Live In Position

by Sadie Grubor

  I quickly bundled us up in coats and boots. Pulling her out into their back yard by her hand, I took her out to the center of the yard, which now looked like a winter wonderland. I leaned down and made a small snowball. I threw and hit her in the arm. Her shocked expression made me erupt into laughter.

  "Hey," She yelled with a small smile. "What was that for?"

  "Hmmm…just because I felt like it." I stuck my tongue out and made another snowball. She took off running.

  "No, don't hit me again!" She laughed.

  "You can run, but you can't hide." I shouted as I chased after her with the frozen lump in my hand.

  She dodged behind a thick oak tree and I quickly rounded it to get her, but she surprised me by having her own frozen mush ball ready. She hit me right in the side of my face. I heard her gasp from hitting me in the face. I laughed loudly and smushed my snowball onto the top of her head.

  "Ahh…that's cold!" She screeched and I laughed as she took off running and giggling.

  We finished our snow fight and decided to make a snowman before we went back inside. Victoria had wanted to stay out longer, but her chattering teeth and the homework that was still waiting for her made the decision for us. We went back inside and I made warm tea and set out some crackers for her while she did her homework.

  More weeks passed by and soon it was the week of Thanksgiving. Larissa was coming to pick up Victoria for the holiday. I had Thanksgiving and the day after for the holiday, so I decided I would go see my dad. Once Larissa had picked up Victoria, I would begin my journey to Tacoma.

  The trip to Tacoma was longer than normal because of all of the traffic crowding the roads, but I still made decent time. When I pulled up to the house there was an unfamiliar car in the driveway. Grabbing my bag out of the cab of my truck, I headed to the front door and went in.

  "Happy Thanksgiving," I shouted out.

  "Sophia!" My father came around from the living room quickly. He pulled me into a large hug. It was a bit strange, because my dad wasn't the emotional type of guy.

  "I'm so glad you could make it." He smiled widely as he let me go.

  "I'm happy I got to come home too." I kissed his cheek. "I just want to throw my bag into my old room, okay?" I started for the stairs.

  "Um…Sophia?" I turned and saw Carla was now standing next to my father. He was holding her hand.

  "Yeah?" I stopped before I took the first step up.

  "Umm…just throw your stuff up there and then we'll talk." He waved me off with a small nervous smile. My eyes flashed to Carla's face and she seemed a little upset. I quickly threw my bag on my old bed and went back downstairs.

  "So..?" I stood behind the couch leaning on the back of it. My father looked up at me, still nervous. "What you want to talk about?" I smirked.

  "Sophia, I, uh…" He rubbed his face and then just spit it out. "Carla is living with me now. I asked her a couple of months back and she just moved in a few weeks ago. I was going to tell –"

  "That's great dad," I smiled and walked over to wrap him up in a hug. "I'm happy for you."

  "Really?"

  "Absolutely!"

  Carla entered the room with a tray of snacks and drinks. Once she set the tray down I walked over and hugged her. Pulling back I asked her

  "So, think you can get him to marry you too?" I winked at her and she blushed.

  "Rick, I told you she wouldn't be mad at you."

  The day went really great. We ended up with a houseful of guests. Carla's nieces and nephews; sister and brother-in-law; as well as an older woman everyone thought of as a grandmother all gathered at my father's house for dinner. It was a great time listening to stories of my father when he was a young man in Tacoma. It had been a long time since my father's house had felt so full and warm.

  For a quick moment my mind wandered to my mother and my last Thanksgiving with her. It had only been the three of us and we had eaten around her bed in the living room. She didn't eat much, but she smiled most of that day.

  "Soph?" My father's voice pulled me from my memories.

  "Yeah, I gave him a small smile.

  He wrapped one arm around my shoulders. "I miss her too." I let one tear escape at his whispered words.

  "Am I that obvious?" While wiping away the lone tear, he squeezed me tighter.

  "I just know how to read that face."

  I placed a quick kiss on his cheek.

  It was ridiculously early the next morning when my cell phone pulled me from my much needed rest. Thanksgiving had gone on into the late hours of the night and I dreamt of my mother.

  "Hello?" I croaked.

  "Sophia its Ella, I'm so sorry to call you, but Larissa went into labor this morning and we are all at the hospital. Mrs. Bedford asked me to call you and to see if you could come back earlier today." I groaned. "I'm so sorry Sophia."

  "No, no, it's fine. I'll leave soon. Give me about two hours, okay? I'll call you if I run even later behind."

  "Okay." Amber hung up and I took my zombie like ass to the shower.

  After saying quick goodbyes to Carla and my dad, I jumped into my truck and headed back to Seattle. Once I was in the city limits I called Amber to find out exactly where I should go. She gave me the directions, where to park and what floor to come to.

  Victoria came skipping down the hallway and jumped into my arms.

  "Sophia!"

  "Hey you!" I squeezed her. "I hear you are getting another cousin." I smiled at her as she nodded excitedly. I felt a tug on my jeans and looked down into the sweet round face of Ryan. Ryan had Larissa's blonde hair, but had Max's round face and hazel eyes. "Hey there little man." I ruffled his curly blonde locks.

  "Up too," He held out his arms out to me.

  I laughed, moved Victoria to my left hip and scooped Ryan up onto my right hip. Both of them yawned at the same time.

  "Hey Sophia, you got your hands full." Amber appeared out of a room with a large smile.

  "Just a little." I smiled. "So, I'm gonna take Victoria back to the house so she can take a nap, you want me to take Ryan?"

  "Oh, you don't have to do that. I'm going to take him home right after the baby gets here. Larissa and Max want him here," she ran her hand through his hair, "Though it seems his nap has already started." She giggled and I tilted my head to see Ryan fast asleep.

  I bit my lip so I didn't laugh and wake him.

  "Here, I'll take him." As Amber stepped forward I felt the all too familiar tension fill the hallway and I could feel the gaze he seemed to always hold on me. Amber took Ryan into her arms, holding him against her chest. He never woke.

  "Okay, well keep me posted and if you need anything give me a call okay?" She nodded and smiled, not wanting to wake Ryan. I turned and saw Dr. Bishop standing at the nurse's station in his scrubs and white coat. His eyes felt like they were going to burn a whole through my body. I shook off the weird warming feeling spreading through my body.

  "I'm just going to take her back to the house." He nodded without a word and I quickly walked down the hall.

  Once I rounded the corner toward the elevators, I could hear Victoria's breathing even out. Taking a quick look, she was asleep. I buckled her into my truck and headed to the house. Wouldn't he freak out if he knew she was in my old truck?

  I got Victoria home and into bed. She napped for about three hours and woke up very hungry. I made some sandwiches. As we finished eating I got a text from Amber telling me that Maxwell John Bishop had been born. After eating I told her to get bundled up because we were going Christmas shopping.

  Walking through downtown Seattle can be chaos, but throw in the holiday crowd and the fact it was the day after Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and you have sheer madness. I'm not sure what I had been thinking.

  There were Salvation Army Santa's on the corners ringing bells, shop windows in full decoration for the holiday, and streets were strung with garlands and wreaths. One look down to Victoria's face and the awestruck look she had as we walked
the streets. It was all I needed to see to know what I had been thinking by doing this.

  We visited a couple of shops and I bought a few things for my father, Carla, and Miranda. There was no way I was going to purchase Victoria's gift with her here, besides what do you get the little girl who has everything?

  After the holiday things got back to a regular schedule; however, her afternoon lessons had changed. Her horseback riding with Claire was over until next March and since Roberto went back to Spain to visit family until the New Year she didn't have Spanish either.

  Given the free time we had and the proximity of Christmas I decided we needed to make Christmas cookies. I had purchased all the ingredients the week before and bought some Christmas shaped cookie cutters; Christmas tree, stocking, ornament, Santa, and candy cane shapes. So when Friday after school had finally come, I pulled everything out and called Victoria down from her room.

  She bounced into the kitchen looking around the typically unused kitchen table where I had everything laid out. "What's all of this?" She smiled and hurried to my side.

  "We are making cookies." I placed a large bowl and measuring cups in front of her.

  "I get to help?" She peeked into the empty bowl.

  "Well, I can't do it all by myself." I playfully rolled my eyes at her.

  I set up the cookbook and she read the instructions to me. Then I had her measure out the amounts needed for each ingredient. When she got to dump them into the bowl we would make different 'dumping' noises and giggle.

  First, we made oatmeal raisin. Second were chocolate chip. Third, we made peanut butter blossoms. Finally, we made the roll out sugar cookies we could decorate. Mrs. Baker had entered the room during our cut out cookies and sat at the table with us. She became our official cookie dough roller, while Victoria was the official cookie cutter and decorator, and I placed them on the cookie sheets and kept an eye on them while they baked.

  Everyone was looking pretty floury. I had pulled Victoria's hair up into a ponytail, Mrs. Baker always wore her hair in a tight bun, and I had pulled my hair back into a low knot at the back of my head. All of us had flour or sugar swiped on our faces, cookie dough under our fingernails, and was laughing at each other's appearance.

  In the midst of our happy moment the snow miser decided to make an appearance. He stepped into the room and our giggles died down to whispered snorts. I watched him take in the large mess on and around the table.

  "What's this?" He asked in his chilled tone.

  "We're making Christmas cookies!" Victoria said cheerfully as she stuck her tongue out and pressed the tree cutter into the dough Mrs. Baker had rolled out to the perfect thickness.

  "Oh, Collin, my boy, you should see her. She's quite the little cookie cutter professional." Mrs. Baker chuckled out as she watched Victoria.

  "Yes" He said coolly and walked around the table. Standing only two feet away from me, he turned his cold eyes onto me. "What about her Spanish lesson? Or have you taken that upon yourself to change as well?"

  My mouth gaped open for a moment and then I closed it and straightened myself up.

  "Roberto is in Spain until the New Year. So, he cancelled the lessons until his return. I put the note about the change into the mail slot on your office door." My tone was borderline angry and I knew I needed to calm myself. Right at that moment the oven timer alerted me the cookies were done. I turned to take them from the oven.

  "What educational value does making cookies hold?" He quipped as my back was turned.

  I slid the hot cookie tray onto the top of the stove a little roughly and spun around.

  "Fractions." I narrowed my eyes on him.

  "Fractions?" I swear he almost rolled his eyes.

  "Yes, fractions and measurements" I crossed my arms over my chest. "Plus she is practicing reading when she was reading from the recipe book." I raised a brow at him actually hoping this time he would continue to battle this one out with me.

  I realized both Victoria and Mrs. Baker had grown very quiet and still, their eyes flicking back and forth between Dr. Bishop and myself as we had out staring standoff. For one moment he seemed flustered before he pulled himself together and grumbled as he walked out of the kitchen. I sighed in frustration and turned back to Victoria and Mrs. Baker.

  "You alright dear?" Mrs. Baker lightly rubbed my arm.

  I nodded.

  "Yes" I breathed out. "I just don't get why he is so…Argh!" I growled. After taking a deep breath I turned to Victoria. "Hey why don't you go upstairs and get washed up. I'll clean up the mess down here, okay?" She nodded and ran off. I turned my attention back to Mrs. Baker. "Please help me understand him before I douse him in Holy Water?"

  She burst into laughter. "Dear, I wish I could help you, but I'm afraid I don't completely understand him myself. Just know he wasn't always this way. It has a lot to do with Victoria's mother." She sighed and patted my hand. "She left him, just up and left him and Victoria. Now, I don't know the whole story, I just know she left and it crushed him."

  "But why take that out on Victoria?" I begged to understand.

  "Honey, when you look at Victoria, do you see Collin?" She raised an eyebrow at me.

  "I-I don't know…what are you saying?" I furrowed my brow.

  She pressed her lips together tightly before speaking. "She looks just like her mother. When he sees her he sees the woman that walked away from them."

  "That's not Victoria's fault. She's his daughter. He doesn't have to be so cold and calculating with her."

  "You and I know that, but he can't seem to be any other way." She scooted her chair back and stood. "Come with me."

  I followed Mrs. Baker to a closet in the dining room. She took out a key and unlocked the door. What I thought was a closet was actually a small room.

  "This is supposed to be for holding dinnerware and silver, etc. However, this is where he keeps all of her things." Mrs. Baker reached into a drawer and pulled out a picture, holding out for me to look at.

  There stood a smiling Dr. Bishop. He looked much younger and in his arms was a slender, beautiful woman. Victoria was almost her clone. Her hair, face shape, skin tone, it was all like her mothers.

  "That is Grace, Victoria's mother." I nodded in understanding. "They fell in love when he was at medical school. Victoria was definitely a surprise to both of them, but they decided to keep her. They were going to marry around Victoria's second birthday, but Grace left. She just disappeared one day. I don't know what happened, but I do know after that he was very different."

  I handed her back the picture. We headed back to the kitchen and started cleaning up.

  "Why does he keep all of her things? Shouldn't he give some things to Victoria and get rid of the rest, or does he think she is coming back?"

  Mrs. Baker sighed.

  "Honestly, my opinion is he hopes she will come back to him." I nodded and we finished cleaning in silence.

  Truly, I felt bad for Dr. Bishop. I really did. Though I still didn't see how he could shut his own flesh and blood out of his life and treat her as no more than furniture. I was still lost in my thoughts about everything I had just been told as I climbed the stairs. My foot slipped from the final step and I grabbed for the banister as my body lost the battle with gravity. Suddenly, two arms were wrapped around my waist and pulling me into a standing position. I blinked a couple of times before turning my head to see Dr. Bishop staring back at me.

  "Th-thank you," I stuttered out, still a little shaken from my almost fall.

  He didn't say anything, only stared into my eyes, which flickered around to different spots on my face. His arms were still around my waist and I started to feel an odd sense of comfort. I shook it off and pushed back from him. Dr. Bishop seemed to snap out of the trance he was in.

  "I apologize." He turned with clenched fists and headed toward his room.

  Trying to understand what Mrs. Baker had told me and then process what had just happened with Dr. Bishop, my brain put up a white f
lag in surrender. I decided not to think about it any longer. Instead I headed toward Victoria's room to see if she was all cleaned up before going to my own room to get ready for bed.

  That night was the first night dreams of comforting arms, cold green eyes, and caressing touches infiltrated my dreams. I blame the cookie dough eaten the night before.

  Chapter Six

  Christmas was rapidly approaching and things had started to get a little hectic. Victoria may not have had Spanish, but her Piano instructor decided to take the hour on those 'off' Fridays to prepare her for the recital he put on each holiday season. Then there was the school Holiday Party and Play.

  The school play was the Nutcracker and Victoria had a part as a snowflake. Her costume was absolutely freaking adorable and when she said the few lines she had, I couldn't help but giggle. She was priceless. The school had sent a flyer home about the date and time of the play so I put it in Dr. Bishop's office mail box, along with the information about the piano recital.

  Since I was such a super volunteer, I signed up to help with the Holiday Party at St. Johns Prep. So, when I received a letter from Victoria's teacher stating I would be required to attend the party as a helper and was assigned to bring in cupcakes, fifty of them, the time needed to make them flashed through my head.

  "Fifty cupcakes," I exclaimed.

  Victoria looked up from her homework with confusion on her face.

  "Do you have fifty kids in your class?" I gasped out.

  She shook her head. "No, our party is for the whole first grade, so it's a lot." I nodded dumbfounded. She put her head back down and worked on her homework. I sighed and pulled out some recipe books, trying to figure out which to make and if I needed to make a grocery run.

  A few days passed and it was time to prepare the cupcakes. After Victoria was tucked into her bed, I spent my Wednesday evening baking cupcakes, waiting for them to cool, and then squeezing icing onto them. Okay, so I cheated and bought the readymade icing in the tubes and then just sprinkle the holiday shaped candies on top. It was fifty freaking cupcakes for god's sake.