by Davis, Alexa
Dad hadn’t even said anything yet. Who knew what way this night would go once he did?
Right, I thought determinedly. Get dressed, get through dinner, try not to fall apart in the process. That shouldn’t be too hard, should it?
But I already felt like I wasn’t good enough. I already felt like I should have done things very differently. It might have been my own insecurities more than anything else, but that didn’t make them any less real. It was going to take all the inner strength I had not to crumble by the end of the meal.
Chapter Thirteen
Zack
Tuesday
I sat outside a lawyer’s office with anxiety racing through my veins. This was the first step towards setting up my charity. I needed some legal advice, and I already felt well and truly out of my depth. If I felt that way before even setting foot in his room, how was I going to cope once things really began to happen? I wanted this, I really did, but I wasn’t totally convinced that I could do it.
What happened to the confident son of a bitch that you used to be? I asked myself angrily. Where did that guy go?
Of course, I already knew the answer, it all happened at exactly the same time as my accident. I could still be that guy again, the one who didn’t question any of his decisions whatsoever. I just needed to give myself time to get back to that place. I needed to find some of that patience that I so desperately lacked.
Without even meaning to, my eyes kept darting over to the receptionist sitting behind her fancy desk. She was beautiful enough, and she’d made it very clear from the second I set foot in the office that she liked me, but there was nothing about her that attracted me to her. Well, nothing apart from the shock of red hair that ran down her back. It was more orangey than Olivia’s, and clearly dyed rather than natural, but it was the closest link that I had in this place, and since she was all I could really think about, I couldn’t stop myself from looking.
I felt upset yesterday as I had to go to the physiotherapist office in such pain. The night before I had laid up in bed planning how I would torture Olivia over what happened without actually revealing any details. I wanted to flirt her up into a frenzy, even if I knew it meant that she’d push me to my limit. It would hurt, but it’d be totally worth it. Then I had to go and fall down the stairs like an idiot, leaving me vulnerable and sore.
Still, it all worked out pretty nicely. It was kinda sweet to see Olivia in a new light, and damn, her hands all over my body made me feel incredible, and not just because she helped with the pain. It made me realize that somehow or another, I had to make her want me again.
“Mr. Taylor?” the receptionist called out in a sultry tone of voice. “Mr. Nova will see you now.”
“Thanks.” I stood up and fixed my eyes on my feet as I walked. I could feel the redhead’s eyes burning into the back of my neck, but I couldn’t even give her a cursory glance. I didn’t want to do anything that might be considered leading her on.
“Hello there, Mr. Taylor,” the lawyer’s official-sounding voice dragged my eyes back upwards. “It’s good to see you.” He was a buttoned-up type, with serious dark eyes and very pale skin to match. He looked like the sort of person who was chained to a desk, which made a lot of sense given his line of work. “How may I help you today?”
“You got my initial email, about the charity that I wish to set up?” I really didn’t want to go through all the boring details again if I could help it. “I guess I just need some advice about the best way to move forward.”
“Ah yes.” Mr. Nova adjusted his glasses while he brought up what I presumed was my email on his screen. “You don’t know whether to focus on helping soldiers who are coming home or vets that are down on their luck.”
Dad and I argued about it for hours. I knew that I needed to concentrate on one area in particular, even if I wanted to help everyone. It was the only way that the charity would work and I could keep it going long term.
“Yes,” I agreed as I took my chair. “I want to sort out housing, food, benefits, that sort of thing, but I need to define exactly what I want to do.” I laughed a little awkwardly. “I guess I’m a little out of my depth here.”
“Don’t worry about that,” Mr. Nova tried to reassure me. “Everyone is at first; we all have to start somewhere, after all.” I let out a deep, relieved breath that I didn’t even realize I was holding as he said that. It was nice to know that I wasn’t the only one in this boat. “Now, with the windfall that you have described to me in the email, it might be possible to do both.”
“Both? Really?” I exclaimed in shock. If I did both, that would leave me feeling so much better about myself. Not only did I want to keep myself and my father happy, but it would also be wonderful to help more people. “You think that’s possible?”
“I do,” Mr. Nova nodded. “But you will need an office space and staff to work for you. This is a massive thing that you wish to start, and it’s best to have experts on your team. You need people working for you that can fill in the gaps in your knowledge…”
I nodded along as he started to unravel all the worries that I had in my mind. He gave me advice about the sort of people that would be good for me, companies that are designed to help charity startups, consultants that would be perfect for me. Everything that I had got my brain tied up in knots about, Mr. Nova answered and left me much more at ease about everything.
“Thank you, Mr. Nova,” I happily gasped as I shook his hand at the end of the meeting. I had mountains of paperwork balled up in my arms from him, and I couldn’t wait to get started on it. “That was an excellent meeting. I feel much better about everything now.”
“Well, you know where I am if you ever need any legal help,” he grinned back at me. “But for now, good luck with the startup, and I hope everything goes well.”
I practically skipped out of the office. I even gave the redhead a cursory goodbye since I was feeling so good. It was the very first time since I first started discussing the idea of a charity that I actually felt like I could do it. I had that sensation in my chest, the feeling that I was a productive member of society.
I grabbed my cell phone out of my pocket and dialed my father’s number while I waited to hail a cab. I wanted him to know how great I felt about it all now, and I needed him to know that I would still require his help. This was definitely something I could do, but not without him.
“Hello?” he answered in his usual curt tone of voice. “Zack, is everything okay?”
“Yes, Dad, everything’s fine,” I answered smilingly. “I’ve actually just been to visit the lawyer, and I think that things are much clearer in my head now.” I sucked in a deep breath before revealing the good news.
“I think I want to focus on both areas: soldiers coming home and vets down on their luck. I want the charity to reach out to as many people as possible. I might have to divide things a bit, but the lawyer reckons it won’t be hard with the finances that I already have behind me.”
“That’s great news.” Dad sounded pleased, which made me glow more. “I’m very proud of you, Son. So, what’s the next move? Did the lawyer give you any idea of what to do first?”
“Erm…office space, I guess. I need to find somewhere that we can start all of this. Will you help me with that part of things? I wouldn’t like to do it without you.”
“Of course.” He was clearly touched. “I can take a look about if you like, set up some meetings?”
“Yeah, and I’ll do the same. I’m sure between us we can work something out.”
“Perfect. I’ll get to it now. I’m turning my laptop on as we speak!”
“Oh, a cab has just turned up, so I’m going to hop on it, but thanks, Dad. I’ll speak to you later on.”
“Bye!”
As I hung up the phone, I did so with a big smile. I loved the feeling that my life was actually going somewhere again; it had been such a long time since I last thought like that. My leg had slowed me down for far too long, and now, finally, I c
ould use the shitty thing that had happened to me to do some good.
Zack Taylor, charity owner. I liked the sound of that!
***
Damn elevator! I cursed to myself as I staggered up the stairs. Lark’s right, I really do need to move.
He had been urging me to go somewhere new forever. I just didn’t ever have the energy or willpower to bother. Now, I felt renewed enough to do just that – just as there was another reason to stay.
Yes, it was a silly one since it couldn’t ever become anything, but I didn’t want to go while Olivia lived just there, right across from me. I’d still get to see her at my physiotherapy appointments, but it wouldn’t be the same. How could I go knowing that she wouldn’t be able to pop around for a quickie at any time she wanted?
No, for now at least, I needed to stay.
“God damn it!”
I smiled to myself as I heard a voice that sounded suspiciously like hers just in front of me. Only moments ago, I felt too tired to make it up another stair, but with the power of her voice racing through me, I found new energy all over again.
“Are you okay, Olivia?” I asked her as I saw her on her knees picking stuff up. “Why do you have so many bags? Too many to carry, actually.”
“Oh.” She turned to face me with red cheeks. With her pale skin flushed like that, she somehow managed to come across as even more adorable. Sexy, too. “Zack, sorry I didn’t see you there. It’s just groceries, and apparently, I picked up too many considering the elevator is out of order again.”
“Yeah, a nightmare.” I took a couple of the bags from her. “Come on; I’ll help you.”
“But your leg…”
“Is fine today,” I insisted. “It’s nowhere near as bad as it was yesterday. You know how it is with good and bad days.”
“Okay.”
I couldn’t help but notice that Olivia was unusually quiet as we walked, but I decided not to question it in case it was something that she really didn’t want to discuss with me. Things were weird between us; neither of us really knew what we were to one another, which made moments like this a little strange.
It wasn’t until we reached our landing and I placed the bags down outside her front door that she even spoke again. “Thank you for your help, Zack.”
“You’re welcome.”
She looked up at me for a moment with something unreadable in her eyes. I wasn’t sure what it was, but something about it made me want to kiss her. I knew full well that I’d be pushing my luck, but for some reason, I couldn’t resist. I cupped her chin softly in one hand and leaned my head forward. The breath caught in Olivia’s throat but she didn’t move to throw me off, which I decided to take as a good sign.
I moved in, my heart beat harder, any minute now we would be kissing again, and there was no telling where it would lead. Just as our lips were about to connect, I made the mistake of resting my other hand on her door to support me…and it fell through causing us both to crash to the ground in a heap.
Chapter Fourteen
Olivia
Tuesday
Oh, my God, I desperately thought as I tried to push Zack off me. How the hell did that happen? What the hell was he doing trying to kiss me like that? Why did he have to lean on the door, so we fell through? One moment, we were silently walking up the stairs and the next moment this was happening…this was a nightmare. I am going kill Zack!
“Zack!” Meghan called out gleefully at the sight of her friend. “You’re here.”
“He’s just going,” I snarled as I pushed him off me. I couldn’t stand to have his body near me right now; he made me feel ill. But that wasn’t so much him as it was the humiliation of the situation. I hated being seen in such a vulnerable situation. “Say goodbye to Zack, Meg.”
“Hi, I’m Peter,” my dad stepped forward and extended a hand to Zack. I tried to shoot my father a warning look, this was not what I wanted to happen right now, but he completely ignored me and continued to introduce himself to Zack. It was almost as if he didn’t care how uncomfortable I felt. “It’s good to meet you. Zack, is it?”
“Yes, it’s Zack.” He stood up and shook my dad’s hand. There wasn’t a hint of embarrassment on his face – he didn’t seem bothered about being caught in such a precarious position at all. “Nice to meet you, Peter. You must be Olivia’s father.”
“I am yes, and you are…”
“I live across the hall.” He pointed to him, towards his apartment. “I was just helping Olivia in with the groceries.”
“Hmmm.” I felt myself return to a scared teenage girl as my father gave him a knowing look. This was awful; I felt myself dying inside. I didn’t want my father to assume that I was dumb enough to jump into another relationship after what had happened with Meghan’s father. “Okay, well that’s good to know. This is my wife, Doreen.”
I rolled my eyes and stomped into the kitchen like a petty teenager as my parents insisted on talking to the man who wound me up more than anyone else in the world. I thought that I had made it pretty clear that I didn’t want him here, but no one cared about what I thought.
“Where is Lark?” Meg squealed excitedly. “I haven’t seen him for ages .”
I slammed groceries in the cupboard and made a big, loud deal about turning the stove on. I wanted everyone to realize that I wasn’t comfortable with this situation at all. I was struggling enough with my parents here. I didn’t want the third degree that would inevitably come from my dad later on after this.
When it seemed that no one was paying any attention to me, I slid my way back to the room and leaned my body up against the doorframe while I observed what was going on.
“So, Zack, what do you do? A strapping lad like you, you must have a solid career.”
“Actually, I was in the military until a while back. I was a Navy Seal actually, pretty much ever since school. An accident forced me to be honorably discharged, so for the moment, I’m just trying to recover from the injury. I still have a lot of problems with my leg.”
“Oh, you should go and see Olivia at her physiotherapy office,” my dad smiled at him. “She just got a job here nearby. Apparently, she’s very good…so she’s told me!”
I pursed my lips nervously as I waited for Zack to answer. I didn’t know how my dad would react when he admitted that we already professionally saw each other, but the panic was all for nothing because Zack simply nodded as if this was brand new information.
“Where are you from?” It seemed that Dad wasn’t done with his interrogation yet.
“Upstate New York.”
“And, your parents live here?”
“My dad does. My mom isn’t alive anymore.” Huh. I didn’t know that . My heart fluttered quite violently as I learned that fact about Zack. It left me a little bewildered and off-kilter. It made my heart open just that little bit to Zack. I wondered what happened to his mom. “But yeah my dad is still around.”
“I see, and your dad is the one who taught you to be such a gentleman, is he?” My father cocked his eyebrow at Zack. “Seeing as you didn’t think Olivia could carry in a few bags by herself.”
“Oh well, I saw her struggling on the stairs.” Zack shrugged and grinned. “I’m always the first one to help. Bad leg or not, I won’t leave a lady struggling with bags.”
“I’m cooking dinner,” I interrupted loudly, trying to put this meeting to an end before I got far too emotional. All of Zack’s answers were affecting me in ways that I didn’t want. I didn’t want to think about him in any kind of sweet way. Screwing him randomly in the middle of the night was one thing, feelings things for him was something else entirely. “So, that will be ready soon.”
“Oh, Zack, are you staying?” Mom piped up, making me roll my eyes. “You eat, right?”
“No, Zack isn’t staying,” I said maybe a little too harshly. I couldn’t handle that; it was far too much. “This is a family dinner; I would much rather it just be us for tonight.” As everyone gave me a terrible loo
k, I felt the need to justify myself. “Well, Mom, Dad, you aren’t here for much longer, I just want to spend as much time with you guys as possible.”
In all honesty, that couldn’t have been further from the truth. It was nice to have them around for Meghan’s sake, but I much preferred it when it was just us two. I couldn’t relax in the same way that I could usually, all of our barely there routines were messed up.
“I have dinner plans anyway,” Zack said thinly. He didn’t sound mad or hurt exactly, but there was definitely some emotion there lacing his tone. “But thank you for the invite, Doreen. It was really nice to meet you all.”
I followed Zack to the front door, edging him forwards much quicker than he seemed prepared to go. He shot me a confused look, but I felt far too blustered to explain. I would have to see him at another point to have this out with him.
“Just go,” I hissed angrily. “Please, leave.”
Zack leaned behind me and waved towards Meghan. “Bye, Meg. I’ll be sure to tell Lark that you were asking after him. Next time he’s around, we’ll come and see you.”
“Yay!” Meghan raced past me and flung her arms around Zack. It was a weird thing to see her allowing this man that was still virtually a stranger so far from her heart. I wasn’t sure if this was something I should be putting a stop to, or if it was okay. “Thank you, Zack.”
I watched him walk away, probably far too long since my family was behind me, and there was a pang in my heart as I did. I wasn’t sure what it was since I certainly didn’t feel anything for Zack, nothing more than physical at any rate, but I couldn’t ignore the way that my heart raced faster.
“He seems nice,” my mom commented idly behind me. “A good guy to have as a neighbor.”
“Mmm.” I didn’t want to commit too much; I didn’t want to spark off another round of questions. I was sure that it was unavoidable, but if I could minimize it, that would be better. “Yeah. Anyway, I need to go and finish off the food.”
