Live In Position

by Sadie Grubor

  Larissa watched her walk out and then turned to me.

  "What the heck happened?"

  I shrugged.

  "She threw a tantrum." I grabbed a dish towel and began cleaning up the spilled coffee.

  After an hour of sitting in my room attempting to focus on my book, I finally gave up. I had just put all of my things on my desk when I heard a knock. My heart leapt, it was possibly Victoria.

  No, no, she would've just burst into the door. Maybe it was someone telling me she was home. I swung the door open quickly. With a gasp I spoke.

  "Dr. Bishop?"

  "Ms. Ashwood" his tone was cold and calculating.

  So, we are back to this. I stood up straighter and swallowed the newest lump to form in my throat.

  "What can I do for you?" I eyed him wearily.

  The coldness melted with a small gleam that flickered in his eyes before he responded.

  "Victoria will be arriving in twenty minutes."

  I nodded.

  "Okay, thank you." I started to shut my door, but he pressed the door back open and entered quickly. "What are you –?"

  He pulled me to his chest.

  "I can't do this."

  His hold was tight, but not too tight and he smelled so, so, so good. Stop it Sophia! I gave myself an internal slap.

  "Please stop." I whimpered.

  "I know there are risks, but can't we just—"

  "Hide me away?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

  "I don't want you hidden." His voice hardened. "But for the sake of Victoria, that's how it needs to be…for now." He brought a hand to my cheek.

  "So, we risk losing Victoria, risk your family finding out, and we risk hurting Victoria?" I pulled my face away from the touch I longed for.

  "I don't care about my family finding out. It's only a risk until I figure out how to handle Grace, and Victoria would never be hurt by this." He looked at me with both confusion and despair from my rejections.

  "You don't think it would hurt her if this," I motioned between us, "were not to work? If it didn't work and we ended, whatever this is, that she wouldn't be crushed worse when I have to leave?" He opened his mouth, but then closed it tightly. "I can't be a part of risking anything that has to do with her."

  He shook his head.

  "I can't be around you every day." If I wasn't used to the variances of his hard voice, then I wouldn't have been able to hear the want in his statement. "I can't do that anymore." I opened my mouth, but he shut me up with his mouth.

  Those warm lips were attached to such an intense person. The contradiction of his cold mannerisms and his warm kisses and fiery touches were almost part of the turn on. It was like two different men sometimes. Once he pulled back I simply looked into his eyes and saw that small glimmer again.

  "I can't risk her."

  "You won't." He assured me sternly. "Nothing will stop me from keeping Victoria safely in my home."

  I shook my head.

  "You can't be sure that—"

  "I can." He hardened his tone and straightened his body before releasing me from his hold. Before another word could be spoken, he was gone.

  The chime of the doorbell brought me out of a daze that I fell into. Then excitement flew through me like wildfire and I scurried to the door. Yes, I really scurried.

  My feet hit the first floor just as I witnessed Dr. Bishop opening the door and motioning someone in. There she was, Victoria. I started to smile, but then furrowed my brow at the expression on her face. She looked tired and sad, almost depressed. I was immediately concerned.

  "See, right on time." Grace boasted to Collin as she fluttered her eyes at him and released Victoria's hand.

  "Yes, thank you." He said curtly and then glanced to Victoria. "Did you have a nice time?"

  Grace's head shot down to look at Victoria. Victoria glanced up to answer her father, but caught sight of Grace's look and she simply nodded that she had. My furrowed brow morphed into a scowl.

  I cleared my throat lightly and Victoria's head snapped to me. I winked at her and a large grin spread across her face. Squatting down to the floor, she ran toward me, tackling me with full force.

  "Have you been practicing football or something?" I laughed. "Geesh." She giggled. "I missed you." I whispered and hugged her tightly.

  She latched on to me when she heard Grace's voice.

  "Are you going to come give mommy a kiss goodbye?"

  "I don't want to." She whispered to me.

  "Then you don't have to." I whispered back. We stood from the floor and started walking toward Victoria's room.

  "Victoria?" She yelled after us. There was a long pause. "Collin, can you please speak with her about her behavior?"

  "If she doesn't wish to tell you goodbye, then I won't force her to." He said calm, cool, and collected.

  "Well, you should do something about that god awful slut. She is the reason she has such atrocious manners." Grace spat and then I heard the front door shut.

  Victoria and I reached her room. I started going through her bag and cleaning it out. "So, how was it?" I asked in hopes she would tell me she enjoyed herself, but part of me knew that wasn't right.

  "It was fine." She said quietly.

  "Sweetheart, you know you can tell me anything right? If something is wrong, then I want you to tell me about it." I was pleading for to spill whatever was bothering her.

  She only nodded.

  "I'm going to get changed." Her voice was still too quiet, too different.

  I put her clothes in the dirty laundry basket and placed her empty bag in her closet. Then I sat on her bed and waited for her to come out. When she exited her bathroom she looked minimally better than before she entered.

  "You ready to talk to me yet?" I raised my brow at her.

  She sighed.

  "I don't like it there." Victoria sat on the bed next to me.

  "Did she do something to you?" She shook her head. "Victoria, if she did something then I need you to tell me, okay?" I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and held my breath.

  "She didn't do anything, nothing at all." There was a spark of anger in her voice.

  I gave her a confused look.

  "Grace wasn't there the entire time Sophia." She cried out. "I spent the time with a strange woman named Karen. She watched me." Her arms crossed her chest.

  "She just left you? Where did she go?" Victoria opened her mouth, but that's not the voice we heard.

  "Grace left you where?" Dr. Bishop's voice boomed.

  "Nowhere daddy" Victoria shook her head.

  "What did she do to her?" Dr. Bishop looked to me for answers.

  "Apparently, Grace left her with a babysitter named Karen the entire time she was there."

  He turned to Victoria.

  "She didn't spend any time with you at all?" His brow furrowed and his tone was harsh. Victoria flinched.

  I put my hand on Dr. Bishop's arm, but looked at Victoria.

  "You aren't in trouble." I reassured her. "It's just that she is supposed to spend time with you. That was the reason she wanted to see you."

  I pulled my hand away from Dr. Bishop's arm when I realized I lingered too long.

  "I apologize for being so harsh Victoria." He sat next to her on the bed. "I'm not angry with you."

  "You're angry at Grace?" She asked with a curious look. He nodded. "Do I have to go back?" Her eyes were searching his face.

  "For now yes." Her face fell. "I will talk with the lawyers tonight." He kissed the top of her head and left the room.

  "Are you okay?" I asked, kneeling in front of her.

  She shrugged.

  "I didn't even get my own room."

  "What?"

  "I had to sleep on the couch." Her eyes met mine. "She only has one bedroom."

  "Oh."

  That witch couldn't at least share a bed with her daughter. Well maybe it's better she didn't. Lord knows what contagious disease was in the bed of that skank.

  "
I'm hungry." Victoria looked at me sheepishly.

  "Come on. Let's get you something to eat." I smiled widely and when she took my hand I had never been happier. She was home, where she belonged.

  It took me two days to get her out of her rut. When she finally came around, it was just as it were before she had left. William and the boys were over, as usual, but they seemed to spend an unusual amount of time with Allison. Rather, Allison seemed to join them more often than she had before.

  When the week came to a close I could see the tension written all over Victoria, knowing that she was supposed to go with Grace the next day. I tried to keep her mind off of it, but wasn't able to do it any longer when Grace showed up to take her again. The tears were the same as before, as was the retreat to my room. Knowing how miserable Victoria was with Grace had me curled into a ball on the couch in my room. I kept the room dark and the TV off, letting my tears dampen the couch cushions.

  I ignored the random knocks that occurred on my door over the course of three hours. That was until the door opened and Dr. Bishop stepped in. Quickly I wiped my face with my sleeve and groaned.

  "I really can't do this right now." My voice was thick from lack of use and crying. He sighed heavily and left my room. I thanked every star that he actually backed off. The last thing I needed was to be his 'emotional outlet'.

  It was probably about two and a half hours later when I heard Dr. Bishop's voice downstairs.

  "It will be alright. You aren't going back." I sat up quickly and flung my door open. Stopping just outside my door, I saw Dr. Bishop at the top of the stairs with Victoria in his arms, her hands around his neck.

  "Victoria?" I breathed out and headed for her.

  "Sophia." She croaked out. I reached for her and took her in my arms.

  "Are you…Is she okay?" I looked at Dr. Bishop. He nodded, but extreme anger was written across his face.

  "Let's get you to bed." I carried Victoria to her room and lay her down. I climbed in next to her. "Are you sure you're okay?" I whispered to her.

  "Yes." She whispered back and turned around to look me in my face. "Daddy came to get me." She smiled widely.

  "Do you know why?"

  She shrugged.

  "Grace left me alone again." She sighed. I fought the frown that wanted to spread on my face.

  "Get some rest." I rubbed her head. "We will have pancakes in the morning, okay?" She smiled, nodded, and then yawned.

  It was about an hour later Victoria was completely passed out and my mind was still reeling at what caused Dr. Bishop to get Victoria. Finally I couldn't take it any longer and I got out of her bed, tucked her in, and headed toward Dr. Bishop's office.

  I stood outside of his door for almost five minutes before I got the nerve to knock. No answer. I waited a few more minutes, but still nothing. One my way back toward my room it dawned on me that he may be in his room, it was late.

  Standing in front of his door for five minutes, I almost lost the nerve to knock, but I did it.

  He answered the door in a pair of pajama pants and a white t-shirt. A look I had never seen on him before. It was intriguing.

  "Ms. Ashwood?" He furrowed his brow and ran his hand through his hair.

  "What happened?" I asked quietly.

  He sighed and motioned for me to enter. I hesitated and he noticed. Dr. Bishop grabbed my arm and pulled me into his room. I stumbled for a minute, but his grip kept me balanced.

  "After last weekend, I decided to have Grace followed when Victoria was with her." He walked toward a small bar to the right of his room, to the right of his bed. I heard the clink of glass as he poured a drink. "She left her again." He shrugged. "So I retrieved Victoria." He turned back to me.

  "But she didn't do anything harmful, right?" I needed to be reassured by him.

  He shrugged.

  "Not directly." He cleared his throat.

  "Who hurt her?" I gasped and felt myself get nauseous at the thought. "Was it that babysitter?" My fists clenched at my sides.

  He shook his head.

  "No. Victoria is fine, but the intent of her visit is for Victoria and Grace to spend time together, not for Grace to leave her with a babysitter."

  I looked at him with confusion.

  "So how was she hurt?"

  "Not her." He set his glass down and walked until he was a foot in front of me. "It was you who was hurt. Seeing the way you looked on that couch, knowing Victoria was probably miserable. It killed me." I opened my mouth, but he spoke before I could say anything. "I hated sending Victoria to begin with, but my legal counsel said I needed to stick with the agreement. So, instead, I had a private investigator follow Grace and now he is getting statements for me so I can present them to the judge." He walked back to the bar, picked his glass back up and drained it before setting it back down.

  His back was still to me, so he didn't see me approach. I wrapped my arms around his waist and he stiffened for a brief second before placing his arms over mine.

  "Thank you." I whispered into his back.

  Dr. Bishop turned around. I let go, but he quickly pulled me back to him. My head was buried in his chest and I felt his lips on the top of my head.

  "There is nothing to thank me for."

  We stayed like this until my legs started to ache and I pulled away. He grabbed my hand and pulled me toward his bed. I resisted and started to argue.

  "Nothing is going to happen." He whispered and then pulled me into his bed next to him. I sat looking down at him. "I promise." He stated firmly, drawing me down to him. We lay next to each other in silence until eventually I fell asleep in the arms of Dr. Bishop.

  When the brightness of the next day roused me from sleep, it took me a couple of minutes to recall last night and where I was sleeping. I looked around me and saw Dr. Bishop still fast asleep to my left, his back to me.

  I slid out of his bed and out of his room. After taking a deep breath, I turned around.

  "Shit!" I screamed and caused Juliet to jump.

  She smirked at me.

  "I'm sorry." I whispered and held my chest.

  "Don't worry about it." Her smirk was still there.

  Then it registered what she must be thinking. I started shaking my head.

  "No, no, no. It's not what you think."

  She put her hands up toward me, palms forward.

  "Who am I to judge?" She winked.

  Crap, she just winked at me.

  "No, Juliet, it really isn't like that at all. I swear to you that it's—" Dr. Bishop's door opened behind me.

  "There you are." He yawned. "What happened?" He stopped when he saw Juliet. "Good morning Juliet."

  "Good morning Collin." Her smirk still in place, she continued toward the stairs.

  I slapped my forehead in mortification as she walked away from us, and shot Dr. Bishop a look.

  "What?" He scrunched his face at me.

  "You couldn't just stay in your room for ten more minutes?" I shook my head and walked down the hall.

  "What are you talking about?" His cold tone was there, but it didn't seem to have the same effect as before.

  I turned around.

  "Juliet," I exclaimed and motioned in the direction she left.

  He shrugged and grinned. "I don't care what my family thinks Sophia."

  I stood there with my mouth hanging open. He turned and went back into his room. I growled out loud and trudged to my own room to get showered and dressed.

  "Sophia!" Victoria's voice bellowed from my bedroom.

  I wrapped my towel around me tightly, turned the bathroom door knob, and leaned out the door.

  "In the bathroom!"

  She skipped into my room still in the pajamas Dr. Bishop carried her home in.

  "Good morning!" She hoped onto my bed with a large smile.

  I left the door cracked open while I dried off.

  "Good morning," I shouted back. Once dried off, I slipped into my baggy jeans and tank top. Pulling open the door I noti
ced Victoria was sitting Indian style in the middle of my bed. "Did you sleep well?"

  She nodded.

  "Daddy came to get me last night." Her smiled was intoxicating.

  "I know." I twisted my hair into a braid and leaned against the bathroom doorframe.

  "He said I don't have to go back." Her face beamed.

  I chuckled.

  "Let's go get you some breakfast." Pushing off of the doorframe I motioned for her to follow me.

  "Pancakes?" she asked as she hurried to my side.

  "That's what I promised." I tickled her sides as she rushed passed me toward the stairs.

  We got to the kitchen where she helped me mix up the batter and pour it into even circles on the preheated griddle. As we were making our first flips we heard Juliet and Connor enter from the back patio. I wanted to cringe from embarrassment.

  "Good morning my lovely," Connor kissed the top of Victoria's head to greet her. "Are you making breakfast?"

  "Yep," she popped her 'p' at the end and nodded excitedly.

  "Well then I should make some fresh squeezed orange juice and start some bacon to go with it." Juliet offered as she pulled large oranges out of the refrigerator.

  Victoria and I continued to flip pancakes and stack them on a plate. Connor made more coffee and then helped Juliet with the orange juice.

  "What's going on in here?" I looked over my shoulder and saw Larissa, Ryan, Max, and MJ walk into the kitchen. I kept looking for Amber, but she never entered. Silently, I wondered where she was.

  "We're all making breakfast," Victoria announced.

  "Got enough for us too," Max smiled broadly.

  "Max," Larissa scolded.

  "I'm sure we have plenty." Juliet spoke softly and turned back to the bacon, adding some more.

  Victoria and I mixed up more pancake mix. Max appeared next to us scrambling some eggs. I caught myself gawking at him as he cooked. He smirked and then shrugged at me.

  "The least I can do is help."

  I smiled and carried on with Victoria.

  "Any word from Ilene?" Larissa practically sneered when she enunciated her name.