by Davis, Alexa
As I thrust above him in the passenger’s seat of my crappy car, banging my head occasionally on the roof as I went, it wasn’t long until the hot pool of pleasure started to fill my stomach. All the feelings that I had for Roy came floating to the surface, and it took all that I had not to scream like mad. We were already both panting hard enough to have the windows steaming up, so to any outsider it was probably very obvious what was going on.
“Oh fuck, Roy, you feel so good,” I gasped, running my fingers through his hair. “I’ve missed you so fucking much.”
With that, he started to thumb my clit, so every thrust brought me closer and closer to the edge of desire. The intense powerful pressure started to build, locking up my limbs, freezing all of my sensibilities, but he continued to thrust into me in a way that felt amazing.
Then, the waves of pleasure began to crash over me, shattering through my body, sending me flying higher than air. While my ears buzzed with lust and my body shuddered with a very powerful orgasm, I could tell that Roy was talking to me. I could sort of hear him tell me just how deeply his feelings ran for me, but I couldn’t concentrate on any of his words, not enough for me to make sense of them. I was simply being swallowed up by the sensations, instead.
“June, I… I…” as my body started to calm down, his became more intense, proving to me that he was drawing closer to the point of bliss himself, so I grinded harder, thrust more powerfully, and pressed my body harder against him, until he was crumbling under the desire, too. He gripped me tightly, clinging to me as if he needed me to center him to the Earth, and I loved being that for him. I wanted him to be that for him so damn badly that it made my chest swell with pride.
Once we were collapsed next to each other, panting heavily and giggling occasionally, reality started to set in. It was all fun and games, hooking up in the car as a spur of the moment thing, but this had the potential to be really bad. We were breaking the law, indecent exposure or whatever, and that actually had me a little panicked.
“Come on,” I gasped, grabbing at my clothes on the floor. “We better get dressed before anyone catches us… Oh fuck!” I glanced up in shock as a pair of headlights came towards us. “Shit, Roy, that’s the police. Someone must have seen us. Someone must have called them, and now we’re naked! Fuck!”
I tugged my clothing on as quickly as I could, getting it all totally wrong – back to front, inside out, twisted, but I didn’t care. All I wanted was to be covered up before I got arrested. I couldn’t imagine anything more humiliating than being forced to step out of the car with no clothes on, or being made to dress in front of a whole bunch of laughing cops.
“Roy, what are you doing? Get dressed!” What the hell is his problem? Why is he just sitting there, like he doesn’t have a care in the world? Doesn’t he have any fear about this whatsoever?
“Relax,” he insisted, far too calmly for my liking. “Look, the car is just passing by.”
He laughed like crazy at me as I slumped back in my seat, finally trying to calm myself down and accept that the end of life as I knew it was not coming, after all.
“Stop it,” I groaned, slapping him lightly on the arm. “This might be standard procedure for you, but I’m not used to acting so crazy. There’s just something about you that makes it okay.”
“There’s nothing standard about this for me, either,” he told me seriously, making my heart flutter. “In a way, this is all as new to me as it is you.” That made me feel all funny inside. It seemed to me like he was feeling the same way as I was, which was incredible. “Anyway,” he continued, shaking me from my thoughts. “Shall we stay at your place tonight, rather than mine? I would love to see it?”
Oh my God, was he serious? He couldn’t come and stay at my pokey little place…it would look ridiculously tiny compared to what he was used to. “Erm…are you sure?” I asked, uneasily. “Really?”
“Yes!” he chuckled at my silliness. “I want to get to know you better, to learn more about you. What better way than to see where you live? I just want to fall asleep in your arms in your bed tonight.”
I thought about the mess scattered over the floor, and the pile of laundry that I hadn't yet managed to get to, things that I really didn’t want Roy to see. Then again, he had let me into his home, he’d bared his soul to me, and if he liked me, then maybe he wouldn’t mind.
“Erm…okay, sure,” I finally nodded, gulping down the massive ball of fear. “That sounds good.”
I started the engine and started the drive before Roy spoke out once more. “Oh, I just need to swing by a friend’s place if that’s okay. She’s been looking after Tank, and I cannot wait to see him.” He paused for a second, looking at me thoughtfully. “Well, I can ask her if he can stay another night, if you would prefer.”
“No, of course not. I’m more than happy for Tank to come to my place.” I loved that dog anyway, so it really didn’t matter, but I also felt like if Tank was in my house, the chaotic nature of it might not seem too bad, after all. “That sounds lovely.”
As we swung by his friend’s house, a noticeably beautiful woman with a very cute kid brought his dog to the door. I could instantly tell that there was something between them. Maybe not something sexual, but a friendship that ran deep. It was obvious from the way they interacted with one another. I wanted to have that deep bond with Roy, that connection, that everlasting bond. I hoped that we would stick around in one another’s lives for long enough to get to that point.
As Roy piled Tank happily into the back of my car, I couldn’t help but smile. “You know, you can sit in the back with him if you want. I know that you two must have missed each other. It’s been like…what, four days?”
I really didn’t mind. It was totally cute to see the way that they interacted; it made me see a side to Roy that maybe others didn’t. He might not have had any children, but there was a paternal side to him that made my heart break. This man could be an amazing father, given half the chance. Maybe if his wife hadn't gotten sick and then passed away, they would have found some other way to bring kids into the world.
“Okay, we’re here.” There was no denying that my voice was shaking as I said those words. “Shall we…go inside?”
But neither Roy nor Tank shared any of the nerves that I did. They practically skipped with happiness in their step all the way to the front door of my crappy little apartment.
“Come on, let me in,” he joked. “I need to get the rest of this monkey suit off.”
“Oh, but you know I love the suit,” I pouted playfully, grabbing the keys from my bag. “It looks so good on you.”
“Well then, maybe I’ll keep it on just for you…or maybe not, because I’m absolutely exhausted!”
We crashed through the door, dropping the bags in the process, and I took him on the very quick tour from room to room. I half expected there to be some sort of judgment in his eyes as he looked at the tiny place I existed in, but there wasn’t. Not at all, just a curiousness when it came to me and my life. He seemed genuinely intrigued by me, which made my heart race like crazy.
“So, yeah… This is me,” I said, feeling really silly. I guess this had highlighted to me that what I’d desired the whole time was to be further along in my life. I didn’t want to still be working the crappier jobs at the local newspaper, living in the same apartment I’d been in for years. This made me need all of that with even more intensity, and honestly, the way I’d worked my ass off, I felt like I deserved it.
“It’s great,” Roy grinned at me. “Now, are you going to take me to bed or not?”
As we quickly changed into comfier clothes and slid under the sheets, I tried to recall the last time that I hadn't been alone in this bed, but I just couldn’t. I’d been by myself for far too long. This was nice, and it made me want more in the romance department, too.
“So, how was St. Louis?” I asked, wanting to keep the conversation going. The way my body was reacting crazy. I didn’t feel like sleeping just yet, a
nd judging from the wide-eyed expression that Roy was wearing, neither was he. “I mean, I know you said that it was boring, but I meant as the last hurrah, business wise. Did it change your mind? Did your hunger come back?”
“No, not at all,” he replied, a little bemused by me. “It made me glad that was the last thing I ever had to do. My heart just isn’t in it anymore. I’m looking forward to what comes next.”
“And…what’s that?” I couldn’t help but ask. “Have you made any decisions yet?” My heart raced like nuts, and my mind whirred like crazy. I didn’t know what I wanted him to say next.
“I don’t know; I really don’t,” he sighed, but it was a happy sound. “But I look forward to finding out.”
Before he could get any further with that statement, we were disturbed by Tank jumping up on the bed and licking both of our faces like crazy.
“No, no,” Roy tried to push him down. “This isn’t home. You can’t just jump up on the bed here, this isn’t home. Come on, boy, you need to get down.”
“Honestly, don’t worry!” I told him quickly, patting Tank until he sat down. “He can stay; I don’t mind. It’s nice to have this bed full for once.”
Roy gave me a look, and I gave him a beaming smile. I really did adore Tank, and honestly, the warmth that mutt was giving off would help me to sleep all night long without any interruptions.
“Thank you,” Roy grinned, looking like he could finally be comfortable and settle down in my bed. “I love him in the bed for his warmth, too. Especially in winter when it’s ice cold up at the ranch.”
But of course, I could tell that it was much more than that. Tank was a comfort blanket to him, someone who’d been there when his life was at its hardest, so how could I begrudge him that? Even if I wanted to, which I definitely didn’t.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Roy – Monday
When Tank woke me up just before dawn in the way that he always did, it took me a few moments to work out where the hell I was. The curtains were different, the mattress was slightly harder, the room smaller…but with the most beautiful woman alive in my arms, it hardly mattered.
I smiled to myself as I glanced down at her peaceful, resting body. Her face looked like a vision of beauty as it relaxed, her deep breathing was an almost musical sound, and the way her lips pouted as she dreamed made my heart beat a whole lot faster.
I considered leaving her asleep, but then I didn’t want to get up and wander about her home by myself, not on my very first visit. Maybe once I’d been there a few times, but I couldn’t now. It was her personal space, and I didn’t know what needed to be kept private. So I did the only thing that I could: I woke her up in a gentle way by running kisses all over her face and neck, inhaling her sweet scent as I went.
“Grnhgh, what are you doing?” she grumbled, refusing to open her eyes, barely even turning over as I disturbed her. “It’s not even light out yet. What sort of person wakes up at the ungodly hour?”
“It is…just about daylight,” I argued. “Plus, I want to spend some time with you before you have to go to work. And, you haven’t even shown me your article yet.” Any excuse to get her awake! I just wanted to see those eyes, that smile, to hear her laugh.
Her eyes snapped open at that, like some horrifying thought had just hit her. “Oh, I know I did promise you that I’d show it to you, but I’ve had some thoughts about how it isn’t quite right yet. I need to finish up the ending…but I’ll show you then. I promise!”
I laughed at that, loving the adorable way that her perfectionist side came out. This was so important to her, and when I saw that desperation in her eyes, I realized that it didn’t actually matter what she’d written. There was no way she would have been derogatory about me, so how could it hurt?
“It honestly doesn’t matter, anyway. I trust you. I’m happy to read it when everyone else does.” I slid out from under the sheets, and gave her a grin. “But before you go anywhere, I want to make you something to eat. I wouldn’t want you to go into work starving now, would I?”
“Erm…I don’t think I have anything, I haven’t made it to the store yet…” God, she was just like me . “But feel free to have a look.”
“I am a miracle worker,” I teased. “I’ll be able to rustle something up out of anything.”
She propped herself up onto her elbows, giving me an adorable look – one that almost had me leaping into bed with her. I wanted to devour her, to ravish her body again, but I couldn’t. She just didn’t have the time, and I didn’t want to keep her away from her job just because I was on the verge of having no responsibilities again.
“Oh my God,” I called out from the kitchen, glad that she would be able to hear me from where she was, proving that there were at least some advantages to living in such a small home. “You really don’t have anything.” I pondered for a second, wondering if I could take her out to breakfast, before realizing that might get too many people gossiping about something that was far too new. “I’ll run out to the donut shop and bring some food back for us both.”
“You don’t have to do that,” she insisted as I wandered back into her bedroom, but it was too late. My mind was already made up, so I kissed her on the lips, tugged on some suitable clothing, and made my way out into the brisk, early morning air. I had tried to bring Tank with me, but the look he gave me as he snuggled back up on the sheets told me all that I needed to know: he had no intention of going anywhere with me. I was on my own.
As I wandered through the streets of Florence, I was surprised to see more people than I expected out and about. People heading to work, people out to get the morning paper the moment it became available, joggers, dog walkers…it was a hive of activity and the sun hadn't even risen yet. I was so out of the loop, hiding away up there on my ranch, and it made me realize just how much I’d missed. I’d allowed myself to become isolated, to live all alone in my own little world, and while all that had been going on, the world had continued to race on by. Time didn’t stop just because I did.
“Morning,” I called out to random people, faces I sort of recognized, with a smile on my face. I didn’t feel like I needed to keep away from the sympathetic gazes anymore because in reality, they’d vanished many years ago. In the way that life went, people moved on from a tragedy, particularly the people who weren’t directly involved with it. It was only me who’d gotten stuck in the past. I had no one to blame for that but myself.
Once I got back to June’s home, I noticed that she’d fallen back to sleep while I was outside, which made me smile. It seemed to me like she was a real get up and go type of person, rather than the sort who spent hours doing her makeup before work. That was the sort of no fuss woman that I needed in my life. One who wouldn’t mind getting dirty on the ranch whenever I needed her to do so.
Tank was lying with her, too, fast asleep. After waking me up so early and not reacting as I left, I couldn’t help feeling happy. He was obviously so comfortable around June that he already didn’t mind being with her by himself, something I never would have expected from him. In his old age, he’d become comfortable with his own little routine, so to let someone new in was something else.
“Hey, June,” I hissed at her. “I have some lovely warm donuts here…” As Tank glanced up at me, I shook my head at him. “Don’t worry, I didn’t forget you. I brought you some kolache.”
As we ate our breakfast, I got a real sense of family – this was the sort of morning that everyone wanted deep down, spending some real quality time with loved ones, just being happy. I really wanted it for myself, and I hoped that this could be the start of something new.
***
As I arrived back home, I felt a positive sensation bursting through my chest. I knew that I still had a lot to do on the ranch, but it didn’t feel quite like the burden it once had. I didn’t have other pressures resting on my shoulders anymore, so it would be fine. I mean, I still had the business handover to do, but that wouldn’t be too difficult, jus
t a few papers to sign.
Before I headed to the barn to pick up my tools, before I even got home to drop off my stuff, I drove along the fence line to check what I needed. I had an idea, but because I’d been away and I’d had other stuff on my mind, I just wanted to be sure.
“What the hell?” I muttered to myself, noticing something strange around the back of my property. I couldn’t tell what it was from my car, but it piqued my interest so much that I couldn’t wait. I stopped the car and I got out there and then to check it out.
As soon as I moved my body out of the car, an intense cold, uneasy feeling ran through me. I wasn’t sure why, but I already had the feeling that this was going to be something bad – something that I didn’t know how to deal with, and I wasn’t sure why. My heart beat faster, my palms became sweaty with nerves, and I could even feel myself tremble.
I stepped closer, slowly, my brain trying to think of the millions of things it could be, trying desperately to find a rational explanation, but somehow, I just knew… This was bad, this was wrong…
“Fuck!” As soon as I got near enough, my worst fears were confirmed. It was a dead body – a stone-cold, dead body lying in front of me with glassy eyes and bluish skin. I couldn’t even take a second to try and work out what had happened because everything inside of me simply went into overdrive. I started to see all of the dead bodies that I had before, over and over in my mind, like I was having the worst nightmare possible.
My mom, in the open casket at her funeral, looking totally different from how I remembered her.
My dad, collapsed on the kitchen floor, the disease finally claiming him…
Shelley, in the hospital, with tubes coming out of every orifice…
And with that, I shut down. Every single one of my emotions shut down, and I became the numb void that I always was when faced with death. I took on a simple, clinical approach that my brain needed to, just to get through it.
