by Davis, Alexa
A very attractive human that gave me butterflies...
“You have my number if you need me,” I told Alex with a blush on my cheeks. “If you need me with Katherine, just let me know.”
“Of course, thank you, Elle. That means a lot. I’m sure she’ll be fine, though, I just checked in on her, and she seems okay.”
“Good, good. I’m glad.”
The smile he gave me back in reply made my heart beat faster. A lot faster. The fastest it had done in a very long time. I got the strong sense that I things were going to get very interesting from here on out...
Chapter Thirteen
Alexander
One Month Later, Monday
I heard the key twitch in the lock as Elle let herself into Mom’s home. Although Mom had gotten a lot better over the last four weeks, she didn’t seem ready to let Elle go yet – and neither was I. At first I was a little shocked to learn that Mom gave her a key, but it was so clear why. They had a great friendship, as well as an employer and employee relationship.
It seemed that things were naturally growing into a more permanent arrangement, which was what I wanted anyway. Mom still had the crutches and a bandage, so I wouldn’t totally know until that was done, but for now, all was looking good. It seemed that things were going in the right direction.
“Hey, Elle,” I said warmly as she walked inside. Her skirt swayed wildly at her hips, drawing my attention to her pert, round bottom. “How are you today?”
“Good thanks, you?” She gave me the most adorable, friendly smile. With her hair pulled back, her high cheekbones really grabbed me.
“Good, good. How’s Delaney? Is she with Terran today?” I was starting to get to know her schedule, but it felt good to ask. I liked to know what was going on in her life.
“She’s at school, but Terran is picking her up later on. Well, depending on what time I finish here.” She dropped her bag on the table and flicked the kettle on to make herself and my mom a drink. “How was your weekend?”
Ever since we shared that dinner together the night that Mom wasn’t well (although she made a suspiciously quick recovery as soon as Elle left), we had been growing closer. It was in a friendship way, there wasn’t anything else to it, but I couldn’t stop my feelings from swelling and growing. I liked her a lot. But it was only a little fun crush – nothing more. I certainly wasn’t about to read too much into it.
“Yeah, it was good. Busy.” I tucked my hands into my pockets and swayed on my feet. I didn’t use to stick around much to speak to Elle, but now I liked our little chats. “You know how it is. The plans for the next resort are coming along quickly.”
“The resort you weren’t opening?” Mom teased. “Not until I’m better?”
“Yeah, I know, but you seem to have things under control here. I can still be about when you need me anyway. It just... Well, it happened, okay?”
Elle giggled at me, her cheeks tinged pink. “Sounds like you’ve got a workaholic for a son there, Katherine.”
“I told you, didn’t I?” They shared a look which proved that they spoke to me a lot. I wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing. “Always working.”
“Right, whatever.” I rolled my eyes and made a move to leave. “I suppose I better go to let you two gossip all day long.”
“That isn’t all we do,” Elle insisted with a grin as she sat down next to Mom and they both started sipping their drinks. “It’s only a little bit of it.”
“I might get out the photo albums today.” Mom laughed. “We’ll see. I’m sure I had some photos of Alex at his tenth birthday party when he threw up all over the cake. That’s always a great source of amusement. His little face as it screws up in tears when he realizes he can’t eat the cake he’s been waiting all day for is priceless.” Mom clapped her hands together gleefully. “Oh, I really have to make sure you see them sometime.”
“Oh, wonderful. I’m going to get the hell out of here before that comes out. I do not need to see that today.”
“Your loss,” Mom shrugged. “It’s gonna be a whole lot of fun...”
I chuckled and grabbed my car keys before moving down the stairs. I knew that Elle now knew a lot about me. Mom had told me a lot about their chats, and occasionally, Elle would tease me about certain things. Surprisingly, I didn’t mind. It was obviously the little crush I had on her messing with my mind. My very private life that I always kept a secret from my employees was on display, and I truly did not mind.
I paused at the front door for a moment with a whole bunch of crazy thoughts racing though my mind. I couldn’t go back inside today to spend time with Elle; I truly did have too much work to do. But I couldn’t deny that I liked the idea of spending time with her in a more personal setting.
Can I...? Could I...? Shall I...?
Without even second guessing myself for a little while longer, I bounded back up the stairs and leaned in. Mom and Elle were leaning close, almost whispering to one another. I wanted to intrude on their conversation, but of course, I couldn’t ask.
“Elle?” I asked cautiously. “Just wanted to know...” Shit , my heart started racing. I wasn’t sure the plan totally convinced me after all. But it was too late to turn back now. “Do you have any plans for Friday night?”
“Erm...” Her cheeks flushed brightly. She almost wasn’t sure how to respond to that. I could see Mom’s eyes lighting up happily as she misinterpreted the question, as well. I needed to rectify this before anything got weird.
“I just thought that Mom and I could take you and Delaney out to dinner? To say thank you for all the work you’ve done for us.”
It wasn’t normal. I didn’t do this for any of my other staff members, but it felt right. Things were different with Elle, anyway; she was much more like a friend than anything else. She had a key to Mom’s home, they chatted and had fun – it would be fine, wouldn’t it?
I sucked in a deep breath of air and held it there while I watched Elle’s face run through a whole bunch of emotions. She wasn’t sure about this at all, but she didn’t look totally repulsed by the idea, either.
“That would be great,” she said eventually. She knitted her eyebrows together. “That sounds nice, thank you.”
“Alright.” I could feel Mom’s eyes firmly fixed on me. I knew that she wanted some sort of explanation, but I couldn’t give it to her now. Maybe later on when Elle was gone, when I’d had all day to think things through, I’d be able to come up with a properly acceptable answer. “Okay, well I guess I’ll see you later then.”
I made my way down the stairs much slower this time, relishing the happiness that bubbled up in my chest. For the first time in a very long time, I was actually excited about spending time with someone. This wasn’t like Kym. I didn’t feel frantic and desperate; I didn’t have the sensation that I was out of my depth and drowning. I felt happy, warm, and content. Of course, this wasn’t anything like Kym. Elle and I were only friends, but still...it would be fun.
I hoped.
As I slid into the car, I glanced at my reflection in the mirror. I looked like I had a coat hanger pinned between my lips. The smile was so bright; it was almost sickening.
Idiot, I thought as I shook my head. Stop being foolish. Elle is a nice girl, a very pretty girl, but she’s just a friend. An employee. Not someone I can like or even really consider in a romantic fashion...
Or can I? What’s stopping me? Maybe it is possible...
I needed to speak to someone about this – someone who knew me well and would give me some good advice about what to do next. Unfortunately, I didn’t have anyone like that – I didn’t have anyone smart and rational in my life – so Ryan would have to do. I could easily lure him out this afternoon with the promise of a round of golf. Maybe just talking about it would be enough. Maybe I’d be able to figure out what I wanted to do all by myself.
***
“Why the fuck would anyone get married?” Ryan yelled across the golf course as he hit an unexpe
cted hole in one. “What is the point?”
“To have a life-long partner?” I suggested, although he probably didn’t want me to. “To have children together and all share the same name? To have that security?”
“Pfft, fuck that,” he scoffed. “That’s fucking bullshit. No one should get married ever. It always ends in divorce.”
“That’s easy for a lawyer to say...” I started, but he quickly jumped over me.
“No, it’s not just that. I mean, I am working on a particularly bad case at the moment, but it really makes you think, doesn’t it? Why bother spending all that money on a dress and a suit and a ceremony, just to spend the rest of your life arguing over money? Divorce settlements, child support, alimony...”
“Your work has made you cynical.” I shook my head and took my own shot. “One day, you’ll fall in love and be desperate to get married.”
“Not me, man.” He glanced up towards the sky as if he was searching for the sun that had just tucked itself behind the clouds. “Anyway, what’s going on with you and the maid?”
I gulped. Admittedly, I’d brought him out to discuss things with Elle, but I wasn’t sure if that was a good idea anymore. With Ryan in this mood, completely down on love, would I get the answers that I needed? Would my discussion about Elle simply send him into another tailspin of pissed off nonsense?
“Nothing, we’re just friends. You know that.” I shrugged one shoulder, trying to play it down. “She’s a great girl, but...”
“Oh, whatever.” Ryan rolled his eyes dramatically at me. “Your face lights up when we even talk about her. If you ask me, you’ve got it bad. You might just wanna be careful she isn’t a gold digger. You do tend to attract the bitches of the world.” I nodded, getting where he was coming from. “I mean, that fucking tattooed bitch will be the next one in my divorce office. A slut like her, a cheat will always cheat.”
“I don’t know about that; maybe she’s happy.”
He eyed me curiously. “Since when did you start being all reasonable? It doesn’t suit you.”
“I just don’t care about her, that’s all. Kym is free to do whatever the hell she wants.”
Ryan didn’t look satisfied with my answer, so I just didn’t meet his eyes. I focused on the ball, on the club, on the shot I needed to take. He could give me that look all he wanted, but I wasn’t going to give him anything. Golf was supposed to be relaxing, not stressful with all this talk about divorce. Maybe this was a mistake.
“So anyway, maybe we should talk more about Mexico.” Ryan decided a change of subject was the way to go. “I still really want to go on our trip... I’m not going to let it go.”
“I know you aren’t,” I sighed loudly. “We’ll sort it out at some point.”
“What, when you’re less busy? We both know that isn’t going to happen. You need this trip more than I do – you need to get away.”
Maybe that was true, maybe I did need a break from everything to help get my head straight but now wasn’t the time. I still had Mom to look after, I had the new plans to sort out, and I had to keep this resort running smoothing.
“We will,” I half promised. “Soon.”
Chapter Fourteen
Elle
Monday
My stomach churned as I watched Alex leave for the second time. When he first asked me about Friday night, I feared he was asking me out on a date. My heart leaped up into my throat and the butterflies in my stomach completely transformed into butterflies. Of course, I wanted to go out on a date with him, what sane person wouldn’t? But my life was complex. I was still constantly on edge waiting for the day when Mark would come after custody of Delaney – I wasn’t in the right head space for a relationship. Plus, he was my boss. How much more complicated did I want my life to be?
I’d already been through a terribly hard time. I didn’t want to make that mistake again.
But then he changed it. It became a nice meal for me, Katherine, Alex, and Delaney. I wasn’t sure why, but somehow, that felt even more terrifying. Even more intimate. I agreed – it would have been rude not to – but I wasn’t sure whether or not it would be a good idea. I didn’t like the plan of bringing another man into Delaney’s life, even in the capacity of friendship. Not until I knew for certain where we stood.
“Well, that should be nice,” Katherine commented. As I turned to face her, I thought I could see the disappointment in her face, too. I just wasn’t totally sure what it was doing there. “I would like to meet your little girl, she sounds incredible.”
“Erm, yeah, it should be nice.” I stood up and took the cups to the sink. As I washed them up rapidly, my mind spun. “I’m sure Delaney will love it.”
The things I felt for Alex were just a fantasy. I knew I could never actually have feelings for him, but I couldn’t help fearing that bringing my real life into the mix would destroy it forever. It was fine to have little chats with him where I could convince myself that there was a buzzing sexual chemistry between us or a flirting undertone, but once he laid eyes on Delaney, it could all become too real for him, and that might all vanish completely.
“She sounds like a really good kid.” Katherine tried to lure me back into the conversation while she hobbled over to me. “From what you’ve said, she sounds like a lot of fun.”
“Yeah, she is.” I tried to smile, but my lips simply pursed together in a thin line.
Katherine rested her hand on my arm and gave me a troubled look. “Are you okay, dear? You look stressed?”
Everything bubbled up inside of me, and I could barely hold it in any longer. I couldn’t exactly tell her that I had a crush on her son, so I half talked about my other problems, instead. “Oh, it’s just my ex. Delaney’s dad. He’s started causing issues again. Every time I think he’s out the picture, something else happens.”
Katherine rubbed my shoulder in a reassuring gesture. “I bet not in the right way, either? If it were just because he wanted to work with you to spend time with his child, it wouldn’t be so bad; but it’s always about revenge and pain, isn’t it? I know that all too well from what it was like with Alex’s dad. He was a fucking nightmare.” She rolled her eyes. “Trust me; you’ll get through it. You’re much stronger than you think you are.”
“Thank you,” I said in a relieved tone of voice. It felt nice to have some kind words from someone who actually understood it. Katherine understood my situation more than anyone I knew, and her opinion was to be admired since she had come out of it stronger and better on the other end. “That really means a lot.”
“I’m always here if you want to talk, you know? I know it might sometimes seem like we have this invisible barrier because you work here, but I don’t see it that way. I think of you as a friend, and I want to help.”
“That’s so nice of you. Thank you so much.” I had really lucked out with this job, I couldn’t have asked for a better employer, but of course, that meant I wanted to work hard for her. I needed to pull myself the hell together and to just get on with it. “Right, back to work.”
***
I crashed through the front door to see Delaney and Terran crashed on the couch watching movies together. I glanced at my watch, realizing that I was a little later than usual. I’d wanted to extend my shift a bit to get a glimpse of Alex as he got in from work, just in case he’d changed his mind. I wanted to gauge his mood to try and work out where my feelings were myself, but he still seemed to be good with it.
It looked like I was going to dinner on Friday night.
“Hey, guys,” I gushed as I dropped my bag on the floor. “Good to see you both, how have you been?”
“I’m tired, Mommy,” Delaney whined. As I glanced down at her, I noticed her skin was a bit pale. “I think I need to go to bed.”
“Are you okay?” I leaned forward and touched her forehead. She didn’t seem like she was burning up, but I couldn’t help worrying. “Do you feel sick?”
I glanced towards Terran who shook her head. “I
think she’s okay,” she told me. “I honestly think she’s just tried. It seems like they’ve had a busy day at school.”
I tucked my arms under Delaney and carried her into the bedroom. My heart thumped in my chest as panic coursed through me. Terran was probably right, she knew Delaney well enough to know if she was sick, but I just couldn’t stop myself from panicking.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I asked Delaney as I tucked her under the sheets. Luckily, she already had her pajamas on ready. “You tell me if you don’t feel well.”
“No, I’m okay.” She snuggled under the sheets, flipped on her side and closed her eyes. “Just tired, Mommy.”
“Right.” I took a step back and watched her deep breathing for a moment. I needed to say something, anything to make her feel better. “I and you are going out to dinner with my boss on Friday night,” I said softly. “So, I think I better buy you a new dress, don’t you?” I had the money to be able to buy her new things now. God, when I thought about all those wasted hours working at that damn motel... “That will be nice, won’t it?”
“I want a princess one,” she mumbled. “So I can look beautiful.”
“We can go after I finish work on Thursday,” I promised her. “Okay?”
I stood in the doorframe and watched her drift into sleep for a few moments. As dreams claimed her, the tight knot of stress loosened just a little bit. The more I looked at her, the more; I realized that actually she did look tired, rather than sick. That was just my guilt speaking – I’d spent extra time at work instead of with her. I needed to pull my head out my ass and switch my obsession with Alex off.
It isn’t ever going to happen. Anyway, I told myself angrily. I need to remember what’s important in life.
I wasn’t even looking for love, so it hardly mattered. Just because Mark’s promise to fight for custody hadn’t come to fruition yet didn’t mean it wouldn’t. If I knew Mark, he was biding his time until the punch would cause me the most dramatic pain.
