Downfall

by Jay Crownover

  The odd mansion came equipped with a playroom no child could resist, so when the outside lost its appeal, the playroom was where we ended up. This massive, palatial home was obviously worth several million dollars, but it was so very different from the cold, impersonal estate where I had grown up. Every room in this home felt like it was lived in and used by a family. Even though there was expensive artwork on the walls and what looked like priceless antiques scattered about amongst the toys and other typical messiness left behind by a child, there was nothing overly pretentious or showy about the house. It felt warm and comfortable. Even the silent, discreet staff greeted both me and Noble with warm smiles and friendly waves. They asked if we needed anything, making me feel like we were at a five-star resort, not a criminal mastermind’s secret hideaway.

  I was on the floor helping Noble build some kind of LEGO spaceship, assuring her if there were bears in the woods they couldn’t get inside the house, when Solo appeared in the doorway of the playroom. He looked tired and resigned. His mouth was in a flat line that twitched just slightly when Noble caught sight of him and squealed in delight. The LEGOs were immediately forgotten as she rushed toward him, arms extended. He caught her mid-jump when she launched herself at him, lifting her high into the air.

  My daughter sounded like she was going to have a heart attack of joy when Solo started smothering her face with smacking kisses. A deep, rumbling chuckle caught my attention and I felt my jaw unhinge slightly when my gaze landed on the tall man standing behind Solo. I always believed Solomon Sanders was going to be the most intimidating man I ever encountered, but I was wrong. The guy standing behind him had an aura of danger I could practically see. He was a giant. Taller and broader than Solo, but just as heavily tattooed. The fact he had a tattoo on his face and a wicked gleam in his pitch-black eyes didn’t make me feel any better about having the guy so close to my daughter.

  Solo squeezed Noble until she protested and inclined his head in the direction of the other man. “Orley, this is my boss. He helped me take care of our little problem. He’s also offered to give us a ride back to the city, unless you want to stay here for a couple of days. Been awhile since you were in a house as nice as the one you left behind.”

  I leaned back on my hands and looked up at him as he continued to cuddle my daughter. When he explained the entire clandestine plan to me a few days ago, he wasn’t sure how long I was going to have to hide out at this fairytale mansion in the woods, which is why I’d packed a bag. I’d never planned on staying any longer than necessary, even if that view off the back deck was to die for.

  “It’s safe to go home?” Because, even though I never intended for it to happen, the cold, hard city was now the place I wanted to be the most. Well, it was a close second next to Solo’s arms. I appreciated the transparency of the city. The way I always knew exactly what I was dealing with and what kind of fight I was facing. I felt like a stronger, better person calling the city my home.

  Solo nodded and bent to put Noble on her feet. She immediately skirted around him and ran to the other man. My eyes widened in horror when she pointed at his face and demanded to know, “What’s that?”

  The huge man chuckled again and crouched down so he was almost eye level with her. I could see now he was shockingly attractive in a rough and tumble kind of way. When he smiled, it turned his harsh features devastatingly handsome. The men in this town were simply a different breed. I doubted you would be able to find them anywhere else in the world.

  “It’s a star.” His voice was a harsh rasp that would’ve made me shiver in trepidation if Solo hadn’t been standing nearby.

  “Does it wash off? Do you need some soap?” Noble cocked her head to the side and studied the man carefully. It would’ve been absolutely adorable if he didn’t scare the crap out of me.

  “Naw. It’s there for good. I don’t need soap, but I could use a glass of water. Want to show me where the kitchen is?” He shot a knowing look in Solo’s direction as an immediate protest rose to my lips. Every cell in my body protested letting my kid wander off with the scary stranger. But Solo trusted him, and more than that, the man with the face tattoo had helped get Channing off my back somehow, so I owed him. Deep down, I knew there was no way Solo would let Noble wander off with someone who might cause her harm.

  “My chick works with all the different foster kids in the city. She’s always had a very soft spot for the little ones, so I’m around kids all the time. I swear, I won’t break her. I’m just gonna grab a drink; you two figure out who’s staying and who’s going. We’ll be right back.” He stuck a wide, tattooed hand out for my daughter to grab and I gaped at his broad back as she happily flounced away babbling more about the tattoo on his face and her best friend, Solo. Apparently, she was really glad we weren’t yelling at each other anymore. Our fake fight earlier in the day had broken her little heart, which meant mine was cracked open and bleeding freely hearing her tell him that.

  Solo walked fully into the room, taking a seat on the floor across from me. He reached for a handful of LEGOs, absently clicking them together and popping them apart.

  “He really is good with kids. Noble will be fine with him for a few minutes. I wouldn’t have let him take her out of the room if I didn’t trust him with every fiber of my being.” His tone was quiet and almost shy.

  “I know you wouldn’t have. I’m still learning how to be a good judge of character. Channing Vincent is really no longer going to be a problem?” It was hard to believe. I’d been on the run and scared for so long, I wasn’t sure how to function without fear behind every action I took.

  Solo nodded. “The Boss, and another ‘friend,’” he made air quotes around the words which made me laugh slightly, “made sure he’s out of your hair for at least the next ten to fifteen years. He’s going to have to answer for what he did to your mother. He doesn’t have enough money left to pay for even the cheapest lawyer. So, he might even end up with a longer sentence than fifteen years relying on a public defender to try his case.”

  “What do you mean, he doesn’t have any money? He’s one of the richest men in the state.” It was so easy to imagine him buying his way out of any conviction thrown his way. When Solo said they were going to get Channing out of the way, I pictured something much worse than what he was describing. I couldn’t decide if I was happy he wasn’t dead or not. It sort of felt like an anticlimactic ending after everything Channing Vincent had put me through my entire life. At least when I finally got a moment to process things, I could finally grieve for my mother properly, and I would rest easy knowing Channing couldn’t hide behind his money anymore.

  “All his assets have been transferred into Noble’s name. She’s got a trust fund bigger than this house waiting for her when she gets older. She is now a multi-millionaire. Everything they couldn’t put in her name has been frozen by the government as they investigate all of Vincent’s business dealings. He wasn’t exactly a straight shooter. When the boss had people start digging deep into Channing’s comings and goings, it became clear he’s been doing some very dirty deals while no one was looking. He was doing some questionable stuff with investors’ money. There’s a whole lot of people really pissed off at him right now. He might not even make it to sentencing.”

  “All that money.” I shook my head. It was hard to imagine all of it going to Noble. It was almost scary to think what she could accomplish with that kind of power at her disposal as she got older.

  “Well, it’s tricky.” He cleared his throat and shifted his gaze away from mine; the LEGOs in his hands popped apart almost violently. “The money isn’t in a normal trust. You’re going to have to go through a very scary, very bad man to access any of it. It’s kind of his way of making sure Noble is always safe and that the money can never be used against her.” He blew out a breath and shoved his hands through his messy, dark hair. “If you want some of the money to move, to start over, to take Noble someplace better, I can talk to him for you. I can set it up.”
His eyes lifted back up to mine and the frown was stamped back on his face. “I almost didn’t tell you that part. The idea of you leaving the city tears me up inside. That fake fight sucked. It felt like you were really leaving, and parts of me felt like they were going to die watching you drive away. But, I can’t make you stay, and I can’t make that decision for you… even if I want to.” His voice quivered ever so slightly, telling me he really was fighting against his natural instinct to push me in the direction he thought was best. He knew what was best for him in this instance might not be what was best for me and my daughter.

  Without hesitation, I launched myself across the space separating us. He grunted painfully when he landed on his back on the discarded pile of LEGOs. I giggled as he cringed, not bothering to warn him he was going to have to be on the lookout for LEGO booby traps until Noble outgrew them.

  I kissed him hard and long. Then pulled back to look at his shocked expression. Solo really thought I was going to go, even after everything he’d done for me. It was the first time in my whole life I felt wanted and needed in return.

  “I’ve had money and was handed everything I ever wanted, and I was miserable. It wasn’t until you came into our lives that I realized I could be happy, even if I had nothing but you and Noble. You made me realize I could make a life for my daughter without much help. Having you means more than having a fortune. You are worth so much more to me and Noble than any amount of money could ever be. I’m glad it’s there for her, because I want her to have every opportunity possible as she grows up, and I know money can be a shield against a lot of bad things, but I want her to be strong and smart. She’ll get that from you, not from a fistful of cash.” I kissed him again and grabbed both his cheeks between my hands. “I can’t tell you I’ll always want to be exactly where we are now.” I was going to be devastated for a long time every single time I stepped on the bottom stair and Lester wasn’t there to greet me with his sage advice. “When Noble gets older, I have to think about things like being in a good school district and her having access to the best education possible, but I can tell you, I don’t want to ever be too far from you or your mom. She needs you as much as I do.” I understood that without him saying a word. And I loved him. There were things I would have to sacrifice for that love. Where I lived and where I raised my kid might have to be one of those things, so he could get what he needed from me, as well. I was serious about us being together, meaning we were on the same team. “You made me believe I could be strong, Solo. And you protected me.”

  He wrapped his arms around me, dark eyes serious as he gazed up at me. “There is no guarantee if you stay with me things won’t get bumpy down the road. My life isn’t a picnic, and things will never be easy if you choose to stay in the city. I can swear to you that I will always put you and Noble first in everything I do, and that I won’t stop working toward being a better, more reliable man. But I’ll always be a fighter, not a killer. I will always fight for you… for us… for this family you shared with me.” He exhaled and I grinned as he blushed. It was the first time I’d seen him turn pink and it was damned adorable. He was always so sure of himself. Him being the uneasy, nervous one for once was a nice change of pace. “I love you. With my schedule and my obligations, I never thought I would have time to fall in love, but with you, it only took a second.”

  I kissed his chin and brushed my nose along his jawline. “I was your downfall.”

  It was amazing to me. All the dark, dirty, dangerous things that filled his life from the start, and I was the one who finally got him to slow down and breathe. I was the one who stopped him in his tracks. How could I not love him and want to stay with him?

  “Loving two girls was my downfall. I couldn’t be happier about that.” He was right. It very easily could have been a bullet that brought him down. It was much nicer to know love was what eventually brought him to his knees.

  “Mommy! Look what I learned.” I looked up from where I was sprawled across Solo’s chest, cocooned in his strong embrace.

  A moment later, my kid ran into the messy playroom, the large man close behind her. I tried to keep my expression neutral when she dropped to her bottom, sat with her legs crossed, and the man followed suit. It took every ounce of self-control I possessed to not burst into hysterical laughter when Noble started clapping her hands against his in a really awkward, uncoordinated version of patty-cake. Solo didn’t bother to hold back is laughter when the man sang the silly song and clapped right along with my daughter.

  If this scene in front of me wasn’t a perfect example of how weird, wild, and perfectly imperfect my world was now, I didn’t know what would be.

  I had to lose everything in order to learn how to appreciate the things that mattered most. I would never, ever forget how powerful and necessary that lesson was.

  I wrapped my arms around Solo’s neck and demanded between kisses, “Take us home, Hero.”

  I knew, with absolute certainty, regardless of what happened in our future, he would always be the one who not only saved me, but taught me the value in being able to save myself. He was always going to be a hero in my eyes.

  Solo

  “Bye, Daddy.” Noble waved at me over her shoulder as she disappeared inside her classroom. Her teacher gave me a friendly nod, even though I was pretty sure the woman had to fight the urge to call the cops every single day when I dropped off the curly-headed troublemaker. Orley insisted it was all in my head, but I could always feel the eyes watching me whenever I was on the elite private school campus. The other parents and staff always looked at me like they weren’t really sure what I was doing in their midst, but I had thick skin, so the judgment didn’t bother me as long as they treated Noble well.

  I was never going to get used to it.

  No, not Noble calling me daddy. She’d been doing that since I convinced Orley to move in with me a couple of years ago. I started responding before the significance of the shift really hit me. Hearing her say it never failed to make me grin and to cause my heart to swell with inexplicable pride. Being Noble’s daddy, and her mommy’s man, was hands down the thing I was best at, and the one area of my life where I devoted most of my time. I’d learned balance, even if it’d taken more than one knock-down-drag-out fight with Orley to get there.

  Hearing Noble call me daddy was nothing new, but I was still trying to adjust to her being in school half the day, and more than that, going to a private school where she had to wear a little uniform and shiny black shoes. I was used to her in Converse and jeans, running around the garage after me, dirty and greasy, as she asked me one-million questions about each and every car we crawled under. She had to fit me in her busy playdate schedule. It seemed like she was always running between Erica’s to play with Riley and out into the woods to play with the Devil’s daughter. She was already making powerful friends, even if she didn’t know it.

  My kid looked cute in her tiny plaid skirt, white shirt, and plaid bow-tie, but it was so far removed from how I’d dressed for school, she looked almost alien. Noble loved her teacher and the kids in her class, and this school was the best of the best near the new townhouse I bought just outside of the city. I was still close enough to my old stomping grounds to feel like I could keep my street-cred intact, but far enough away I could let Noble play in the front yard without worrying about her catching a stray bullet while she was outside. The townhouse was also closer to my mom, which made visiting her more often, and dashing off in the middle of the night if she had an episode, much easier.

  When Orley told me she was going to talk to the Devil about paying for Noble’s tuition to this fancy ass school, my first instinct was to argue. We lived a pretty modest life. I finally finished school and got certified as a mechanic, just in time for Orley to decide she wanted to go to college so she could get into the nursing field. She’d gotten very close with Melody and the rest of the staff who cared for my mother over the years and decided she wanted to help others the way they helped my mom. After ever
ything he’d done for us, there wasn’t really a way I could justify walking away from the Boss once I had my certification, so I agreed to go work for him in the legal part of his garage. Much to my surprise, he told me working as a regular mechanic would be a waste of my skills and talent, so instead, he set me up in a custom shop where all I did was rebuild and restore classics. It was all above board and clean as a whistle, but I was never going to be a millionaire. I made enough to keep us comfortable, and once Orley was working, we would be more than set, but right now, we were an average family on an average income, so private school shouldn’t be in the cards. I didn’t want Noble feeling like she had to keep up with the other kids in her class, or like she wasn’t good enough because I wasn’t a doctor or a lawyer. Orley and I were very careful to make sure she had everything she needed, but she most definitely wasn’t spoiled.

  It wasn’t until he mentioned he was thinking about sending his daughter to the same school when she was old enough that I changed my mind about enrolling Noble. It wasn’t about what I was comfortable with or what I could give her. It was about making sure she was set up for a bright, successful future. Just like my mother had wanted so much more for me, it was now my turn to want the world for the little girl whom I was going raise as my own. Regardless how uncomfortable the manicured lawns and majestic white building made me, this was where Noble belonged so she had the best options available at her fingertips.