The Fear of Surrender

by Morticia Knight

  “I do now. I want someone to keep me—keep me for good—the way you’d wanted to. I wish I’d known. I wish…”

  Evan’s brow was furrowed, the longing in his eyes painful for Thomas to witness.

  “Don’t, Evan. Don’t let yourself wish for what can never be. You have your whole life ahead of you to find someone who will be the right one for you.”

  He nodded. “I know, but I’m sorry I hurt you. You were very good to me and I ruined it, didn’t stand by you the way I should have. When Master Gabriel insisted I come down here, I thought maybe it might not be such a bad idea. I loved you once, so I figured I could probably love you again.”

  A thought occurred to him. “So you’re not here because you still pine for me. You’re here because you have nowhere else to go and it was strongly suggested by your so-called Master that this would be the perfect solution. Does that about cover it?”

  A flush of obvious embarrassment rose up Evan’s neck and colored his cheeks. “I…” He lowered his head. “Yes.”

  Thomas rubbed his forehead as the reality of the whole situation unfolded in his mind. “And now that you won’t be moving in with me and picking up where we left off, you’re homeless. Penniless too?”

  “Um…I have a few pennies.”

  “Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Unbelievable.”

  A noise in the hallway caught his attention.

  Of course.

  “Linus, come on in. I’ve no doubt you’ve heard everything already anyway.”

  He probably shouldn’t have let him spend any time with Francesco.

  Linus entered the room hesitantly, worrying his hands and avoiding any eye contact.

  “I’m sorry, Sir.”

  Evan piped in. “No, I’m sorry, Linus. I shouldn’t have come here and I shouldn’t have called him Master.”

  “That’s okay, um, you didn’t, um, you didn’t know who I was.”

  “No. I was wrong.”

  “It’s not your fault, you, um, you didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

  Thomas stuck two fingers in his mouth and whistled. They both whirled the heads around to face him.

  “That’s enough.” Thomas straightened his suit coat, frustration bubbling under his skin. “Now. I need to figure out what we’re going to do with you.”

  Thomas frowned. He wouldn’t throw Evan in the streets, but he couldn’t possibly have both Linus and Evan under the same roof. Even if both men were attempting to be friendly, it wouldn’t be fair to Linus to begin their new life together with the specter of Thomas’ old one hovering over them.

  “Sir?”

  He turned to his boy. Linus appeared less anxious, but Thomas still wished he could embrace him. Wished he could his soothe his fears away, pamper him, love him.

  “What is it?”

  “Couldn’t Evan go to the guesthouse at Aaron’s and Sam’s and stay there?”

  Thomas arched his eyebrows at Linus. Why the hell hadn’t he thought of that?

  A smile tugged at his lips. “What a perfectly wonderful idea.” He turned to Evan. “Tell me, how much experience do you have with plants?”

  Chapter Twelve

  Their first day living together hadn’t gone the way Linus had hoped, but their evening was getting increasingly better. After calling up Aaron and asking if Evan could stay there, they’d loaded him in the car then taken him on a quick shopping trip. The jerk who’d dumped him had left him without anything but the clothes on his back. Linus had wanted to ask where all the things were that he knew Thomas must’ve gotten him, but didn’t think it was his place. He’d already pushed it as it was by eavesdropping on their conversation.

  Then they’d all stopped for some lunch before continuing to Sam and Aaron’s. From the way Evan had wolfed down his burger, it was obvious he hadn’t eaten in a while. Linus kept vacillating between feeling bad for Evan and feeling jealousy toward him. After he’d heard everything that had gone on, Linus had reached the conclusion that he was the one who now held Thomas’ love. He’d also heard Evan admit that he didn’t love Thomas any more. He supposed it would take time to get used to the whole thing. Evan did seem like a nice enough fellow, and what had happened to him was terrible.

  Thomas and Linus were back at the house—their house—and it was still fairly early. He grinned to himself when he remembered how Thomas had made a point of saying that it was their bedroom earlier. He was nude, waiting for Thomas to get out of the shower. There were times they’d washed together, but his lover had told him that he didn’t want either of them to come until they were together in bed.

  He sat in the center of the mattress, his knees drawn up to his chin as he hugged them to his body. He’d cleared the off the covers so that they could enjoy each other uninhibitedly. He’d questioned Thomas as to whether he should be on his knees or get in any specific position, but Thomas had told him to relax on the bed until he’d finished grooming.

  “There’s my wonderful boy.”

  Thomas glided in the room, still idly drying off his body, his lean muscles rippling as he completed the task. Linus licked his lips, his shaft lengthening at the sight of his lover’s masculine beauty. Thomas tossed the towel aside then dropped on the bed next to him.

  “Mmm, nice.” Thomas pulled at his hands, encouraging Linus to bare himself to Thomas’ eyes. “Yes, there it is.” Thomas encircled his cock, the bindings mercifully removed already. “Your velvet flesh, hardening at the sound of my voice, the touch of my fingers.”

  He stroked him with languid movements. There was no hurry to the encounter. Linus was prepared for Thomas to play with him, to tease him for a long time to celebrate their first night living together. There’d been hints at a punishment because of the way Linus had disobeyed him earlier and for the eavesdropping. But Thomas had also said it could wait for another day.

  Thomas released Linus’ dick then pushed him down onto his back by his shoulders. “No coming. Perhaps not at all.”

  Linus widened his eyes.

  “We’ll see.”

  As Linus lay there, Thomas stroked and kneaded his torso, his limbs. It continuously amazed Linus how much his lover enjoyed his body—he never seemed to tire of touching it. Thomas leaned over him then gave him a deep kiss. He licked at the seam of his lips, pushing his way in. Thomas’ hands were warm, soft. His kiss was hot and demanding. Linus reached up to wrap his arms around Thomas’ neck. Thomas broke their connection.

  “No. I’m going to restrain you—then drive you wild.”

  After one last peck on his lips, Thomas rolled off the bed then went to one of his dresser drawers. He returned with the silk ties he’d used on Linus once before when he’d spent the night.

  “Arms up, legs spread.”

  Linus did as instructed, already doing his breathing, readying himself to surrender to Thomas. Once Thomas had him tied spread eagle, he settled back on his haunches, observing him. He lightly scraped his nails down Linus’ chest then over his stomach. He teased them across his abdomen and Linus felt his dick twitch and jerk, moisture leaking from him. It left wet marks on his skin and Thomas played in them, spreading them around with one finger. He brought the finger to Linus’ mouth.

  “Suck.”

  As he clamped his lips over the digit covered in his own salty fluid, he rasped his tongue around it, worked it as if it was a small cock. Thomas moaned.

  “That’s my good boy. You like that, don’t you? But you need something more. Something bigger.”

  Thomas removed his finger then lifted one leg over Linus until he straddled his chest. He leaned over him as he reached for something in the nightstand drawer. Linus couldn’t see what he was doing because his hands were held captive above his head with the ties. Thomas placed something cold and metal that had some sort of handle in his one hand. Linus moved it and it rang.

  Oh.

  “I’m going to fuck your mouth very hard, boy. I want you to take as much of me as you can—swallow and breathe through your nose t
he way we practiced. If you need mercy, shake the bell by the handle. You can muffle it with your hand like this…” He cupped Linus’ hand around it. “Then you can open up and grasp the handle to ring it if you need to. Understand?”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “Good, good boy.”

  Thomas rose onto his knees, holding his straining erection toward Linus’ mouth.

  “Part your lips. Let me see that pink tongue.” Thomas hissed. “Yes, so pretty.”

  Thomas bounced the head of his cock on Linus’ exposed tongue, then slapped it harder with more of the shaft. Linus tried to suck it in, but Thomas wouldn’t let him.

  “You want that, don’t you? You want my dick as I shove it down your throat. My seed filling your mouth until you can’t swallow any more. Is that right?”

  Linus nodded, his mouth stuffed with Thomas’ sweet manhood.

  “That’s what I thought. Such a greedy boy.” Thomas drove his steeled length farther in. “Take it.”

  Linus breathed in through his nose the way Thomas had shown him. As Thomas’ shaft swelled on his tongue and nudged the back of his throat, he instinctively jerked on the ties that held him. He wanted to draw up his knees, wanted to get some friction for his exposed dick, but he was helpless. Thomas had him, controlled him. He didn’t want it any other way.

  Thomas had braced his hands against the wall above the headboard, the action plunging him even harder down Linus’ throat. Thomas picked up a rhythm and Linus did his best to swallow and not choke every time Thomas slid past his gag reflex. Sometimes he could, sometimes he couldn’t. Water filled his eyes, spilling along his face. Saliva and the bitter tang of Thomas’ early cum overflowed.

  The taste was a tease, a hint of what he could expect soon. Sometimes he dreamed of the flavor. He craved it. He needed Thomas to give it to him.

  He sucked with renewed fervor, anxious for Thomas to release his cum. He kept his lips wrapped over his teeth, swirled his tongue around the thick member stuffing him. His jaw ached, his mouth impossibly wide as Thomas rammed into him. A sudden pulse then hot spend on his tongue, filling his mouth with the taste of his lover. He swallowed convulsively, choking for a moment, then sucking in a harsh breath as Thomas shot out more creamy jets.

  He dropped the bell by accident and Thomas jerked free from him. Linus chased after him with his tongue, not ready to let him go just yet. Thomas grabbed his face between his hands.

  “Did I hurt you? Are you okay?”

  He had to work his jaw loose so he could answer him. “I’m fine. I didn’t mean to drop the bell, Sir.”

  Thomas rolled onto his side then ran his hand down Linus’ restrained body. “All right, good.”

  Linus could hear the concern in his voice. He was about to reassure him that everything was okay when Thomas tweaked one of his nipples. He gasped in pleasure. Thomas had taken to playing with them quite a lot and Linus had found that he loved it when Thomas did. Each pinch, tease or twist, would go straight to the end of his dick, a surge of pain that transformed into extreme bites of pleasure every time Thomas worked them over.

  “Let’s see how much your little nubs can handle tonight.”

  Thomas licked one of the abused bits of flesh, then nipped at it. Linus jerked his body, groaning. Thomas eased off the bed and Linus couldn’t imagine what his lover had in mind for him. When he returned, Linus could tell that he had something enclosed in one of his hands. He opened his fingers to reveal what was there. It was two wooden clothespins, the kind with a metal spring.

  Sweat built on his forehead, his upper lip. He loved the way Thomas tormented his nipples, but this…

  “Can you take this for me, boy?”

  Linus met Thomas’ gaze. The love there was always so transparent that it made it easy for him to answer.

  “Yes, Sir. I can.”

  Thomas placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

  “I’m hard for you again already, boy. Your surrender arouses me so.”

  Linus licked his lips. Fear coursed through him, but so did excitement. Even though Thomas didn’t whip, flog, paddle or cane him—the concentrated moments of pain he did give to him were intense. However, the way Thomas administered them, they were so thrilling. From that initial time with Thomas when he’d given Linus his first spanking—back before they knew each other—he’d known that he’d wanted more. As he’d learned about all the different things men could do with one another, he’d realized that he didn’t just want more of the acts themselves. He wanted more Thomas.

  Thomas sucked one of his nipples, occasionally dragging his teeth on it, pulling the sensitive skin away from his body. His cock dripped moisture. He could feel it on his abdomen every time it twitched or jerked. After raising his head, Thomas met his gaze then showed him one of the clips. Linus pressed his lips together, almost forgetting to breathe.

  He pinched the pin open with one hand, using the other to flick the nipple he’d already teased to maintain the hardness. Thomas clamped it on in one quick movement and Linus cried out. It was too much, way too much.

  “Breathe sweetheart. You can do this. Accept the pain.”

  He closed his eyes, the ache so big for such a tiny spot on his body. As his breathing settled, he was vaguely aware of his other nipple being stimulated, being aroused. His dick was so swollen, so hard—he could feel the tiny heartbeat in it as it pulsed against his skin.

  He gritted his teeth as the second pin was applied to his erect nipple. Right as he’d grown accustomed to the one, Thomas had added another—another spike of sharp hurt.

  “Don’t fight, boy. Surrender. You know what to do.”

  Oddly, the urge to laugh came over him. Thomas was right. He did know what to do. He’d learned so much ever since that night when a handsome man had chosen to take him to a private room. His handsome man, the one he hoped would soon be his Master.

  The floaty feeling washed over him and he gave himself to it. It was okay because Thomas was there to protect and care for him.

  He hissed, arching his back as much as he could in his bound state as Thomas flicked the pins clamped onto his nipples. The action woke up his nerves, ratcheted the pain into harsh jolts.

  Thomas reached one hand down to grasp Linus’ cock. He stroked him slowly, idly flicking one, then another of the clips. Linus moaned, whipped his head from side to side, tried to push into Thomas’ fist, but unable to because of the bonds. The rhythm of Thomas’ hand on his stiff flesh increased, and pleas fell from his lips.

  “Soon, boy. Soon. You’re going to give me your orgasm when I tell you.”

  Linus nodded, whimpering. Thomas squeezed him harder, adding a twist, pressing a thumb in his slit.

  “Please…”

  “I’m removing the pins. The moment the first one comes off, you come for me boy, understand?”

  “Yes, oh, Sir, please…”

  He cried loud and hard as the blood surged back into his abused nips, the excruciating pain wrenching his climax from him. The agony built like a tide, cresting as he pulsed jets of cum along his chest and stomach. He panted and groaned, wrung dry as he sank into the mattress as if he had no form.

  The long licks from Thomas’ tongue as he lapped up Linus’ spend from his body barely registered with him. It was a distant sensation—pleasant but in the background. Thomas freed his limbs from the ties, massaged his legs, lowered his arms and kneaded his shoulders, loosening the tense muscles. He’d just about drifted off when Thomas rolled him on his side then tugged him against Thomas’ body. His lover curled around him. Covering him. Keeping him safe.

  As he dropped off to sleep, it floated through his mind that his life was unfolding in an incredible way. He really was only at the beginning. How could he have anticipated when he’d boarded a train back in Oklahoma that there was such a wonderful man waiting for him? He’d been alone then, scared, uncertain but desperate to make a better way for himself. The desire for love had existed then too, yet after being with Thomas, he realized tha
t he’d never understood how strengthening it could truly be.

  Thomas’ love had healed him.

  Epilogue

  Linus paced the length of the living room. Thomas was supposed to have been back from a meeting with a client at least a half hour before. The only thing that had kept him from coming completely unglued was his cock sleeve. He’d been too excited to work on any of the costumes for the play he’d been hired to do.

  There were several Renaissance gowns that needed trimming added, but he’d been so nervous, he was afraid he’d either stab himself and get blood on the clothes or sew it on crooked. He’d decided it would be better to save it for the next day when he was less worked up. So he’d carefully put everything back in the spare room where he kept his sewing machine and other materials.

  It was almost the end of the summer and Linus still couldn’t believe how much his life had changed. He had the love of Thomas—soon to be his Master—a wonderful job making costumes, and he’d almost stopped stammering out his words. It would occasionally flare up, but it was barely an issue for him anymore. He’d written his parents to let them know that he was doing well and had a job at a playhouse. He’d never heard back from them.

  There had been a frightening week when Preston had made a reappearance. Rather than going back to the club to claim his property as he’d always threatened he’d do, he’d instead discovered where Saul’s residence was and had attacked Kenneth. His friend had barely survived the assault, but in one of those strange moments that life could throw at you, Preston had taken his own life right after, apparently believing that he’d succeeded in killing Kenneth.

  Once they’d all been assured that Kenneth would live, Thomas had taken care of Linus, had spanked him raw, then slowly massaged every part of his body before sucking him dry. He’d slept for almost twelve hours afterward, waking in Thomas’ arms. It was then that Thomas had asked to be his Master and had offered to pierce him as a symbol of their permanent connection.