by Noelle Love
The idea of sex with Aubin, no, the idea of sex in general, was unbelievably pleasant for Tali. Tali had only had sex with one person, her high school boyfriend, and they had done it three and a half times the summer before he left for an internship in London. It wasn’t that Tali didn’t like sex, she did, but it was as if she had just forgotten about it for the past eight years. She had been so busy keeping house for her aunt, painting, baking, thinking, that intimacy slipped to the very, very bottom of her to-do list to the dismay of the hundreds of men who thought about her every night in the privacy of their bathroom.
“So, see Tali. We all make mistakes, but we move on. It’s all we can do,” Zenna finished, oblivious that Tali’s mind was preoccupied with Aubin’s naked body. “Right?” Zenna added, surprised by her confidant’s silence.
Hearing the question, Tali quickly mentally dressed herself and, trying to hide her flushed face, handed Zenna a pastry bag filled with cream, saying “yeah” as profoundly as possible. Zenna wasn’t going to argue with the lack of conversation after she poured her best-kept secret out, she was still trying to figure out how she felt about the whole situation now too.
Without another word spoken Tali and Zenna got to work filling cream puffs for an order that was to be picked up tomorrow morning; Tali in reverie, Zenna in deep contemplation, both wishing they were somewhere else right now.
La Buche de Noel (Yule Log)
Serves 12
Ingredients
5 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted and cooled
¾ cup cake flour
2/3 cup granulated sugar
4 large eggs
Powdered sugar, for dusting
Cocoa powder, for dusting
Edible gold dust, for dusting (optional)
For the chocolate ganache
14 ounces very dark chocolate, chopped finely
1 cup heavy cream
2 ½ tablespoons honey
For the buttercream and syrup
1 cup + 3 tablespoons granulated sugar
4 egg whites
24 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
2 tablespoons strong espresso
1 tablespoon rum
1 tablespoon water
Directions
Begin by preparing the ganache. Set the chocolate in a medium-size bowl and set aside. In a saucepan over medium-high heat, bring the cream and honey to a boil. Once boiling, pour this mixture over the chocolate and let stand for 1 to 2 minutes. Stir the mixture with a rubber spatula until it is smooth. Allow the ganache to cool at room temperature until it becomes thick, which will take 6 to 12 hours.
Before starting to make the cake, prepare the buttercream and syrup. In a heatproof mixing bowl combine 1 cup of the sugar with the egg whites. Simmer water in the bottom of a saucepan and set the mixing bowl on top, heating the mixture until a candy thermometer reads 140 degrees F. Take the bowl off the heat and beat on high speed to cool and create stiff peaks. Add the butter and beat again until smooth. Then stir in the espresso until the buttercream is even in color and set aside.
To make the syrup place the remaining 3 tablespoons of sugar, rum, and water in a saucepan over high heat. Bring the mixture to a boil, cooking until the sugar dissolves completely. Remove the mixture from heat and set aside to cool.
Preheat your oven to 400 degrees F. Prepare a rimmed 13” x 18” baking sheet by greasing and flouring and then covering with parchment paper.
In a mixing bowl, combine the sugar and eggs, beating on high speed for 6 to 7 minutes. Add the butter and flour by gently folding in. Pour the cake batter onto the prepared baking sheet, spreading even with a spatula. Place in the preheated oven and bake for 12 to 14 minutes or until the bottom of the cake turns golden brown.
Spread a large clean kitchen towel (bigger than the baking sheet) on a flat work surface. Sprinkle the top with a liberal amount of powdered sugar. Turn the cake out onto the towel, remove the parchment paper, and then sprinkle again with a liberal amount of powdered sugar. Working with the shorter end of the rectangular cake, begin rolling the cake like a jelly roll, allowing the towel to be rolled into the cake. Allow it to cool to room temperature.
After cooling, carefully unroll the cake, taking out the towel. Use a pastry brush to coat the top of the unrolled cake with the rum syrup; let stand for 2 to 3 minutes to soak in. Frost the top of the cake with the buttercream and then roll the cake up just as before, placing the seam down on a serving plate.
Use a sharp serrated knife to carefully remove a few inches off one end of the cake, slicing at an angle (about 30 degrees). Take the removed piece of the cake and frost the flat (not angled) end with buttercream. Set this on top of the rest of the cake, creating a small stump (now you’re Yule log looks like a log!). Stir the ganache and then use a spatula to spread over the cake. You can also leave the two ends of the cake and the top of the stump alone – keeping them exposed to create a more organic and unique look. Finish the Yule log by using a wooden skewer or fork tines to draw lines through the ganache so that it looks like bark. Place the finished Yule log in the refrigerator to chill and decorate as desired before serving.
13
December 23rd – The unusually bright sun pouring through the window of Margot’s sixth story apartment was met with groaning and annoyance. Margot, like most bakery owners, used to love Fridays and the diversity of customers they brought through her doors – businessmen and women picking up pastries for meetings, kids coming by after school for an end of the week treat with the change they had saved from their lunch money, orders being placed by parents for weekend birthday celebrations, brides-to-be getting off work early to sample wedding cakes, and, the girls’ favorite for sheer people-watching pleasure, the busloads of tourists excited to try real French baking. But today was different for Margot. Seeing her store empty so many times over the past several weeks, even Fridays, made her sick to her stomach. As of late, she had taken on a “why bother?” kind of attitude, tossing late bills in the recycling, ignoring phone calls from potential customers (“One person isn’t going to save my bakery,” she thought), and being of little to no help to Tali and Zenna who still, foolishly Margot believed, approached each day with the belief that something incredible would happen and all would be fixed forever. This morning, Margot embraced her carelessness and did as any lousy employee would – she called in sick.
Zenna’s phone vibrated at the foot of the bed - the bed, Zenna thought, not her bed, which made all the difference this morning. Resting her head in the crook of the neck of her latest, and quite possibly her last, lover, she was definitely not going to be disturbed. She had never been with a man like this before, charming, handsome, talented (in more ways than one), and so obviously head-over-heels in love with her that she got the idea that she would never spend another day without him – and, surprisingly Zenna realized, she was more than okay with that; she was ecstatic.
The story of how Zenna ended up in this amazing man’s bed starts last night after Tali left the bakery. Zenna had helped Tali finish up the order of cream puffs, but decided to stay longer to work on a new caramel glaze recipe she had been thinking about for the last few days, which, she decided would be the perfect finishing touch to her Croquembouche, a recipe that she loved to make but still felt like she hadn’t quite gotten right even after nearly two dozen mediocre attempts.
After Tali left to embark on the short walk next-door and up the stairs, Zenna got to work, focused and determined to perfect at least one thing, besides her son, in her life. And, even her son, her pride and joy, she thought, was largely as wonderful as he was because of the help she had raising him from her parents, who looked after him several nights a week, happy to help now that she had a “respectable” job. These caramel glazed cream puffs were all her own-doing, and, if they turned out well, proof that she could still do a few things right.
Halfway through making the caramel, she began to sweat. She was nervous - nervous about her creation, about Tali t
elling Margot the details of her romp with Aubin, about her future, and about her son’s. “You just need to focus on what you’re doing,” Zenna said aloud to herself, lying as she said, “If you get this right, everything will be okay.”
She had the tendency in stressful situations like this to imagine that she and the universe had a special understanding and that if she made a bet with herself and won, the universe would reward her gamble. So, in the silence of the empty bakery, Tali began to take off her top. She has learned over the years (and after many, many epiphanies in men's - and one woman's - bedrooms) that she works much better when she's not distracted. And for her, clothes, especially bras, were quite the distraction. "Maybe my brain is connected to my boobs," she told Margot once after a bottle of champagne, "like a man's is connected to his penis. I can't think when my girls are being squeezed.”
Taking off her shirt and bra, Zenna felt like a lizard shedding its skin, taking on a whole new persona, one free from the past and unconcerned about the future. Topless, she settled in to her work, her mind like a seashell dropped in a pool, floating slowly, back and forth, down to the bottom, gracefully arriving on the floor of fine sediment – its final resting.
Deep in focus, she shot into the air hearing the sound of the front door crashing open. A white dove flew over her head. She turned quickly to watch where it went. What. The. Hell.
"Have you seen…" a voice questioned.
"A fucking bird?" Zenna turned around, not believing her eyes.
It was Jacques.
Zenna met Jacques years ago at a party, well before their encounter at the gallery the night she left with Aubin. Margot had become acquainted with Jacques at the l’Universite Paris-Sorbonne in an acting class. The two were paired up for an improv activity that involved Margot taking the form of a wheelbarrow, Jacques a wheelbarrow-wielding farmer trying to catch a falling princess. They laughed so hard they decided that it must be good for their health to be in each other’s company often, so they became friends.
Margot begged Zenna to accompany her to a party Jacques and his roommate were having, thinking that the two would make a great couple, or at least a worthwhile one-night stand. Upon seeing Jacques for the first time, Zenna was struck by his piercing blue eyes and charismatic smile, but was off put by his quirkiness. Quirky guys, she knew from experience, were complicated and too much work to get involved with. They liked to tease and she wasn’t in the mood for a chase. Zenna came to the party for one reason only – a quick fuck – and she knew Jacques would take at least three maybe four dates before she got his pants off. After a brief conversation, Zenna excused herself, leaving Jacques for a muscular black-haired hunk brooding in the corner, his eyes suggesting he was just as horny as she was.
Zenna continued to study Jacques’s face, shocked that he would show up in the bakery this late at night apparently chasing after a bird. It surprised her how taken she was with his good looks tonight – she had apparently never noticed just how handsome he was, always distracted in one way or another. Those eyes, she thought, were the kindest most honest eyes she had ever seen. His nose was strong, sharp but not overtly, and his mouth was…wide open.
Remembering she was topless, she understood the stunned look on Jacques’s face, something like a boy who just got told he could go on a water slide for the first time, thrilled but nervous at the size and, in this case, large nipples. Zenna scoured her brain for something witty to say to explain why her breasts were having a night out, but before she could decide on which “Girls Just Want To Have Fun” reference to use, Jacques ran out the door and into the cold dark night.
Something came over Zenna and she knew that she couldn’t let Jacques run off. She needed to look at his face more; she needed to touch him. Sprinting into the streets of Paris Zenna looked frantically for the back of Jacques’s head. At this time of night under the Eiffel Tower spotting a single person was easy, considering that every other shadow was two-headed with wandering hands. Zenna stood on a bench nearby to improve her view and found her single headed man walking towards the base of the sparkling tower. Smiling, Zenna ran through the couples towards Jacques. The gasps and whispers coming from several people behind him alerted Jacques to Zenna’s presence. He stopped and turned around, head down, staring at his feet.
"When a girl bears her breasts for you the least you can say is hi.” Zenna put her hands on her hips, catching her breath and waiting for Jacques’s response. His smile was enough to send Zenna sailing over the moon. Still studying his shoes, afraid to look anywhere above her ankles, Jacques boyishly said hi.
"You can look. Everyone else is," she laughed.
Knowing this was his one shot to make a good impression, Jacques lifted his gaze to make eye contact, exerting as much self-control as was humanly possible to prevent his stare stopping halfway up and admiring her perfect boobs.
Zenna’s half-nude presence in the middle of the plaza had rightfully attracted quite a crowd, which, until this moment, had been non-existent to the two. Looking around at the stunned faces, they both laughed at the situation.
"Now what?" Jacques shrugged. Zenna turned up a corner of her mouth, playfully moving her shoulders up and down towards her ears.
“This,” Jacques thought, “is the girl for me.” “Here goes nothing!” he whispered into her ear, proceeding to take off his pants and boxers, leaving his socks on for full effect.
Zenna couldn’t believe what Jacques had just done and laughed uncontrollably.
“I hope you’re not laughing at me,” he said looking down at his penis. “It’s pretty cold out here.”
Zenna laughed one more time and then placed her hand in his. “In that case,” she said, “let’s get you somewhere warm.”
The flapping of wings drew the couple’s attention upward to the dove flying over their heads. The bird was headed towards a small flat perched on a hill. It was adorned with twinkle lights and the view, Zenna realized, must frame The Two Macarons perfectly beneath the legs of the Eiffel Tower. Zenna squeezed Jacques’s hand harder; he returned the gesture. Like two small kids who had fallen in love at recess, Jacques and Zenna leisurely strolled towards the beaconing home, both knowing that the bed would be their first and last stop that night. They were very aware of the stares being shot at them from all directions, but already much too in love with each other to care.
Croquembouche
Serves 30
Ingredients
½ cup whole milk
½ cup lukewarm water
8 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 cup all-purpose flour
5 large eggs
1 egg yolk
½ cup heavy cream
For the caramel cream
1 ½ cups granulated sugar
¼ cup water
2 cups heavy cream
¼ cup crème fraîche
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
1/8 teaspoon kosher salt
For the caramel
1 cup granulated sugar
2 ½ tablespoons water
¾ teaspoon freshly squeezed lemon juice
Directions
After creating an ice water bath in the sink and setting a bowl in the center, start the process of making the caramel cream. In a medium size saucepan combine the sugar and water. Heat the saucepan over medium-high heat and bring to a boil to dissolve the sugar. Lower the heat to medium and cook for another 5 minutes or until the mixture turns dark in color. Quickly remove it from the heat, add in half of the heavy cream, and whisk. Place the saucepan back over medium heat and bring to a boil again.
Once boiling, pour the sugar mixture (which is hopefully now caramel!) into the prepared ice water bath. Stir it as it cools for 10 to 12 minutes. Add in the crème fraîche, vanilla, and salt, stirring to combine. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and place in the refrigerator for up to 2 hours (or up to 5 days) before using.
Set your oven’s temperature to 400 degrees
F. Prepare two baking sheets by lining with parchment paper and set aside.
To prepare the cream puffs, combine the milk, water, butter, and salt in a medium-size saucepan. Heat the saucepan over medium-high heat, bringing the mixture to a boil. Take the saucepan off the heat and add the flour, whisking to combine. Place the saucepan back over the heat and cook for 4 to 5 minutes, stirring constantly. When finished the mixture should start to pull away from the sides of the saucepan. Pour the mixture into a mixing bowl and beat with an electric mixer for 1 minute on medium speed.
Continue beating as you add the eggs (not the single egg yolk) one at a time, mixing after each one is added. Use a spatula to transfer the dough into a pastry bag with a round tip. Use the bag to pipe the cream puffs into quarter-sized mounds on the prepared baking sheets.
In a clean mixing bowl, combine the egg yolk and heavy cream with a whisk. Brush the egg wash over the tops of the cream puff dough. Set the baking sheets in the preheated oven and bake for about 22 minutes or until the tops begin to turn golden brown. Allow the puffs to cool on the baking sheets set on top of cooling racks.
Once the puffs cool, place the remaining cup of heavy cream from the caramel cream recipe in a mixing bowl and beat with an electric mixer until it holds stiff peaks. Take the cooled caramel out of the refrigerator and fold in the whipped cream. Use a whisk if necessary to thicken the mixture, whisking for a minute or two. Transfer the caramel cream into a pastry bag with round tip. Place the tip into the bottom of each cream puff and fill, setting the cream puffs back on the baking sheets as you finish.
When you are ready to assemble the Croquembouche, prepare the caramel by creating another ice-water bath in the sink. Place all of the caramel ingredients in a small saucepan and heat over medium heat. Allow the caramel to cook for 5 minutes so that the sugar dissolves – don’t stir as it cooks. Adjust the heat to high and cook the caramel for another 5 minutes or until it is dark in color. Every minute or so swirl the pan to make sure the caramel cooks evenly. Take the caramel off the heat and place the bottom of the saucepan in the ice water to stop the cooking – this just takes a few seconds.
