She let his tongue part her lips as heavenly bliss stole over her. For one final moment she pulled back, breathlessly placing a hand to his lips as she begged her voice not to fail her. She needed to be absolutely sure. She needed to give him one last chance to change his mind. “Hayden, We shouldn’t do this. If we cross this line . . .”
But he didn’t let her finish. Hayden took her face in his hands. She looked up at him and his eyes burned back. “Fuck it. Lines were meant to be crossed. Rules were meant to be broken. And you, Joy, were meant to be mine.”
Hayden
Joy tore off Hayden’s shirt and kissed a trail down his scars. A groan of elation escaped his lips. Joy was here. She’d chosen him over whatever it was that had been holding her back. He knew he should care. He knew he should stop her. He knew this would never end well, but nothing could stop him, not when she straddled his lap, offering herself to him.
Hayden kissed her greedily, tasting every inch of her mouth. His hands made their way to the strings of her bikini at the back of her neck. With one simple tug he released her and sent himself tumbling into the abyss. There was no way back from this. Not when Joy was laid bare before him. She pulled the ties at either side of her bikini bottoms and the material fell away. Holy shit. This was really happening. Joy-fucking-Wright was naked and she wanted Hayden to be naked, too. He knew this because her hands found their way to his shorts, desperately pulling at the waistband.
He helped her pull his shorts free and she kissed him again. The feeling of her nakedness against him nearly blinded him. He wanted to close his eyes and revel in the sensation, but his mind wouldn’t let him. He didn’t know what the hell had changed to make Joy want to break all the rules she made, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to miss a moment of what was about to happen by closing his eyes.
Hayden kissed Joy thoroughly, letting all the passion he felt flow through their lips. He knew when she felt it. He knew because his desire was mirrored in her eyes. She wanted this as much as he did. She was in just as deep.
He pulled back momentarily to take in the totality of the moment.
“Hayden.” Joy panted as he splayed his hands firmly on either side of her hips.
“Say it,” he demanded. “Tell me this is what you want.”
“I want you, Hayden.”
Goddamn. Hayden wanted her so bad it hurt. But he didn’t want to think with the wrong head. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure,” she replied. “Don’t ask me again.”
There was a fire in her eyes that Hayden had never seen before. And he liked it. It was like she was finally freeing herself, finally letting herself want and be wanted. And he didn’t need to be told twice. In one fluid movement he wrapped Joy’s legs tighter around his waist, stood up and carried her out of the Jacuzzi.
“Wait,” Joy murmured. “My things.” She pointed to the edge of the patio but Hayden just shook his head.
“I’ll buy you new things.”
Their lips never parted. Not when he kicked the door shut behind them. Not when he drew the blinds. Not when he threw her down on his king size bed, Jacuzzi water and all. Hayden didn’t give a shit. He’d buy new beds for the whole damn hotel if it meant this was going to happen.
He’d been waiting for this his entire life. And the fact that it was happening with Joy, someone he connected with on a level he hadn’t even known existed . . . It was indescribable.
Hayden slowed his pace, pulling back from Joy’s frenzied kisses. It was too much, too fast. He wanted this to last. But she wasn’t having it. She pushed him to his back, climbing on top so she was in charge. And suddenly, Hayden didn’t care about the pace. He’d let Joy do anything she wanted to him, just as long as she kept looking at him that way—like he was the only thing she’d ever need.
“Do you have a condom?” she asked.
Shit! “Uh, no. I didn’t expect this to happen.”
She sat up swiftly and grabbed a robe hanging on the open bathroom door, slipping it on she padded toward the patio door.
Hayden popped up on his elbows. “Where are you going?”
“My things are outside.”
Was she seriously leaving? “Joy . . .”
“I’ll just be a second.”
Well that was a relief, but what could she possibly need right now?
She walked back through the patio door holding their clothing and a purse, but all Hayden focused on was the square foil packet between her teeth. Joy grinned at him with the condom still trapped between her teeth.
His heart did a backflip. “I think I just fell in love with you all over again.”
Joy laughed and fell back into bed with him.
Joy
Good thing she’d come prepared. It turned out Hayden needed all night and three condoms to thoroughly shatter all their lines and rules. He’d surprised Jo with his tenderness. With the way things started she’d expected sex to be fast and furious between them, and at first it was. But the second and third time had been different.
Hayden had lavished her with selfless affection. She lost herself in his gentle caresses and passionate kisses. He hadn’t left a single inch of her unloved, and that terrified her. They’d had more than just great sex. Hayden had made love to her. He made her feel whole. And that was something she had lost hope for.
When they had finally exhausted themselves, Joy collapsed against Hayden’s chest. She let him wrap his arms tightly around her, because she could already feel the cracks forming. Everywhere he had touched, every part of her he had just made whole, was crumbling apart again—just like she knew it would.
She closed her eyes tight, desperate to hang onto their moment because she knew the second she left him tonight she would fall to pieces. After not nearly long enough, Jo pulled free. She rolled onto her back, collecting herself. Hayden rolled to his side, propping his head on his elbow so he could gaze at her.
His hand traced lazy patterns on her stomach. She should’ve felt more self-conscious being naked in front of him, but she wasn’t. After what they’d shared tonight those boundaries didn’t exist.
Just as Joy formed the thought, Hayden’s fingers traced the long, thin scar just below her hips. “You have scars, too,” he murmured, smiling at her.
“We all have scars,” she replied, cryptically.
She didn’t want to talk about this, but Hayden didn’t seem to sense it. He still had that satisfied grin splitting his lips as his wide hand splayed across her stomach. “What’s it from?”
Jo sat up abruptly. “I have to go.”
“Joy, I didn’t mean . . .” His eyes darted to her scar. “I think you’re beautiful. I have no room to talk when it comes to scars.”
“No, it’s not that.” Lie. “It’s just late. We both need to get some sleep. I’m gonna go clean up real quick,” she said, sliding off the bed and padding quickly toward the bathroom.
“Take your time,” he called after her.
Once inside the bathroom, Jo rested her head against the closed door.
What the hell did I do?
Emotions were already tightening her throat.
No. You don’t get to regret this, Jo.
You got what you wanted.
Okay, so it was better than you ever dreamed, but still . . .
Nothing lasting can come of this.
You knew it would end this way.
Suck it up, coconut.
Enjoy this moment for what it is—beautiful and fleeting.
Jo turned on the shower, letting it drown out her thoughts as she stepped under the water, reluctant to scrub away love’s cruel sting.
44
Hayden
Hayden lay on his back staring up at the ceiling. He was lost in blissful shock. He still couldn’t quite believe what happened tonight.
I had sex with Joy-fucking-Wright!
Three times!
My God, I’m in love with you, Joy.
So hopelessly, irreversibly, in love with you
.
Hayden couldn’t believe how incredible making love to her was. It was celestial, heavenly, life altering. If this was what sex was like how did people ever do anything else? Why weren’t they just attached to each other going at it like bunnies all day? It was madness! And absolutely all Hayden could think about, was doing it again.
Sex with Joy was out of this world. It brought him to a whole different plane of existence. He never knew he could feel so much at once. It made him believe in God. Because who else could create such divine perfection? God and Joy, that’s who.
Yeah, Hayden had been lying about all the sex he’d been having. But he was a twenty-year-old guy. Lying about sex was pretty much a requirement. But at the moment, Hayden was grateful that his boastful tales of past conquests were just that—tales, stories, lies. He was glad Joy was his first—his one and only.
You’re gonna be my first and last, Joy.
There had been some fun makeout sessions and heavy petting in his past, but Hayden had never let things go further than that with the girls who threw themselves at him. Honestly, it didn’t start happening until after his last heart surgery. Having a heart condition doesn’t really elevate one’s sex appeal.
Hayden had been sick much of his childhood, but by his teens, things were a bit better. And once he had his latest surgery he finally felt like he was on solid ground.
That had been three years ago. Despite his illness, Hayden had always been fit and he at least owed his father for passing on his exemplary features. Hayden had thick brown hair, a solid bone structure and a face that was easy on the eyes. It was something he began to notice right around the same times girls did.
He was sixteen when the girls who normally ignored him started fawning over him. At first, he’d welcomed their attention. Being born with an illness to a man driven by perfection left Hayden love-starved. But he learned rather quickly that the girls he went to school with were more interested in what his fame and fortune could give them, than Hayden himself. That’s when he’d begun building the wall around his heart. He knew he needed to guard it. He needed to protect it until he found someone he could trust, someone who could look past all of his flaws and fortune and see him.
He knew now that he’d found that girl.
I’ve been saving my heart for you, Joy.
He heard the shower crank on in his bathroom and he smiled to himself. Maybe he’d join her for round four. He stood up, scrounging around the room for her purse. He found it, pulling one last condom from its depths.
As he was walking to the bathroom he heard his phone chime.
Who the hell was sending him a text at his hour?
Hayden turned around, grabbing his phone from the nightstand with mild concern. The message was from an unknown number. It had a local Hawaii area code, but that wasn’t what concerned him. It was the photo that his thumb had opened without his permission.
His eyes jumped to the screen shot of a text message thread. Above the photo was a text from the anonymous sender. It read: Just thought you should know what you’re getting in the middle of.
Shit. Someone knew.
Someone knows about us, Joy.
But that thought wasn’t even a blip on his radar as he read through the dozens of exchanges between Joy and someone named Kai in the long text thread that the photo revealed.
Her: I love you, baby.
Him: Xoxo.
Her: I miss you, baby.
Him: I miss you, too.
Her: I miss you more.
Him: When are you coming home?
Her: Soon.
Him: Can it be now?
Her: I’m working, baby. But it’ll be worth it. I promise.
Him: I love you.
Her: I’ll love you, forever and ever, baby.
Hayden’s heart pounded with anger and confusion. Each beat asked the same question over and over again. Who the hell is Kai? The question circled around in his head. How many more men would Hayden have to beat out?
He knew there was someone named Max, but he seemed from her past. And Brock was obviously throwing his hat in the ring wanting a shot at Joy’s future. But who was Kai? Was he her present?
Hayden would bet his life this text message was from Brock. He’d seen the sneers Brock shot him from across the fire. And he’d had access to Joy’s phone earlier tonight. But it didn’t really matter who sent the message. Not when the time and date stamps told Hayden everything he needed to know. Joy was in love with someone named Kai. Now. Not in the past or the future. Right now.
While Hayden had spent the last two weeks brokenhearted, pining after Joy, she’d been blissfully unaware . . . content with her love for Kai. He was the hang up. He was the reason she’d made rules and tried to hold herself back. All the pieces finally fit together.
The shower squeaked off and Hayden felt his world circling the drain.
Joy
Jo towel dried her hair and wrapped herself in the extra luxurious terry cloth hotel robe. She used the sleeve to wipe clean a section of the foggy mirror. She checked her reflection. All traces of sorrow were gone. She’d let the few tears she couldn’t contain slip out unnoticed in the shower. Now, she was resolved to walk back out there, kiss Hayden goodnight, and cherish the memories of her night with him.
There would be plenty of time to mourn him and what they could’ve been later. For now, she locked it up with all the other sorrows she refused to face. What was one more tear in an ocean of loss?
When Jo stepped into the spacious bedroom, Hayden looked frozen. He was sitting on the edge of his bed clutching his phone. The sheets they’d rumpled together lay strewn across his lap. One hand clutched the pale fabric so tightly his knuckles were white. The other hand held his phone just as forcefully.
She knew instantly something was wrong. Anger rippled off of Hayden in waves she could feel from halfway across the room. Jo’s heart longed to go to him, but her feet were rooted to the floor. “Hayden? What’s wrong?”
His words were like ice and he didn’t look up when he spoke them. “Who is Kai?”
The question caught Jo so off guard she had to remind herself to breathe. She pulled air into her lungs, but it somehow wasn’t enough. “What?” she whispered.
Hayden looked up at her this time, hate turning the blue oceans of his eye into a sea of churning icebergs. “I said, who the hell is Kai?”
Jo swallowed against the nothingness in her throat. Everything felt hollow, wrong, askew. It was as if she was listening to Hayden’s words through a thick glass wall. The easy, closeness that had been between them moments ago was gone, obliterated by a single word—Kai.
That had been the last thing she ever expected Hayden to ask. Their paths were never meant to cross. Kai and Hayden. Hayden and Kai. They were two halves of her heart, but they could never exist together. She’d been so careful to keep them separate.
“How?” she murmured. It didn’t really matter how he knew, but she couldn’t stop herself from asking.
He laughed. The sound was bitter and sharp—like splintering glass. “So, it’s true?”
Jo couldn’t respond. A million answers raced through her mind slicing her tongue like paper cuts until it was useless. Words refused to cooperate. She couldn’t say a thing, not faced with the hurt now etched across Hayden’s face.
“Do you love him?” he asked.
Finally her tongue loosened. “Hayden, let me explain.” She took a step toward him but as soon as she did, he stood up, his bitter laugh killing her words.
Hayden yanked on a pair of shorts, his eyes not meeting hers. “No need, Joy. I think I understand perfectly.”
“No. It’s not what you think.”
Hayden turned on her. “I think it’s quite clear that you have absolutely no idea what I think. If you did, you never would’ve come here tonight.”
“Hayden—”
“No, Joy. You were right. This was a mistake.” He raised his hand gripping the back of his neck as pain fi
lled his eyes. “But at least I never set out to hurt you.” His eyes met hers. “Can you say the same?”
When she didn’t respond, he stalked to the door, threw it open and stormed out.
The heavy hotel room door slammed in her face, echoing through the room. Jo stood there a moment in stunned silence. When she finally had the strength to open the door and go after him, she realized it was too late. She stared into the empty hall as cold regret slithered into her stomach.
Hayden was gone. And she had no one to blame but herself.
45
Hayden
Hayden walked until the sun came up, but it wasn’t nearly long enough to escape the harsh words he’d said to Joy. He was hurt and angry, but that didn’t excuse his behavior.
You make me so crazy, Joy.
That was twice now that he’d lost control of his emotions when it came to her. He was normally so in control. He’d trained himself to be a master of his own destiny. His mind, body and soul all obeyed his will. It’s what made him such an excellent athlete. He was always in command of himself—except when it came to Joy.
She sent all of his constraint out the window. She was like a live wire frying his circuit board. When he was with her he let his guard down and every part of him that ached for her love was unleashed. It overwhelmed him. At times it was good. When their hands and bodies did the communicating Hayden was grateful for the endless depths of his passion for Joy. But when she pulled away, when she threw rules and lies in his face . . . Well, then he didn’t welcome his depthless well of desire. Not when it left him with an ache so deep and unyielding that he lashed out, saying all kinds of foolish things that he didn’t mean.
Hayden had been hurt by the message about Kai and the way Joy didn’t deny that she loved him. But she said it wasn’t what he thought. What if it truly wasn’t? What if she was telling him he had a chance?
He hadn’t even let her explain. His pride had gotten in the way. But with a little distance between them, Hayden no longer gave a shit about his pride. If he had even the slimmest chance in hell to be with Joy, he would throw his pride away, permanently. He’d get down on his knees and beg if it meant he could spend more nights like last night with her.
The Summer Boyfriend Page 22
