The Stage (Phoenix Rising #1)

by Shelby Rebecca

  He rolls to his side and adjusts himself in his pants, his obvious arousal still present. For some reason, that pisses me off. Is this some type of atonement where he makes amends for all the women he’s used? “Mia?” he asks, his voice holding a tiny bit of panic behind his normal bravado.

  “I can’t.” I get up to walk out and he grabs my arm.

  “No,” he says. “Talk to me.”

  “I—umm.”

  “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” he questions, his eyebrows furrowed.

  “No. It’s just—that’s never happened before.” My eyes find a spot on my boot to inspect while I feel a blush come onto my cheeks.

  “What?” and then his expression changes from frustration to one of knowing.

  “Never, ever? Or just never with a guy before?” he clarifies.

  “Never with a guy before.”

  “I see.” His finger plays with the inside of my palm. “That’s how it should be. Me, only me.” His proximity is like a drug. His voice is soft but buzzing with energy, his eyes afire with need. He licks his bottom lip and then bites into it gently.

  He’s too much. It’s not his fault, this time, but I’m way out of my league. Out of embarrassment, I kiss his cheek and pull my hand away from his so I can walk away. “I just need a minute alone,” I explain.

  He says my name as I close the door. I cross my arms as I walk toward the studio. Knowing I can’t go in there, I take off toward another door. I mean, there has to be somewhere to hide until I have to go home. As I walk, looking for somewhere to gather my thoughts, I wonder how that changed us. We’ve crossed a line we can’t uncross.

  It’s not like he took. He gave; he only gave. Like a gift without asking for anything in return—like everything else he’s done for me. I want to call a truce. With the end of the round upon us and the taped rounds starting next week, we’re about to head into our long break between the taped and live rounds. Riley and I have to go back to Sacramento, get back to our regular lives for a little while. I wonder what Kolton’s going to do about us leaving.

  I find a restroom inside to clean up. My make-up is smeared and the back of my hair looks rumpled and sexed. I smooth it and get rid of the smears of gunk under my eyes. My panties are, well, soaked, so I go in the stall and take them off. After I put myself back together, I hide them in the front pocket of my little blazer. When I go back toward the stage, Kolton’s sitting at the coaches table. When he sees me, at first there’s relief, then his jaw tightens and he looks away. He’s mad at me for running off again.

  Tarise, the Whitney Houston wannabe, is battling Blaire, my old roomy. I sit down where they let the contestants watch the rounds. All the while, Kolton is keeping his eye on me. I clap when Blaire wins. As they’re gearing up for the next battle, Brianna comes over and sits next to me.

  “Hey,” I say.

  “Congrats,” she squeals and hugs me.

  “Thanks! When’s your turn?” I ask.

  “I went already,” she says, but her body language says it all.

  “Who’d you go against?”

  “That Goth guy, Leo. He did awesome.” She always was so low key about this whole thing. “I mean. I’m a little sad not to make it on the live shows, but that’s how it goes.” She shrugs her shoulders.

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “But, hey, you promised me a night out. A whole bunch of us are going tonight since it’s our last chance.”

  “Oh, that’s right. I did.” I don’t really want to go but it beats going home and pining away over Kolton again.

  “So, we’re chipping in for a limo. It’s picking us up at the hotel. Can you meet me there at, like, nine-thirty?”

  “Okay. I can do that.” When I look up, Kolton is staring at me. He’d better knock it off or people are going to start to notice. Joyce, standing up in the corner, is talking into her headset. Then the PA, Amy, comes and stands so she’s blocking Kolton’s view of me.

  Smart, Joyce. Smart.

  “Don’t change your hair or make-up,” she says. “You look like you just-had-sex hot!”

  “I do?” I ask, trying to calm my hair in the back.

  “Ummm—yeah. Come up to my room, though. I have this dress I want to loan you. Swipe those boots. They’re fucking hot.”

  “Okay.” I’m smiling as she stands.

  “Room 214,” she says, before running off to invite more people. I look around for Riley and Deloris. They’re sitting in the higher seats and Riley looks a little bored. After the next battle, I go to her.

  “I’m leaving, chickie, if you guys wanna ride, come with me.” She yawns and nods.

  “You don’t have anything else to do?” Deloris asks, “I drove over in my car.”

  “Okay. No problem. You guys can go now and I’ll just tie up a few things here and meet you back home.”

  “Sounds good,” she says. I hug Riley and watch them leave. From here, I can see Kolton, but he can’t see me. He’s looking around, trying to find me, I think. I feel a little bad about how I left him in the trailer. Not a little bad, a lot bad. Then I get an idea.

  But how can I do it without anyone seeing? If I wait until his next break, I can follow him and do it then. I watch two more battles, and the winners are really good. Some of these people, I haven’t ever heard sing before.

  “Cut. We need five. Then we’ll be done for the day,” one of the producers on the floor says.

  Kolton gets up and starts walking toward stage left. I follow, but not close behind him. He turns a corner, and then another. When I get there, he’s nowhere to be seen. I shake my head in disbelief when suddenly, a door opens, he grabs me by the arm and ushers me inside a small room with him. It’s dark and we’re alone.

  “I have something for you,” I try.

  “You can’t run away from me like that. You’re always running.”

  “Here,” I say, taking the panties out of my front pocket. He reaches for them, turns them over in his hand and opens them. He bites his lip and smiles, the one meant just for me. He puts them to his nose and takes a deep, appreciative breath. “It’s a white flag,” I say, shocked he just did that. “I’m calling a truce.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means I needed a minute to process what we’d just done.”

  “I’ve never known anyone like you,” he says. “Most girls are—”

  “Uh, I’d rather not hear about—”

  “You’re right.” He puts his hands up. “I was trying to show you how much I’m changing. Then I piss you off doing it.”

  “I’m not pissed. I—”

  “I’m not going to touch you again like that, Mia.” His eyes sparkle at me in the dim light. “You running away from me proves you need more time.”

  “I think I was embarrassed.”

  “I know. Let’s talk about it more tonight.”

  “I can’t. I’m going out with some of the others from the show tonight.”

  “No, you’re not,” he says, pushing me toward the wall and pinning me with his arms on either side of my face.

  “Yes. I. Am.” I stick my chin up in defiance. “You can’t tell me what to do.”

  “Like hell I can’t. It’s not safe.”

  “Why not? You’re paranoid. No one knows about us. We’re renting a limo.”

  “You’re all over the promos for the show. You’re going to be recognized. All of you.”

  “It’s going to be fun.” I pout, genuinely. I mean, come on.

  “You’re not even twenty-one,” he says.

  “A lot of us aren’t,” I say in my own defense.

  “Fuck!” He moves away from me and starts to pace like a caged animal. “I—just don’t want you to go.”

  “Well, I’m going. That’s it.” My arms are crossed now. I feel the line between my eyebrows deepening and my bottom lip pressing into the upper one.

  “Manny needs to come with you.”

  “I’m not bringing him with me to the cl
ub. No, that’s not happening. You don’t even make sense.”

  “What club?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Mia, tell me the truth.”

  “Is this how you’re going to be now? I mean, I’m not even your girlfriend.”

  “Girlfriend? No, you’re not my girlfriend. You’re my everything, Mia.” Holy shit. It’s like the air got sucked out of the room.

  “That’s not fair,” I say, before putting my hand on the doorknob.

  “I’ve never—” he says, grabbing me by my upper arm, removing my grasp on the doorknob.

  “What, Kolton?”

  “Felt this way before, possessive and out of control. It’s like I’m ten steps ahead of you, waiting for you to catch up.”

  “Kolton, I—”

  “Are you ever going to catch up?” The look on his face is heartbreaking. It’s the same way he looked in front of the elevator and, again, when he was leaving the bathroom after I’d fixed his cut. It hurts my heart.

  “I’m right beside you, okay?” I say and put my arms around his narrow waist. “I’m sorry.” I feel some of the tension in his body release as I hold him.

  “I don’t think I’m handling this right. I don’t know what to do,” he admits, smoothing my hair out of my face. “Will you be patient with me?” I nod and get on my tip toes to kiss his chin. “Bring the phone I gave you. Don’t argue with me on that; it’ll make me feel better.”

  “Okay.” I can do that.

  “Okay?” He confirms. I nod again and he lifts the panties up.

  “This is seriously fucking hot.” That smile of his; it does me in.

  “I know. I can tell,” I say. “You’re lucky your jeans are kinda tight or people would start wondering.” He chuckles and adjusts himself.

  “I’m starting to get used to it. It’s like a dull ache; how your heart feels when you can’t be with someone you love.”

  Love?

  “How do you know that feeling?”

  “All my life, you know?” I realize, he means his parents. I nuzzle his chin with my lips and pull back. He tensed up in my arms.

  “You’d better go or they’re going to start looking for you.” He nods and leans down, kisses me lightly, and goes out the door.

  I’m kinda proud. I handled that pretty well. He left a little bit happier than he came in. Didn’t he?

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  The Club

  “Mia! That dress is seriously hot!” Brianna says. It’s a low-cut, heavy metallic dress that comes to about mid-thigh on me. I’m turning from side to side in the mirror, trying to talk myself into actually wearing it. The boots do look good with it, but it’s borderline slutty.

  “Where are we going, anyway?” I ask idly, but curious.

  “This cool eighteen and up club called Florentine Gardens. Your legs are so fucking long, girl.”

  “They are not!” I brush her off. I mean, they are, but I got teased a lot when I was a kid, so I hate it when they’re pointed out. The term ‘Daddy Long Legs’ starts ringing in my ears, and I want to pop someone in the nose. “Who else is coming?”

  “In the limo? Jessie, Tarise, Sam, Kendra, Alexia, Kimber—”

  “She’s going to be in the limo with us? Her and Tarise?” I say turning around in defiance.

  “Yeah, I mean. They’re pretty cool.”

  “To you, they are.” I sit down on the bed, pressing my knees together and sticking my ankles out. “They hate me.”

  “They’re jealous, Mia. It’s so obvious what’s going on with you and Kolton.”

  I don’t say anything; I’m not going to lie to her. She’s the nicest person I know here. But I’m not going to admit anything, either. “I’m not cheating.” It comes out as a whisper, a plea to be believed by my only friend on the island of The Stage.

  “They think he’s in love with you.” Is it that obvious? “Even though they put in that decoy, we all know you were in his car, Mia.”

  “What decoy?”

  “They ushered you in the elevator under the blanket. Another brunette came down the elevator a few hours later and left in his car.” I didn’t know about that, pretty smart, actually.

  “I got lost. He came to pick me up.” Fuck! Why did I just admit to that? It’s like all the lies and secrets are a huge knot in my gut. One was bound to escape.

  “I think—well, I think it’s kinda beautiful.” When I look up, her features are soft and kind. “He’s a bad, bad boy, though. Just be careful.” Yeah. That’s the understatement of the year. Then the door opens and everyone comes rushing in. I’m surprised to see one extra person.

  “Kenny? I thought you went back home.”

  “N—n—nope!” he says. “I’m working w—w—with a producer here.” He’s beaming and he’s a nice looking kid, especially when he smiles.

  “Already?”

  “M—m—mom’s pretty p—p—persistent.” I smile, really big, for the first time in a while. I’m glad to see him. He’s a nice guy—I just hope Kolton doesn’t get word of it. I purposely ignore Kimber and Tarise’s duck face lips and cocked eyebrows cast in my direction. Fuck them. I stand up on my too tall legs and watch them turn into little green monster duck-faced bitches. Kenny can’t hide his eyes, either. He’s looking at the girls in action up top, but I don’t care. I’m going out. I never get to just go out. I always have to sing. Tonight I’m going to have some fun.

  * * *

  Brianna convinced me not to bring my huge bag so I’ve tucked Kolton’s phone in my boot and my ID and debit card in my bra. “We’re on the guest list,” she says to the broad-chested bouncer in the bright yellow shirt. His eyebrow comes up when I take my ID out of my bra and hand it to him.

  “Mia Phoenix? Wait? You’re that one girl from that new singing show?” he asks.

  “Yep,” I say. This is weird. Really weird.

  “You’re an amazing singer! I’m really looking forward to the show!” I nod as he waves me in. Brianna waited for me and I want to ditch everyone else, so I grab her arm and enter the red dragon colored room. The music is like a pulse and the crowd is young. They’ve got glow bracelets and necklaces and are hopping around under a disco ball. Yes! A real disco ball.

  The last time I’ve been in a place with one of those was a roller rink when they turned off the lights. The feeling of flying around soft corners of the slick track, so fast, with lights touching my skin and my friend Kaya close behind. It reminds me of that and of how much I miss Kaya. I don’t care who sees. I run into the crowd and pull Brianna with me. My arms are in the air and I’m hopping, too.

  My eyes are closed as I feel the pulse of a song I’ve never heard before. Then, the DJ changes songs. I hear Kolton’s voice as it’s mixed and scratched. Can’t I get away from him for ten freaking minutes? It’s Riley’s favorite song, the one about the tiger. I always forget the name. But the words. The words. Today it’s like I’m hearing them for the first time.

  When the hunter becomes the prey

  They all want it, I have to say

  It’s all I know and all I show

  I don’t even have to ask

  They do this dirty dance

  When the hunter becomes the prey

  ’Cause I’m the tiger

  And I’m not gonna fight her off

  ‘Cause I’m a tiger

  I’m ’ma rip them off

  ’Cause I’m a tiger

  For the first time, I really listened to the song. And it’s sad, I think; sexy, but sad. I wonder, does he rip their clothes off, or does he steal from them? Use them? Like, rip them off for their affection? Na, I’m thinking about it too much. I look around and Brianna’s gone.

  ’Cause I’m the tiger

  And I’m not gonna fight her off

  ’Cause I’m a tiger

  I’m ’ma rip them off

  ’Cause I’m a tiger

  I want to sit down; I don’t feel like dancing anymore. I’m a moody little bitch these days an
d it’s all his fault, isn’t it? No. That’s not fair. He brings out feelings in me I’d rather not deal with. And I know that what I’m most afraid of is loving him and then losing him. It’s happened so much in the last year; I don’t think I could take it one more time.

  I walk toward the bar inside the bright red nook and sit at the stool. I order a water and have to use my card since I left my cash in Brianna’s room.

  “Marilyn Monroe was discovered here,” a voice says, up to my ear. I pull away and turn around. A tall, twenty-something in a T-shirt and jeans is standing behind me. “I’m Todd,” he yells above Kolton’s voice as it reaches into my soul and makes my insides cry like the day is long.

  “Mia,” I say, reaching my hand out to shake his.

  “You’re going to like this,” he says, as he drops something wet into my palm. I can’t even see how he did it. It happened so fast and then he’s just gone. I wipe my hands together and sniff it. It smells like nothing. I get rid of the rest on the metallic dress and walk over to an empty spot on a purple couch set up against the wall. Gross, I think.

  Kolton’s voice says, “And the hunter, hunter, hunter becomes the prey.”

  I’ve always loved the way he can drag out a note. How his voice caresses each word and makes it soft and then hard coming out of his mouth. I have to clench my thighs together. Even before I met him, his voice has always done things to me. I’m thankful when another song comes on, I recognize it, but can’t remember the name. And they’re doing a club remix I’m not sure helps or hurts my memory of it. Just as that song’s ending, I have to blink long and hard. The lights are blurring together really weird.

  I stand and put my hand against the wall. Earthquake?

  Why is no one running? The lights pound like the music. They weren’t doing that before. I want to leave. Where’s Brianna?

  I feel like I’m in that maze dream. I’m running through what I can’t see. I smell fire and smoke burns my eyes, my nose. My lungs squeeze and cough.

  A hand grabs mine. Kenny’s voice. “—K—k—kissed you,” he says, and he looks very sorry about something I can’t place.