by a thick red rope, and four different groups of vampires and their human guests, I’m assuming, oversee the mass of people below them.

  I can’t help but wonder if all of the humans in here know they’re dancing and frolicking with vampires. And if they do, is it for the thrill? Do they really believe it? Or do they think it’s a very well-done hoax? Some seem to be fully aware, either staring in awe or calmly standing around, waiting for their master’s next command like a well-trained dog.

  I wave at the bartender for a refill, my second drink making me feel lighter and less stressed than I have in weeks. I’ve had a few human men saunter up and offer to buy me a cocktail, but my fuck-off vibes slow that to a solid stop. Niko saddles up beside me, leaning onto the countertop with a wide smirk.

  “What?” He’s ruining my down time.

  “Are you ready?”

  I raise the glass to my lips. “For?”

  “Tonight, I’m going to teach you how to hunt like a proper vampire.”

  “Hunt? As in for humans?”

  “Yes.”

  I slam my glass onto the mahogany bar top. “We have blood bags and donors at your compound. The human thralls. Now you’re hunting innocent people? For what? The sport? They’re not fucking deer.”

  “Says the newbie vampire,” he scoffs.

  “Says the vampire with a moral code,” I say.

  “Well, it’s not just the sport. There may come a time when you need it.”

  I shake my head. “No, thanks. I’m good.”

  Niko’s expression darkens. “This isn’t a request, Sasha.”

  “Good thing it’s not, because if it was, I would tell you, ‘Hell, no.’”

  Ignoring my protests, he leans against the bar next to me and scans the crowd until his gaze falls on a busty blonde in the corner by herself. “Watch and learn.”

  “I won’t be watching.”

  “Sure you won’t,” Niko mocks as he strolls away.

  I try not to look, but I’m half curious, half worried for the blonde’s safety. Niko makes his way over to the woman, turning on the same charm he uses when he flirts with me—and every other female. He looks back at me over his shoulder and winks before he slides in the booth across from the woman.

  Niko lays it on thick, and the woman can barely keep her overwhelmingly large breasts in her corset with her excited wiggling in obvious hopes he’ll take the bait. Cripes, if she only realized just how far she is tempting fate tonight. She is playing with fire right now. I’m sure Niko is an adequate enough lay, but the torn jugular part might not be exactly what the woman is hoping for as she pouts her lips at him.

  It’s shocking how easy this is for them—for us.

  I glance across the other side of the bar and see Brady who has a redhead under his arm, fondling his chest. A few feet away, the female vampire who rode with us is dry humping some hipster dude. Each one of them seems to be doing their best to land an easy . . . I swallow, not wanting to say the word . . . meal.

  “So?”

  I almost jump from Niko’s voice at my back. “Dude, do not creep up on me!”

  I notice a small speck of stray blood he’s forgotten on the corner of his mouth. “That,” I say poin
ting to it, “is disgusting.”

  He snakes his tongue out and licks it.

  “I didn’t think you could get more repulsive, but once again, you’ve proven me wrong.”

  “You’re really going to have some serious issues, Sasha love, if you don’t accept who you are now. What you are now.”

  “Yeah, that’s me. The vampire with a hefty therapy bill due to my issues with attacking humans.”

  A bleached blonde enters the bar with a shirt so tight it looks like it could rip at any moment, and a smile stretches across Niko’s face. “I’m suddenly parched again,” he says.

  Her skirt is short enough to display a set of tight butt cheeks visible from the bottom. When she walks by Niko, she smiles coyly, brushing her hair away from her face and licking her lips in open invitation.

  I look back to Niko. The same smirk lights his face. “Eventually, Sasha, drinking human blood from the source will be as natural to you as breathing.”

  I wave him away, but he’s already made his way over to the new arrival as she sits, ready and waiting, at the end of the bar.

  As the evening wears on, my stomach churns more and more uneasily. Time after time, human after human, the vampires feed, leaving their prey smiling blissfully unaware they’ve been munched on, or for those who know, and crave their bite, sated and flying high from the cocktail of ecstasy our saliva in their bloodstream gives them.

  Yes, I’m no longer officially human. But that doesn’t mean I have to discredit them as people who matter.

  Things escalate quickly as if some type of fervor takes over Niko and his coven. Some sort of primal instinct dampening their common sense, or should I say any shred of humanity they have left. Their actions are more brazen, taking humans only seconds after meeting instead of playing the game of slow seduction.

  They’re getting rowdier by the minute, and just as I think it’s time for us to be on our way, Niko and his coven lead a trio of women and one man outside, using the side door into the alley next to the club.

  I hurry after them, pushing through the metal door they’ve disappeared through, only to find the group gone. But then I hear the screams. The shrill sound of a terrified woman and the shaky timbre of the man.

  I run through the intertwining alleyways, following the echoes until I find Niko and his coven circled around the group of four humans, laughing at their terror.

  “Please. Please, we’ll give you whatever you want. Please don’t hurt us.” The man begs for his life, shielding the women behind him. The fear in their eyes sends adrenaline racing through my veins. It’s pure instinct, and the euphoria of the chase could quickly become addictive, but I won’t forget who I am.

  My desire to save them overcomes my primal reaction to hunt, and I know having Arsen’s blood in my veins will give me more strength than usual. But even with it, the odds aren’t in my favor against six of Niko’s blood high vampires.

  “It’s easy, isn’t? How quickly they drop to their knees and beg.” Niko snickers at my side. His words are wild and feral, the small amount of his normal sound judgment absent.

  “Niko, stop this.”

  “What? Why?”

  “Because this is wrong.”

  “Says who?”

  “Me!”

  But Niko ignores me and laughs as Brady lunges at the man again. Without a second thought, I throw all of my weight into him, knocking him off balance and away from the man.

  Vince tries to get around me and grab at one of the women’s wrists, but I manage to place my body between them. He steps forward in an attempt to get me to back down, but I don’t. He’s older and stronger, but I’ve got conviction on my side.

  Brady recovers from my earlier hit and steps to the other side of me in an attempt to cut off any chance the humans have to retreat. I’m careful to use my body as a shield.

  “Hurry! I don’t know how long I can hold them! Run!” I scream at the terrified humans behind me.

  “What’s going on?” one woman attempts to ask through tears.

  “Oh, for fucks sake!” What is this a scene out of a B horror movie where the victim tries to ask questions when they should be running? “There’s no time to explain! If you don’t want to die, you need to run. Now!” My words sound more like a growl than an actual speech. “Move your ass!”

  They shuffle down the alleyway, shaken and unsteady but still alive and breathing.

  “What the fuck, Sasha? Why did you do that?” Brady yells, but I ignore him and keep my position between the humans and the vampires.

  “I was stopping you from killing innocent people to sate your bloodlust!”

  “We are vampires, you dumb bitch.” Vince growls and I realize the three other vampires have formed a circle, backing me into a corner.

  Niko appears before us, his gaze murderous. The normal flirtatious vampire is replaced by the coven’s master. He looks between me and the fleeing humans, and when he speaks, his voice is like liquid steel. “Go get those humans and bring them back. I’ll deal with her.”

  I move away from him only to be grabbed around the wrist. “You come with me.”

  “No.” I attempt to break free, but I can’t shake him. “You’re going to kill them.”

  He wheels around. “Yes, we are! We’re vampires, Sasha. When will you accept your fate and embrace your new life?”

  I bare my teeth at him, furious at his actions. “I’ll accept my new existence around the same time you stop killing for sport.”

  Niko throws his head back and laughs. “It’s who we are. It’s what we’re meant to do.”

  “No. It may be who you have let yourself become, but that’s not who I am.”

  “Not yet, it’s not.”

  “Not ever, Niko. It’ll be a quarter past never and not going to happen before I kill anyone for anything other than self-defense.”

  Chapter 9

  Overwhelming disappointment and anger ravage my mind. Niko takes me back to the car, but only after forcing me to watch Brady and the others drink from the innocent people until they take their very last breaths.

  He claims it was to prove a point. I’m calling bullshit. He thinks showing me the brutality of his world will force me to become as ruthless as him. He’s wrong. If anything, it makes me even more spiteful of not only what I’ve become but of him and his coven. And it makes me miss Arsen.

  I can see how similar they are, but at the same time, I can’t imagine Arsen doing any of these things Niko does. He leads through respect—not fear.

  And yes, I’m still pissed at him. Completely bullshit at him for making me feel used and lied to. But then again, who isn’t using me at this point?

  Arsen may be the better man and yeah, he cheated and lied, but I stood back and watched four people die last night. Maybe I am no better than Niko. I could have fought harder, struggled against him, and I might not have survived, but at least I’d have died fighting for something rather than standing for nothing.

  I stare at my phone. The part of me really wanting to be with Arsen duals hard against the part of me who wants to punch him for what he did. My phone buzzes yet again with another text from Arsen, begging me to talk to him.

  I want to talk to you. Please.

  I want to say I’m sorry. I know I was wrong.

  I know you’re mad but I didn’t know what else to do.

  We can talk in person or over the phone, whichever one you prefer. I just want to hear your voice.

  I grab my phone, growling.

  If you’re so sorry, then admit you cheated and admit you LIED to me.

  Silence lingers over the screen for a few minutes. I tap my foot in growing frustration. I don’t care if Arsen admits to everyone that he cheated. I want him to own his failings to me. More importantly to admit that even if he has feelings for me, he used me. Maybe he is still trying to.

  Sasha, for the Provokar, what’s done is done. But with you and me, there’s more that needs to be said.

  Oh yeah? Like
what? Spell it out for me. I’m not a mind reader.

  Talk with me. Come to me. I promise you full autonomy over yourself. No more pressure. No more lies.

  So, you won’t admit that you used me?

  I can’t do that.

  Then no deal.

  Because I didn’t.

  I toss my phone down and Arsen doesn’t text me again when I don’t reply to his last text. The pain in my chest brings tears to my eyes. I want to be near him so badly even though I know I shouldn’t. Inside, I know what I want. To be with him. I want to hold him and tell him I forgive him but I can’t, no matter how much I ache to be near him again.

  I look around the lab that has become my home. I need space. Space away from Niko and the Baetal and just other vampires in general. I grab my keys and a light jacket and head out for a drive with no real destination in mind.

  I know from the heavy clouds above my head we can probably expect a lot of rain in the near future. It’s always exciting to see the weather change as seasons come and go. At least it was before.

  Fantastic. My fatigue is clearly evolving into depression. I can’t let that happen. Too many lives rely on my success or failure. But I am desperate to do something familiar. Something comforting and calming.

  Thankfully Ground Up is still open, slinging coffee and lattes for all the college students hustling to get their exams and research projects done before winter break. I’ve always loved the atmosphere here. The baristas bustle around, laughing with co-workers and customers alike as they craft their caffeinated goodness. There’s a soft hum of conversation, but it’s not overwhelming or too distracting. It’s the perfect balance of a little something to fill the silence and not so loud that you can’t hear yourself think.