Zee Town Paranormal Cozy Mystery - Complete Series Omnibus: Books 1 - 6

by K E O'Connor

  “He will. It’s just a matter of time.” Muffins might not be enough of a bribe to convince Archer to assist, but I had a stash of wellies I’d use to my advantage when it came to Archer.

  I patted Stool on the head as I left the station and said a quick goodbye to Alex, Karl, and Maggie who were taking a well-earned coffee break in the reception area.

  Once I was away from the station, my mind flicked into full-on event mode organizing. The first thing to tackle was the food, and my target for that was Laura’s diner.

  I pushed the diner door open and spotted Laura wiping down tables. “I need your help,” I said.

  “I’m all yours. I’m shutting up before the curfew kicks in,” Laura said. “Take a seat.”

  I sat at a table by the window. “Nick’s given us the green light to have the Spring Fling indoors at the town hall.”

  “That’s great news.” Laura walked over and joined me. “We need something to liven up the town.”

  “Yes, and that’s where you come in,” I said. “How do you feel about looking after the food for such a big event?”

  Laura adjusted the headscarf wrapped around her head. “It will be my pleasure. I’m bored out of my mind because the diner’s so quiet. I’ll happily do the catering.”

  I grinned. “Thanks. I’d be lost if you couldn’t help. I’ve got a decent budget, so you can use your imagination.”

  “What sort of thing do you have in mind?”

  “It’ll be an afternoon event, so I’m thinking finger food. Something people can pick up and walk around with. Nothing that needs knives and forks to eat.”

  “I can rustle up a finger food buffet,” Laura said. “And I can make batches of mini muffins for people to pick up. I can fruit platters as well, and mini pastries.”

  “That sounds perfect,” I said. “I’m not sure of the numbers yet. Some people might not want to go if it’s an indoor event. If you cater for a thousand people, that will be enough.”

  Laura’s eyebrows shot up. “So many?”

  “It’s a lot,” I said. “Some of them will be zombies, so you’ll need a brains option. Can you manage it on such short notice?”

  “I can’t promise all the food will be freshly made,” Laura said. “I’ll need to fall back on my trusty freezer stocks to get you everything. It can be done. I won’t let you down.” She patted the back of my hand.

  “You’ll never let me down,” I said. “And if I can help in the kitchen to make sure everything’s done on time, just let me know.”

  Laura smiled. “While I appreciate your offer, I’ll probably get more done if you don’t come into my kitchen and cause chaos.”

  “What do you mean? I bake.” Well, sort of. I make an attempt at cooking, but things never quite come out right. It was one of the reasons I spent so much time in Laura’s diner.

  “I have seen your cakes,” Laura said slowly. “They’re always... interesting. I tend to work better on my own, especially when it comes to the kitchen.”

  “I get the message,” I said. “I’ll be busy sorting out last minute decorations and updating people on the new event schedule, anyway.”

  “Stick with that,” Laura said. “It’s what you’re best at.”

  I jumped up as I spotted the clock on the wall. I was five minutes away from breaking curfew. “I’d better get going. Can you email me a list of everything you’re going to prepare for the event?”

  “I’ll do it this evening,” Laura said. “There’s not much cleaning up to do here so it won’t take me long to get that sorted. I need to check my stocks, but I can’t see there being a problem.”

  “Thanks. I couldn’t do this without you,” I said.

  “I’m sure you’d find a way,” Laura said. “You’re good at making sure your events run smoothly.”

  I gave her a quick wave goodbye and hurried out of the diner to my cottage, still in event planning mode. I needed to finalize the changes to the event information. Plus, I still needed to speak to Archer.

  I couldn’t deny the tiny tug of nerves in my stomach every time I thought about persuading Archer to help. If he said no, the event would be canceled. Nick would never let it go ahead without his support.

  Once I was safely inside my cottage and tucked up in front of my crackling log burner, I looked through my list of contacts and found Archer’s number.

  There was no time like the present. I took a deep breath and dialed.

  This had to work. My event depended on me sweet talking a secretive special forces ninja. I just needed to find his weak spot, and victory would be mine.

  Chapter 15

  “Speak to me.” Archer’s voice was deep and brisk.

  “Um, hi, Archer,” I said.

  “Who’s this?” Suspicion laced through his words.

  “Cassie. Cassie March.”

  “Hey, Cassie. What can I do for you?”

  I swallowed my nerves. “I’ve got a proposition for you.”

  “Interesting. I enjoy being propositioned by attractive women,” Archer said.

  I could imagine the kind of things women suggested to Archer. “This might not be quite the proposition you’re used to.”

  “You’re not asking me out on a date?” Laughter traced through Archer’s words.

  I opened my mouth and closed it just as quickly. “Do you want me to ask you out on a date?” This conversation wasn’t going in the direction I’d expected.

  This time, Archer laughed loudly. “Don’t tell me. Your heart belongs to Zee Town?”

  “Well, I’m rather fond of the place.” I looked at the notepad I had sitting on my lap with the words wellies written in capital letters. It was time to get back on track. “I want to talk to you about the welly throwing contest at our Spring Fling.”

  “Do you think I’ll hold my title again this year?” Archer asked.

  “It’s going to be a tough contest,” I said. “There’s a lot of new muscle in town. Some of the tourists could be pretty handy when it comes to welly throwing.”

  “It takes more than muscle to throw a good welly,” Archer said. “You need to have a strategy behind you.”

  “Would you like the chance to get some practice in before everybody else?”

  “Wouldn’t that give me an unfair advantage?” Archer asked.

  “That wouldn’t be a bad thing, though, would it?” I asked. “Plus, we’ve got the added complication of a new venue. No one will have thrown a welly there before.”

  “Now I’m interested,” Archer said. “Why don’t you show me the new venue and we can talk more?”

  “I can meet you tomorrow.” I glanced at the clock. It was past curfew. I was in for the night.

  “No, let’s do it now.”

  “What about the curfew?”

  “I am the curfew,” Archer said. “I’d be the one who’d haul you off to solitary confinement if you got caught out of your house.”

  A small shiver of excitement ran through me at the thought of being manhandled by Archer. Although, not into solitary confinement. There was no fun in that. “The venue isn’t far from me.”

  “I’ll come and pick you up,” Archer said. “If anyone spots us, you’ll be able to say you were heavily guarded by the best Zee Town has.”

  I couldn’t argue with that. And, if I could get Archer on side, and a little practice welly throwing convinced him to support the Spring Fling, I was prepared to break curfew. “That sounds like a plan. We’ll need to stop off at the office on the way. I’ve got a spare set of keys for where we need to go.”

  “I’m intrigued,” Archer said. “And I love a mysterious woman. See you in ten minutes.”

  After I hung up, I was a little giddy with excitement. What fun, an illicit meeting with a hot guy while breaking curfew.

  I freshened up, smearing on strawberry lip balm, and ran a brush through my hair. I also filled a thermos with tea and hunted out some cookies to take with me.

  Exactly ten minutes later, a sharp
rap sounded on the front door.

  I stuffed my feet into my boots and opened the door. Archer stood outside, a grin on his face. He was dressed in black, as though he was about to embark on a secret mission. I expected him to pull out a ski mask and pull it over his head.

  “Your carriage awaits, milady.” He pointed over his shoulder at the huge Jeep he’d squeezed along the tiny lane. “I thought it best if we traveled on wheels. Just in case anything is still lurking out there.”

  “Good plan.” I shrugged my coat on and picked up the large purse containing the thermos, cookies and my secret weapons; the welly boots.

  I hurried outside. Archer opened the passenger door of the Jeep for me. I slid in, the scent of grease and gasoline filling my nose. I glanced in the back. There were several gasoline cans, along with two guns.

  “Don’t worry about those.” Archer slid in beside me and shut the door. “They’re there for protection. It’s best to be covered for all eventualities.”

  “Absolutely! I always carry my emergency kit with me.”

  “You own a gun?”

  “Oh, no! Mine contains deodorant and a spare pair of underwear.”

  “Valuable tools.” Archer started the Jeep and backed out of the lane. “Which way to our mystery destination?”

  “To my office first. Harbor Lane.”

  “As you wish,” Archer said. We drove through the quiet night, all the cars tucked away and everyone hidden behind their curtains.

  “The place looks different with nobody on the streets,” I said.

  “I have to admit, I kind of like it,” Archer said. “All the tourists bring me out in hives.”

  “You can’t dislike them that much. You must have known what Zee Town would be like when you took the job.”

  “I had an idea,” Archer said. “I never thought the place would get this popular. Honestly, I wasn’t sure Zee Town would last a year.”

  “Why?”

  “Zombies and humans holding hands and living together.” Archer shook his head. “I never saw it working.”

  “I’m pleased that we proved you wrong.”

  He snorted a laugh. “So am I. I like it. Although, there have been occasions when I’ve been tempted to unleash a rabid zombie or two, to help clear the crowds. It would make it easier to get through to the ice cream stand in the height of summer. All the crowds drive me nuts.”

  I let out a strangled laugh. “That would definitely clear you a path.”

  Archer shook his head. “Sometimes, getting a seat in Laura’s diner is like going into battle. Sweaty tourists with sharp elbows, grabbing the last muffin and overwhelming you with the smell of sunscreen and sweaty sandals. I’d take the smell of napalm any day.” He pulled up outside my office.

  “I’ll be two minutes,” I said.

  “I’m coming with you,” Archer said. “I’ve not seen inside your office before.”

  I paused. “You’ve never been inside the tourism office in all the time you’ve been here?”

  “I don’t need to visit. You always email me information about your events,” Archer said. “And I’m not a tourist. I live here.”

  “You could learn something about the zombie uprising and how we solved it. I have lots of useful pamphlets.”

  “There’s no need for that,” Archer said. “I was one of the ones who helped solve it. I have first-hand knowledge of the uprising.”

  Archer was nothing if not confident. I hopped out the Jeep, unlocked the office door and walked inside, Archer right behind me like my shadow. “Welcome to the tourism hub of Zee Town, where the finest welly wangling contests are developed.”

  Archer softly shut the door behind him. “That’s a lot of trinkets you have in your window.” He walked over to my display of homemade trinkets.

  “I make them,” I said. “Have I never given you one of my trinkets?”

  “I have two in the guard office,” Archer said. “This one’s nice.” His fingers brushed an orange and white trinket.

  “They’re a hobby of mine,” I said. “They keep my hands busy.”

  “I heard a rumor.” Archer slowly pivoted on his heel.

  “About what?”

  “The zombies and your trinkets.”

  I turned to look at him. “What’s the rumor?”

  “Placid zombies go into a trance when they look at them. It makes them really chilled out.”

  “Oh! I’m not surprised to hear that. They do like to look at them. I don’t think they go into a trance, though.”

  “Have you ever tried them on a rabid zombie?”

  My eyebrows shot up. “Give a trinket to a zombie who wants to eat me? The thought never entered my head. Why would I do that?”

  “It’s just an idea. If these sparkles calm the placids, they could do the same to the rabid zombies. It might buy you time if you ever encounter one.”

  “Erm, well, that’s an interesting idea. Let’s hope I never have to do that.”

  “Here’s hoping. Can I buy this one?” Archer asked as he stroked the orange and white trinket.

  I looked at the trinket he had his hand on. “No, that one’s not right for you. Besides, I don’t sell them.”

  “Not right for me?” Archer asked, turning back toward me, his dark eyes glinting in the gloom.

  “This might sound strange, but when I make the trinkets, it’s as if I’m designing them for specific people. That’s not your trinket.” I opened my purse, knowing I had a number of trinkets in there. I extracted several and laid them out on my desk. None of them were perfect for Archer, but a black and red one spoke to me the most. I lifted it up.

  He approached the desk. “That’s more my style?”

  “It’s a better fit,” I said. “It has something of a warrior vibe.”

  Archer grinned. “That’s a vibe I can handle. May I have it?”

  “All yours.” I handed it over. I grabbed the keys for the town hall from my desk drawer, and we left the office and climbed back into the Jeep.

  “Now where?” Archer started the engine.

  “On to our mystery venue. The town hall. It’s time to give you the inside scoop on the Spring Fling.”

  Chapter 16

  “The town hall isn’t exactly a mystery.” Archer sounded disappointed.

  “It’s perfect for what I need,” I said.

  “You sure know how to show a guy a good time.” Archer drove toward the town hall.

  “It might not be exciting, but it’s a safe place to hold the Spring Fling,” I said. “Nick thinks that holding it outside is too much of a risk.”

  “He’d be right.” Archer made a left turn.

  “Do you think if it were inside it would be safe to hold?”

  Archer shot me a sideways glance. “I have the feeling I’m in the middle of something and only know half the story.”

  I smiled sweetly at him. “It must be your military training alerting you to something suspect.”

  “There’s nothing suspect about you, Cassie,” Archer said. “But you’re a terrible liar. I know you’re after something. I’m willing to play along and see what you need. You never know, for the right prize, I might be willing to help.”

  I kept the smile on my face as we pulled up outside the town hall. So long as Archer was willing to play along, I’d be happy to join him.

  “Let me go first.” Archer slid one of the guns from the back of the Jeep.

  I watched him as he scouted around, all military toughness and focus. After a moment, he gestured me out of the Jeep. I hurried out and followed him to the town hall, unlocking the door and slipping quickly inside.

  “What did you have in mind for the Spring Fling?” Archer asked as I led him toward the indoor bowling green. “We can’t do the welly throwing in here. If you damage the ornate features, the Council won’t be impressed.”

  “I doubt you care about the Council’s ornate features,” I said.

  Archer gave a snort of laughter in response.

>   “We can have the event in here,” I said. “And it’s one of the reasons I’m glad you came with me. You get to test out my idea.”

  “There’s more than one reason?” Archer asked.

  “What do you mean?”

  “What are the other reasons you’re glad I’m here?” Archer asked. “Did you invite me here because you like my company?”

  Warmth blossomed across my chest, tracked up my neck and onto my cheeks. “Well, you’re good company, I suppose.”

  Archer laughed and leaned down toward me. “I’m excellent company. Don’t you forget it. Now, show me what hare-brained scheme you’ve got planned.”

  As he’d leaned toward me, I got a scent of his deodorant; musk and citrus. It suited him. I shook my head and pushed open the door to the bowling green. “We can have the welly throwing in here. In fact, I plan to have the whole event here.”

  Archer walked in and looked around the room. “It should be big enough.”

  “Which is where you come in.” I extracted two green welly boots from the purse I held. “Fancy a go?”

  Archer grinned. “This is where I get to do my underhand practicing.”

  “Yes, you can be my test subject. You’re a perfect candidate, given the number of times you’ve won the contest.”

  “That I am.” Archer rolled his shoulders a few times and spun his arms around, limbering up. He took a welly and backed to the edge of the bowling green. “You’ll want to stand back,” he said.

  I did as instructed, my purse clutched in one hand, and watched as Archer stepped back and hurled the welly in a huge arc across the green. It landed a few feet from the opposite wall.

  “That’s impressive,” I said.

  “I can do better,” Archer said with a shrug. “I’ll be hitting the wall by the time we’ve finished practicing. Your turn.”

  “No, welly throwing isn’t my thing,” I said.

  “Sure it is,” Archer said. “I’ll give you a few pointers.” He strode over and collected his welly before coming back to me. “Go on. Have a throw.”

  I held up the second boot and went to throw it underarm. It slipped through my fingers and landed on the floor a few feet away.