by Davis, Alexa
I tried to escape into the kitchen, but my dad caught me before I got there. “Do you think it’s wise to befriend the first man you come across? I mean, he lives right across the hall from you and could be dangerous. There isn’t any escape if he’s a horrible man.”
“Dad, he seems fine, doesn’t he?” I spun around and gave him a defiant look. “You seemed to like all the answers he gave you to your questions.” I shrugged and twisted again. “It hardly matters, anyway. I’m not dating the guy; he is just a friend.” Sort of. “I’m going to finish dinner. I’ll call you all to the table once it’s cooked, alright?”
No one answered me, which filled me with relief. I couldn’t take this anymore – my thing with Zack was supposed to be kept very separate from my parents. The last thing I wanted was to complicate things by mixing up the two.
***
As I lay in bed later on that night, I felt utterly drained and emotionally exhausted. I wasn’t about to get a good night of sleep, either, since Meg was in bed with me. My parents were in her room, and there wasn’t anywhere else for her to go.
That was stressful!
Hearing my father make endless passive-aggressive remarks about me falling into yet another relationship with someone I barely knew sucked all the life and happiness from me. Even if I had no intention of becoming Zack’s girlfriend, I didn’t like being reminded of my past mistakes with Ben. After all that I’d been through, I didn’t ever want to think of him again.
I had met Ben on my first day of college, and I was absolutely blown away by him. Having spent my childhood in a very small school with very few students, I was more sheltered than I realized. With his shaggy blond hair and his cute blue eyes, I was instantly sucked in. I fell for him hard, right away, and that only got worse the more time I spent with him. Since he was in my class with me, I couldn’t avoid that. He was there all the damn time, and even when he wasn’t, he was on my mind. I truly was a schoolgirl obsessed.
It took Ben a while to get to me. He went through many other girls first, but when he did, it felt like the sun was shining on me. I would’ve done absolutely anything that he asked me; I thought he was the best thing in the world, which of course left me in all sorts of trouble.
I don’t really know if I didn’t notice that he certainly wasn’t exclusive to me, or if I simply chose to ignore it, but looking back, all the signs were there. He wouldn’t see me a lot of the time, everything he said to me was cryptic, and he was so protective of his phone. I was very open with him, I gave him everything, and now I could see that he didn’t give me anything in return.
Then I found out that I was pregnant. Of course, it instantly went downhill from there. All the obvious things happened: he accused me of trying to trap him, he hooked up with other girls in front of me, he treated me like I was nothing… But I still held out hope that once the shock subsided and the baby was born, he would change his mind.
He didn’t.
He didn’t come to her birth, even though I told him about it, he didn’t want to know when I asked him to come and meet his baby, and he never responded to any of my requests for child support. He made his feelings very clear.
Eventually, I heard that he had another baby on the way, one that he was actually happy about, and that was it for me. I couldn’t live in the same town with him and his perfect little family. I couldn’t let Meghan have a half brother or sister that she didn’t know. I had to get away, so to New York, we moved.
I certainly didn’t come here to make more mistakes. I wished my dad could see that.
Chapter Fifteen
Zack
Thursday
“You’re doing really well today,” Olivia told me with glowing cheeks as I performed the exercises just as she had asked me to. My body was finally behaving in the way that I wanted it to. “You must be proud of yourself.”
“Well it helps that I’m having one of my better days,” I admitted with a smile. “And that I haven’t fallen. That makes a massive difference.”
“Yeah, I can tell. Your leg feels good.”
As she tugged her hand under my leg to position it ever so slightly differently, a bolt of anticipation raced up my spine. For a brief second, I imagined her sliding it up higher and higher until she got to where I could very easily grow hard for her in a heartbeat.
“So, are you going to tell me why you threw me out so violently the other night?” I demanded quickly, needing a change of subject. I was doing well at keeping our time in the physiotherapy office professional, and it seemed better to keep things that way. “After your mom so kindly invited me to stay.”
“Oh, that.” Her cheeks tinged pink. “Trust me, that was far more about them than you. I thought you might want an escape from the Spanish Inquisition from my dad.”
“He only cares about you,” I replied simply. “It’s nice. He seems like a really good guy.” I wasn’t bothered by the questioning; it was smart really.
“Yeah, I guess so…” She paused for a second and bit down on her bottom lip. It took all that I had not to push her teeth off of her plump, perfect-looking mouth. I didn’t like seeing it abused in such a way. But I was trying to remain distant…here, at least. “I guess he’s just a bit weird to me these days. It’s hard to come to terms with.”
“How come?” I wasn’t sure if she wanted to tell me, but that seemed an open enough statement for me to ask. If she didn’t want to discuss it, she never would’ve said it.
“Because I had Meghan at such a young age,” she replied with a shrug. “With a man who Dad told me would break my heart.”
“Ah, that age-old problem,” I said knowingly, even though I didn’t really understand it at all. “I see.”
“It changed things between us. I guess before then, I listened to everything that he told me, but with Ben, I didn’t. I didn’t fall pregnant until my final year of college, but because Dad held such high hopes for me and my career, it took him by surprise.”
Olivia glanced up at me for just a second while she bared her soul. I sucked in a breath and held it while I waited for her to finish her sad tale. “Anyway, it hardly matters now. Meghan is here, she’s the best thing that ever happened to me, and the rest will all be what it is. My parents are back home now anyway, so all is good. I can just…carry on like normal.”
I could have asked about this asshole Ben who clearly wasn’t in the picture anymore, but I didn’t. It seemed that having her parents around sent Olivia tumbling back into the past enough, which obviously wasn’t where she wanted to be. Maybe a part of her move to New York was to escape this Ben, and if he didn’t care enough to be with his daughter, he was missing out, and that was his problem.
Olivia was the lucky one. She was the one who got to know her wonderful child.
“You should come to mine for dinner tonight,” I said impulsively. “You and Meghan, I mean. Lark is back from one of his gaming competitions tonight, and he’s coming over. Meg has missed him, right?”
Olivia’s eyes widened in surprise as she realized that not only was I not going to pry, I also wanted to spend more time with her outside of work – and not in the middle of the night.
“Oh, right…” she answered slowly. “Well, I don’t know if that’s a good idea. I mean, what with Meghan’s food allergies. It can be very challenging to find something that she can eat.”
“So write her allergies down for me, I don’t mind working around her. She’s a total sweetie and really worth it.” I wasn’t going to let a bit of complication to get in the way of our night. “Let me know what she can’t have, and I’ll work around it.”
“Are you sure?” As Olivia asked that, I got the feeling that she meant all of it rather than just the cooking thing, I understood why. Things were already terribly confusing to us. Continuing to blur the lines would only make things worse, but it was exactly what I wanted. “I don’t want to put you out at all.”
“Of course,” I grinned. “It’ll be fun.”
; “Sure. I guess I’ll see you tonight then.” She dropped my leg and moved away from me. “About six-ish?”
“Sounds good. See you then.”
***
As soon as I left Olivia’s office, I headed straight to the store to get something in to cook for them both tonight. She was right about one thing, it wasn’t easy to find anything with everything that Meghan was allergic to, but eventually, with only a little bit of help with the store clerk, I sorted out a simple recipe that would suit everyone.
While I started organizing the food to get cooking, I called Lark to ensure that he was still coming over tonight. It was something that we’d discussed before he left, but there were times when he sometimes got held up in whatever city he was in. I really hoped this wasn’t one of those times because I didn’t want Olivia to think that I’d used Lark’s homecoming as an excuse to get her into my house.
“Hey, Zack,” he called excitedly through the phone. “How are you?”
“Good, but not as good as you by the sounds of it?” I chuckled. “I take it you won.”
“Sure did, baby! And, I’ll buy a bottle of something expensive tonight to celebrate.”
“So you are coming over, then?” I heaved out a sigh of relief. At least I wouldn’t have to have that awkward conversation. “Good, but it isn’t going to be just us two. I invited Olivia and Meghan around for dinner.”
“You did?” he sounded understandably confused. “The woman who rejected you the other night is now coming for dinner, why?”
“It doesn’t have to be about dating, does it?” I tried to cover up the events that transpired that night, but they must have come through in my voice anyway because Lark instantly jumped on it.
“Oh, I see,” he said infuriatingly knowingly. “Something has happened between you guys. You’ll have to tell me all about it when we meet up alone.”
“Sure, sure,” I tried my best to brush him off. Sharing sex details about Olivia was not something that I intended to do. “Anyway, get here for five okay? Then you can help me if I have any cooking disasters.”
“Right, see you then.”
Once I hung up the phone, I made a mental checklist of things I needed to do to make this work tonight, and the most important thing I could think of was cleaning. Not just the apartment, but the cooking utensils too. I didn’t want to risk any cross-contamination with anything that Meg could be allergic to. The last thing I wanted was for the night to end up in the hospital.
I needed to get home. I had a lot to do.
***
“Oh crap,” I muttered to Lark when a knock sounded on my door. “They’re here already, and we’re not quite done here yet.”
“Stop stressing, will you? I’ll carry on here, while you go and answer the door.” Lark laughed at me. “God, I’ve never seen you like this. You must really like this girl.”
“Shut up, will you?” I smacked him with the oven mitt. “Don’t burn anything while I’m gone.”
My heart raced as I stepped towards the front door. I actually felt nervous to see Olivia again. It was almost as if I hadn’t seen her just a few hours before at her office. I had real “first date” nerves, which was crazy. The last thing this was would be a first date. Lark was here; Meg was here. We were just a group of friends having dinner, nothing more.
“Wow,” I gasped as the door swung open. “You two look beautiful. What have I done to deserve the company of two gorgeous girls?”
In their matching black dresses, which I could only imagine that Meghan had insisted on, they did look lovely. It made me feel a bit crappy in my gym shorts and tee shirt combo. I spent so long getting everything cleaned that I forgot to focus on myself.
“Is Lark here?” Meghan jumped up and down as she spoke. “Can I see him?”
“He’s in the kitchen, sweetheart, go right ahead.” I stepped to one side and let her through. She ran right past me, leaving Olivia and me alone. “Wow, you really do look lovely,” I insisted, giving her a loving look. “Far too dressed up for my house.”
“Well, Meghan insisted that we needed to dress up, so I just went along with it.”
She rolled her eyes, and I took the chance while her guard was down to grab her by her waist and pull her towards me. Before Olivia could even think, I pressed my lips gently up against hers, and I stole a sweet kiss from her.
“What are you doing?” she whispered, but she didn’t sound as annoyed as the statement sounded. “You can’t do that here.”
“Why not?” I smirked. “No one can see us. It hardly matters.”
I crashed my mouth against hers once more and stole her breath away. God, she felt incredible to kiss. I wanted to kiss her all night long. Maybe having my friend here was a mistake, it meant I had to behave.
“Anyway, it’s the rule,” I murmured against her lips with a smile. “Look upwards.” As she followed where my finger was pointing, she noticed the sprig of fake mistletoe that I forgot all about after Christmas time about two years ago, back when I still had parties. “If there’s mistletoe there, you have to kiss.”
Instead of hitting me, Olivia smiled and shook her head before pushing past me to see what Lark and Meghan were up to. I grinned like an idiot as I watched her walk away with a strut in her step. She had such a sweet ass; I could watch her walk away from me all day long.
I have to make sure we hook up again, I thought determinedly to myself. She is too good to not. Maybe it was confusing, maybe it could only get messy, but Olivia was too awesome for words.
“So next time you go, you’ll bring me a present?” I heard Meghan asking Lark in a cheeky tone of voice. “I like toys.”
“Of course, I will, sweetie. Anything you want.”
I took his place in the kitchen as Lark started to play with Meghan, and Olivia quickly joined me. She took a spoon and stirred without me even needing to ask her for help. For a weird moment, as we cooked side by side, it felt like we were an old married couple. It wasn’t real. I wasn’t allowing myself to get too sucked into the fantasy; it was just nice to think of for a minute.
Chapter Sixteen
Olivia
Thursday
Dinner was wonderful, truly amazing. Much better than I expected actually. Zack really had gone all out to cook something that my baby could eat. So much effort had gone into it, it almost made me well up with emotion. Meghan had just the best time with two grown men fussing over her. Since her dad was never around in her life, she didn’t have any kind of male role model to look up to…but now it looked like she had two.
Not that I wanted for them to get too deep into her life. I couldn’t risk her getting hurt by these people. Sure, they seemed to adore her now, but what about if they got bored? What about when they met girls and went on to start their own families? If Ben could put another family before his own child, there was certainly nothing to suggest that Zack and Lark, who really had nothing to do with Meghan, would stick around.
“You need to be smart,” my dad warned me just as he hugged me goodbye at the airport. “Don’t lose your head again. Think about Meghan. You don’t have a support network here, not like you have back at home.”
I ignored his words at the time; I took it as another “I told you so,” but as I watched Meghan play with Zack and Lark, the words made sense. I had to keep everyone at a distance.
“Come on, Meg, let me switch Zack’s console on, I think there’s a superhero game on there you might like.”
While Lark switched on the game, with no complaint about me even though it was far too close to bedtime, Zack moved to sit next to me. His hand rested discretely on my thigh, and he rubbed his thumb over my leg. I gave him a warning look, but he cocked his eyebrow at me as if to ask what I was going to do about it. Admittedly, I had no intention of moving him because it felt nice to be touched in such a soft and sweet way.
I could’ve happily stayed there all night long.
Eventually, though, I had to move because Meghan’s eyes began t
o droop. I could tell that she didn’t want to fall asleep because she was having a good time playing the game, but she needed to get to bed.
“Come on, Megs,” I told her a little sleepily myself. I guess I was falling into a bit of a sleepy state with Zack touching me. “It’s time for sleep.”
“Nooo,” she whined. “I don’t want to!”
“You can come and play again,” Lark insisted. “Don’t worry about that, sweetheart. Would you like me to carry you on my shoulder to bed?”
“Yay!”
I giggled as Lark flung her over his shoulder. He truly was sweet. Both he and Zack were making it incredibly difficult for me to keep them at arm’s length. I wasn’t sure how to even begin. Now, without me even thinking about it, they had woven themselves into our lives so deeply that they’d be hard to extract.
“Thank you for dinner,” I told Zack softly as Lark went out into the hallway. “That was so kind of you. You went really all out to ensure that Meghan’s food allergies were taken care of. You didn’t have to go that far.”
“Of course, I did!” He smiled brightly, melting my heart painfully. “For that little sweetheart.”
He pulled me close, and for a second, I thought he was about to steal another sneaky kiss, but instead, he simply hugged me. As I pressed my body close to his and I listened to his heart beating rapidly in his chest, I felt closer to him than ever before. There was something somehow more intimate about this than kissing, which obviously confused my brain even more.
Don’t fall for him; I warned myself as I slid my eyes closed and I rested my head against him for a moment. He isn’t falling for me.
“Right, I better go,” I whispered regretfully. “Goodnight.”
“Night.”
As I pulled away, he held my hands for just a second too long, making it even harder for me to go. I had to tear myself away really, and even as I shut my apartment door behind me, I felt like I’d left a part of me behind.
“Thank you for getting her to sleep,” I whispered to Lark. “That was awesome of you.”
