“Damn it, Susan. What were you thinking?” He spoke aloud but in a whisper, glancing up at the monitors over her head again.
Her hand moved a tad and her eyes fluttered open, not focusing at first, and then opening fully, looking Rodney straight in the eye. She opened her mouth to say something but nothing audible came out.
“Are you trying to say something?” Rodney asked, relieved she was waking up.
She nodded her head. “I’m… I’m sorry.”
Rodney wanted to accept her apology. He also wanted to tell her to go to hell. Instead of that, he said, “They’re about to move you to a regular room. And your doctor is an asshole.”
Susan nodded her head. “Thank you, Rodney. Thank you.” Her voice was raspy and it took her a second to say the words.
“You are one lucky woman, Susan. That’s all I’m going to say about that.”
***
Amelia crawled into bed next to Phillip, though she toyed with the idea of just sleeping on the couch. She was pissed at him for being so insensitive to the late hours she put in working at the bar. His jealousy was starting to get the best of him and sometimes, she imagined what her life would be like if she just left him. When she was a kid, she didn’t understand why a woman would stay in such an unhealthy relationship. What was the harm in just walking out the door? Why put up with it?
Here she was, doing exactly that. Just like her mother, staying with a toxic man that only made her cry. Amelia used to roll her eyes when her mother would claim she stayed with him for the times he was good to her. If a man truly loved his woman, wouldn’t he always be good to her? She was turning into her mother, and Amelia hated herself for it.
“Finally getting in bed?” Phillip asked, his hand touching her thigh.
“Yes.”
“You smell delicious.”
His hand moved upward, touching her on the outside of her shorts. She shivered from it but turned away, hoping he’d get the hint that she wasn’t in the mood.
“Not tonight, Phillip. I’m tired.”
His arm wrapped around her waist, turning her to face him again. “Too exhausted from all of those men hitting on you? You have time for them but not for me?”
His hand dipped between her legs again, parting her legs, his index finger probing her on top of her clothes.
“Don’t start, Phillip. I haven’t done a thing with any of them.”
He didn’t respond and pulled her shorts down far enough that his finger flicked her clit. It made her breath catch in her throat and though it felt good, she didn’t want it. Crossing her legs, she shook her head no but Phillip was persistent, getting on top of her. Pinning her to the mattress, he used his strength to keep her down as his hand parted her legs again, ripping her shorts in the process. His finger probed deep inside of her again, so deep that it hurt and Amelia let out a gasp.
“You like that, don’t you?”
“No. Get off. Not tonight!” She squirmed underneath him and he inserted two fingers, pushing in and out so hard that Amelia closed her eyes and whimpered. “Please, Phillip, get off!”
He lifted her arms over her head, squeezing her wrists tight. The bed bucked up and down, the headboard slamming against the wall behind them. He pulled his sweat pants down, still holding her wrists with one hand, stroking his manhood with the other. He was ready to go, his eyes looking into hers, thrusting hard between her legs. It hurt worse than his fingers had and Amelia cried out, giving up the fight to get him off of her.
Spreading her legs, she complied with his demands. It was easier to just allow it and get it over with - the more she fought with him, the more it hurt, and he was much stronger than her so fighting him off would never work in her favor. It took him an eternity to finally finish and he finally rolled off of her, in a comatose state that allowed her to get off the bed and get back to the bathroom.
Looking at herself in the mirror, she studied her naked body. It wasn’t the first time Phillip had forced himself on her. Tears poured down her cheeks and each time he did this to her, she swore it’d be the last. But here she was again, studying her body in the full-length mirror after her boyfriend practically raped her. She needed to leave him. She had to get away. But she never did. She felt trapped with no one there to save her. Who in the hell would believe her if she reported it?
He’s your boyfriend. How could a boyfriend rape a girlfriend? You consented to sex with him before. What was different about this time? She could hear it all in her mind. Phillip would get away with it again, all because of her hesitation.
Turning the shower back on, she climbed in and allowed the hot water to cascade over her. She ached between her legs where he had just violated her. She was glad she had been taking birth control - Phillip had no problem finishing inside of her and she couldn’t imagine a world where she got pregnant by him. Bringing a child into this equation would be terrible and make everything even worse.
“I’ve got to get out of this,” she said out loud as more tears fell. “I can’t let him do this to me anymore. I just can’t.” Her body trembled as she slid down the wall until she was sitting in the bottom of the tub. She’d stay there until the water ran cold. She didn’t want to go back out there and face him. Not yet.
Chapter Three
Rodney paced at the foot of Susan’s bed. They had finally moved her to a regular room and they were waiting on the doctor to make his rounds. It was mid-morning the next day and she was now fully awake, eating on her own, and things seemed to be getting back to normal. Apparently, they had already run the tests that the doctor had mentioned the night before and they were just waiting on the results to get back.
“Honey, sit down.” Susan patted the side of the bed as she sipped on here orange juice.
“No.” He was still feeling the anger he harbored the night before. He wanted to jump on her, to find out why she was doing this, but now wasn’t the time. They already had a spotlight on them by the way the doctor had been acting. He didn’t want to make a scene to go along with it.
Dr. Adams finally came in, that same damn clipboard in his hand. Rodney stood still, waiting to hear what he had to say, and also bracing himself for the snide attitude he had dealt with the night before.
“All tests came back okay. Ms. Keller, I have recommended you for counseling and a substance abuse program. You have shown repetitive behavior of this nature and with a child, it is strongly suggested that you go into recovery for the sake of your family. If you keep doing this, your liver will fail you and you might be so lucky the next time this happens.”
“Yes, Doctor. I didn’t…”
The doctor interrupted her. “Was this…” he paused as he shut the door. “Was this a suicide attempt?”
Rodney had wanted to ask that same question and was a bit relieved that the doctor had taken it upon himself to ask. The room fell silent except for the ticking of the second hand of the clock and Susan looked extremely uncomfortable. Rodney liked to see her squirm - it was the least she could go through after putting him and Justin through all of the hell she had.
“No. No, I didn’t try to kill myself.”
“Ms. Keller, we pumped your stomach. You had a significant amount of pain killers in your system. Why on earth would you swallow so many if your intention was to not take your own life?”
“I just wanted…” She ran her hand down the side of her face and looked at Rodney as if she wanted him to step in and save her. “I wanted to get high. One or two wasn’t doing the trick for me anymore. The next thing I knew, I had taken half the bottle but I didn’t want to die, Dr. Adams. I really didn’t.”
“You know what that means, don’t you, Ms. Keller?”
“What?”
“Your body is used to taking high dosages without feeling anything. That means you are extremely dependent on pills and alcohol. You need to go to a recovery program. For the sake of saving your life, you need to go do it.”
Susan nodded her head and made eye contact
with Rodney. “I will. I promise you, I will.”
Rodney had heard it all before. Her empty promises were getting old. The doctor left the room, informing them that she’d be discharged in a few hours. Susan’s sister Carol had come up to the hospital and it was his chance to finally leave and get some fresh air. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to stay much longer without losing his cool.
“Will you help get Susan home?”
Carol’s eyes widened at his question. “Yeah, sure, I guess.”
“You’re not staying?” Susan asked, sitting up in bed.
“No. No, I’m not. I need some fresh air. I need to get out of this room.” His pacing began again and he felt like a rat in a maze.
“You need to get out of this room? Imagine how I feel, stuck in this bed with all these IV’s.”
Rodney shook his head. His anger boiled out of control. “You did this to yourself, Susan. It’s not like you’re here because of a wreck or something. You’re here because you swallowed pills and drank away half of the liquor cabinet. So excuse me if I’m not feeling sorry for you right now!” He tried not to yell but the words poured out of his mouth without him being able to control it.
“I told you I’m going to get help. I’m gonna go into a program.”
“How many times have you said that before?”
Carol stepped in, waving her hands to get them to stop. “That’s enough! Rodney, you should be supportive of your wife. She has a disease. It’s hereditary.”
“All I’ve done is support her. I’ve believed her when she said she’d get help. And here we are again. Justin is wondering if his mother is okay. He has no clue what you’re doing to yourself. How’s he gonna handle it when he finds out this happens because of what you’re doing? Huh?”
Neither woman said anything. They both stared at him, their eyes wide, and again, the room fell silent. Rodney took a few steps toward the door, reaching for the handle. Now was his time to leave. If he said anything else, he’d likely get kicked out.
“Where are you going?” Susan asked, her voice shaking.
“Out. Carol will make sure you get home. I’ll get Justin.”
He pushed out into the hallway, taking a deep breath before he made his way toward the elevators. He had no idea where he was going. He just knew he had to get as far away from the hospital and Susan as possible. He’d deal with the backlash later.
***
Amelia went to the bar early the next day. Her shift didn’t start for a few hours but she couldn’t stand to be at home with Phillip. She had slept on the couch and was able to dodge him that morning. Her boss had no objections to her being there - the bar was busy and she’d work as a bar-back until it was time for her to tend bar later. She didn’t care what job he had her do, as long as she wasn’t at home with Phillip.
“So, why are you here early? Are you really that bored at home?”
“Yep, Devon, my life is that pitiful. And you’re the best boss ever for letting me be here.”
“The more help the better. Besides, you’re one of my best workers. Can’t deny you more hours if you need them.”
She gathered up some empty beer bottles at a nearby table and threw them in a bin. Moving from table to table, she stopped in her tracks when she saw him sitting in a booth toward the back. He wore a dark baseball cap, the bill low enough that she almost couldn’t see his face. He sat alone, drinking on a Budweiser and staring out of the window into the street. His rugged good looks were captivating and she had never seen him before. He wasn’t a usual regular and he was mysterious.
Padding toward his table, she pointed at the bottle he was drinking. “Need another?”
Looking up, she noted his striking green eyes against his tanned complexion. His thick dark eyebrows arched at her question and he nodded. “Yeah, I could use another.”
She hurried to the bar and grabbed another Budweiser and took it to him, sliding it on the table. “My name is Amelia if you need anything. I’m just busing tables right now but don’t hesitate to holler.”
“Sounds good, thank you.”
Amelia felt disappointed when he didn’t offer his name back. She usually wasn’t so chatty with the patrons but something about him pulled her in. “I haven’t seen you around here before. What’s your name?”
“Rodney.”
“Good to have you here, Rodney. I’ll leave you alone now.”
He smiled, revealing perfect white teeth. His attractiveness was very appealing and Amelia had to force herself to move on and keep working. For a second, she had forgotten about her disaster at home with Phillip. And she couldn’t help but keep an eye on him in the far corner. He didn’t interact with anyone, slowly nursing the second beer she had taken him. Why did she want to know his story? What was it about him that pulled her in and made her curiosity run wild?
A little time had passed and it was Amelia’s time to work at the bar. She found herself watching Rodney from the corner of her eye, keeping her main focus on her customers sitting in front of her, but also seeing what the new stranger was up to. The waitress had requested another beer for him and Amelia felt envious that it wasn’t her who was serving him.
The bar slowed down a little bit and she looked up, her heart sinking when she saw that he was gone, his booth now vacant with the last beer bottle he finished. Amelia assumed she’d probably never see him again - it was disappointing and she scoffed at the thought of it. She wasn’t single so why did it matter? She was stuck with Phillip in a toxic relationship she’d love to get out of. And she could - all it’d take was her ending it and getting away from him.
Somehow, she knew it wouldn’t be that easy.
***
Rodney wasn’t quite ready to go home yet but he ran out of places to go. He would’ve loved to stay at the bar and drink more but it’d be hypocritical of him to do that. He couldn’t get on to Susan one second and then go out and do the complete opposite of what he was complaining about. He felt a slight buzz from the beer and told himself to be careful - the last thing he needed was getting stopped while Susan was in her situation.
Before pulling out into the street, he clutched the steering wheel of his truck and looked through the entrance of the bar. He got a quick glimpse of the cute, blond bartender who had been kind to him. Her smile was beautiful and she relaxed him, or maybe it was the alcohol helping with that. Putting the truck in gear, he took a deep breath and merged out into the street. He needed to get home - Justin was probably wondering where he was and Susan’s sister was probably ready to get home.
The drive to the house was short and when he pulled into his driveway, he was thankful he didn’t see any cops along the way. He wasn’t drunk by any means but after three beers, drinking them back to back, he really didn’t have any business getting behind the wheel. Susan’s sister was still there and the front living room light was on. Rodney had no intention of staying at the bar as long as he had. His initial plan was to grab one beer and head home, but it was going down too smoothly, and the taste was amazing.
Exiting his truck, he walked up the steps and through the front door. Susan was lying on the couch in the same spot where he had found her passed out the night before. She glared at him and wiped her nose with a tissue. Carol was in the kitchen cooking something, and the smell made his stomach growl.
“Where you been?” Susan asked, finally breaking the silence.
“I went for a couple of beers.”
Scoffing, she rolled her eyes and tossed the tissue onto the coffee table. “You can go drink and I can’t?”
“I don’t have a drinking problem like you do.”
“Says the man who has a DWI on his record.”
Rodney sat in the recliner adjacent to the couch and reached for the remote, turning the TV down. “That was ten years ago. I’m not the one who…” He cut himself off. Now wasn’t the time to argue. Carol was there and Justin was likely in the other room, listening to every word they were saying.
�
�You’re not the one who what?” Susan asked, pushing herself into a sitting position. “I didn’t realize we were in a competition. I mean it when I say I’m getting clean this time. I really am, Rodney.”
Rodney wanted to believe her. He wanted to see her clean and sober, and back on track. He had been burned too many times but had stayed with her because she was the mother of his child and the woman he had fallen in love with. Now, looking at her on the couch, her hair a mess, her face swollen from the booze and pills, he wasn’t sure if she was the same Susan he had met years ago.
“Where’s Justin?”
“Nice subject change. You’re the master at that. He’s in his room.”
“Tell him to wash his hands. Supper is ready.” Carol called from the kitchen.
Padding down the hallway, Rodney slipped into Justin’s room, sitting beside him on the floor. He had his Lego’s spread all over the place and was putting random pieces together.
“Hey, buddy. You ready to eat?”
Justin nodded but didn’t look up. “What are we having?”
“I’m not sure. Aunt Carol was nice enough to make it for us.”
“Because mommy is sick.” It didn’t come out as a question. Justin was very much in tune with what was going on around him.
“Yes, because she is sick and not feeling well.”
Justin finally looked up, sadness behind his eyes. “She’s never going to feel good, is she? She always feels bad.”
Rodney leaned against the wall and chose his words wisely. What does someone say to a child his age in a time like this? Lying wouldn’t be a good thing but he wouldn’t understand complete honesty.
“How about you go wash your hands for supper?” Rodney’s mind was blank. At least he had an easy way to divert the child’s attention for now. There would be a time when he wouldn’t be able to, and he’d have to come up with a way to talk to his kid. Honesty was the best but he had to figure out how to put it into a perspective that a child would understand.
Never Let You Go: Save Me Series Book 2 Page 2
