From Sinner to Saint

by Jones, Janice

  As the trio turned from the front of the church to find seats, Antonyo spotted his mother and William coming up the aisle with Sheldon in tow. Shock was not a powerful enough word to describe Antonyo’s reaction to seeing his dad in church; not to mention the fact that he was hanging with his mom while she walked arm in arm with her man. What an odd vision.

  Keisha also noticed the handsome stranger walking with Ms. Simms and Mr. Rucker. Something about him seemed vaguely familiar, though she was sure she had never seen him before. Then she realized that the man looked like Antonyo. Perhaps he was Ms. Simms’s brother, which would account for the family resemblance.

  “Grandpa!” LaToya shouted just before she took off running toward the trio.

  “Grandpa?” Keisha said before she realized she had said it aloud. The gentleman was definitely too young to be Ms. Simms’s father, which would mean . . .

  “I’ll explain everything later. Come on. Let me introduce you to my father,” Antonyo told Keisha.

  The bug-eyed look he received was priceless. He smiled at the woman he loved—Whoa! Where did that come from? he thought. He led Keisha in the direction in which his daughter had sprinted.

  He and Keisha approached just as his father scooped La-Toya into his arms and proudly exclaimed, “I see your daddy has allowed you to call me Grandpa after all, huh, princess?” LaToya nodded her head in vigorous agreement.

  “Keisha, this is my father, Sheldon Emerson. Sheldon, this is Minister Keisha Hearn. She is the youth and young adult minister here at Trinity Star,” Antonyo introduced.

  “Hello, Mr. Emerson. It is nice to meet you.”

  “Hello, Minister. It is nice to meet you too.”

  “Well, we all better get to a seat before praise and worship gets started,” Trina directed. She, William, and Sheldon sat on one side of the church. Sheldon initially started to follow LaToya, Antonyo, and Keisha as they moved several rows up on the opposite side of the sanctuary; however, Trina cautioned him to give it a little time yet. She asked him not to overload Antonyo with his presence all at once.

  Pastor Adrian Mitchell, senior pastor of Trinity Star, preached a wonderful message on giving your whole life to Christ. The message was based on the scripture references of Philippians 4:13; John 4:13 and Romans 8:28. Pastor Mitchell’s message basically said that a person can do anything through Christ and nothing without Him. Pastor Mitchell even went so far as to state that even the sin a person commits can be used to benefit them and others and glorify Christ’s Kingdom. As long as they truly love the Lord, they can turn away in repentance and learn to depend solely on Him.

  Antonyo and Keisha were both very impressed with the message. The two did not speak a word to each other during the sermon. LaToya had fallen asleep nestled between the two, with her head comfortably resting in her father’s lap and her legs draped across Keisha’s lap.

  When Pastor extended the invitation to come to the altar in order for people to give their lives to Christ, Antonyo did not hesitate to remove his daughter from his person and gently give her to Minister Keisha. He strutted to the front of the sanctuary, making one of the most certain and sound decisions he had ever made in his life. Trina, William, and even Sheldon stood and applauded loudly as he walked the aisle. Keisha would have stood, too, had it not been for the baby resting in her lap.

  After service, the entire clan, including Sheldon and Keisha, got in their respective vehicles and went to Outback Steakhouse on Greenfield Road in Southfield to celebrate Antonyo’s remarkable step into his new future.

  “I cannot tell you enough how very proud I am of you, Antonyo. You have exasperated me into near psychosis worrying over you for the past several years, but I had complete faith that this day would come,” Trina beamed.

  “Man, trust me when I tell you, giving your life to Jesus is the best thing you can do for you, and even for little Miss LaToya there,” William stated. “Your decision today will bless your family for generations to come, just as you were blessed when your mother made the decision.”

  Sheldon spoke up as well. “They are right, Tony. When I got saved a few years ago, I felt an inner peace like none other I had ever known. I admit that I am still not where God wants me to be, but at least I know that He is still working on me, and at the end of this life, I have an eternal home with Him. Congratulations, Tony, on making your reservation for heaven today.”

  Not wanting to be left out of the conversation, LaToya chimed in. “Con-gra-cha-may-tens, Daddy.” Everyone laughed at the baby’s pronunciation.

  Antonyo had no idea that Sheldon was a Christian. Then again, how could he know? He had not seen nor heard from his father in ten years. Again, some of the anger and bitterness welled in him as he thought about his father’s absence from his life. He hoped that God would work that out of him soon. He also hoped that soon had nothing to do with when he would have to utilize that reservation Sheldon just spoke of.

  After dinner, the crew lingered over parking lot conversation for several minutes. Before getting in his car to leave, Sheldon thanked Antonyo for allowing LaToya to call him Grandpa, promising, seriously this time, as he put it, to call him up soon so they could really talk.

  Antonyo wasn’t sure if he should take Sheldon at his word. He decided he wouldn’t worry about it, though. He had done his part by starting the forgiving process. The rest was up to God.

  Trina kissed her son and granddaughter good-bye, letting Antonyo know she would be checking on him later that evening. Now, only LaToya, Antonyo and Keisha remained.

  “Keisha, I would really like to talk to you today, if that is at all possible. I have some really important news that I need to share with you.”

  Keisha looked into Antonyo’s eyes and saw humility, sincerity, and even a hint of fear. She assumed he wanted to talk more about his decision he’d made to get saved today. “Um, sure. Would you like me to follow you somewhere, or what?”

  “No. I have to drop LaToya off with her mother, and then, if it is okay with you, I would like to come to your place.” Antonyo thought this would be best. Once he told her the news about being HIV positive, he figured she would at least be at home and not having to drive anywhere with that on her heart.

  “Okay. I live on Lindsay, right off of Puritan.” She reached in her purse and grabbed a pad and pen to write down her address. She handed him the slip torn from the pad.

  Antonyo accepted the paper. “Thank you. I will call you when I am on my way.” He walked Keisha to her car and opened her door for her. Once she was securely in, he headed back to his vehicle to take LaToya home.

  When he arrived at Clarke and Greg’s, he carried his sleeping daughter to her bedroom. When he emerged, the couple stood waiting for him. “Tony, we just wanted you to know we were both tested the other day, and our preliminary results came back negative,” Clarke stated.

  Antonyo’s reaction was that of complete relief. The last thing he wanted was to have physically harmed Clarke, Greg, or LaToya with this disease. “That is great news, Clarke, great for both of you. I am so happy. Thank you, God.”

  Both Clarke and Greg were a little startled. They had never heard Antonyo publicly speak to God before.

  “Thank you, Tony,” Clarke said.

  “Don’t thank me. I’m just glad I did not cause you any damage with my mess. Look, I have to get going. Tell LaToya I will see her on Wednesday for our normal visit. Again, I’m happy for both of you.”

  On the drive to Keisha’s, Antonyo still basked in the relief of not having infected Clarke or Greg, and especially LaToya. This revelation also made him realize that more than likely, he had contracted the disease in the past three years—though there was no surefire way of knowing exactly when he got the disease, since he could have had it for many years. Until meeting Clarke, he had been very careful. After that, he really got lax.

  He thought hard, trying to remember all the females he’d slept with since he and Clarke split up. Of course, there was Lynn, but she alw
ays insisted on his wearing a condom. Crazy she might have been, but she did not play. In hindsight, he had to respect her tenacity in that area.

  There were so many others that he decided to concentrate on those who would be at the highest risk. That would include any of the females that were married, since he knew for a fact they were sleeping with at least one other person while sleeping with him.

  Claudia was married to an NBA player, and the whole world knew that sports figures were notorious for their infidelities. Then, of course, there was Jessica and the gay husband. She claimed she had stopped sleeping with him more than a year ago, but who’s to say that was the truth? Even if that were true, Scott had been having affairs with men even before he and Jessica were married. She could have been infected who knows how long ago. There were several others, and any one of them, or even more than one could be responsible for his current state of health.

  Antonyo picked up his cell phone and called Jessica. He had not spoken with her since she’d left his apartment angry. It would not have surprised him if she did not answer upon seeing his number on her caller ID. When she picked up, he was astonished.

  “Hello,” she said.

  “Jessica, I’m sure you know this is Tony. How are you?”

  “I’m cool, Tony. What about yourself?” Jessica responded flatly.

  “Well, Jess, I’m not really all that great. This may not be the appropriate way to inform you of this, but, Jessica, I just found out I am HIV positive.” There was dead silence for a long time. Antonyo had actually pulled in front of Keisha’s house and sat there waiting for Jessica to say something. “Jessica, are you there?”

  “Antonyo, I have to call you later.” She disconnected the call.

  Why did that phone call seem very odd to him? Most women would have had more of a reaction to finding out that a person they were recently sexually active with carried HIV. He knew calling her back would be futile, especially right now.

  He also realized there were a few more women he would have to contact in the very near future, but right now he had other things to attend to. So, he went about taking care of the business at hand: telling Keisha about his status.

  Antonyo rang the bell, and Keisha answered just seconds afterward. She’d changed from the outfit she wore to church into a comfy-looking royal blue velour two-piece jogging suit. She invited him into the spacious living room of the large two-story house.

  “Do you live here alone, Keisha?” Antonyo asked.

  “Yes. I know it’s big, but my grandmother left it to me when she passed away two years ago. Follow me. Let’s go back here into the family room. I’ll get you something to drink.”

  “I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother. You two must have been really close for her to leave her house to you.”

  “I was raised by my grandmother. My mother died when I was nine years old. I never knew my father, and had no brothers or sisters to call my own. It was basically just me and Grammy. She does have two other daughters who have children, so I do have some first cousins that I am pretty close to.

  “Make yourself comfortable on the couch. What would you like to drink?”

  “A glass of ice water would be perfect.” Antonyo took a seat on the leather sofa. “I take it that it was your grandmother who taught you about God?”

  Keisha returned from the kitchen, which was within earshot of the family room. She carried a glass of water with ice for Antonyo, and a glass of orange juice for herself. She sat on the sofa only a few inches away from Antonyo.

  “Yes, sir. My grandmother was very spiritual. She was a deacon at Trinity Star. She used to tell me when I was a little girl that I would be a preacher.”

  “I remember you telling us the story of how you first came to know God in the focus group. You said that your mother was sad about your great-grandmother’s death. You said that you were about eight at the time. So, you mean to tell me that your own mother passed away just a year later?”

  “Yes.” The one-word answer was a mixture of both melancholy and faith. Antonyo pressed her no further. The last thing he wanted to do was make her very sad before sharing his crazy news with her.

  As if picking up on an unspoken cue, Keisha asked, “So, what did you want us to talk about, Antonyo?”

  Never before in his life had he been this nervous about talking to a female. When he told Clarke about his status, he held no fear or shame. Even when he announced it to Jessica, there was no anxiety present. Now he trembled from the inside out. He shook so badly that the ice in his glass clanked. Keisha took notice and moved a little closer to him. She began gently rubbing his arm, incorrectly assuming it was his shoulder injury that caused him to shake.

  “Are you hurting, Antonyo?” He shook his head, still unable to speak.

  Keisha had never seen this suave and charismatic man so unnerved. If it was not shoulder pain, she wondered what in the world had him so fretful.

  Antonyo took a large swallow from his water glass. He then took some deep breath and proceeded to let Keisha know why he’d requested today’s visit. “Keisha, you are a beautiful woman of God, inside and out. As such, I’m sure He has made you aware of how I feel about you by now.” Keisha turned away in a deep blush, but Antonyo forged ahead before he lost his nerve again.

  “You are the first woman I have met in my entire life that I wanted to settle down with and try having a normal relationship. I realized just the other day that I have actually fallen in love with you.”

  The bug-eyed stare that had become signature to Keisha surfaced once again. Her heart flipped so hard she was sure Antonyo could hear it as it thudded against her chest from the inside.

  “Antonyo, are you sure—”

  He cut her off before she could continue with her entire question. “Keisha, I don’t mean to be rude, but I have to finish what I have to say before I can allow you to reply. I need you to know everything before you start telling me that you feel the same way about me.”

  Antonyo’s ability to read her mind astounded her. One day in the near future, she would ask him how he did it. She kept her mouth closed, however, and waited for him to finish.

  “While I was in the hospital . . .” Antonyo took a deep breath and blew it out through his mouth slowly. He closed his eyes and counted to three; then he continued without reopening his eyes. “When I was in the hospital, I discovered I am HIV positive.” Finally, he opened his eyes again, prepared to see Keisha with her signature look. What he saw, however, was something else totally. He saw no fear or judgment, simply empathy and concern for his well-being.

  “Oh, Antonyo,” she said softly. She reached out to hug him. “You must have been terrified when you found out.”

  Now it was Antonyo who stared bug-eyed. She obviously had not heard him correctly. He pulled away from the embrace and asked, “Keisha, did you hear me? I don’t have Swine Flu or some other curable disease. I am HIV positive. And as of right now, it is a definite death sentence.” For some odd reason, Antonyo became a little offended by her cavalier attitude in regards to his announcement.

  Keisha recognized Antonyo’s aggressive tone. She had become quite familiar with it, since she worked quite closely with young adults who were HIV positive. She had been a volunteer with the state health clinic since she was twenty-one years old. Her own mother died of AIDS as a result of a bad blood transfusion after a car accident. Keisha had become well versed on the subject of HIV over the years.

  “I heard you, Antonyo. I also understand very clearly what you are dealing with. You expected me to become frightened when you told me, but I’m not.” She then went on to describe her experience with the disease.

  “Your mom died from this?” he asked, astounded.

  “Yes. That was eighteen years ago. Medical research has come a long way since then. People are living much longer now with the virus before it progresses into AIDS. As a matter of fact, I have only known one person to die from this disease since I started working at the clinic, and s
he had the full-blown disease when I met her. One other person that I met there has since died, but he was killed in the commission of an armed robbery. Medication can help you to live a pretty normal life, even with this virus.”

  Antonyo stared at Keisha for several long seconds. Then it hit him hard and strong: Meeting Keisha more than four years ago had been part of God’s purpose for his life, knowing that he would eventually find himself HIV positive. He had prepared Keisha for him and this time in his life. With the realization came very strong emotions. He covered his face with his hands just as the first tear spilled onto his cheeks. Everything that his mother had been telling him about God loving him, despite his mistakes and lifestyle, had been made so clear at that very second. He sat there on Keisha’s sofa, weeping and praising God aloud.

  “Thank you, God. Thank you, God,” he said over and over again.

  Keisha knew better than to interrupt a man when he was in full, sincere praise mode. She let him spill his heart to God in worship and surrender, even though she was anxious to hear him say again that he was in love with her. Keisha had been attracted to Antonyo since the very first time his mother introduced the two in church. That was four years ago. Yes, his HIV status did concern her, but she’d been trained very well on how to handle herself and how to be careful. There would definitely be no sex between them unless this thing, whatever it was, progressed into marriage. For now, though, she wanted to help take care of her friend, who she just so happened to be in love with.

  “Keisha, do you know the only other woman who has ever seen me cry in my adult life has been my mother?” Antonyo admitted when he was again able to pull himself together.

  “Should I be flattered?” she asked playfully.

  “Of course, woman. It is a rare privilege to see Antonyo Ian Demonté Simms express such true emotions,” he replied in mock exasperation.

  “Speaking of true emotions, what was that you said a few moments ago? Something about how you . . . feel about me?”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I was under emotional duress, so I cannot be held responsible for anything I said during that time.”