Just Breathe (The Blue Series Book 1)

by Chelle C. Craze

  My cell phone begins to buzz from my nightstand, and my heart races at the thought it could be a text from her. Usually after she gets home from work, she sends me a quick message. I pick up the phone and see a pretty nice set of boobs, but definitely not Cassandra’s. They are too small and too much of a desperate cry for attention to have come from her. Although, if she would send a picture of anything belonging to her, I think I would lose all control and find a release at the expense of my hand.

  I read the sender’s name and find out the message is from Lacey. I have asked her to leave me alone, but she refuses. If I could fire her, I would, but I know she is the vindictive type. She would sue my rocks off if I didn’t have a legitimate reason to let her go. I can’t really blame her. We’ve taken care of each other’s needs for years with the understanding I don’t date. However, as far as anyone else knows, she and I only hooked up once. What takes place in my sex life isn’t anyone’s business but my own. I tap out a prompt reply to her, reminding her that our arrangement is long over. It’s the same thing I’ve told her for some time now, since I saw Cassandra. I have to hand it to Lacey. She is persistent. I only wish her persistence would lie with someone else. Lilla was the last person I dated, and that was a disaster. I gave her my heart, and in return, she gave me a rap sheet. I came home early from work one night to surprise her, only to find her in bed with my supposed best friend. I’ll never forget that shattering sound of the vase as it crashed to the floor, sending hundreds of tiny shards and chunks of tattered roses across the ground. Nor will I forget the awful smell of rust I continuously tried to wash from my hands after stupidly trying to clean up the mess I had made. After all, it couldn’t stay there after she left. The house belonged to my brother and me. After she used me for everything I had to offer, I decided to use women the same as she had done to me. That was two years ago.

  In hopes of forgetting all these things, I tilt my head backward and close my eyes. There are reasons I’ve avoided relationships, but Cassandra makes me want to change. I do not even know what it is about that woman, but I’m lost in her. I’ve never been so captivated by anyone. Being around her brings me to life. My intuition tells me to run, but I can’t bring myself. My heart won’t let me. In the end, I fear she may be my weakness. She feels so right. I’ve thrown out the word “girlfriend” casually in conversation with Cassandra, but the shock in her voice was clear the last time I did. The most recent question she interrupted me with when I called her that was why I sometimes refer to her as Cricket. I told her I thought it was a cute name, but that isn’t the entire reason. A guillotine chopping off my pinkie is more appealing than telling her I knew her name long before we met, so I called her the first thing that came to mind, which was Cricket.

  My phone vibrating wakes me. I must have drifted off. Rather than looking at it, I ignore it completely and go wash my face. If I have to read another text from Lacey, I need to be more awake to cope with her. The water feels so nice on my face. I opt for a shower.

  After spending forever under the water to the point my fingers shrivel up, I wrap a towel around my waist and check my phone. Lacey was not who called. It was my best friend, Jace Dugan, whom I call JD. We’ve been raising hell together for as long as I can remember. I don’t call him back. I know he wants to jam or drink, or a combination of the two. Either way I’m down. I’ll ride over there after I text Cassandra, even though I’m pretty sure she’s avoiding me. I tap out a quick message to her, asking her if she wants to hang. She tells me she’s tired. She’s definitely avoiding me. Next, I send one to Amelia, telling her I’ll be with Jace in case she needs me.

  When I get to JD’s, there is no mistaking what he wanted by the display of mostly naked women in front of my car. He has always been known for his crazy parties, and since he has a pool, the chicks are in their bikinis. I chew on the corner of my lower lip while shaking my head as a blonde in a G-string walks past. It’s going to be hard to stay out of trouble tonight. Maybe if I call Dartanya, she’ll persuade Cassandra to come.

  Before getting out of my car, I call her. Hopefully, the plan will work. She wouldn’t tell me the details of how she is going to get Cassandra here, but I have no doubt it is good. Dartanya has always been good at getting what she wants from people.

  JD knocks on my window, glancing to the blonde standing beside him. “You getting out any time soon, jack-hole, or are you gonna stay in there touching yourself all night?” He jiggles the blonde’s tits with his hands causing her to giggle. At twenty-nine, he’s still bagging girls ten years younger than him. They flock to him as if he is some sort of gift to women. I’ll never possibly understand. I mean, yeah, he isn’t bad looking, but he treats women worse than I have ever.

  I think I missed the memo because the party is an ‘80s theme. Not that I would have dressed up, so I guess it really doesn’t matter. Just as I grab a cup of beer from the keg, my phone vibrates in my pocket. I look at the text and find out Dartanya got her to come. Cassandra is coming here. I let her know the party’s theme and then slam my beer.

  As I stare at my phone, smiling in disbelief, I hear, “Lucas Daniels, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were happy,” JD accuses and smacks me hard across the back. “C’mon, tell me. Who is she?” He pulls me toward the back deck for privacy. “It has to be a woman. We haven’t hung out for a while, so I can only assume it is a chick.”

  He opens a flask, takes a swig, and then passes it to me. The taste of scotch is a welcomed friend. He knows this is my favorite. I pass the metal container back to him and pinch the bridge of my nose. “Man, she infuriates me. For two months, I all but begged Dartanya. You remember Johnny’s sister Dartanya?”

  “Who doesn’t?” He wiggles his eyebrows up and down as he rubs his hands together, no doubt thinking of at least twenty different sexual positions he would put her in if he were given the chance.

  “Anyway, it turns out Dartanya is Cassandra’s best friend, and I begged her to introduce us.” I sigh, thinking of how long it took me to finally receive my wish. “When we finally did meet, I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. Normally, I’m on my game, and chicks follow me around, but not Cricket. She has been dodging me for whatever reason. She will talk to me on the phone and text, but she won’t hang out with me. I know she can feel what I feel. You have no idea,” I confess, shaking my head and feeling a bit like a chick for spilling my feelings. “She isn’t like any woman I’ve ever met.”

  JD coughs after taking a drag of his cigarette. “Shit, sounds like you’ve got it bad.”

  A strand of hair falls in my eyes, and I brush it back with my hand. “Oh, I know that I do. You might cut off my balls after this, but I’m going to say it regardless. She has me absolutely lost in her. When she’s around, I’m a better person, or at least I want to be. I’ve replayed everything I’ve said to her in my head, looked through our texts.” I shake my head and try to think of anything that could have caused her to distance herself. “Fuck, man, I still can’t figure out why she won’t come around. I think she’s afraid of something.”

  “Have you bounced in that funhouse yet? Maybe you scared her with that twig of yours.” He bounces his crotch up and down as he laughs. His analogies for sex always make me laugh.

  I clear my throat after nearly choking on my drink. “No, Jace, we haven’t screwed. We have made out, and damn,” I whistle, “I thought I was going to lose it.” I bite my thumb. Just thinking of her makes my dick bounce to life. “I know she’s my end.”

  “Look at you getting all romantic and shit. I have to meet this chick. If she’s got your fruits of labor twisted, then she’s gotta be something.” JD kisses his fingers and then spreads them open trying to imitate a French cook. “C’est magnifique,” is what he tries to say, but it sounds more like, “Say-man-you-feet,” instead. We had no choice but to take a French class in high school, and he never could get the slurs right. He was held back a year and was a senior when I was a freshman.

  “
I asked Dartanya to drag Cassandra out of the house tonight. I don’t know what she told her to get her to come, but she is, and that’s all that matters to me.” I laugh as soon as I realize what I have said. I’ve known him long enough to know he’s about to be a smart ass, so I decide to beat him to it. “Yes, JD, her coming is all that matters to me!” I shamelessly announce, thinking of her standing naked in her shower. I wet my lips with my tongue, wishing it was her body I’m licking, not something that is part of me.

  “Getting a chick to do that is all that any of us think about, Brother.” He sticks out his lips and nods his head. He laughs and then shakes the flask. “We’re outta scotch. I’m going to get us some beer.” When he gets out of sight, I take out my phone to text Cassandra. I guess all it takes is a little alcohol, and I don’t care that she’s been ignoring me.

  Me: With each second you’re away, I miss you more.

  She replies before my phone lets me know my message has sent.

  Cassandra: I guess it’s your lucky day. We’ll be there soon! I’ll be the girl wearing the boots.

  She hasn’t worn boots before. I bet she looks gorgeous. The thought of her wearing boots has me on the edge of my seat. I imagine her standing over me with her flowing red hair hiding her nipples as it cascades down her body, and she is wearing a pair of thigh high black stilettos and nothing else. Fuck, at this rate, I might as well buy stock in tissues and lotion. The only things I seem to be able to think about anymore are vivid images of her, and it’s killing me.

  Me: I’m the one wearing pants without a shirt...BUT...I’m not partial to them. I could lose them if you want. P.S. I thought you were tired?

  I wish I could see her face as she reads my reply. I know it’s turning a brilliant shade of red as it does so often.

  Cassandra: You better not lose them before I get there, or I’ll be a little bit upset. Dar has filled me in on what goes on at Jace’s parties. If it is anything near as bad as she says, then you need them on to keep from catching something! I was tired, still am, but Dar threatened to burn all my books if I didn’t come! Thanks for that btw…

  Me: Aw, love, I’m sorry. I had no idea she would threaten you, but if I am being honest, if I had known it would have worked...I may have done it myself. ;) See you in a few. Hope you are wearing your hair down.

  Cassandra: I am. Why?

  Me: I want something to pull later. ;)

  “You’re as bad as all the tail walking around here. I was gone for five minutes, and here you are on your phone.” JD hands me a beer as he points out how pitiful I am while he lights a cigarette. “I saw your brother the other day...” He is aware that my brother and I haven’t gotten along very well since Lilla, and I don’t talk to him all that often. If I could get by without speaking to him at all, I would. Yet, for Amelia’s sake, I try being civil with him in front of her.

  “Whose woman was he in bed with this time?” I fume, stealing his cigarette and taking a drag. Even though my older brother and former best friend screwed Lilla, he is still my brother. He hadn’t pressed charges when I beat the shit out of him, which I think he let me do. He’s in much better shape than I am on a good day, and I work out daily. In fact, he didn’t call the cops. Lilla did. I slashed holes in both of their tires after I left the apartment. She had me arrested for destruction of property. The cop also tried charging me for resisting arrest because one of the cuffs came off. It wasn’t my fault the dipshit didn’t lock them.

  “Luca, he is your brother, so you should cut him some slack.” He takes his cigarette from me and blows the ashes off the end. He is perhaps the only person who still calls me that. I can’t help but grin when I hear it now, and it’s all because of her. Dartanya told me that Cassandra was convinced I was a murderer or something when she found out it was my nickname.

  *****

  The sun is beginning to set on the horizon between two mountains. Instinctively, I shield my eyes with my hand, and I feel a hand wrap around it lightly. I blink my eyes, wanting to get a better view of the person, but all I can see is a pair of black boots. I hear her laugh and attempt to turn my body to see better, but she jumps behind me to block my view.

  JD stands and clears his throat. “You must be Cassandra. Name’s Jace Dugan.” Cassandra tries to remove her hand from mine, but I grab it and hold it tighter, needing to know she’s actually here and not another one of my vivid dreams. Regardless if she was blackmailed into coming, she is here. That’s really all that matters, since I intend to keep her as close to me as she will allow.

  “N-nice to meet you,” she stammers as she looks up at him. JD affects most women with his charms and good looks, but I thought she would be the exception. I am wrong.

  Her face flushes as he kisses the back of her hand and says, “On-shon-tee,” trying to say, “Enchanté.”

  I stand, brushing my hair out of my eyes with my free hand and soaking in the outfit Cassandra is wearing. She reminds me of a sexy cowgirl in her knee-high lacy dress that clings to her body. I’m not sure Dartanya told her the theme of the party, but this outfit is better than anything I’ve ever seen come from the ‘80s. Cassandra could wear a paper bag and still look better than anyone in my opinion.

  JD smiles and announces he is going inside to look for Dartanya. He normally isn’t a gentleman around a woman unless he actually likes them. I hate to tell him, but Cassandra is mine, and even if she wasn’t, she is still too good for him. She watches him as he leaves us and then shyly drops her gaze to the ground. She shuffles dirt around with the tip of her boot and clears her throat, trying to hide how he made her feel.

  I would be a liar if I didn’t admit this makes me jealous, and it actually hurts a bit. Maybe I’ve spent too much time thinking about how I feel and not showing her. She looks up from the ground and lets her lingering eyes focus on my face as she studies my expression. “Lucas, can we go somewhere and talk?” Her voice is unsure and shaky. The words you never want to hear from someone who has been dodging you. This can’t be good.

  “Anything for you, Cricket.” Leading her by the hand, I pull her through the field off to the left of JD’s house. As we pass the pond, I let her walk in front of me and enjoy the view of the white fabric swishing over her ass.

  She pauses shortly at the end of the pond and bends down to retrieve a flat rock. “You know, my parents used to take me fishing when I was little.” She giggles as she tosses the pebble up into the air and catches it. “We rarely caught any damn fish.” She glances up at me through her lashes, and the heartbreak is apparent. She misses them. She pulls her hand from mine. This time I let her. “Usually I scared away all the fish from skipping rocks. I remember as the sun set I would listen to them sing and play the guitar.” She flings the rock as hard as she can, and it skips three times before falling into the depth of the water. A single tear falls from her eye, displaying the pain of the memory.

  I reach out my hand to wipe it away, but she shakes her head, making me feel helpless. The woman who awakens every nerve in my body is breaking before me, and there is nothing I can do. Seeing her like this has nearly shattered my world, but I won’t let it show. I need to be strong enough for the both of us. She hangs her head momentarily and then runs her fingers beneath her eye, capturing the lone tear.

  Since this is the most she has talked about her family, I choose to let her continue. “That was before Dad left us. I don’t know why he left or where he went. I blamed myself for the longest time. I remember asking Mom if he left because of something I did. She was trying to stay strong for me, but even I could see she was dying inside. First, it was a drink here and there, but by the time I reached middle school, there was rarely a day she wasn’t drunk. The drinking I could deal with. She was trying to get help, but she wasn’t strong enough. I guess the reason I’m telling you all of this is because I’m trying to explain why I am the way I am.” She sits by the shore of the pond and pulls her legs underneath her.

  Kneeling beside her, I pick a marsh ma
rigold from the ground and twirl it between my fingers. “Love, you are sublime in every way. The angels wept the day you left them, and the heavens flooded the earth with their tears. I bet it was the only day in history that people welcomed the rain with open arms.” I grit my teeth and hope she doesn’t think I sound like some philosophical writer.

  She rolls her eyes, and I flick the flower into the pond, trying to hide my embarrassment. “What card did you steal that from?”

  “Too much?” I ask, not really wanting to know the answer. There goes my hope in not sounding like an idiot.

  She shakes her head. Looking up at me and smiling, she replies, “Lucas, I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you for the past couple of weeks. It’s just hard for me to let people in. After the way I acted when you two left, I was convinced you wouldn’t want to see me again. Yet, every day you ask to see me, and every time I make excuses. I was hoping you would come to your senses.” A nearby bullfrog croaks, causing me to jump and lose my balance, falling flat on my ass, inches away from where she is sitting. She giggles and covers her mouth. “Are you okay?”

  “Oh, you think that’s funny, do you?” My pride may have just taken a blow, but to hear her laugh was worth all the embarrassment.

  “Mmm…hmm. You got a problem with that?” Playfully, she nudges my arm. Scooting closer, I intertwine my fingers in her hair and tug lightly. “What the hell, Lucas?” she asks with an edge to her voice.

  “I told you I wanted to pull your hair.” I wink and pull her face inches from mine. She closes her eyes as I place a light kiss on her forehead. “Cassandra, can I show you something?”

  She catches my bottom lip between her teeth as I’m trying to stand. “If you must,” she purrs, as her blue eyes ignite with mischief.