The Hollywood Mission

by Deborah Abela

  Linden and Eleanor collapsed into each other as clutches of laughter shook their bodies. Max stared at them and wondered if she’d been zapped into another dimension, one where nothing made sense. Linden fell off his chair and didn’t even seem to notice.

  Max thought she’d give them time to control themselves. ‘I’ll get some things to eat while we discuss our gameplan.’

  ‘Max!’ Eleanor called out, but she was too late. A resounding clunk rang out as Max bumped into the Shush Zone.

  ‘Ouch!’

  ‘Sorry.’ Eleanor deactivated the device as she tried to stifle a few stray giggles. Max glared at them as she rubbed her head, wondering what it would take to be on a mission with serious agents, and for her not to be so clumsy.

  ‘Max. Hold on!’

  The squalling wind acted on the lake like a blender, tearing into the air in a frenzy, ripping through trees and biting into Max’s face in a searing sting.

  Max and her dad were on assignment in Finland, a country Max loved, with its lakes as big as oceans and calm, tree-lined landscapes. The day had been perfect, washed over with blue skies and the gentle whirr of nature, until Dr Ruma Hakinnan detected their presence and activated his weather machine. He planned to use the machine to demand vast sums of money. If he was refused, the world would face imminent meteorological disaster.

  Hakinnan sent a savage storm exploding across the lake. Max lost her balance and was hurtled over the side of the boat. Her dad flung his hand out and caught her just in time.

  ‘Hold on,’ Max’s father called out again, but she was losing her grip. The rain and churning lake lashed her face and she swallowed huge gulps of water that filled her lungs. The force of the wind and the thrashing of the waves made it hard for her dad to pull her into the boat. A huge wave swelled behind them.

  ‘Look out!’ Max watched in horror as the boat tipped and threw her dad into the swirling waters.

  ‘Dad!’ Max grabbed onto the boat’s edge as she tried to see her father. His red life jacket was no more useful than a raincoat as the waves heaved over him. What was she going to do? Her father was being dragged away from the boat. If she let go they’d both be lost. She had to think of a plan to save him. To stop him being dragged under

  ‘Aaaahh!’ Max sat up in bed as water wormed down her face. She gasped for air and threw her arms around as if she was drowning, desperate not to die.

  That is, until she saw Toby standing over her with a glass of water.

  ‘I never knew you were such great value.’ Toby continued laughing.

  ‘I told him not to do it but he wouldn’t listen,’ Linden said in his own defence.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ She turned into her pillow, hoping they’d go away.

  ‘Max, when are you going to realise I just can’t live without you?’ Toby’s sarcasm was about as welcome as a bucket of spiders. ‘Plus we were supposed to meet your dad in the hall five minutes ago for today’s shoot.’

  Her head spun round to the clock. It was 6.35. She’d slept through her alarm. Why was it that on every other boring day of her life the slightest sound woke her, and when she had something important to do she slept in?

  ‘You better take your PFD and put your Danger Meter on. We may need it,’ Linden advised.

  ‘PFD?’ Toby remembered reading about them in Max’s diary. ‘Are they really flying backpacks?’ His eyebrows shot up his forehead at the thought of having a go, but Max was too busy getting dressed, attaching her Danger Meter and worrying about how upset her dad would be. She patted down her hair, grabbed her pack and they all ran downstairs.

  ‘Max, I have a film to shoot so when I ask you to turn up on time, I mean it.’

  Max felt the sting of her father’s words against her face as if she’d fallen headfirst into a beehive. He’d never spoken to her so abruptly before plus he’d broken his own rule that no matter how annoyed he was, he never told her off in front of other people.

  As her dad walked to the car, Toby watched Linden offer Max a warm smile. Her face transformed from completely miserable to almost happy. Linden could do that with Max, Toby noticed, as if he knew a secret route straight into her thoughts.

  They were silent the whole way to the studio as Max’s dad read through his notes.

  ‘This is Mimi.’ Max’s dad introduced them to a young woman wearing a headset and carrying a pile of papers. ‘She’s looking after the extras today.’ And with that he moved into a swarm of people buzzing with questions and holding out more notes.

  They followed Mimi through the chaos and noise of cast, crew, technicians, props, clothes stands and backdrops. Max turned to catch a final glimpse of her dad but he’d disappeared amongst it all.

  ‘I like what you’ve done with your hair, Linden.’ Mimi kept up a firm pace.

  Linden had no idea what she was talking about. ‘Sorry?’

  ‘It’s the earthquake scene today and that hair of yours sure is playing the part.’

  Linden smiled proudly. ‘Yeah. It’s a natural.’

  Mimi led them to the wardrobe department, where they took off their packs and were fitted out with old clothes that looked as if they’d been dragged through a swamp.

  ‘You’re going to play three street kids caught up in an earthquake. No one cares about you and you are very much left on your own when the quake hits.’

  The way she felt, Max wouldn’t have to do much acting as she plunged her hands into her baggy, patch-ridden overalls.

  ‘Shall I take your packs?’ Mimi asked.

  ‘No!’ Max said, a little too forcefully. ‘I mean, no, we’ll keep them with us.’

  Linden and Toby stood side by side in their short pants, braces and torn shirts.

  ‘You’re going to be fighting off the girls in that,’ Linden smirked.

  ‘I don’t need clothes to impress girls. It’s all about what’s inside.’ Toby grinned.

  ‘What? Hot air?’ Max asked.

  ‘No. Charm. Something you might learn about if you watch closely.’

  Mimi then led them to their next destination, a place that made Linden’s broad smile wash across his lips.

  ‘I’m in heaven.’ His mouth sagged opened as his eyes swam through a pleasure zone of pastries, bagels, rolls, boxes of cereal, yoghurt, fruit and steaming trays of eggs, sausages and bacon.

  ‘Have something to eat. Filming starts in an hour. I’ll come for you then.’

  Toby and Linden began piling food onto their plates and found themselves a seat at a long table full of other breakfast eaters. Max sat with them, picking at a bowl of muesli as she watched her dad bark orders and yell demands.

  ‘If I’d known you were fed so well on film shoots, I’d have taken up acting years ago,’ Linden mumbled through a mouthful of scrambled eggs.

  ‘Max, you and I definitely have to do this more often.’ Toby crunched into his second hash brown smothered in tomato sauce.

  Max heard none of it as she watched her dad throw a clipboard across the room and storm off with Raychik following closely after him. Something wasn’t right about her dad, she could feel it, but she didn’t know what. She stood up to take her plate across to the wash area, when she heard something familiar.

  ‘Pssst.’

  She looked around her and saw the usual clutter and bustle of crew.

  ‘Pssst.’

  ‘Agent 31?’ She adjusted her backpack and tried to work out where the secret agent was concealed. There were trays of muffins, boxes of bread and huge bowls of fruit.

  ‘Pssst.’

  Max frowned. ‘Even 31 couldn’t get into there.’ She walked over to the bench nearby and looked down into a giant toaster.

  ‘Hi, Max. Great to see you again.’

  ‘Agent 31? But how …?’

  ‘Good, huh? I can tell you’re impressed. It was tricky getting in but after a few twists and turns, I did it. Watch out, here comes some wholemeal.’

  Max stood aside as a guy with a piece of wholemeal br
ead stuck it into the toaster. She smiled as they both waited for the bread to cook. After a few awkward moments, he took his toast and walked away. Max again leant into the toaster.

  ‘What information do you have for us?’

  ‘It’s even more involved than we thought and Harrison has dispatched a few agents into strategic positions to find out what’s going on. We have firm proof that Fartie was kidnapped because of his work with encoding and believe he is being forced to program hidden secrets into films bound for worldwide distribution.’

  ‘Who do you think is behind it?’

  ‘We’re still working on that, but it seems Raychik is somehow involved, and a silent producer we’re currently trying to identify.’

  ‘Max, are you going to use the toaster all day or —’ Linden held out two crumpets and smiled. ‘Agent 31! This has got to be your best yet.’

  ‘It’s up there, but I still don’t think it’s as good as the wallet I snuck into on the French Ambassador back in ’92.’

  ‘You hid in someone’s wallet?’

  ‘Not just anyone’s. The Ambassador’s.’

  Linden and 31 had this way of completely forgetting they were on a mission.

  ‘Are we done reminiscing?’ Max asked.

  ‘Sure.’ Linden tried to look serious. ‘What have I missed?’

  Agent 31 filled him in before adding, ‘We’d like you and Max to gain access to the edit room and check out the editing process.’

  ‘Does that mean we have to talk to wheeze-man?’ Max complained.

  ‘Raychik,’ Linden explained to 31’s puzzled stare.

  ‘I’m afraid it does, but we’ll have agents in position so that if anything funny happens, they’ll spring into action immediately.’

  Max felt better. This place was really starting to make her nervous.

  ‘In your pockets you’ll find miniature digital cameras especially designed by Quimby. Shockproof, waterproof and detection proof.’

  ‘Yeah, but are they Max-proof?’ Linden smiled before his face collapsed into a pained expression. ‘Tell me I didn’t say that out loud.’

  ‘You’ll keep,’ Max replied. ‘Go on, 31.’

  ‘Once you’re in the edit suite and have distracted Raychik, place the cameras in positions that will give us a good view of what he does. Ben and Eleanor will be positioned in the back of a surveillance truck in the alley behind Studio 23 monitoring everything. Contact them as soon as the cameras are in place.’

  ‘Anything else?’ Max examined her thumbnail-sized camera.

  ‘Yeah,’ Agent 31 said with an extra level of seriousness in his voice. ‘Try the boysenberry jam. You won’t regret it.’

  ‘Thanks, 31.’ Linden headed off towards the jams, as if their meeting was really about food and not saving the world.

  Max’s head was full of ways to get into the edit suite as she made her way back to the table to find Mimi ready to usher them into their positions.

  ‘You can leave your bags here while we shoot. They’ll be safe, I promise,’ she said to Max’s wary gaze.

  Suddenly extras came from everywhere and were being given directions as Max’s dad spoke to the lead actor and actress. Max was determined not to muck anything up as she, Linden and Toby prepared to act.

  Panic and chaos filled the studio as the floor below them rocked into life.

  ‘Earthquake!’

  Cameras swung on cranes above their heads, while others were pushed alongside them on tracks. Lights flared from every angle and crew members stood behind her father taking notes, holding boom mikes and standing ready with make-up cases.

  Toby and Linden seemed to be enjoying every moment of the fake quake, falling and stumbling through broken glass and crumbling debris and bodies.

  ‘Hey, watch out!’ The chaos swallowed Max like a freak wave, knocking her to the ground. After what felt like hours and some pretty hefty shoving and stampeding, her dad called ‘Cut!’ The chaos stopped and Max looked up from the floor as a giant centipede of legs walked back to where they came from.

  She wiped a sprawl of dust from her face. ‘At least that part’s over.’

  ‘Standby for another take,’ a loudspeaker voice called.

  ‘Another one?’ Max groaned. ‘I only just made it through the first one.’

  ‘First positions, everyone.’

  A hand appeared in front of Max’s face. ‘I didn’t know this Hollywood business was so much fun.’ Max looked up expecting to see Linden but saw Toby instead. Toby only ever offered Max anything in preparation for doing something mean. ‘You were great. Really convincing.’ He was watching her? And giving her compliments? Maybe she’d hit her head harder than she thought when she fell.

  ‘We’d better get ready. They’re about to start.’ Max got to her feet without his help.

  ‘Oh, yeah.’

  They made their way back to their first positions, and after a few people threaded through the actors checking their hair, make-up and wardrobe, the scene began again.

  ‘Action!’

  Max went into earthquake mode and did exactly as she was instructed, but then she caught sight of Toby and realised she was experiencing a weird feeling she’d never felt before. What was it? It wasn’t quite like she was going to be sick, but it was similar. Why now? Maybe it was to do with her dad. Or maybe … and at this point she really felt sick … maybe it had something to do with what Linden told her when he came to her school. Maybe Toby did like her. A disoriented policeman trampled her as she tried to take this thought in. How could he like her when he’d made her life a misery from the first day they’d met?

  ‘Cut! That’s it for the extras for now. Meet back here in half an hour.’

  Max looked up from the muddied kerb she’d fallen into and spied Linden. She jumped up and raced over to him.

  ‘Let’s get out of here before Toby sees us.’

  ‘Sorry?’

  ‘I mean, so we can get to the edit room.’

  ‘Oh, yeah. Good idea.’

  After grabbing their packs, Max and Linden made their way out of the studio and along the snaking corridors to the edit room.

  ‘Here goes,’ she said as she stood in front of the door and knocked.

  They heard nothing.

  ‘Do we just go in?’

  ‘I guess.’ Max turned the handle and entered the dimly lit room to see Raychik huddled over the edit suite. Her body tensed as she remembered seeing him after her fall at the snow and realised she could be looking at a man who was out to get her.

  Linden stepped forward. ‘Raychik?’

  The editor spun round on his chair and eyed the two kids warily. ‘What do you want?’ he mumbled irritably, turning back to his controls.

  ‘We’re interested in the editing process and were wondering if we could watch what you do?’ Linden asked, hoping Raychik wouldn’t throw them out.

  Raychik grunted as he continued his work. ‘Whatever.’

  Linden found a seat beside him. Max stealthily took out her camera and stuck it in the foliage of a sagging pot plant before sitting down and winking at Linden.

  Raychik worked as if they weren’t there. Linden had to somehow put his camera in front of the editor to get a different angle from Max’s. He looked at her, signalling for her to create a distraction. Max took the cue and threw her arms back into a big stretch, knocking a pile of film canisters to the floor.

  Raychik groaned.

  ‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to …’

  Linden took his chance to position his camera as Max and Raychik picked up the canisters and placed them back on the bench. But as Raychik turned back, he saw Linden sit down quickly. The editor paused. Seconds ground past like train wheels skidding on a metal track, eating into Max’s and Linden’s nerves.

  Then he went back to work.

  They were in the clear. Or so they thought.

  ‘I know what you’re thinking.’

  The sound of those few words made them stop breathing.
r />   ‘But watch out,’ Raychik cautioned threateningly. ‘The film business can be a dangerous game.’

  Max and Linden looked at each other, not knowing what to do.

  ‘Now you’d better get out of here before you’re wanted on the set.’

  They didn’t need to be told again, but as Max and Linden hurried out of the edit room and down the corridor, Max felt her Danger Meter vibrate. Behind them, two men in suits moved quietly out of the shadows. They stopped and stared at the two disappearing spies before turning and entering the room.

  Later that day, Ben and Eleanor called Max on her palm computer. Once the cameras were in place, it hadn’t taken long for them to make an important discovery. Soon Max and Linden were on their way to the truck behind Studio 23 to find out what it was.

  As they walked along the busy studio streets, dodging mini trains of can-can dancers, workmen pushing giant brooms and a tour of overweight businessmen, Linden guessed the reason for Max’s mood. ‘It must be really stressful making a film. I bet that’s what’s up with your dad.’

  ‘Yeah, but I’ve never seen him like this before,’ Max said miserably. ‘It doesn’t feel like him.’

  ‘You haven’t seen him for a long time.’

  ‘I know, but he wasn’t like this at the snow.’

  ‘Maybe when he’s working it gets a bit much sometimes.’

  ‘I know my dad, alright?’ Max wasn’t sure what was making her more angry, what Linden was saying or that her dad really had changed since she’d last seen him. She felt bad about snapping at Linden. She’d never let anyone say anything against her dad, but something more was upsetting her.

  ‘It just feels sometimes that neither of my parents wants me. Or has time for me.’

  Linden started to say that wasn’t true but Max cut in, ‘And Toby thinks I’m ugly.’

  Linden frowned. ‘How do you know Toby thinks you’re ugly?’

  ‘He said so before, in my room. You were there. You heard him.’

  Linden struggled to remember. Max let out a sigh. ‘He said when I was born they couldn’t tell whether I was a boy or a girl.’

  Linden scrabbled through his brain for the part in that sentence where Toby said she was ugly. He decided to avoid what he didn’t understand and go with what he knew. His mother always said it was best that way.