Her Siberian Shifter

by Faye Avalon

  Connie nodded. She had so much to learn about his special ability. While she ran her fingers along his biceps, she remembered how he had tended her foot and had told her not to worry about damage to his own. “When you stepped on that glass and shrugged it off, was that because if you’re cut you heal fast?”

  In response, he sat up and raised the sole of his foot for her to see. There was no blood, no cut, but only the tiniest scar that looked like it could have been caused by broken glass.

  “Wow. That’s amazing.” Once, that might have terrified her. Once, it had terrified her. But now? “Does it hurt?”

  “Hardly at all. Another benefit.” He reached for the hand she touched gently to the scar. “The night I was changed the pain was agony. Since then, physical injuries do not affect me too badly.”

  He kissed the back of her hand, then turned it to kiss her palm. Connie’s heart squeezed. She could hardly bear to imagine the suffering and fear of the small boy he’d once been. “After what you went through, it’s only fair you get to have some benefits.”

  “Right now, the biggest benefit is knowing you are more able to accept what I am.”

  She drew in a breath. “I know what kind of man you are. That you’d never hurt me.”

  “You are mine, milaya. You always will be. I much regret the need to threaten you to make you understand that.”

  Her heart fluttered, and she stroked her fingers along his jaw. “I know you would never have gone through with it. That you would never have kept me against my will.”

  His eyes narrowed. “You mistake my meaning. You should understand I would have done exactly that. There is nothing I would not do to have you.”

  Swallowing, she sat, as the lovely warm fuzzy feeling disappeared beneath a cloud of mortification. “You really mean that? You would have carried out your threat to keep me with you? Even if I really didn’t want to stay?”

  He nodded. “I would have done so in the knowledge that eventually you would come to accept what I am.”

  A definite chill rent the air, flowing through her, turning her inside out again. She straightened her shoulders, moving away as he reached for her. “Then it seems I was wrong.”

  Wrong to believe him capable of being concerned about her welfare. Wrong to imagine he would have let her go if he thought her to be truly unhappy. Wrong to think he would never have forced her to continue a relationship she really didn’t want.

  Connie wanted to cry out as reality struck her in the face. Even after all they’d been through, all his supposed caring, giving her time, nothing had changed. She forced the tears back and struggled to stand, hoisting the towel with her. “Do you really think you have the right to go around forcing people to do what you want regardless of their feelings? You say you regret it, you regret threatening me?” She glared at him when he got to his feet. “But obviously not enough to keep from carrying out that threat regardless.”

  Her throat caught, her eyes stinging as she hurried around the pool to the exit. She hadn’t realized he was behind her until he grabbed her wrist in the hallway.

  “Why this outburst?” he demanded, swinging her around to face him. “It is all moot now. You have accepted me. Accepted who I am. We are together again. There is no need for your anger.”

  “No need?” She scoffed out a laugh. Unbelievable. He was unbelievable. “Oh, I’ve got news for you. There’s every need. Do you really think it’s acceptable to hold someone against their will? To force them to stay with you until they come around to your way of thinking?

  She tried to shake off his grip on her wrist but couldn’t. Briefly, she thought of what he’d told her about his increased strength, and her heart plummeted.

  “While I might have been wrong about some things, while I might have been judgmental and harsh, there was one thing I was right about,” she said, glaring at him. “You are a monster. Thinking you can exert your will on someone regardless of that person’s wishes. That you can take simply because you’re stronger, faster, more powerful.”

  She almost stumbled back when he let go of her. “What was I thinking when I said I knew you? I never came bloody close.” Her voice hitched, and a shiver of despair trembled through her. “Your behaviour is despicable, Tor.”

  His head came up, and his nostrils flared. But he said nothing. Not a word. Instead, he turned and left her standing alone in the hallway. She watched him leave through the front door of the villa, and jumped when the door slammed behind him, almost rocking the whole building.

  She stood there, stunned and shaken. How could things have gone so wrong again, so quickly? In the pool everything had seemed perfect, just like it had during that weekend they’d shared in the New Forest. But once again, she had soon discovered something about him that had rocked her happiness. She had thought finding out he was capable of transforming into a wolf was hard to accept, but knowing he was capable of such ruthless intent was so much harder to swallow.

  Shuddering in a breath, she ran up the stairs, her thoughts in disarray. She had to leave, had to get away. There was nothing else left to do. She didn’t know how and she didn’t know when, but she’d have to work that out. If it meant living the rest of her life looking over her shoulder, then so be it.

  All she had to do was keep from breaking until she was as far from Tor as she could possibly get.

  Chapter Five

  He needed to run. Again. Connie had cut him to the core with her tirade. And for the life of him he didn’t know what had provoked such an outburst. What he did know was that he had hurt her. So badly that she despised him. Even when she had seen him that night, when she had seen the truth of who he was, the look in her eyes had not shot such anguish into his heart.

  Before, there had been shock, disbelief. Tonight, there was hatred, loathing.

  At the edge of the forest, he stood and looked into the dense, darkness. The heat came first, rising through his limbs and tearing into his joints and tendons. The cracking and stretching of his bones rent through the silence of the forest. He dropped to all fours as fur sprouted through his pores, as his jaw cracked and his teeth elongated. He shook his head, his body on fire now, the heat searing his flesh and throbbing through muscle and sinew.

  Fully transformed, he pawed the ground, scenting his surroundings. Small creatures skittered out of his way as he began to run. He gathered speed, pounding through the familiar terrain, but no amount of running could drive the melancholy from his system.

  Never had he felt the desire for anyone so fiercely. He had become immune, he thought, to needing the company of another, and to needing acceptance.

  After being changed, after losing his parents in such a brutal manner, he’d closed himself off from emotion. He’d vowed that he would never again allow himself to feel such devastating heartbreak. Awash in confusion and fear, he’d decided emotion would never be part of his life again.

  But Connie had changed that. She’d changed him.

  He didn’t know when it had happened, but he had dared open that part of himself that had long ago been shut away.

  Then she had rejected him. And he felt that rejection fiercely. It went so deep that it had rocked his very soul.

  A monster, she’d said. He was a monster. For wanting her? For doing anything to make her his? For offering her whatever her heart desired? If that made him a monster then he would accept it.

  Despicable. She’d called him despicable. For threatening to hold her a virtual prisoner? Making her his captive? Maybe he was despicable for making such a threat, and he had been honest when he’d told her he regretted doing that. But he’d been a desperate man. And desperate men made desperate threats. Would he have carried through with his threat? He would never truly know. For he’d been certain that spending time here in the Alps alone with her would have afforded him the opportunity to convince her that she had no reason to fear him. That they were meant to be together. That he would never hurt her, would always protect her.

  Connie had be
come so much a part of him that he felt he couldn’t exist without her by his side. She had become as much a part of him as his breath, his blood, his vital organs.

  His soul.

  But it had all somehow backfired.

  Now all he could do was run. Run himself into exhaustion. Then maybe, just maybe, he would find a way to make things right.

  ****

  Connie woke with a start. After packing her things, she’d taken up residence in the chair by her bed and settled in to wait until morning. She’d listened for Tor to return, praying that he wouldn’t come and find her. She was so mixed up and felt emotionally drained. Fortunately, hours passed, and he didn’t come back. Sleep had finally claimed her, but it had been fitful. She’d dreamed of Tor. She’d dreamed of making love with him in the forest by a stream. Of watching him shift and run and later, when he had become human again, they’d made love under the stars with the huge moon looking on. She’d dreamed of prison bars, of a huge bed where she’d been chained naked to huge metal posts. She’d tried to scream, but no sounds came. Then she’d dreamed of Tor again, breaking her free of those chains, wrapping her in his arms and taking her to safety.

  It was then that she’d woken.

  She glanced at the clock, surprised to find it was a little after nine.

  The wakeful hours before her fitful sleep hadn’t given her any ideas as to how she would make her escape that morning, but she was determined to leave the villa and return to Milan. Perhaps if Tor stayed away, she would be able to call a cab and leave without any further confrontation.

  Surely after she’d made it clear to him that she would never tolerate his threats, he would realize that holding her to the so-called agreement they’d made was futile. But oh, how she wished things could have been different.

  She lifted the bag she’d packed from the bed, grabbed her coat and purse, and made her way downstairs.

  Hearing sounds from the kitchen, she dropped her things in the hallway and went in search of whoever was around. She hoped it was Grigor, and she could ask him to call her a cab. She couldn’t use her own phone, since the battery was shot and she hadn’t even given a thought to recharging it while her head was all over the place.

  When she reached the door well, she stopped in her tracks. Tor stood at the counter by the coffee machine. Dressed in black jeans and a dark blue sweatshirt, he looked deep in thought, as though he was musing on the secrets of the universe rather than brewing coffee.

  Two cups, she noted, and instinctively folded her arms. She hoped to heaven they weren’t about to get into another scene. All she wanted was for him to let her go, for all this to be over. Her heart squeezed painfully around the thought, and she knew that for her it would never really be over. There would always be a huge part of her that would ache for Tor and all they could have had together.

  She had the feeling that he’d known she was there even before he turned and looked at her. Was that to do with his heightened senses? It was a distinct possibility. If only she had taken the opportunity to learn more about his abilities, had only given him the chance to reveal all those secret things about himself that she ached to know. But perhaps it was as well that she didn’t know. Easier to forget him and move on with her life.

  Who was she kidding? She would never forget him, never truly move on with her life.

  Without acknowledging her, he turned back to the machine and poured two coffees. He brought them both to the breakfast bench, sat and pushed one across to her.

  Connie held her ground, even though her insides felt hollow. “I need to leave, Tor. You must know there’s nothing left for us.”

  He toyed with his cup, then looked up at her. There was no arrogance in his gaze, no determination, only a kind of resignation. “One question,” he said.

  Connie swallowed. Did that mean he’d let her leave? That he wasn’t he going to put up a fight? Wasn’t going to make one last plea for her to stay? It was what she wanted, wasn’t it? So why did it squeeze her heart?

  “You knew I intended to hold you against your will if you didn’t willingly return to London with me,” Tor said. “Despite that, and knowing what I am, you let me touch you, make love to you. Yet suddenly I am a monster.”

  Briefly, she closed her eyes, wishing to heaven that she could take the word back. It was harsh and, considering his unique ability, incredibly cruel. “You said you’d do anything to have me,” she said opening her eyes. “That you didn’t regret threatening me and you would carry out that threat if you had to. What did you expect me to do, Tor? Fall at your knees and thank you for wanting me so much? You didn’t spare one thought for what I wanted. Not one. It’s all about you, what you want.”

  “That is untrue. Everything I have done has been for you. I told you that you would want for nothing, everything you desired would be yours.”

  “Except my freedom.”

  He said nothing, but his chin went up, his nostrils flaring.

  “You really think I would find pleasure in your possession regardless of whether or not it was my choice? That I’d be willing to resume a sexual relationship with you when you’d stripped those choices away?”

  Now his eyes looked murderous, his eyebrows drawing together in an ominous frown. “You think I would force you to have sex?”

  She shook her head. “You said you’d lock me up, hold me captive.”

  “And I would, if that is what it took. I would keep you my prisoner until I could convince you that you have nothing to fear from me. Until I could convince you that we were meant to be together.”

  He pushed the coffee away as if it were contaminated. “But as for me forcing you into sex?” He stood, pushing the chair away so fast that it toppled back against the marble floor.

  Connie swallowed. “You made a big play about giving me time to accept everything. Made arrangements for us to spend time here so that, in your terms, you could convince me. Back in Milan, you didn’t exactly act outraged when I asked if your proposition implied I’d have to sleep with you again. Neither did you actually deny it. All you did was go into great detail reminding me of how pleasurable sex had been between us.”

  They stood facing each other across the breakfast bench, their gazes clashing. Then Tor straightened and sucked in a breath. “I could accept your issues with me regarding who and what I am. Indeed, I could understand them, and hoped that by us spending time together you would realize that there is nothing to fear. But that you could think me capable of forcing you to have sex is something I cannot accept.”

  With another deep breath and a long sigh, he moved around the bench and stood in front of her. “Perhaps you are right. There is nothing left for us. I will arrange for Grigor to drive you back to Milan.” He started to lift his hand toward her hair, but then dropped it back. “Rest assured I will not come after you, milaya. You are now free of me.”

  Her throat was so dry she couldn’t swallow. He was giving her what she’d wanted, but she didn’t feel relieved, she felt wretched.

  Then he did touch her hair. “I will arrange for you to receive a list of business contacts who will no doubt snap up your services. Plus, I will provide excellent references.”

  It took her a moment to understand what he was saying, but when the fog cleared she realized she didn’t give a damn about her career right then.

  He was releasing her. Setting her free. And she’d never felt more miserable in her life.

  Heartsick, she barely resisted turning her head into his palm, but he quickly drew away.

  “Grigor will take care of anything you need for your journey back to Milan.”

  Then he left her standing where she was. She squeezed her eyes shut. But even behind closed lids she still saw the look in his eyes as he’d told her he couldn’t accept the worst of what she believed about him. He’d looked devastated, and so hurt.

  Had she been wrong? Her mind whirled back to the conversations they’d had. She could remember clearly the threat he’d made when he’d fo
und her in Milan. When he’d told her he intended holding her a virtual prisoner until she capitulated. She remembered him saying he would come after her if she ever ran from him again. She also recalled that when she’d accused him of expecting her to fall back into his bed as part of the deal he offered, he hadn’t argued the point. She remembered that clearly.

  Okay, so while he hadn’t argued the point, it was a long way from his having actually said it. Opening her eyes, she reached for the edge of the bench. She’d been wrong to believe him capable of that. She’d been wrong about so many things.

  Regardless, it didn’t absolve him of the threats he’d made. She had to remember that.

  The beginnings of a headache throbbed at her temples, as if each unanswered question pounded for attention.

  At the sound of an engine firing, her heartbeat quickened. She hurried through the hallway and out through the open front door. Light snow had begun to fall covering the driveway in a thin carpet of white. A silver convertible exited one of the garages at the side of the villa, the squeal of the accelerator echoing loudly in the silence of the falling snow.

  Tor was at the wheel, and before Connie could think she ran out into its path, intending to flag him down. He came to a halt with a screech of brakes, skidding a little on the sleety driveway.

  Jaw tight, he wound down the window, but Connie flung open his door. “One question,” she said, parodying his earlier directive to her. “What if I’d never accepted you? What then? If I’d been desperately unhappy and hated every moment of being with you, would you still have made me stay?”

  He grabbed the door catch and was about to pull it closed, but Connie leaned in across him and snapped off his seat belt.

  “Answer me.”

  He glanced up at her, making her heart stop. She had never seen him look quite so ravaged, so wounded. His skin had paled, making his gray eyes even more intense.

  Since the car’s engine was still running, and he’d placed his hands back on the steering wheel, Connie knew she had to act before he just sped off. She badly needed him to answer her questions, but at the same time her chest squeezed at the possibility he might just give her the response that would break her heart clean through the center in one final snap.