Wild & Hexy

by Vicki Lewis Thompson

  ‘‘That’s right,’’ Isabel said with a flip of her long beaded earrings. ‘‘Length isn’t everything. Girth is important, too. Still, I find it interesting that Annie’s brought us a stack of nine-inchers. If you get tired of Jeremy, honey-bunch, let ol’ Isabel know, ’kay?’’

  ‘‘Jeremy’s not—’’ Annie caught herself before she blurted out that Jeremy’s penis was not nine inches long. Eight, tops. Better not say that, either. Better lay off the punch, or no telling what might come tumbling out.

  ‘‘Not your boyfriend?’’ Isabel flashed her perfect teeth. ‘‘Then the field’s wide open, isn’t it?’’

  ‘‘Oh, who cares?’’ Melody made a face. ‘‘This is my party, not Annie’s. So who’s next?’’

  For once Annie was grateful for Melody’s jealousy. ‘‘How about Dorcas?’’ She handed the blindfold to the woman Jeremy had said was a matchmaker. Dorcas didn’t fit Annie’s concept of a matchmaker, someone plump and gray haired with a sweet smile. Instead, Dorcas looked as if she could be running a Fortune 500 company.

  Annie vowed to interview her before the week was over, because she sensed a story was connected to Dorcas and Ambrose. In the meantime, she wanted to find out what was going on with Isabel Moore.

  She wanted to place her, but that wasn’t the only issue. The bottom line was that she didn’t like thinking of Isabel, with her short skirts, big tits and flashy style, getting her manicured fingers on Jeremy. Once Annie left, he might be a guy on the rebound. He could be vulnerable to the wiles of a woman like Isabel.

  Grabbing another cup of punch, Annie walked over to where Isabel leaned against the mahogany railing of the stairway leading to the second floor. Before the party Maggie had given Annie a tour of the place, and the old Victorian was turning into a beauty thanks to Sean’s carpentry skills. The staircase had been refinished and recently polished with lemon oil, judging from the way it gleamed.

  But Annie wasn’t concerned about architectural details at the moment. She wanted to find out whether she had to worry about Isabel Moore moving in on Jeremy come Monday morning. She put on her reporter’s hat. ‘‘So how do you like San Francisco?’’

  ‘‘Love it. Great city.’’ Isabel had to be at least five-ten, and the stiletto heels on her boots brought her to well over six feet.

  Annie was determined not to be intimidated, even if she had to look up. ‘‘I hope to see it someday. Have you ever been to Chicago?’’

  ‘‘Not recently. Why?’’

  ‘‘I have the feeling we’ve met somewhere before.’’

  ‘‘Afraid not.’’

  ‘‘Hm.’’ Annie sipped her punch. ‘‘I assume you flew here.’’

  ‘‘You assume right.’’ Isabel looked amused, as if she found a discussion of transportation silly.

  Annie managed a smile. The punch helped with that. ‘‘So what brought you from a bustling city like San Francisco to a quiet little town like Big Knob?’’

  Isabel glanced away, but not before her green eyes revealed that she was hiding something from Annie. ‘‘I have a thing about phallic symbols.’’ She took a sip of her punch. ‘‘This is terrible stuff. Wish I had a mudslide instead. It would make this party a lot more exciting.’’

  Annie could believe that Isabel loved phallic symbols, mudslides, and wild parties, but that wasn’t the whole story. There was more to Isabel than she was revealing. Maybe if they went somewhere more private, Annie could find out what it was.

  ‘‘Have you seen Big Knob in the moonlight?’’ she asked. ‘‘The moon will be full tomorrow night, but it’s almost there now. You get a great view from the back porch.’’

  ‘‘So let’s go, girlfriend.’’ Isabel gulped the rest of her punch and set the cup on a table as she headed for the hall leading to the kitchen.

  Annie located Maggie in the midst of the game in progress. ‘‘Isabel and I are going out to look at the moon,’’ she called out. ‘‘We’ll be right back.’’

  ‘‘Don’t be long,’’ Maggie said. ‘‘We’re playing truth or dare next.’’

  ‘‘Hold me back,’’ Isabel muttered.

  Annie’s curiosity grew as she followed Isabel out the kitchen door to the back porch. If she was so bored, why hadn’t she taken a picture of Big Knob and left town? And why did she look so familiar?

  Isabel crossed the back porch and walked down the steps to stand in the yard. Maggie had dug out the weeds that used to choke it and planted a few rose-bushes and irises. The loamy scent of fresh potting soil mingled with the aroma of buds beginning to open.

  As Annie had promised, the view of Big Knob was spectacular from here. It seemed close enough to touch, thrusting into the dark sky like a giant fertility symbol. A mist rose from the woods surrounding the granite spire, and the mist combined with the moonlight to soften its jagged contours.

  ‘‘I could have an orgasm just looking at that thing,’’ Isabel said.

  Annie had to admit the rock had that sort of effect, especially on women. She couldn’t help thinking of Jeremy standing in front of her this afternoon, his penis so proud and erect.

  ‘‘So is Jeremy really hung like a horse?’’

  ‘‘Yes,’’ Annie said dreamily. Then she snapped out of her punch-induced daze. ‘‘Did I say that out loud?’’

  ‘‘You sure did, honey-bunch.’’

  ‘‘Isabel, I need to talk to you about Jeremy. You see, he’s had a crush on me for years, and I—’’

  ‘‘You finally decided to give the poor boy a shot. Good move, Annie. There’s nothing like years of frustration to make a guy try harder.’’ She laughed. ‘‘Or be harder, for that matter. I’m sure he really concentrated on providing the big O."

  Guilt washed over her as she thought about the truth of that. Jeremy must have been knocking himself out, and yet she kept reminding him the relationship was temporary. What a self-absorbed maneuver. She couldn’t have sex with him anymore. It would only make things worse when she left.

  That brought her back to the subject of Isabel. ‘‘I’ll be going back to Chicago on Sunday. My life is there, not here.’’

  ‘‘And your point is?’’

  ‘‘It’s possible that when I leave on Sunday, Jeremy will be a little . . . upset.’’

  ‘‘So it’s casual for you and not for him.’’

  ‘‘That’s one way of putting it.’’ She wasn’t crazy about that assessment, but she didn’t have a better way of describing the dynamics.

  ‘‘And you want me to console him! I can do that. It’ll be a sacrifice, but what are friends for?’’

  Gag me. Annie wondered if she was wasting her breath on Isabel, but maybe the woman had a conscience hidden somewhere under her wild-child exterior. ‘‘I’m asking you not to take advantage of the situation. I doubt you’ll be relocating to Big Knob, and I can’t bear to think of him being abandoned twice in a matter of weeks.’’

  ‘‘So it’s okay for you to take advantage of him, but not me? Sounds like a double standard, chicky-babe.’’

  The truth hurt, and Annie reacted by mounting a counterattack. ‘‘You haven’t known him all your life. I have.’’

  ‘‘Oh, I see the distinction now. You’re allowed to break a guy’s heart if you’ve known him a long time, but he’s off-limits if you just met him. Are those the rules in Big Knob?’’

  A headache started building at the base of Annie’s skull. It could be a side effect of the punch, but it was probably because she was clenching her teeth so hard she was about to give herself a sore jaw. Isabel was right, damn it.

  She let out a breath and rolled her shoulders. ‘‘You’ve made your point. I shouldn’t have slept with him. I won’t anymore. I’m asking you not to compound my mistake.’’

  Isabel gazed up at Big Knob. ‘‘I’ll think about it.’’ Annie stared at her profile. Damn, where had she seen that profile before? ‘‘Do you have relatives here?’’

  ‘‘Why?’’ Isabel turned her head.

&
nbsp; ‘‘There’s something so familiar about you.’’

  Isabel seemed startled, but she recovered quickly. ‘‘I have one of those faces, I guess.’’

  Annie couldn’t shake the feeling that Isabel was somehow connected to the town. She tried to remember if one of the girls she’d gone to school with had run away from home. She couldn’t think of anyone, but she’d ask Gwen. Gwen had a better memory for things like that.

  A cool breeze whipped up, making Annie shiver. ‘‘We should probably get back to the party.’’

  ‘‘You go ahead.’’ Isabel turned back to the view of Big Knob. ‘‘I’m getting my phallic symbol fix.’’

  ‘‘All right. See you in there.’’ Annie started to climb the back porch steps.

  ‘‘Oh, and by the way.’’

  Annie turned back. ‘‘What?’’

  ‘‘Jeremy’s a big boy, and I’m not just referring to his package. I think he can handle a little disappointment regarding his love life.’’

  ‘‘Of course he can. I just—’’

  ‘‘You just know that you’re setting him up for a gigantic disappointment, don’t you? I could provide him a soft place to land, with only a little disappointment when I left. Think about that. Maybe you should be thanking me for cushioning the blow instead of warning me off.’’

  Because she had no printable answer for that, she went inside. No matter how much she wanted to paint Isabel as the villain of the piece, the label wouldn’t stick. Everything Isabel had said was right.

  Annie, not Isabel, was the heartless bitch out to have a good time at Jeremy’s expense. If he required some consolation after she left town, she shouldn’t begrudge Isabel or Jeremy the experience. If she saw red at the thought of Jeremy and Isabel naked together, that was her problem, not theirs. She’d been back in town less than three days, and she’d already created a hideous mess.

  Dorcas had been blindfolded when Annie left with Isadora, but once her turn was over she kept glancing at the hallway and waiting for them to come back. She couldn’t stop Isadora from interacting with the citizens of Big Knob, but she’d like to keep those interactions to a minimum if possible. Isadora’s reckless streak could blow their cover, and Dorcas didn’t fancy a twenty-first-century witch hunt.

  When Annie walked into the room alone, Dorcas hoped that meant Isadora had stopped at the bathroom on the way back down the hall. Several minutes later, Isadora hadn’t returned. The Whispering Forest bordered Sean and Maggie’s property, which meant Isadora had easy access to George if she took it into her head to pay him a visit. Dorcas had no choice but to quietly question Annie.

  She had to wait until after Annie received her prize for winning the pin-the-penis-on-the-man game. The prize was a package of Day-Glo green condoms, extra large. Annie laughed and excused herself to go tuck the box in her purse. As she started down the hall, Dorcas pretended great interest.

  ‘‘Those are a riot.’’ She followed Annie down the hallway. ‘‘Can I see them before you put them away?’’

  ‘‘Sure.’’ Annie paused and gave the box to Dorcas. Then she glanced back down the hall as if checking to see if the coast was clear. ‘‘Listen, as long as no one’s around, I need to ask you something.’’

  Dorcas handed back the condom box. ‘‘What’s that?’’

  ‘‘Jeremy told me you and Ambrose are match-makers. ’’

  ‘‘That’s one of our job descriptions. Our company is called Hot Prospects for that reason, but we offer marriage counseling, too.’’

  ‘‘Just so there’s no misunderstanding—I’m not in the market for another husband.’’

  Dorcas had been expecting that sort of disclaimer, especially after the incident this afternoon in front of Click-or-Treat. Annie was probably feeling pressured. That wasn’t a good thing.

  ‘‘I understand completely,’’ Dorcas said. ‘‘And for the record, Jeremy specifically told us he didn’t want our services.’’

  Annie nodded. ‘‘So he said. But I know you talked to his mother today, and Jeremy mentioned that she’s eager to see him married. So I just wanted to make sure that no one had any illusions about my ultimate plans. I’m savoring my freedom right now.’’

  ‘‘Makes sense.’’ Dorcas desperately needed to find out what had happened to Isadora, but she couldn’t let this golden opportunity with Annie pass, either. ‘‘I have something I wanted to ask you, too.’’

  ‘‘Oh?’’

  ‘‘When you were out on the lake last night, did you see anything . . . unusual?’’

  Annie’s gaze intensified. ‘‘Why?’’

  ‘‘Well, Ambrose and I have a view of the lake from our house. I’m not sure if you knew that or not.’’

  ‘‘No, I didn’t.’’ Annie’s full attention was focused on Dorcas. ‘‘Have you . . . seen anything?’’

  Good. The plan is working. ‘‘Yes. I think there’s something unusual living in that lake.’’

  Annie grabbed Dorcas’s arm. ‘‘So do I! But Jeremy doesn’t believe me.’’

  ‘‘What have you seen?’’

  ‘‘Well, I saw this little head and long neck come out of the water.’’ Annie gestured with both arms. ‘‘I freaked out, let me tell you. The rest of it had to be big, because it caused waves that made my kayak tip over.’’

  ‘‘That sounds scary.’’

  ‘‘I was plenty scared, but after we paddled to the beach and I started thinking about it, I realized that if it was real and not a kid’s prank, I could have the scoop of the century.’’

  ‘‘Oh, Annie, you really could.’’

  ‘‘Have . . . have you talked to anyone else about this?’’

  Dorcas shook her head. ‘‘Only Ambrose, and he won’t say anything, either. I wouldn’t want people in Big Knob to think I’m crazy.’’

  ‘‘But we can’t both be crazy.’’ Annie’s eyes shone with eagerness. ‘‘Dorcas, I know this is a lot to ask, but I would love to get an exclusive on this. If you see anything more, will you let me know?’’

  ‘‘Be glad to. I think it’s exciting.’’

  ‘‘Me, too! I was planning to stake out the area tomorrow night and bring my camera. I don’t dare break the story until I’m sure it’s not kids playing a prank, but with you living right there, you might have other sightings. Before we leave the party I’ll give you my cell number.’’

  ‘‘Perfect.’’ And so it was. Dorcas worked hard not to gloat. This was going so well.

  ‘‘And one other thing. I would love to interview you and Ambrose for my small-town series in the Tribune. I think it’s so interesting that you decided to settle in Big Knob.’’

  Dorcas’s smile faded. The Wizard Council might not be too pleased by a feature story in a major newspaper. And yet, an interview would be a great way to cement the relationship with Annie.

  ‘‘Unless you’d rather not.’’ Annie’s smile faltered, too. ‘‘I don’t mean to invade your privacy, but I—’’

  ‘‘Not at all. Come by tomorrow morning about ten. We’d be glad to do an interview.’’ Dorcas had to follow her instincts, and giving the interview seemed like the best course of action. She needed to get to know Annie better.

  Annie still looked doubtful. ‘‘If you’re sure.’’

  ‘‘I’m totally sure.’’ And now she simply had to handle the Isadora situation. ‘‘By the way, did Isabel come back in with you?’’

  ‘‘Uh, no, she didn’t. She wanted to stay out and look at Big Knob a while longer. I keep trying to think why she looks so familiar, too. I’ve seen her somewhere before, but I can’t figure out where.’’

  Dorcas’s uneasiness returned. ‘‘Maybe she just has one of those faces.’’

  ‘‘That’s what she said when I asked if she’d ever been to Chicago. But I don’t think Chicago is where I know her from, anyway. She’s related to someone around here, I’ll bet. Maybe a long-lost niece or daughter who decided to come home at last.’’

  Dorcas won
dered how soon Annie would see the resemblance between Isabel Moore and the bronze statue on the square. Maybe Isadora’s idea of melting the thing wasn’t so bad after all.

  ‘‘I think I’ll go out back and see how she’s doing,’’ Dorcas said. ‘‘She might be feeling a little shy and out of place.’’

  Annie laughed. ‘‘Isabel?’’

  ‘‘Okay, maybe not. But I brought her, so I should check up on her.’’ Dorcas patted the box of condoms. ‘‘Enjoy these.’’

  ‘‘Thanks, but I can’t.’’

  ‘‘You can’t?’’ Dear Zeus, now nothing seemed to be going smoothly, not even the sex. ‘‘Why not?’’

  ‘‘I won’t be having sex with Jeremy anymore. It’s not fair to him.’’

  Dorcas tried not to panic. ‘‘Maybe you should let him decide that.’’

  ‘‘Oh, he can say he’ll be fine until he’s blue in the face, but I don’t believe him. When I leave he’ll be devastated. I—’’

  ‘‘Annie!’’ Melody called from the living room. ‘‘Quit playing with the condoms and get back here! Everybody’s waiting for you so we can start truth or dare because you have the best secrets!’’

  Annie glanced at Dorcas. ‘‘I have to go. This is no time to make Melody upset. But thanks for keeping an eye on the lake for me.’’

  ‘‘No problem.’’ Dorcas muttered a little prayer to Venus that Annie wouldn’t be able to keep her vow of celibacy. Then she hurried out to the back porch.

  Isadora was gone.

  Chapter 13

  When the belly dancer didn’t show up at the Big Knobian, Jeremy was stuck for entertainment. The bachelor party limped along on beer and munchies and not much else going on besides sports on TV, which the guys could watch anytime. Sean suggested magic tricks, but Jeremy figured that could backfire. Everyone would pester him for the secret behind the tricks, and because he didn’t know how he was accomplishing any of it, things could get ugly.