Dismount (Off Balance Book 5)

by Lucia Franco

  Kova shook his head vehemently, though his inconsolable gaze didn't match the tone in his words.

  "Enough. I am not talking about it anymore. It is done and contracts have been signed. The gym is not worth more than you." With a jut of his chin, Kova gestured toward our notebook. "Take that. All the pages are intact."

  My thumb dragged down the silver spirals thinking back to the day we started this. I flipped through and the pages fanned out. I caught the faint sent of Kova in them and I drew in a quiet breath. I held the book close to my chest and my eyes closed. There were so many memories in these pages that I wanted to hold on to forever.

  "Thank you."

  Kova reached into the bag and pulled out something wrapped in black tissue paper with scotch tape all over it like it was a decoration. He flipped it over and there was an envelope attached to it. Taped down, of course. My lips twitched.

  "I do not know how to wrap," he said, self-conscious of his wrapping skills.

  My brows shot up as Kova handed it to me. "You have a gift for me?"

  He gave a blasé shrug. I glanced down and eyed the white envelope. I reached for it, but Kova stopped me.

  He massaged the back of his neck. "There is, ah, a letter I wrote for you. I wrote it the other day. Do not open that now"—he pointed to the black tissue paper—"or read the card. Open it when you are settled…in."

  He couldn't even finish the words. I choked up inside and looked away, letting out a breath.

  "Do you want me to call you after I do?" I asked.

  A shadow passed through his eyes that made my stomach flutter nervously. It was short-lived, but I'd caught it, and I didn't like what I saw.

  "Just read it first."

  I shifted on my feet. "I feel like you don't have anything of mine to hold onto now."

  Kova's green eyes glittered under the bill of his hat. He placed his hand over his heart, right where the A was that I’d carved.

  "I have what I need…for now."

  A blush crept up my cheeks. I averted my gaze, more eager to read his letter.

  I was so touched by his thoughtfulness. "This notebook means a lot to me. I looked forward to your letters. It was one of the few ways you'd tell me what you were thinking. I used to reread them at night. Sometimes I would laugh, like when you said you loved cotton candy. Other times I'd cry a little reminiscing, or just feel bad. I hated that this disappeared. I didn't think I'd see it again. Thank you for getting this back. Do you think Katja shared it with anyone?"

  "She did not show anyone. Trust me on that."

  "Why are you so sure?"

  "Because she was hysterical over what I had written for you when I had not once shared myself like that with her. I did not speak to her the way I spoke to you." He paused. "She was humiliated and swore she did not have it in her to show anyone. I believed her."

  My heart was racing so damn fast.

  Avery was right.

  I wanted to cave right now and say fuck the consequences and do anything I could to be with him, but I couldn't do that.

  "Do we have time? I have one more thing for you. This one you can open."

  I blinked and checked the time over the stove. "Yeah, we have a little more time."

  Kova reached into the bag again, this time retrieving a black velvet square box. He studied it for a moment, his thumb stroking over the top.

  "I wanted to give you this at the Olympics, but the timing did not feel right."

  I flinched. My heart hadn't recovered from that night yet. Kova looked at me like he wanted to say something. Instead, he placed a quick kiss to the top of my head then handed me the box.

  My heart was fluttering wondering what else he gave me. I shot him a half smile then lifted the top to reveal a thin chain with the five Olympic gold rings clasped together. My lips parted in awe and I gasped. "Kova," I whispered. Tears welled in my eyes. The charm was positioned off center so the symbol would rest over my left collarbone. The pad of my finger grazed the shiny metal as I stared at the circles.

  I tilted my head up and sadness clouded his features. I blinked a few times. "It's so beautiful."

  "May I?" he asked. I nodded.

  He stepped closer and bent over, squinting his eyes. "I did not want you to mark up your skin. At least, I hope that you do not. I thought this was a better alternative." He released the necklace from its holder then placed the box on the counter next to us.

  I smiled to myself remembering how I had once told him I hoped to have a tattoo like his one day. That felt like ages ago.

  Kova stepped behind me. I lifted my braid and felt him exhale across the back of my neck. He raised the necklace and laid it over my chest. His fingers shook as he clasped it together.

  Kova arranged the necklace then placed his hands on my shoulders. I peered down. My skin was creamier than usual from lack of sun and it caused the gold to stand out. His fingers splayed down the chain and grazed the delicate symbol that lay near the slant on my neck.

  "Seeing you up there was the best day of my life," he said.

  I swallowed thickly and my stomach clenched. I would forever hold this moment close to me. He had his set of rings, and now I had mine.

  Leaning back against his chest, Kova slid his arms around my hips to embrace me. He pulled me to him and his large body engulfed mine. His arms were my security.

  "Are we really going to do this?" I asked, my voice shaky.

  I scooted closer and turned slightly to the side, resting my head on his bicep that was the perfect height as a pillow. I pressed my face into his arm and inhaled softly. We folded into each other and held on tight. My heart filled with warmth. He smelled like home. Kova leaned down and placed a kiss to my cheek.

  Kova had once said there was no Kova without Ria, but the truth was there was no Ria without Kova.

  Neither one of us had truly been living until we connected with each other. I’d taught him how to find true happiness, and he’d showed me how strong I could be. He’d prepared me for the battle I would soon face, and I was ready.

  "Thank you for the necklace. I like your idea much better."

  "I had it custom made. It is engraved underneath."

  My eyes widened. I leaned forward to look, but he tugged me back. "Look at it later," he whispered. "Stay with me a little longer."

  A soft smile tipped my lips. I nestled into Kova and absorbed his essence when it dawned on me. "What if I hadn't made it to the Olympics?"

  "I had something else picked out for making the National team, but once I knew you were chosen for the Olympic team, I rushed the order."

  "I love it so much," I said, my voice throaty. "I'll never take it off."

  Kova kissed the space under my ear, his nose grazing my cheek. After a few last moments together, his next words twisted my stomach with instant nausea.

  "Let us get your luggage."

  I tensed, tightening my grip on him. My heart started to pound. His raw voice wreaked havoc on my heart. Tears instantly rose to my eyes and I squeezed them shut. I sniffled and anxiety swelled in my throat.

  After a few moments I finally responded, and Kova dropped his arms.

  Inhaling a deep breath, I walked to get my belongings. I'd only lived here for a couple of years, yet these walls held enough memories to last a decade. I wished I could take them with me.

  I turned off the lights and my knees weakened. This was getting more and more real and I was beginning to question if I could actually go through with it or not. I loved him with all my heart.

  Walking back into the living room, I found Kova near the front door. He had my World Cup duffle bag over his shoulder and my large rolling suitcase in one hand. He extended his arm and I faltered in my steps and stopped walking.

  I stood across from him and my breathing labored. My chest was spasming in one breath and constricting in the other. Eyes widening, I felt the onset of a panic attack starting. Kova's eyes narrowed and I tensed, feeling the pressure intensify. My fingers flew to m
y throat and I was instantly scared. I tried to push against it with a slow pull of oxygen and it only backfired. Lips parting, I stared at Kova, trying to swallow and I couldn't.

  Kova dropped my bag and stalked over to me. He grabbed my upper arm and yanked me to him. I gasped and my chest expanded right before he gripped the back of my neck and slammed his lips to mine. His hard kiss was intended to snap sense into me, and he instructed me to breathe as he let go of my arm and wrapped his around the small of my back. His fingers loosened on my neck.

  I listened, steadying myself.

  Kova gave me one more kiss and reached for my hand, tugging me behind him. "I love you. Now let us go."

  I locked up my condo for the last time.

  Timing, man. It loved to fuck with me.

  Fifty-Seven

  Walking down the hallway, Kova pressed a quick kiss to my shoulder.

  I leaned into him and placed my other hand on the fold of his elbow. He kissed the top of my head as we made our way toward the elevator together.

  I had a gut feeling he was scared himself despite trying to seem like he had it under control. Kova kept me glued to his side and kept giving me little kisses.

  Neither one of us spoke while we walked to his car. Once my luggage had been stored away, Kova opened the passenger door for me. I turned to thank him, but he was purposely looking elsewhere. He blinked, noticing me but still didn't look. I pulled back, feeling the pinch in my heart sharpen until I saw that his eyes were glossy.

  I didn't say anything and took my seat.

  The drive to the airport was exceptionally quiet. We didn't waste the time talking. We laced our fingers together over his console and I rested my head on his arm as he drove the forty-five minute distance. He kept his gaze on the road the entire time. I couldn't see his eyes behind his sunglasses, but I noticed the harsh lines around his mouth.

  Time passed too quickly and we were exiting the highway.

  "You can do the drop off so it's easier for you," I suggested.

  "I will park."

  My stomach cramped. I had a feeling he was going to say that. I wanted him to park, but I also didn't.

  It took no time to park and check in my suitcase. Kova took my hand and didn't let go. We walked into the terminal and checked the departing times. Kova looked at his watch then looked over my head. He read the signs, then he took a step and I followed.

  It was funny how emotions worked. Kova and I knew there was no point in trying to make light of our situation with feeble talk. There was nothing either of us could say that would bring even an ounce of comfort. The fact was the end result wouldn't change. I was still leaving.

  I eyed the escalator knowing Kova couldn't go with me past that point.

  The closer we got to it, the warmer my blood heated. My heart viciously attacked my ribs. I watched the moving stairs climb and realized I didn't want to do this.

  I was going to be sick.

  Kova tugged me toward an empty luggage area. He dropped my duffle bag then turned toward me and cupped my face, encasing us under the lip of his hat. My hands automatically slid under his arms to hug him tight.

  My emotions were already elevated and they broke the moment Kova pressed his body to mine. Tears seeped from my eyes as he swept a kiss across my mouth. His lips were damaging, and his fingers wrapped around the sides of my head and gripped me. I drew in air through my nose and fisted his shirt in my hand. He didn't want to say goodbye.

  Kova ripped away, his eyes pierced my heart and his voice held me hostage.

  "Understand something, Adrianna." A soft whimper escaped my lips. "I will come for you."

  I was shattered.

  Completely shattered inside.

  I never thought we would come to this. Nodding, my jaw trembled in his palms. I wanted to make him promise he would come for me.

  Drawing in a breath, my words shook as I cried softly. "I wish things were different and you were coming with me."

  He didn't respond. He couldn't. Tears blurred my vision again. I glanced over my shoulder at the escalator. Once I stepped on, there was no turning back. Knowing I was running out of time, I started to panic.

  I looked back at him. "You said you sold the gym. Come with me," I whispered.

  "No, Malysh."

  My heart sank. Kova’s eyes shifted back and forth over mine. I'd seen him suffer in the past, but nothing compared to how he was now. He was bleeding love and drowning in it…like me.

  "You are going alone."

  "But you said you sold the gym," I said, a cross between a beg and a whimper.

  My eyes filled with fresh tears and his gaze softened. Heat bloomed in my cheeks from the blood pumping through my veins. I was scared to leave him. Scared to leave us. Scared to go on this journey alone. Scared I’d get too sick to live with him.

  "Come with me," I begged. "Please."

  Clenching his eyes shut, a low growl pushed through his chest.

  "I'm scared I'll never see you again," I said, baring my heart. "And if I do, what if you've moved on?"

  Kova slammed his mouth to mine and plunged his tongue between my lips. He let go of my face and hauled me to him. He said I love you without breaking the kiss. His fingers grasped my braid, twisting it as he deepened our love.

  My heart dropped.

  I knew what this was.

  This was a goodbye kiss.

  Kova was kissing me goodbye.

  Unleashing his emotion, Kova kissed me ruthlessly, passionately, all him. There was no shame in his fiery strokes that stormed my mouth. I fell into him, and released a sigh savoring this moment.

  Kova severed the kiss and shoved me away. I stumbled back, stilling in shock. My jaw fell open and I stared at him, unblinking.

  All I could hear was the sound of my heart beating in my ears.

  No.

  "This is not over, Adrianna. It will never be over between us."

  I shook my head vehemently and ran to him. Kova caught me, but he didn't let me speak.

  "This is only goodbye for now," he said.

  A breath hitched in my throat. Kova's lips were on mine again, and I knew in my heart it was the last one.

  He broke the kiss again and took a step back.

  Tears were flowing from my eyes. I couldn't stop crying.

  This was it.

  He was leaving, and so was I.

  "No." I panicked and ground my teeth together. My feet carried me to him. "I'm not ready to leave yet. I just need a little more time."

  Reaching up, Kova brushed a loose lock of hair behind my ear, his knuckles grazing my cheek. He eyed me with empathy. One corner of his mouth quirked up and his eyes glistened with unshed tears. I stepped closer, needing to feel his body pressed to mine one last time.

  "My dearest Malysh," he said with the utmost affection. "I love you, and I will always love you. Do not ever forget that."

  My lungs ached for air. My heart was a burning stone in my gut making my knees weak. Any second, I was going to crumble to the floor.

  Kova held me close and our lips met one final heartbreaking time.

  We pulled apart. Kova threw his hands in the air and spoke something under his breath that I didn't catch. My eyes caught the subtle shake in his fingers. He placed his fist to his mouth, his eyes pleading for me to go.

  My face slowly fell as his response settled over me.

  He wanted me to leave. No—he needed me to leave.

  "Go, Adrianna. Just remember I am coming for you. And once I have you, I will never let you go again. That is a promise I intend to keep."

  I liked his challenge.

  Kova gestured with his head to the area behind me. We were standing across the room from the escalator.

  "Leave, Adrianna."

  Fifty-Eight

  It was on the tip of my tongue to ask him to walk me to the escalator.

  I didn't. After all, I was doing this for me, and that meant I had to walk away on my own.

  Bending down,
I picked up my duffle bag and placed it over my shoulder. I blinked my eyes rapidly trying to stop the tears. His chest rose and fell and his hands were clenched, hanging at his sides.

  My heart, how it ached for him. We were saying goodbye. Did he even realize he was giving me the strength I needed to walk away? He was the push I needed to keep going, the firm voice and bold eyes encouraging me to be better.

  I inhaled a deep breath and turned around. Each step I took, I drew in a quick breath—faster, harder, tighter. I thought about my decision one last time and if this was what I wanted. I looked inside myself, really questioning what I truly wanted.

  It was so easy to convince myself that I was making the right decision by leaving for Oklahoma, but in this moment it was so fucking hard to stay positive. A part of me knew I needed to leave, yet the other part wanted Kova to take me back home and never let me go.

  Swallowing thickly, I gripped the railing and stepped onto the lifting stair. I turned to look over my shoulder to find the man who held every part of me in the palm of his hands.

  There was an emptiness in my heart the moment our eyes connected. A real void that only he could fill. Cold, hollow, damp. Soft tears streamed down my flushed cheeks. I couldn't believe this was really it.

  I didn't care if he saw me crying, or anyone else for that matter. Gymnastics had taught me so much through the years that transformed me into the person I was now.

  I learned self-discipline at a young age, and that money couldn't buy everything.

  As an early teen, I had discovered that I needed an abundance amount of patience to accomplish a dream.

  The deeper I got into the sport, I’d decided how to receive criticism and if I was going to use it in a constructive manner or cause me to crumble.

  My goal had drained me, pulled tears from my eyes, and ripped back layers and layers of my skin to prove a point. But it had never made me second-guess myself. I never questioned if I couldn't handle something. It was where I discovered how strong of a person I really was.

  There was so much more to gymnastics than how many back flips somebody could do.

  I went to Kova for one reason, one goal. I had a dream, and he said I was going to fight for it. He showed me how to thrive and conquer, that giving up wasn't in my vocabulary because you don't just challenge your body with a dream, but you challenge your mind too. He taught me that a little fear was okay, but to always trust in myself. I came to Kova with a dream of going to the Olympics, and he gave it to me. The least I owed him was unveiling my true emotions and not hiding myself from him.