Deceptions Revealed

by Lillith Payne

  “If you have time in the afternoon, drop by the shop. We can firm up plans for Saturday night, and Danny can say hello.”

  “Fair enough. I’ll be here until the morning if you want to talk.”

  “Night, James. We’ll see you next weekend.”

  * * * *

  James drove to Hunter Thursday night. Friday he actually slept late. Heads turned as he roamed the aisles of the grocery store. Just what did little boys like to snack on? He chose a few bottles of wine and wound up with and odd assortment of food stacked in his cabinets, including several boxes of healthy cereal to offset the boxes of sugar frosted. Frozen pizza and ice cream waited in his freezer. He’d bought chocolate, vanilla and rocky road, not knowing Daniel’s choice. The idea gave him pause.

  He knew nothing about his own son. God, he’d been such a fool in too many ways to count. If Joey would give him a second chance, he promised himself not to screw it up this time. Shaking his head, he wondered if he’d ever cook the macaroni he picked up. He never cooked at home, rarely went into the kitchen unless it was to dump take out containers or get a cold beer. His refrigerator had faired better. With milk, cheese and fresh fruit, he could get through the weekend and then some. James bought two pounds of coffee so he’d wouldn’t run out, thereby taking away a reason to stop at Joey’s shop.

  By three he was relaxed and enjoying a hot cup of coffee at Joey’s bakery.

  She stood beside his table, tense and awkward. It was as if he were a stranger, and kept reminding herself he basically was now. Just because all week she couldn’t get him off her mind wasn’t his fault, although she did find a few ways to blame him. Every corner, every cell of her being had ached for him. She missed the teasing and laughing, but she missed the loving more.

  “Any chance we could get a few minutes alone tonight, time to talk?” She felt her brow furrow and tried to relax.

  “Can’t we talk now or tomorrow night? You’re coming for supper.”

  “In front of Danny?”

  “What’s on your mind, James?” Sheer panic crossed through her and she glanced around the area, noting who was watching them and who was within earshot.

  “I want to tell Daniel who I am.”

  “No, it’s too soon. We agreed on small meetings to start. Already you’re a force in his life, and he’s only known you for a week. Today will be the third time you’ve met. It’s too soon. Give him some time. Let’s just see how the evening goes tomorrow and then talk about it again. Just because you’re ready doesn’t mean he is.”

  “You’re stalling.”

  “With good reason, it’s too soon.”

  “What exactly are we waiting for? Because we both know there will never be a perfect time. Something will always get in the way. I want him to know who I am.”

  Joey could picture him stomping his foot to get his point across, just as Daniel had on occasion. Two weeks and already he was testing her restraint.

  “I wanted him to know who you were for the last six years. I didn’t get what I wanted either!” She turned and walked away, leaving him to watch, unable to come up with some witty comeback.

  “You’re back, James!”

  “Hi, Danny. Want to join me for a snack?” Both looked to Joey, and she nodded, asking what they wanted. Today was chocolate chip cookies for Danny and James wanted to try her macaroons. Setting a plate before each of them she drifted away, anxious to hear their discussion yet knowing it wasn’t her place. Danny was describing something with pure animation in his tone, his hands motioning in the air.

  Her heart was breaking in too many ways. Losing a piece of her son was the worst. He’d just turned six with the New Year, still young and trusting. She’d assumed they’d start to grow apart by his eighth or ninth birthday, which was why skiing was so important. It was something they could share, just as she was sharing her little boy with his father. JoAnna realized she wasn’t ready to let him go and had no choice.

  She had the startling revelation that she was extraneous, and it was hard to accept. But watching the two men in her life laughing together was worth the price. With his snack long gone, Danny dismissed James and headed to the play area. He waved a goodbye in her direction. She nodded but didn’t move toward him.

  * * * *

  James didn’t call. He stopped by after nine thirty. She was in the kitchen, making four dozen carrot cupcakes for a party order tomorrow afternoon. Actually, by the time he arrived, she was just about to start icing them. The simple, repetitive task should have relaxed her. Instead he was in her space again uninvited. JoAnna restrained from smoothing back her hair and dusting flour off the front of the apron she wore over old sweat pants and a sweatshirt. Her face was washed clean of the day’s grime and makeup. Not the first choice on how she’d present herself before James at this point in their new relationship.

  “You said you’d call,” she said flatly as she let him in the back door.

  “Same difference,” James retorted, his voice a bit too confident.

  “No. It’s not. It’s dropping by unexpected and catching me off guard.”

  “What are you so afraid of, me catching you in your robe? It’s nothing I haven’t seen before or touched for that matter.” He gave her his sly grin, and she glared at him. “Fine, next time I drop by I’ll call first.”

  “Yes, you will. Why are you here now?”

  “I want to arrange some kind of schedule so we can both have a life. Me being here for three days and only seeing him for a few of those hours is wrong.”

  “It’s too soon to take him on your own.”

  “It’s going to happen, JoAnna, whether you like it or not. Let’s not fight because we’ve done too much damage already.”

  She swung around and stared at him in complete disbelief.

  “I’m not responsible for what you or Ben did. Don’t ever lay that blame on me. I tried to correct the situation. It’s not my fault Ben has you wrapped in swaddling cloth. God, you’re thirty years old and that old man is still running your life.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong.”

  “Maybe, but only in the last, what, three weeks since Dr. Harris dropped his bomb? It was kind of him to wait until the holidays were over. At least Danny and I have that memory.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” He pulled out a stool and sat heavily, watching her steady hand ice the cakes.

  “Just that next year, the holidays will be different. He’ll be splitting his time between us. Do you get Christmas Eve and me the day or the other way around? Who’s going to get to spend his seventh birthday with him?”

  “He has to be told, Joey. I have a right to some of his time.”

  James was smart enough not to say he’d missed all of Daniel’s birthdays and holidays, not wanting to give her the opening to use it against him. It wasn’t her fault in reality, though through the years it had been easy to blame her. He knew Joey hated him and he couldn’t blame her. Instead, he rifled through her kitchen fridge and pulled out a can of soda, popping the top and taking a deep pull. He’d have rather it was bourbon, but this would do until he got back to his condo.

  “What are you expecting time wise?”

  “A few hours, maybe a movie or the video arcade for lunch.”

  “Are you planning on telling him who you are?”

  “No, we said we’d do that together.” The exasperation in his voice was apparent to his own ear. Was she going to fight his every step, every day?

  “We said we’d do a lot of things together, none of which panned out.” JoAnna tossed the offset spatula into the sink and rested her hands on the rim. “Why not mention it at supper tomorrow? See how Danny reacts to the invitation.”

  “All right. Can I have him Sunday afternoon?” James watched the color drain from her cheeks, watched her hands go white knuckled with her grasp. “It’s not the end of the world, Joey, just a different direction for all of us.” He was pushing.

  Originally he figured spending S
aturdays with Daniel would work for them all. Joey would be busy with the shop, and he and his son could have time together. Pushing to have Danny on her day off was a test of her endurance.

  “This is the end of the world as Daniel and I knew it. It will never be the same again, and it’s about time you started realizing your life has changed too. You’re all gung-ho right now. What happens when some big case comes along and you can’t get away from work? What happens when you start to disappoint him? I’m the one who’s going to have to pick up the pieces and put it all back together.”

  James opened his mouth but didn’t say anything. When she got no response she turned and glared at him.

  “You will disappoint him. Hopefully not for a while, but sooner or later the time will come when he becomes an inconvenience to you. What am I supposed to tell him then? That your work is more important? Don’t make me the bad guy in all this. If you’re going to cancel on him, at least promise me you’ll talk with him, not expect me to break your dates.”

  “You really do hate me, don’t you? With all the breath in your body, you hate me.” He moved closer, and she tried to shrink back but the counter prevented her. His hands came to either side of her waist, effectively trapping her. “Then this won’t hurt, you hate me already…”

  His kiss started out demanding then suddenly changed. Joey got erotic and sensual instead of punishment and resentment she’d expected. Pulling back only slightly, he studied her close up.

  “Why so nervous? You don’t act nervous around Alan or any of the men I’ve seen you interact with. So what is it?”

  “This isn’t a good idea, James. Please back off.”

  He took a step back and smiled. “You still see me as a threat to you and to your son. Men in general don’t bother you because you’re not attracted to them, are you? No,” he answered his own question. “You’re attracted to me, and it’s scaring the hell out of you!”

  “If you had any common sense, it would scare you too!”

  “We’re adults, unattached and attracted to each other. What’s the harm?”

  “The possibilities are too daunting to think about.” She took a step to the side and moved to the coffee pot, setting it up and pushing the button to brew. Moving around the space and taking down cups, she turned back to him. “I can’t have a sexual relationship with you again. It hurt too much to lose you the last time. I won’t let it happen again. For myself mostly, but for Danny too. So from now on, if you expect me to be reasonable about visits and time, you have to keep your distance from me physically.”

  “It’s a waste of time and energy. We both know it. Sooner or later we’re going to wind up in bed and we’re both going to enjoy it.”

  “Not an option, not now. So just let it go. Concentrate on Danny, and we’ll get along fine, end of discussion.” Joey was angry with both of them, him for pushing and herself for not keeping her mouth shut. He didn’t need to know how deeply he’d hurt her. “Tell me about what you do at work these days?”

  She filled a piping bag with frosting and set about finishing the cupcakes as they sipped coffee and tried to act like adults who could be in the same space without snapping at each other or turning it into a sexual encounter. She was still heated from his kiss. If she let him continue, Joey knew she wouldn’t hold back. Not with James. Whatever their history, she’d give herself willingly and take from him all she could. Only now wasn’t the time to be thinking like that and certainly not acting out a fantasy.

  With the cakes finished and safely boxed, she refilled their cups one last time. Rinsing out the pot at the sink, she knew he moved behind her, felt his body heat get closer. For a second time he rested a hand on either side of her, the counter his balance. His breath was close to her neck, then her ear. He hadn’t touched her, simply stood as close as he could without actually making contact. His hands moved and she drew a breath, hoping he’d move away. Instead, he slowly started to unbraid her hair, untwisting the sections to free the wayward curls. His lower half was just skimming her buttocks, his erection a breath away from contact.

  “You said I’d decide when we kissed again.”

  “You took too long!” James turned her gently against him, trapping her between his body and the counter top. One hand slipped through her hair, tilting her head toward his lowering lips. The other slid around her waist, tugging her slightly against his erection, and swaying against her. There was no mistaking the bulge he settled her over. Heat poured from her crotch to his, and their clothing did not impede their movements. His lips settled over hers in a gentle kiss, a renewal for them both. It turned heady and deep, both tasting and being tasted.

  Suddenly Joey’s body slithered over James’ cock of her own volition, using him to stroke herself in the desired spot, rubbing him against her clit, using his heat to deepen her own. She pushed the kiss deeper, taking control by sucking his tongue into her mouth with the same rhythm that her hips switched back and forth over him. Her right leg rose, giving her better access to slither across him, his hand caught her thigh holding her tighter.

  The world around them disappeared. All that mattered was them in the moment. She felt James pull the strap on her apron, and it became loose, easy to tug over her head and off. His warm hand slipped under her shirt, his sigh an act of approval at finding her braless. He released her leg but she didn’t drop it, instead she leaned into him further, redirecting his heat.

  Both of his large hands rose along her slim waist, finding her breasts, weighing them before teasing at her already budded nipples, before pulling his mouth from her. He swore and tugged her shirt up, his head dropping to kiss each rise, to lick her nipples in turn before slowly suckling first one then the other.

  Joey threaded her fingers through his hair, holding him against her breast. Her head was thrown back, her hair cascading over her shoulders. Joey’s body moved without conscience thought, only need. It was part of what made her fall in love with him when they met. His presence gave her confidence to give herself over to the moment, give herself to him. She gave herself with complete trust. His right hand slipped down to stroke between their bodies. Joey letting out a groan from deep inside.

  “I’ve missed you, Joey, too much. God, I’ve missed you.”

  “This shouldn’t happen, it’s not wise.” Her words lost their conviction when he sucked her nipple between his teeth.

  “Then tell me to stop.” His mouth covered hers before she could respond, but she felt the difference immediately in her body. She’d shut down, was pushing him away, trying to tug down her shirt over his hand.

  “I was only joking. We’re not stopping anything, just starting up.”

  Stilled against him, she slowly turned her back on him and straightened her clothes before drawing a deep breath and rounding back in the circle of his arms. He started to kiss her again, and she used both palms to lightly push him back.

  “James, turn around.” Slowly he did but saw only an empty kitchen. Her hands moved his head toward the upper corner and he suddenly saw the monitor to Daniel’s room was on. “I don’t think we need to give him any visual displays just yet.”

  “Damn, that thing is like being on candid camera.”

  “It would have been if he’d woken up.” JoAnna put distance between them and slowly went about shutting out the lights and closing down the kitchen. “It’s late. You should be going. We’ll be busy tomorrow, and I need some sleep.”

  “All right, get some sleep. I’ll bring some wine for supper tomorrow.”

  “Night, drive safe.” She stood beside the back door, ready to let him out, not taking any other excuse. He slipped past her, giving in to the urge to close his palm around her shirt-covered breast. Still she budded instantly, and he licked his lips. His head dropped down, and he covered her lips with just the breath of a kiss. Her sigh gave him encouragement and before she realized what he was doing, he’d slipped his fingers under the elastic waist band of her pants and slid them down her legs, taking her und
ies with them, leaving them puddle at her ankles. She started to resist but his tongue swept across her clit. Once, twice and she forgot to be angry, accepting the intimate kiss she’d missed for so long.

  JoAnna let her head fall back against the wall, her palms pressed firmly against it, holding her balance while he continued to suck her. His tongue took long strokes along her already moist lips then he went back sucking her. She felt his index finger slip along with his tongue, separating her as he lapped at her earlier excitement.

  “James, please,” she managed, not sure if it was a plea for him to continue or stop. When his long thick finger slipped easily inside her pussy she gave herself over to the moment, dropping her hands to his shoulders for balance and holding him in place. He slid second finger inside her and she lost control as he continued to fuck her with his fingers and his mouth. There was no mistaking her orgasm, as he continued to lick her through the peak than stayed to lap her juices. When he finally pulled from her and stood, his mouth went immediately to hers, sharing her juices, their tongues tangling for the remnants of her pussy juice. When she gasped for air he broke the kiss. Then he was gone, without a word. He’d left her propped against her hallway wall, sated yet wanting more. While she’d always enjoyed sex with James, his blatant reminder was like a thunderbolt running through her veins. Now that he’d touched her, she couldn’t evade the feelings she’d packed away so long ago. Her body wanted more, needed it, and she hated him just a bit for his blatant reminder. While it was a short relief, her body started to remember, pushing forward all the horny thoughts and desires she’d once shared so openly with him.

  JoAnna locked up and drew a long bath. Soaking was her second favorite thing besides skiing. She decided to pamper herself. Trying to let her mind go blank didn’t work. Instead her thoughts were filled with James, of their early days together when anything was possible. How they ever managed to fit in the old claw foot tub in her loft still made her laugh. They’d been so in love, nothing else mattered. only the two of them together, loving each other with such intensity.