The Couple

by Helly Acton

  Adrian clicks on the meeting room screen remote.

  ‘Meet Holly,’ Adrian says, nodding towards a revolving image of a teenage girl. ‘She’s sixteen years old and she thinks she’s in love.’

  When Sasha tuts loudly, Ben shoots her a hard stare.

  Holly’s skull turns transparent to reveal a brain swarming with multicoloured lines, flowing and twisting over each other. ‘Swirling around her young brain is a heavy blend of hormones that have a huge impact on how she behaves. Oestrogen, dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, to name a few. Now, Holly was a good girl. Polite. Respectful. Top of the class. But since her hormones got fired up and she started hanging out with class rebel Dave, she’s turned into a monster. Rude. Disrespectful. Bunking off school, getting bad marks and breaking all the rules. Most concerning for her parents is that her prospects are at risk. They thought they’d raised a prize-winning medic. Now they’re worried they’ve raised hell. But, with one packet of Oxytoxin, they can help their daughter get back on track. Goodbye, Deadbeat Dave. Welcome back, Life Winner Holly.’

  He clicks again. The next projection shows an adult man looking miserable.

  ‘Imagine a world without heartbreak. Poor Eric here can’t. He’s thirty-five and for some reason his hormones are still raging like a horny teenager. He has a horrible habit of falling fast and hard in love with every man he meets. And when they inevitably don’t feel the same way, he’s crushed. But, with Oxytoxin, Eric can remove any risk of ever falling in love and deal with the horn the way normal people do – hooking up on Slide! The only regret he’ll ever have is wishing he’d taken it sooner.’

  Ben laughs. ‘But being in love doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you, does it?’

  ‘Um, yeah, it does,’ Sasha replies. ‘It screams self-esteem issues.’

  ‘I know someone from school who’s in a couple,’ Margot muses. ‘Thinking about it, he was always a big clingy. And none of us talk to him anymore.’

  ‘But it’s not an actual illness,’ Ben continues. ‘Do you think every couple is sick? You choose to be in a couple. You don’t choose to have cancer.’

  ‘People choose to jump off bridges – it doesn’t mean they’re right in the head,’ Sasha argues, cruelly.

  ‘I don’t get couples, but I’m with Ben,’ Millie says, flashing a glare at Sasha when she isn’t looking. ‘Look at Ruth. She’s in one. While I don’t see the appeal of it, and I don’t understand why she still chooses to be in a couple, I respect her choice. And there definitely isn’t anything wrong with her.’

  ‘Ah! You two might think that you choose to be in a couple,’ Adrian responds, ‘but the reality is, you don’t. Our behaviour is largely dictated by how we are wired. How we act is in the hands of our hormones, and we can’t control those without medical intervention. Can we?’

  ‘But how we act can’t just be hormonal,’ Ben says. ‘How we’re raised must have something to do with it. Don’t our parents have some kind of influence? People raised by couple parents, like me, might want to be in a couple. People raised by single parents might balk at the idea. That’s not hormones, it’s just what they know.’

  ‘Conditioning can be so dangerous,’ says Margot, shaking her head.

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ Sasha says, insincerely.

  ‘For what?’ Ben looks at her.

  ‘That you were raised in couple household. Must have been tough. All those arguments. Being brought up to believe you’re not enough on your own.’

  ‘Who’s to say they argued? I loved my childhood.’ Ben stares at her, baffled and stung. ‘Who were you raised by, wolves?’

  Millie suppresses a giggle. Sasha turns back to Adrian, searching for backup.

  ‘When I was fourteen,’ Adrian explains, ‘I thought I was in love with a girl on my football team. Michelle Barton. She was an absolute belter. For six months, Michelle Barton infiltrated my brain and overpowered my thoughts. Just the sight of her from across the field gave me instant stomach ache, so, I asked her out. She laughed in my face and then told everyone on the team that I was a freak. It took me a year to recover. If Oxytoxin had been around back then, I could’ve popped some pills and moved on with my life, instead of wasting a whole year feeling sorry for myself. Better still, I could’ve taken it before meeting her and never felt that way in the first place. Love is an illness. Love can make you miserable. Love can push you over the edge.’

  The four of them watch Adrian as he stares into space for a while.

  Ben clears his throat. ‘Look, I understand it can be a nightmare, but those feelings are part of being human. It’s part of growing up. It’s character-building. Avoiding it completely just seems like meddling. I mean, I can fall out with friends and family. Should I take a pill to stop me feeling anything? Should we all just become robots, to avoid the risk of going through any kind of emotional trauma?’

  ‘Well, that’s the brilliant thing about Oxytoxin,’ Adrian replies. ‘It’s very precise. It doesn’t stop us from feeling platonic love or sexual desire. It recognises that humans need to feel loved, and so it only disables romantic love. You can still love your friends and family. Your dog, cat, rabbit, hamster. In fact, you might even have more love for them after this. It also recognises our basic human need for sex, so it enables us to feel lust. Oxytoxin is going to prove to the world that being in a couple serves no purpose at all. I mean, we wouldn’t be flogging it at Slide if it didn’t, would we? Oxytoxin takers will still desire strings-free sex. And that’s why the geniuses at Human have developed this.’

  ‘Because,’ Millie says slowly, ‘if fewer people fall in love, it means more people are having one-night stands. It means more customers for Slide.’

  ‘Exactly.’

  ‘Isn’t that clever?’ Ben says, facetiously.

  Actually, it’s genius, Millie thinks. Of course, the pill isn’t relevant to her. The closest she’s ever come to falling in love was with a peanut butter, honey and banana cheesecake from Dairy Devils.

  Millie thinks about Ruth and Sam, and how happy they’ve been. She thinks of the effort Ruth went to for Sam’s birthday. The gifts, the ski holiday. If their relationship ended, Ruth would be devastated. Perhaps it has ended. Maybe that’s what the missed calls were about. For all Millie knows, Sam could have ended it and Ruth could be sitting at home, sobbing her heart out. If Oxytoxin can prevent that kind of pain, it can only be a good thing, right? Millie glances at her phone. Still nothing.

  ‘Personally, I can’t imagine falling in love or being in a couple,’ Millie says. ‘And I don’t think there’s something wrong with people who are. I just feel sorry for them. They have to face so many challenges every day, and they’ve chosen to make their lives harder when their relationships are bound to break down anyway. And, if Single Me Out! is anything to go by, that kind of mental trauma is extremely painful. So, if this pill can help those who’ve had their hearts broken, that sounds . . . positive, right?’

  ‘Why do you feel sorry for couples?’ Ben turns to her.

  Millie thinks back to when she found out about Sam. It took a few weeks for the shock to settle. And when it did, it left Millie with a permanent worry that Ruth was, deep down, unhappy, despite the smiles on the surface.

  ‘I feel sorry for them for a few reasons. Emotionally, it’s horrible to think that they can’t be happy on their own. That they have to rely on someone else to feel complete. That they have zero independence. That they have to constantly check in with each other. Make joint decisions and agree on every single thing. Their children, if they have them. Their houses. Where they live. Their future. What to have for dinner! Practically, being in a couple sounds like a complete hassle, having to sacrifice time and share space and belongings. Financially, it’s also way more expensive to be in a couple.’

  ‘How?’ Ben asks.

  ‘In lots of ways, according to Ruth.’

  Millie shifts in her seat. His visible disappointment makes her uncomfortable.

  ‘A
pparently, if she and Sam move in together,’ Millie continues, ‘their rent will double, and that’s if they can find anywhere to rent at all. Loads of landlords refuse to rent to couples, because it doubles the rate of the wear and tear. I don’t know, it just seems like everything is so much easier when you’re single. But the worst of it is, what happens when they split up? What do they do with their shared stuff? Maybe sorry is the wrong word. Ruth hates people feeling sorry for her. Whenever anyone asks her if she’s OK with being in a couple, she seems fine. Annoyed with the question, but fine.’

  ‘Maybe she is,’ Ben suggests. ‘Fine. And annoyed.’

  ‘Well, as far as I can see, love gives you brain fog. So that explains Ruth,’ Adrian says.

  On the one hand, a pill that stops people from experiencing romantic love feels like an evil act of tampering. On the other hand, a pill that prevents heartbreak and helps coupled individuals find focus and happiness alone, feels like an act of kindness. Is romantic love an illness? You get lovesick. You have a crush. You have your heart broken. You fall in love. Maybe it is. Maybe she’s never thought of it that way. Why would she? Millie never thinks of romantic love at all.

  ‘So how does it work?’ Ben asks. ‘You take a couple of pills and then you’re sorted?’

  ‘It’s a two-dose course,’ Adrian replies. ‘The first pill in Week One to trigger the changes. The second pill in Week Two to complete them. After that, you’re risk-free forever. For the rest of your life, you no longer have to worry about strange thoughts, stomach cramps, sweaty palms, ludicrous behaviour and poor judgement.’

  ‘Well, that really does sound amazing,’ Ben says, unconvincingly. ‘So, what are the next steps?’

  ‘I’m splitting you four up into two teams. Sasha and Margot, you’re in Team One. Millie and Ben, you’re in Team Two. In two weeks, I want to see some big campaign ideas from you about how we can launch this in the global market. Consider it a creative competition.’

  ‘Brilliant,’ Sasha says, tapping her pen against her teeth.

  In one swift movement, Millie leans across the table, grabs the pen, breaks it in two and shoves both halves up Sasha’s nostrils.

  ‘Millie?’ Adrian interrupts her.

  ‘Sorry?’

  ‘I said,’ Adrian sighs, ‘any questions?’

  ‘What about Ruth?’ Millie asks, thinking of a question just in time. ‘What’s her role in this?’

  Adrian stares at Millie.

  ‘I thought you’d know. Ruth quit Slide last night.’

  Six

  The news hits Millie like a sledgehammer straight to her chest.

  ‘What do you mean, she quit Slide?’ Millie asks, disbelievingly. ‘She was fine last night!’

  ‘Oh dear,’ Sasha murmurs. ‘You think you know someone, right, Millie? Aren’t you guys meant to be like, best friends?’

  Millie ignores her. Probably better than punching her.

  ‘I’m not sure,’ Adrian replies. ‘Perhaps our creative differences finally caught up with us. Perhaps Ruth feels like she’s taken the team as far as she can. I do know that she told me, in no uncertain terms, that when she walked out the door, she wasn’t coming back.’

  ‘But something must have triggered her,’ Millie says softly.

  ‘Are you OK?’ Ben asks.

  Millie nods. Her voice might tremble if she speaks. How could Ruth leave without even letting her know?

  ‘Ben, Margot, I need to have a word with Millie and Sasha alone,’ Adrian says.

  Millie watches as they leave the room. On the other side of the glass wall, Ben does a mug and a thumbs up signal. Millie nods slowly, still in shock.

  ‘Look, I didn’t fire her,’ Adrian continues. ‘She chose to walk out. Well, storm out, I suppose.’ He chuckles. ‘But that’s not why I asked you to stay behind. I asked you to stay because with Ruth gone, we have no chief creative officer. We need one. And I think you both have the potential to fill her shoes.’

  Millie Jones, Chief Creative Officer.

  When Millie was ten years old, she made business cards with this very title on them and handed them out to her mother’s advertising colleagues at the door of the agency Christmas party, telling them she was in charge of the decorations that year. She can’t believe that her entire purpose, the reason she has poured her life into this place, is now within reach. Millie’s heart races when she thinks of the look on her mum’s face if she were to get the title. Vivian will be like a puppy in a park, running around yapping to all her friends. Then she’ll swiftly move on to a discussion about how the role will give Millie solid experience for taking the next step in her career: starting her own advertising agency. Her mum isn’t the type to celebrate scoring a goal for long – her eye is always on the next prize.

  Just as the corners of her mouth start to lift, Millie pictures Ruth. How could she be a good friend and yet step into Ruth’s shoes when she should still be wearing them? It would feel like Millie was yanking them off her.

  ‘Millie?’ Adrian interrupts her thoughts again. ‘Did you hear me? I’m putting both you and Sasha forward for Ruth’s role. I thought you’d be pleased.’

  ‘I, for one, am truly, Adrian, thank you,’ Sasha replies, beaming sycophantically.

  ‘Sorry, I am pleased,’ Millie says. ‘Delighted, actually. It’s just a lot to process.’

  ‘Good. Now listen, you’re strong candidates, but you’re not certainties. You both have an excellent work ethic and you’re dedicated to the cause. You have unique strengths which fall in your favour. Millie, you’re a people person. You’re inspiring. The juniors flock around you like you’re a mother hen. Sasha, you’re more of a board member type. You inspire in a different way. Millie’s a good cop, you’re a bad. And both management approaches have their virtues. The juniors listen to you, Sasha, because they know they’ll get that signature dagger stare if they don’t.’

  Sasha smiles smugly.

  ‘Millie, my biggest concern with you is that you’re overly cautious and you care too much about what other people think,’ Adrian continues. ‘Leaders need to take risks, face criticism and tackle confrontation head-on, especially when it comes to handling hot potatoes like Oxytoxin. We need someone who will defend what we do here, no matter what challenges we face in the media or elsewhere. I can’t have another Ruth. Another quitter. I need someone with commercial smarts and a smattering of ruthlessness. Ha! Ruthless. I guess we’re all Ruth-less now, aren’t we?’ He grins. ‘Sasha, my biggest concern with you is likeability.’

  Sasha’s repugnant grin morphs into a frown.

  ‘We need a charmer. Someone who can win the critics over. This pill will literally be a difficult one for many to swallow, so we need a softer touch than the blows you’re known to deliver.’

  ‘Well, I’ll be sure to dial up the charm then,’ Sasha replies.

  ‘So, is there an interview process? Do we have to present to the board?’ Millie asks.

  ‘This Oxytoxin pitch is your interview process. We’ll be judging you both on how you lead the project, work with your team, and ultimately on the strength of your campaign ideas. The winner, and the new chief creative officer, will be announced at the summer party.’

  ‘May the best creative win!’ Sasha sings, clapping her hands.

  Millie didn’t want a promotion by default. She wanted to earn it, with Ruth handing over the reins. Millie had imagined the moment a thousand times. Ruth would take her to lunch at Regina’s On the River and order an expensive bottle of champagne. Then she’d lean forward and announce in a whisper that it was finally happening: Adrian was stepping out and they were stepping up. Instead, Ruth has abandoned her and Millie’s here, stuck with Adrian, who’s tapping through Slide in front of them now and grunting when he gets a match. Gross. Millie pictures Ruth at home, looking miserable. Of course, she might not be. She wasn’t happy about being here yesterday. Maybe she’s at Regina’s On the River with Sam, toasting her swift exit.

  After the mee
ting, Millie heads to the office kitchen, leaning back on the counter as she blows the steam from the top of the tea that Ben has left for her. It came with a sticky note saying I’m excited to get crea-tea-ve with you. It’s made her smile, when smiling is the last thing she feels like doing in the wake of Ruth’s walkout.

  She’s worked all her life for this position. She’s been the brains behind their biggest campaigns. She’s spoken at conferences when no one else would, despite wanting to crawl into a hole each time. She deserves this promotion, and she’s allowed to feel proud of it. Isn’t she? Besides, Ruth’s the one who left without a word. Ruth’s the one who broke their pinky promise – that she’d take Millie with her if she left. Millie imagines what her mum will say when she finds out.

  You don’t owe her anything.

  You owe yourself everything.

  Millie’s ears prick up when she hears whispers in the print room.

  ‘Did you hear? Adrian fired Ruth. Huge argument, apparently. Something about her being in a couple and so a poor Slide spokesperson,’ Voice One says.

  ‘Why wouldn’t she just give up the partner?’ Voice Two replies.

  ‘Beats me. I mean, being in a couple is weird enough, but to choose that over a career here? That’s full-blown bananas.’

  ‘What are you two talking about?’ Millie says loudly, her heart thumping as she walks round the corner with her arms folded. The two creative interns pause in shock.

  ‘Haven’t you got work to do? If I find out that you’re spreading rumours about someone in this office, there will be a formal warning.’

  As Millie watches them slink away, their comments replay in her head. How could Ruth throw away everything she’s worked so hard for here? She was one position away from the top. How could she sacrifice her career and change the whole course of her life just for a relationship, if that’s what it was?