A Beautiful Acceptance (the NYC series Book 2)

by Alora Kate

  “You know, Lex, you were right,” Ki called from her room after we dumped our stuff onto the table. I waited, knowing she wasn’t done. “We spend every single day together, but we haven’t had time to just . . . be. Ya know?”

  “I totally agree.” I passed her room on the way to mine. I needed to be in comfy clothes, stat. I went through my drawers, looking for my soft cotton shorts and a tank top.

  Ki slid into my room, wearing ridiculous knee-high thick socks and a gel eye-mask, with a hot pink scarf wrapped around her neck, the ends flapping behind her. She looked like the worst superhero New York would ever have, but she was my Ki, and I loved her. She held two packets in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other. “Let’s have a girls’ night, Lex!”

  I cocked an eyebrow at her outfit and she puffed out her chest and did a Superman pose. “Super Ki is going to order pizza!” She made a fake trumpet noise before she slid back down the hallway.

  “Ki! Careful of your arm!” I shouted and waited a minute, listening for a crash that, thankfully, never came. Smiling to myself, I grabbed my own pair of thick socks and scarf. Ki wasn’t going to be the only one playing dress up in this apartment. I grabbed my horned headband from last Halloween.

  Everyone knows a good superhero needs their own super villain.

  Thirty minutes later, the pizza man left with a smile on his face. Ki answered the door, and I damn near tackled her, like a villain would, for the pizza. We refilled our wine glasses and settled in on the couch. I looked at my best friend, really taking her in. Ki has changed so much—happiness looks good on her.

  We ate our pizza, drank two glasses of wine, and Ki filled me in more on her relationship with Prescot. She was in love, and I couldn’t be happier for her. I told her about Tapper and my fears of what will happen next with us, and we agreed I shouldn’t be afraid of what I didn’t know.

  I cleaned up our plates and set the empty wine bottle on the counter. Ki flew back into the living room in a fit of giggles. She cranked up the music and shouted, “Dance Par-tay!”

  Yes, this girls’ night was long overdue.

  Thank God we didn’t have neighbors underneath us because I am sure they would complain about all the noise we were making. We laughed loud and hard from our over-the-top dance moves. Ki taught me the Sprinkler, and I fell over trying to do the Running Man. I blamed the socks . . . and maybe the wine.

  Definitely, the wine.

  As the night drew on, we decided pedicures and facials were in order. Ki whipped the packets she had in her hand earlier at me and we ripped them open. Sitting with our feet soaking in a pedicure bath filled with lavender and eucalyptus oil, we applied the dark green goop to our faces. Ki leaned back against the couch and launched into telling me all about the new book she was reading. I’m not much of a reader, but I loved when Ki told me about her favorite books. She really made the stories come alive, and I got to enjoy the abridged version.

  While we were painting our toenails—hot pink for me and black for Ki—we talked and dreamed about checking things off our bucket list. Ki gushed about swimming with the dolphins, something she has wanted to do since she was a little girl, and I kept mine more local—I wanted, more than anything, to go see a production put on by the New York Ballet Company.

  Ki hugged me tightly before she got ready for bed. “Thanks, Lex. I needed this girls’ night more than you could possibly imagine. I missed you.”

  “I love you, Ki. Goodnight.”

  “Night, Lex.”

  ###

  I woke up to breakfast in bed.

  Well, technically Ki did but Prescot was a sweet man and made extra for me. So, it’s kind of like the same thing. It brought back some memories of the mornings I had with Tapper last year, so I pulled my phone out and sent him the picture of us from last year.

  Not ten seconds later, his reply came in. I have the same picture.

  You kept it? I texted back.

  It’s a great fucking picture.

  The best one of us.

  The only one of us, he reminded me.

  I waited several minutes and sent back, we’ll have to change that.

  Yes, dollface. We’ll have to change that.

  “What’s that smile for?” Ki asked, walking into my room. “Wait, let me guess . . . Tapper Low.”

  “Tapper Low,” I confirmed.

  She crawled onto my bed and faced me with her legs crossed. “You seeing him today?”

  “I hope so.”

  “Good. Prescot has some stuff planned for us, so I’ll be gone all day.”

  “He’s very good to you, Ki.”

  “Sometimes it still feels like a dream.”

  “That feeling might not ever change.”

  “I kind of like it.”

  “We all do.”

  They left about an hour later and I got ready to visit Tapper. Figured I’d surprise him since I knew he was going to be home all day. When I arrived, I wished I still had that key he gave me so I could really surprise him, but I didn’t, so I knocked and he yelled that the door was open. Music greeted me and I kept my eyes on him as I shut the door.

  He was hanging from a metal rod that stretched out across the door frame to his room. His back was to me, and his legs were taped together, as he lifted himself above the bar doing pull-ups.

  Throwing my purse on his table, I interrupted him. “Why are you working out?”

  “Training.” He let himself hang, his legs touching the floor, then did another pull-up. “I’m getting back to my life.”

  Training?

  “You just had surgery,” I reminded him.

  “I’m much better.”

  “You’ve been sleeping a lot.”

  “Yes. And I’m done being lazy.”

  “Tap,” I said, standing behind him.

  “I’m glad you care, dollface.”

  Two more pull-ups and he stopped. His legs were relaxed on the floor, he took his right hand and put it against the wall to steady himself, then his left hand on the other side, and he walked himself down the wall until he was sitting on the floor.

  He adjusted his legs and pulled himself to his chair. His room was in disarray as multiple workout equipment had taken over his living room. The couch was pushed to the corner of the room and was now being used as a home for free weights.

  “Of course, I care. You just had surgery, you shouldn’t be working out like that so soon.”

  “I’m fine, Lex.”

  He pulled himself into his chair and started taking the tape off his legs as sweat rolled down his face.

  His eyes never left mine when he bent under the ropes to leave the ring. Raw heat flooded my core as I took in his lust-filled expression. I smirked at him and rose, smoothing down my black skirt. I filed out of the arena, making a quick pit stop to the restroom to freshen up before I saw him. I locked the bathroom door and did my business before coming out and assessing my reflection. I adjusted my dark blue silk top, making sure the right amount of cleavage was showing. Tap loved the cleavage. I ran my fingers through my hair, tousling it a bit, before I grabbed some clear gloss from my small clutch. Just before I left the bathroom, I slid off my panties and tossed them in the trash. Tap would love that surprise.

  I made my way toward his green room, flashing my pass at the security guard before I opened the door. I felt him before I found his gaze. Sweat still dotted his forehead, his chest gleaming, muscles still flexed. His eyes roamed over my body, greedily taking me in. Though there were dozens of people in his green room, all ready to celebrate another victory, Tap made short work of clearing the room. “Alright everybody,” he yelled, “get the fuck out of my room.” His eyes never left mine, and his people knew they needed to leave.

  As the room cleared, Tap took three powerful strides toward me, caging me in against the wall. Butterflies dipped low in my belly as he ran the tip of his nose up the side of my neck.

  “Dollface,” he moaned in my ear.

  I pressed
myself against him, arching my neck to the side. “Tap—”

  That was all it took. His hands were everywhere all at once, our mouths colliding together. His body was on fire and he scorched my skin with each touch. I could feel his hard length against my core and I moaned softly in his ear. He licked down my neck, popping each button on my blouse with his teeth as he moved lower. I smirked, heat flooding me in anticipation of him finding out his surprise. He tossed my blouse to the side and I ran my fingernails roughly down his chest. Tap liked it rough, and I liked it rougher.

  His movements were getting more desperate and I knew I could only play with him a bit more. I ground myself against him as he bit and flicked my hard nipples. He groaned against my chest and ran his hand lower down my body. He lifted the hem of my already short skirt and I knew the minute he felt bare skin.

  His breath caught and it was instantly a fury of lust and passion. “Oh, dollface,” he growled in my ear, “I hope you aren’t expecting long and sweet.”

  I giggled and pushed myself against his hand, inviting him in. “What? Does Tapper Low not have it in him for another round?”

  He turned me around, grinding his length against my ass. “I can do another round.” I felt his shorts slide against my legs before he pushed inside of me.

  Tap was right. It wasn’t long and sweet. He fucked me hard and fast, up against the door, our moans and screams echoing off the concrete walls. I came hard and fast, him quickly after, and we stayed there, connected against the wall, for a few minutes. His hand lazily tracing up and down my stomach, circling—

  “Lex,” Tapper called out and I shook the memory from my head.

  “Why did you tape your legs together?”

  “They get in the way, a lot.”

  “Oh.”

  “They do nothing. Sometimes I wish I didn’t even have them.”

  He wheeled into the kitchen and I was feeling stupid for coming over. Clearly, he was in a mood, and normally I’d fuck him into a good mood, but that wasn’t going to happen tonight.

  He grabbed a bottle of water off the island and I asked, “You doing okay, Tap?”

  He drank half the bottle and replied, “I’m great.” His fake smile pissed me off. I always was good at knowing when he was lying to me.

  “Don’t lie to me, Tap.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “I asked you not to lie to me.”

  Drinking the rest of the water, he set the empty bottle back down on the island. “Why are you here?”

  Taking a step back, somewhat offended, I decided I had to go. This was not the side of him I liked. This was the Tapper I didn’t like, before he forgave me for leaving him last year.

  I went for my purse and he wheeled to the front door before I had a chance to get to it.

  “Don’t go.”

  “I’m not staying.”

  “I had a rough day. I wasn’t expecting you and it threw me off for a minute.”

  “I’m sorry about the rough day, I’ll just leave you to it.”

  “Don’t leave, Lex. I snapped at you, I’m sorry.”

  I was so good at leaving.

  But that’s what I always do.

  I leave.

  That’s me.

  Alexa Tanner.

  I sighed, tossing my purse back on the table and pulled out one of the chairs.

  “Thank you,” he said, wheeling back to the kitchen. “Are you hungry?”

  “I shouldn’t be, because I ate a few hours ago, but I am.”

  I wasn’t sure what to say or do, so I was going to sit here and let him guide the night until I left.

  Chapter 21 – Tapper

  I wonder how many times I was going to fuck up.

  A lot.

  A lot of times, because I was still dealing with my recovery and now trying to get our relationship up and going again.

  It was going to be different this time around.

  I’m not the same person, I can’t do the same things I used to do and it infuriates me to no end.

  If I’m being honest, I’m scared.

  I’m scared I won’t be enough for her.

  I’m scared that she’ll feel our relationship is lacking because of my limits.

  I’m scared that I can’t make love to her how I want to because I can’t do it like I used to, and I worry that will become an issue. I know she said she was okay with my limits, but she has only seen the tip of the iceberg that is my new life.

  I can’t keep my life hidden in the shadows from her much longer. I wanted our relationship to work, for the long haul and she deserved to know everything.

  She hasn’t said much since she sat down, but neither have I.

  Earlier today, I found out I wasn’t chosen for an experimental stem cell research trial. They needed their candidates to have been recently injured. Why? No fucking clue. They don’t tell you that stuff, or my doctor felt like I didn’t need to know the details. I knew I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up about the trial, but it’s fuckin’ hard not to. My hands shook as I filled out the paperwork, and I found myself daydreaming about being selected for the trial, and then the trail being successful. I found myself dreaming of walking again, of moving my body again, of my body working like it used to. I don’t handle disappointment well, I know. But I had to process it, and working out was the best stress relief I have now. I punished my body today, working harder than I have in weeks.

  “I’m glad you’re feeling better,” she finally said after I had set the table. She offered to help and I told her not to worry about it. The Lex I had today was nothing like the Lex I had last year. It was refreshing. She was different. I was different. And we could still work.

  She didn’t do her hair or makeup and looked very relaxed in her blue jean shorts and white T-shirt. It was a nice look on her. To see her so relaxed. The Lex I remember from last year would never have left the house like that. Always hid her true self behind makeup, fixed hair, and tight clothes. It was all a distraction, all a way to pull your eye away from who Lex really was.

  Don’t get me wrong, I love my dollface all made up and looking hot, but this Lex, the one sitting at my table, fresh-faced and natural, was everything.

  Beautiful.

  Sexy.

  Relaxed.

  This was the real Alexa Tanner.

  For the most part, I was feeling better; the pain was dull but I had to get back to it. I had to keep myself fit. Get my body back to functioning on all levels. Stay active. In control.

  “Thanks, Lex.” I drained the noodles, dumped them into a bowl, and took it to the table. Then I grabbed the bowl with the sauce and meatballs.

  “Are you sure you don’t want help?”

  I smiled. “I got it.”

  “Are you mad that I came over?”

  “It threw me, yes, but no, I’d never be mad that you came over. I have a routine, Lex; I have a new life and I can’t be spontaneous like I used to be. I’m upset with myself, not you.”

  “I’m sorry that this happened to you, Tap. I know how much you loved fighting and how good you were at it.”

  “Not your fault. It’s something I still struggle with, but I’m dealing.”

  “One day at a time,” she reminded me.

  I grabbed the parmesan cheese, put it between my legs and then grabbed the plate of garlic bread and brought it to the table.

  “Smells amazing,” she said as she leaned over the table and inhaled the rich garlic smell. She smiled and broke off a piece before popping it into her mouth.

  “Thanks.”

  I watched her make her plate and was always happy Lex had a great appetite. I never had to worry about her not eating. She wasn’t the ‘I’ll just have a salad and then steal half your meal’ type of girl. No, Lex would slap your hand away if you tried to pinch food off her plate. I learned that the hard way.

  “You want a beer?”

  “Sure,” she said, biting into a piece of garlic bread.

  After grabbing us
each a beer, I made my plate and we ate in silence. I had to get her talking. We never had awkward silence in the past. I wanted to hear her voice, touch her lips, and remind her that this would work. Remind her how good we were and that we could be good together again.

  “Lex.”

  “Yeah.” She wiped her mouth with a napkin and set it on her plate, then relaxed into her chair.

  “I applied to a stem cell research program, but I didn’t get in.”

  She put down her fork and gave me her full attention. “Oh no.”

  “I want to walk again.”

  She nodded.

  “Stem cell research is my best option.”

  “Is this the first one you’ve tried?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, I’m sure there will be more.” She dipped a piece of her garlic bread into the sauce before taking a bite.

  “Could take years.”

  “Do they really think it’ll work? Not that I don’t want it to work, or that it wouldn’t—”

  “Lex,” I interrupted her, “don’t be worried about the questions or pissing me off. I know you’re not trying to be rude.”

  “Okay.”

  “It’s hit or miss, but it’s a risk worth taking if I could walk again.”

  “What about fighting?”

  “I’ll never be put back together. It’s hard for me to accept defeat.” I took a swig of my beer, trying to wash down those feelings, knowing I’ve yet to accept the new me.

  She reached out and rubbed her hand over mine. “It’s hard to accept a lot of things.”

  I wheeled over to her, and she leaned in giving me her sweet soft lips. “Thanks for coming over.”

  “Thank you for the late lunch.”

  Wrapping my hand behind her head, I bought her in for another kiss. “Damn, Lex, I wish you could stay.”

  Her response was to kiss me again and of course, I let her.

  Leaning her forehead to mine she said, “Let me clean up before I leave.”

  She stood, not letting me say another word, and started to pick up the dishes from the table.

  “So that doctor’s appointment . . .”

  “Yeah?”

  “What day works best for you?”