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His to Possess

Page 20

by Opal Carew


  Watching Dane punish her had been hard, but at the same time, it had turned him on immensely. So much so, that when she’d come to talk to him in the middle of the night, and he had taken control, he’d actually beaten her. His hands clenched into fists. He’d been a fucking idiot. Acting on hormones rather than compassion. As much as she said she’d liked it, he knew he’d gotten carried away. The angry redness of her skin had shocked him back to reality. How could he have allowed himself to hurt her like that?

  His cell phone buzzed and he pulled it from his pocket.

  “There is a Ms. Jessica Long here to see you, Mr. Ranier. Shall I send her up?”

  Fuck. He really didn’t want to face her right now.

  “Yeah, Benjamin. Go ahead.”

  He walked to the bedroom and grabbed a T-shirt from his dresser drawer and pulled it on. His jeans were worn and threadbare in places, but they were comfortable and he knew she was used to seeing him dressed this way. In fact, she preferred it to his more expensive in-line-with-their-family-status clothing he now typically wore. At least, as Rafe Ranier. As Storm, he wore whatever the hell he wanted and didn’t give a shit what anyone else thought.

  A knock sounded at the door, so he headed toward it and pulled it open.

  The sight of Jess standing there, her pretty face drawn into a tight expression, clearly distraught, was like a punch in the gut.

  Was she upset that he’d walked out this morning? Or was it about their midnight dominance session?

  “Come in.”

  She followed him into the living room, and they sat down on the couch together.

  “What’s wrong, Jess?”

  She gazed at him and he could see the turmoil in her eyes. “I quit my job.”

  He frowned. “But I thought you loved working for Dane.” Ah, fuck. “Is this about last night? Did our … escapade make things too awkward in the office?”

  “No. Nothing like that. It’s because…” She sucked in a breath. “Dane fired Melanie.”

  Shock careened through him. “What? Why?”

  She shook her head. “I don’t know. He wouldn’t tell me.”

  Rafe understood that. The reason an employee was fired was a privacy issue. But what possible grounds could Dane have for firing Melanie? She was an exceptional secretary.

  “Don’t worry. I’ll talk to him. I’m sure we can get this all sorted out.”

  “I don’t know. It’s a pretty big mess.” She folded her hands in her lap. “I hope you can get Melanie’s job back, but mine…” She shook her head. “I don’t think that will work.”

  “Why? What else is going on, Jess?”

  “I just…” She sucked in a breath. “I couldn’t believe Dane would do this. And when I confronted him, he broke it off between the two of us. He said our physical relationship was interfering with business.”

  She and Dane had broken up? He knew he should be happy about that, but he wasn’t. Probably because deep inside he knew how much she loved Dane. Even while Dane took charge of her in the bedroom, there was a tenderness in his eyes when he looked at her. Rafe had no doubt that his brother was in love with this woman.

  He rested his hand on her arm. “Jess, I’m sorry.”

  She shook her head. “No, it’s good. It’s better I find out now that he’s a heartless bastard.” She drew in a breath that he was sure was staving off a sob. “And that I’m nothing more to him than a lay.”

  Rafe stroked her cheek. “I’m sure that isn’t true.”

  “I don’t want to talk about Dane right now.” She took his hand. “I think we should talk about last night. Since you were gone before I woke up this morning, I assume you had a problem with what happened. Were you jealous of me with Dane? Or,”—she gazed at him questioningly—“were you judging me for the fact I enjoyed being dominated and punished?”

  Her words were like a kick in the gut.

  “I wasn’t judging you. It’s just that…” Damn it. He pushed himself to his feet and paced. “It made me damned uncomfortable.” He turned to face her. “My father was a real ass. He wasn’t just authoritative, he was abusive. He beat me regularly.”

  Her eyes widened. “Oh, my God. That’s awful.”

  He nodded as he continued to pace. “Not Dane, though. Dane was more the son the old man wanted.” He shrugged. “Maybe part of it was, he had no use for a second son. Dane could take over the business, and I…” He shrugged again. “I was just more effort. If he could have found a way to send me off to foster care without it reflecting badly on the family, he probably would have done it. Instead, he kept me around, but made it clear to me that I’d better not embarrass the family by not being a Ranier. I had better fall in line and be an appropriate partner in the family business.”

  “I’m so sorry, Rafe.” She stood up and wrapped her arms around him.

  He enjoyed the warmth and acceptance of her embrace. She always made him feel loved, something he’d never really had before. He realized that that’s why he’d run away from their relationship to go on tour. Because it scared him. And that’s also why he’d run back. Because he didn’t want to be without it.

  She raised her lips to his and kissed him, her mouth soft and inviting. He felt her fingertips gliding under his T-shirt and over his abs. She started to pull the fabric up and his body ached for the intimacy her actions promised, but he grasped her hands to stop her.

  “No, I can’t,” he said.

  She gazed at him in shock. “Why not?”

  “Because. It’s not fair to you.”

  “What do you mean?”

  He drew away from her warm, inviting body. “I can’t do this because I know there’s no future for us. I was wrong. We aren’t meant to be together.”

  “Because I like to be dominated?”

  “That’s part of it. Dane can give you what you want in that department, but I can’t.”

  “Rafe, that doesn’t matter.” She tried to touch him again but he stepped out of reach.

  “It does matter. I can’t allow myself to open that door. My dad was an abuser and…” He shrugged. “I can’t go down that path. Dane has a lot of control, but I … I don’t trust what might happen.”

  She shook her head. “No. You would never go too far.”

  “Do you think my father logically thought, ‘Ah, I’m going to beat my son today’? Or do you think he just lost control and did it?” He stepped toward her and her eyes widened. With anger fuming through him, she must feel intimidated. “Like I did last night.”

  “No, you had just—”

  “Had a drink? My father was often drunk when he beat me.”

  “I think your father was a monster and I know you aren’t. You would never really hurt me.”

  He compressed his lips. “Well, that’s where you’re wrong. Because what I’m about to do will probably hurt quite a bit.”

  She gazed at him in shock.

  “Because right now I’m telling you that we’re through. I realized that I’m not really in love with you.” He paced across the room. “I haven’t had a lot of affection or love in my life, and when you showed me so much love,”—he shrugged—“I cherished it. Then when I lost it, I realized I couldn’t bear my life without it.” He patted his chest. “It filled a hole deep in here. But I realize, now, that it wasn’t love. Let’s face it. Neither of us really knew each other. You only knew a small part of who I am. And I had no idea that you liked to be dominated in the bedroom. And don’t tell me it’s not important to you because I know it is. But it makes us … incompatible.” He sighed. “I don’t want to hurt you. But just like last time, if I don’t take action now, it’ll only hurt more when we finally both discover that we’re just not right for each other.”

  He took her hand, his heart aching at the tears swelling in her eyes. “Besides, I know that you love Dane.”

  Anger flashed in her eyes, and she tugged her hand free. “No, I don’t.” She glared at him. “If you want to break up with me, at least be m
an enough to do it without trying to look like you’re doing me a favor. You don’t love me. I get it.”

  She turned and strode toward the entrance.

  “Jess, wait.”

  But she disappeared out the door. Damn, that hadn’t gone well.

  * * *

  Jessica marched through the lobby and the doorman pulled open the door for her.

  “Ms. Long,” he said as she exited the building, “Mr. Ranier called down and asked me to arrange a ride for you. His limo is waiting just over there.”

  She glanced to where he pointed to see the familiar long, black car. It had only taken her five minutes to get down here. Did this guy just drive around waiting for one of the Ranier brothers to call?

  The driver opened the door for her and she hesitated only a moment before she got in.

  “I’m heading home,” she said.

  He knew the address. She settled into the comfortable seat as the car moved into traffic, then her tears started to flow. She’d been rejected by two men today. Both of whom had proclaimed their love in the past. And she had no job. Her closest friend had shut her out. Her whole life was crumbling around her.

  When they arrived at her apartment, the driver opened her door, then hurried ahead of her and opened the door to the building.

  “Thank you,” she said, aware of her tearstained cheeks.

  He nodded. “Of course, Ms. Long.”

  The compassion in his warm smile boosted her spirits a little and she walked to the elevator. She sucked in a breath as she rode upstairs, trying to regain her composure. Melanie had been fired today and now was the time to focus on getting her friend to open up so she could help her, not wallowing in her own problems.

  She opened the door to their apartment, not sure what to expect on the other side. Certainly not what she saw. Melanie sat on the couch with nail polishes laid out on the table in front of her, mostly in bright, fluorescent colors. She had her nails partially painted with three vertical stripes of different colors and she was currently using a striping brush to add a vivid orange stripe to each nail.

  “Just Give Me a Reason” by Pink was playing in the background. The phrase “nothing is as bad as it seems” echoed through their cozy little apartment and boosted her spirits the slightest bit.

  Melanie glanced up. “Oh, hi. You’re home early.”

  Jessica did not want to explain that she’d quit. Not yet.

  “I wanted to check on you.”

  On the end table beside Melanie was a tall glass of cola and an open box.

  “Donuts, Melanie?”

  Melanie grabbed one and waved it at Jessica. “Don’t judge me.”

  “Judge you?” She walked toward the box and grabbed one of the chocolate glazed donuts. “I want to join you.”

  Melanie laughed and set the donut on the table, then continued painting the stripes on her nails. Jessica took a bite of her donut and enjoyed the rich burst of chocolate flavor. Then she hummed along to the song, something about not being broken, just bent, and learning to love again. It spoke to her current situation perfectly.

  “That’s some manicure you’ve got going there,” Jessica said as Melanie added a startling yellow stripe to her nails.

  Melanie grinned. “It’s not finished yet.” Then she picked up a bottle of black polish and rolled it between her hands. Melanie had once told her that shaking a polish could introduce bubbles, so it was better to roll it like that. “Now I’m going to put a black crackle on top. I think it’ll look quite dramatic.” She nodded toward the bottles. “Grab some polish and do yours, too.”

  “Nope.” Jessica settled back, donut in hand. “I’m just going to relax.”

  Melanie had applied the black polish to four nails so far and faint cracks were already appearing on some of them.

  “So, Melanie, what happened this morning? Why did Dane fire you?”

  Melanie inspected the hand she’d just finished and then started on the other one.

  “I mean, I know he has no grounds on which to fire you,” Jessica continued, “so we must be able to fight it.”

  Melanie frowned and for the first time, Jessica wondered if she was wrong. Had Melanie done something? Everyone made mistakes sometimes, but Jessica couldn’t possibly figure out what Melanie could have done to deserve firing.

  “I don’t want to fight it.”

  “I know it would be awkward coming back to work for Dane,” Jessica said, “but Ranier Industries is a big company. I’m sure they could find something else for you so you wouldn’t have to work for him directly.”

  Melanie sighed and put a last swipe of polish on her nails, then put the cap back on the polish bottle.

  “Dane already suggested that. I said no.”

  “What? I don’t understand.”

  Melanie settled back on the couch. “This morning, I went into Dane’s office to quit.”

  “Why did you want to quit?” As soon as she’d asked the question, Jessica wished she could take it back. It had to be because of the relationship between Rafe and Jessica.

  Melanie frowned. “You know I don’t begrudge you the fact that you and Rafe fell in love, but…”—she glanced down at her hands—“it’s hard to watch. I’m happy for you and all, and when you get married, I still want to be your friend, but…” She gazed Jessica’s way again. “I guess I always held hope that Rafe would eventually notice me and that we could somehow get past the whole boss-secretary thing and … I don’t know … maybe my dream would come true. But I know now that it will never happen, and I don’t want to hang around and watch that dream being torn away from me.”

  Jessica placed her hand over her heart. “I’m so sorry, Melanie. I knew—”

  “Please don’t be.” Melanie smiled. “I didn’t say it was logical, and I don’t blame you for any of this. In fact, I didn’t even realize I was harboring such insane feelings, but when I saw that you had won Rafe’s heart and I didn’t stand a chance, I realized I’d been letting that subconscious hope stop me from moving on with my life.”

  “How did that all translate to Dane firing you?”

  “It turns out he already knew I had feelings for Rafe. Did you tell him?”

  “No, I would never do that.”

  Melanie nodded. “Anyway, we both knew that no matter what I told Rafe about why I was leaving, he’d do everything he could to talk me into staying. He’d probably better any offer I might have received elsewhere and I’d find myself in an awkward position. Dane suggested that he’d just tell Rafe he laid me off. I wasn’t comfortable with that, because you know that would cause huge problems between them, but … damn it, I was upset and things were complicated, and so Dane told me not to worry about it and to just go home and we’d figure it out. But I know I can’t let him do that. It would cause too many problems. I’ll just have to figure something else out.”

  Jessica bit her lip. “It’s too late.”

  Melanie stared at her. “What do you mean?”

  “I’ve already told Rafe. I confronted Dane right after you left and asked if he fired you, and he said he did. I then went over to Rafe’s, hoping he could get your job back.”

  Her eyes widened. “Oh, no. I’ll have to call and talk to him. Straighten this out. But what do I say?”

  Jessica shook her head. “No, it’s not your fault this all blew up. I’ll talk to Rafe about this. I think I can fix it.” She gazed at her friend. “I need to ask, though. If Rafe and I weren’t involved, would it make a difference?”

  “No. I’d just wind up back where I was before, wishing for something I can’t have. I really need to move forward.”

  Jessica nodded. She stood up, and headed toward the door, but then hesitated and turned around again. “Melanie, I know you don’t want to hear it, but I’m sorry I caused you all this heartache. And even though it won’t make a difference, I just want you to know that Rafe broke up with me.”

  Melanie’s jaw dropped open. “Really? But he was so in love with you
. Did it have anything to do with the threesome?”

  Jessica’s cheeks flushed. “You knew about that?”

  “I wasn’t supposed to, but Rafe’s door was open when he and Mr. Ranier were talking yesterday afternoon and I heard just enough to get a gist of what they were planning. I also got the idea that you and Mr. Ranier do some dominance stuff.” She smiled. “You know, sometimes I really wish I were you. Two hot guys ordering you to do unspeakably sexy things. I wish.”

  “Yeah, but Rafe didn’t like the dominance and punishment. He’s really uncomfortable with it.”

  Melanie nodded. “So is that why he broke it off?”

  “That was part of it, but he also realized that he was never actually in love with me. I think he just wanted to be in love with someone, and I was there when he needed someone most. I also think he’s a little lost right now and needs to figure himself out before he can really connect with someone else.”

  “I’m sorry, Jessica. I know it must hurt. But at least now you can focus on your relationship with Mr. Ranier. Maybe it will develop into something deeper.”

  Jessica shook her head. “Afraid not. Dane broke it off with me, too.”

  “Oh, my God, girl. Your day has been even worse than mine. Get over here. We’re doing your nails.”

  * * *

  Jessica stood in front of Rafe’s apartment door for the second time today, her stomach fluttering. He opened the door, then tipped his head and smiled, showing his straight white teeth in a beaming smile. The one that always managed to melt her heart.

  “I see you’ve decided to forgive me after all.” He stood there looking exceptionally masculine, in his jeans, his chest bare and his hair damp. Whether he’d been for a swim or a late morning shower she didn’t know.

  She followed him into the living room and sat down.

  “I’m glad you came back. I didn’t want to leave things the way they were.” He patted the moth tattoo on his shoulder. “I want you to understand that this still means something. I will always be there for you. I know you’re mad at Dane right now, and frankly, so am I, but I’ll sort this mess out with Melanie.”

  “I’m not mad at him.”

 

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