by Davis, Alexa
Matthew might have been silent, but I could tell that he was doing the same, and this gave us a bond. We both had a shared experience, something that we needed to recover from, and I had the strong sense that this time we would come out of it much stronger. This wasn't going to tear us apart; this was going to be another foundation that we could build ourselves upon... So at least we would be left with that.
After a few moments, Matthew turned to face me, before pulling me in for a deep, heart-stopping kiss. There was so much unsaid in there, so much love flowing between us, that it made my heart melt. “I wish that I could take away your pain,” he eventually told me, sadness lacing his tone. “I would do anything to be able to make you happy again.”
“You do,” I whispered back, allowing the rain to mix in with my tears. “You have no idea how much you help me, without even trying.”
“I love you,” he gasped sincerely, weeping along with me. The fact that he was experiencing this all with me, the fact that we could relate to one another perfectly, it made that connection between us completely and utterly unbreakable.
“I love you, too,” I said, holding onto him tightly.
Matthew had pulled through for me this time, going above and beyond, and I could tell that he was doing a lot of it to make up for last time. He’d proven to me that he would always be there for me, and that fear would never be an issue again, which made my chest swell with joy. This might have been the hardest day of my life, but there was a lot of good happening, too. “You really are the perfect man for me.”
Matthew rested his forehead against mine, and we stared into one another’s eyes for a few seconds. I could see his sincerity, his love for me, and it made me feel incredible. To have someone that truly needed me, and wanted me just as much as I did him... I didn’t feel like there could be anything better.
“Come on,” he eventually whispered, standing up and holding his hand out to me. “I think we should go for a walk; is that okay with you?”
I nodded, before doing as he asked, feeling the hole in my heart fill a little as we moved. I might have been saying goodbye to one important person to me, but I was letting another in, and that was a good thing.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Matthew
Tuesday
I walked Ashlee up to the top of the highest peak in Florence, allowing us to look over the entire town, hoping that this would help her to clear her head a little bit. This was a place that I hadn’t been to for a long while, but when she first left town I used to visit it quite a lot, just trying to see things from a new perspective. I always found it good for getting out of my worries a little bit, and seeing that there was so much more to life.
Considering all that she’d been through in the past few days, Ashlee was doing surprisingly well, but I knew that there would come a time when she would likely fall right apart, and if it was going to be today, then this would be a good place for it.
As we finally sat down, looking down on everything, the tears flew down her face faster than they had mine, so I held her close to my side while she got it out of her system. Even as her fists balled up in a temper, and she began to angrily punch the ground, I simply waited for her. I didn’t say anything, I didn’t try to help, I just waited until she was ready. I was there for her, which was the trick that I hadn’t learned last time.
“I know that you don't want to talk about the past anymore,” I suddenly blurted out, probably shocking her completely. “And I agree with you that we need to put it behind us if we’re ever going to move on, but I just want to apologize for it one last time, and to tell you that I’m your future now. I will never be that person again; I will be who I’ve been today.”
“I know,” she whispered, before placing her hands on my cheeks and pulling me in for a kiss. “We’re both different, and if today has taught us anything, it’s that.”
That didn’t feel like enough. I felt like I had a little more to say. “I just really need you to know that you’ll never be alone. I know that you respected your mom and dad’s relationship a lot, and I will to my utmost to ensure that I give you a similar future. I will always respect you, I’ll always love you, and I will do whatever I can to make you happy.”
“As long as you’re mine,” she told me seriously. “Then I will be happy. You’re all that I’ve ever wanted.”
We held one another for a while, just allowing all of that to sink in, until Ashlee turned to me with another thought in her mind. “So, what does the future hold for us?” she asked, giving me a look that made me want to give her anything in the world. “I mean, what do you want?”
I knew that she wanted an actual answer, rather than me simply promising to do what she wanted, so I thought about that for a second, considering it wholly. Since I’d had lots of debts in my life, all I’d ever focused on was one day at a time, because all I’d ever wanted was to keep my practice open, but now I had options...but did that mean I wanted to go?
“I want to keep on being a doctor,” I finally answered her. “I mean, I know that you probably think I’m crazy since I won all that money, but all I’ve ever wanted is to help people.”
“No, I know,” she grinned at me, seeing me for the person I was inside. “I knew that you would never give up helping people, that just isn’t your style. Did you...want to keep on doing that here? Or do you harbor some great desire to move to California or something?”
I felt nervous about that; what if she thought I was small town if I admitted that I didn’t want to go? I mean, she had already been off on some great adventure to New York; she knew what it was like to live a bigger life. What if she wanted that again now that she didn’t have her mother tying her down?
“I... I don't know,” I took the cowardly way out, and didn’t commit either way. “What about you?”
She had an answer for me right away, as if it was something that she’d been thinking about for a while now. “I think that I would like to stay in Florence.” Relief flooded me as she said that, because it meant that we were on the same page. “I mean, I know that there’s a big world out there, but this is my home. I’ve never felt the same way about anywhere else as I have here. This has always been the place where I’ve been connected, and I think I can keep my parent’s memory alive better here.”
“Plus,” I nudged her playfully, “as we already know ourselves, this is a great place to raise kids.”
“It is!” she agreed with me quickly. “And since we’re going to have three, we want them to have somewhere nice to grow.”
“Three, huh?” I acted surprised, as if that wasn't exactly what I wanted. I couldn't imagine anything better than having three children with the woman that I adored. “I think we should see how we get on with one first. You never know; we might do a terrible job.”
After some laughter, and a light punch from Ashlee, her expression turned serious once more. “I would like to continue working at the practice, if that’s okay? I mean, I love all the kids there and I want to carry on the work that I’ve been doing.”
“Of course.” I thought that went without saying. I might have created the job for her, to help her out, but I couldn't be without her now. She was a life saver in the office!
“I also might like to write some informative books, using case studies, too. But of course that’s if you don't mind... It might take up some office resources and time.”
I leant in and kissed her hard, waiting for her to finally understand that she truly was the most important person in my life. I would give that woman anything that she asked for, especially when I knew it was something that she would be so damn amazing at. I could just see her, making strides in the medical world, influencing other practices, being featured on television, at seminars, doing book signings... it was the kind of success that she’d always deserved, and it felt amazing that I could help her to achieve that.
“You know you have my backing,” I told her. “I think that’s a fantastic idea!”
“I have never told anyone this, but I’ve always wanted to write,” she told me with a dreamy look in her eyes. “I’ve been making notes throughout my entire career, waiting for the chance.”
“I cannot wait to read what you finally get down on paper,” I told her supportively. “I just know that it’ll be amazing.”
She kissed me once more, showing her gratitude, and I simply fell into her embrace, allowing myself to feel the incredible way that she always made me feel. My heart pounded loudly, bursting from my chest, my emotions circulated wildly, and I found myself falling deeper and deeper in love.
“We’ll be together forever,” she told me, holding onto me tightly, making me feel special and loved in a way that I hadn’t ever felt before. “I just know it. We’ve always been meant to be, and now I feel like we can do it. We’ve grown up now, we’ve learnt some harsh lessons, and now we’re ready. It might have taken us a while to get to the right place, but it feels good to have made it, like a real achievement.”
She was right, I knew it right away, and it made a massive grin burst out onto my face. We had come far, and we’d made it back to one another, which spoke volumes about us as a couple. “I can’t wait for the amazing future that awaits us,” I said excitedly, pictures of what we could be filling my mind. “I love you, I love you so much and I really can’t wait for it.”
I always knew that Ashlee Baker was going to be the girl that I ended up marrying; now I could finally make that happen.
Epilogue
Ashlee
6 Months Later
I stepped out of the meeting with my publisher, grinning brightly. That meeting was a positive one, and my medial writing career was looking to be a successful one.
Since I had all my notes from over the years, the first book hadn’t taken me very long to write, and surprisingly, I’d managed to get a publisher’s interest quickly...so much so that they wanted me to write a series. They claimed that my writing style was entertaining as well as informative and that it could speak to other health professionals, teachers, and parents of children with speech difficulties equally, which would turn out to be quite a large market, much more than what I was expecting.
As soon as I was outside, I tugged my phone out of my pocket to speak to the one person that needed to know right away, my rock in all of this.
“Hello?” Matthew answered, sounding about as on edge as I’d been feeling that morning. I already knew that he wanted to know how my meeting had gone, and I couldn't wait to put him out of his misery. “How was it?”
“Excellent,” I squealed. “I cannot believe it; they want me to write a whole series.”
“That’s incredible!” he gasped, so excited for me. “Although I’m not surprised; your book is amazing.”
“Yeah, but you have to say that,” I joked, feeling like I was walking on cloud nine. “The publishers don't.”
“Well, while we’re sharing the good news, I have some for you...” he trailed off, leaving me hanging. “I’ve won an award, one that I didn’t even realize that I was nominated for, for my practice. The awards ceremony is tonight. Do you think that you’ll be back from the city soon enough to come with me?”
“Oh my God, of course I will,” I promised, knowing I would race back if I needed to. “That’s such good news. I can’t believe it. I mean, I can because you’re such a good doctor... Oh, you know what I mean.”
My head was all over the place, jumping about with everything. Ever since the horror of losing my mom, things had been going well for me and Matthew, making us both so happy. That suggested to me that not only was my mom watching over us, but we were also both where we needed to be. We had made the right decision in picking one another. “This will look good for the charity foundation, too.”
We had started up a charity in Mom’s name to help fund research, with Matthew putting in a lot of his lottery winnings, and that cash was going to do a whole lot of good. Not only were we raising a lot of awareness, we’d also commissioned projects to help families of cancer sufferers; housing for family members nearby hospitals, specialized, dedicated nurses to help each patient, funding for new treatments...anything to help others through their own, traumatic journey.
“I have to get things organized.” I could tell that Matthew was smiling as he said that, which made me grin, too. “So, I’ll speak to you later, okay?”
On the drive back home, I called Kerri to tell her the good news, too. We were closer than ever, which helped because she was going through a lot of life changes, too, which meant that we could support one another.
On seeing me finally let my guard down with Matthew, she seemed to do the same for Willy, and now they were in the happiest relationship I’d ever seen. Without all the barriers that she’d set up for herself, she could finally just be , and it was perfect. They were so meant to be, it was crazy.
The other big news, although only the four of us knew about it at the moment, was that they were having another baby, and I was over the moon for them. If anyone deserved to finally have that family unit, it was them. They’d jumped over endless hurdles to get there, but now they’d made it – a sentiment that Matthew and I could relate to.
Despite all the craziness in her own life, she still managed to find time to be happy for me and my successes, and when I told her what had happened with the publisher, she screamed with joy for me.
When I thought about that chat Matthew and I had on that hill, where we both confessed that we wanted to stay living in Florence, I was grateful for that choice. I had my mom’s home, a job that I loved, my man, my best friend: why in world would I want to go anywhere else? I was just lucky that Matthew felt the same way. Things could have gone very differently if not.
Or not. I probably would have followed him to the ends of the Earth.
As I eventually pulled up at Mom’s home, my heart fluttered once more. At one point, Matthew had asked me to move in with him, but I hadn’t felt ready to leave Mom’s home behind, but maybe I would be soon. I didn’t think that I could ever sell it, or even rent it just yet...not when everything was exactly as she had left it, but I might have been ready to try something a little different.
After all, I could talk to Mom in my mind anywhere. I didn’t have to be in her bedroom, even if it was where I felt most comfortable.
Well, Mom, I thought happily. Look where I am now. Who would have thought it? I have a book about to be published, Matthew is doing well in his clinic, and I’m about to get dressed to go to an awards ceremony. I miss you like crazy, but I’m happy, too.
I’d gotten to a place where I never thought I would, and that was a huge step forward for me.
*****
I glanced at my reflection in the full-length mirror once more, hoping that I looked okay. I had opted for a floor-length, maroon gown that hugged my curves in a nice way, but I couldn't help being a little critical of myself. I just wasn't sure if the look was quite right and considering I’d had no time to prepare, I was pretty much stuck with it.
Knock, knock.
Especially since Matthew was already there!
“Coming!” I called out, feeling my heart race all over again. Even after all this time, even after everything that we’d been through, he still gave me butterflies. I guessed that he always would.
As I swung the door open, I felt stunned as I saw the gorgeous man standing in front of me. He was wearing a tailored tuxedo that showed him in his absolute best light, causing me to fall in love with him all over again.
“Wow,” I giggled, excitedly. “You look amazing.”
“You don't look so bad yourself,” he grinned before tugging at my arm. “But if we don't leave now, we’re going to be late.”
I had to forgive him for all the rushing around because there was no denying from his pale, sickly expression that he was nervous as all hell. In fact, he looked more anxious than I’d ever seen him before, which had me gripping tightly onto his hand in a reassuring gesture.
I w
anted him to know that he would be fine, that he was amazing at his job and that I was certain that he would win, but it didn’t feel like the right thing to say. I felt like he needed my silence for a moment, so that was what I gave him.
At least, until the car pulled up at the docks.
“Wait... What is this?” I asked him curiously. Was this some crazy detour for some weird, unknown reason? And why was Matthew looking at me like this was exactly what he wanted? He didn’t say anything; he simply slid out from the car, and indicated for me to follow.
As the fresh air hit my face, I found myself looking up at Willy’s boat, but it looked completely different from the other times that I’d seen it. I wasn't sure quite what it was, but as I turned to ask Matthew again what the hell was going on, he gave me a look that had me silenced. I wasn't sure why, but I suddenly had the distinct impression that whatever was about to happen would be life changing.
“Come with me,” he said calmly to me, finally looking like he was a relaxing a little bit. He reached out and took my hand before leading me onto the deck. As I got there, I clapped my hands across my mouth in shock, drinking in all the beauty of it.
Matthew had clearly gone to a whole lot of effort to clean the place up before decorating it with candles, red roses, and lights everywhere. This was already the most romantic thing that had ever happened to me, and nothing had even happened yet. I could only assume that maybe there was no awards ceremony, after all.
“What’s going on?” I spun around to drink it all in, and when my eyes fell on Matthew again I felt my heart leap up into my throat. He was on one knee, holding out a ring box to me.
What? Oh my God, is this really happening?
