Backward

by Andrew Grey

  “How did you get away?”

  “One of Harry’s security people found me.” He turned back toward Officer Douglas. “I don’t know his name, but he said he followed Rodney because he thought Rodney was hooked up with Eddie. Turns out he was right, I guess. He knocked out Smelly Guy and two other ones outside the back door as we left. Then he brought me here.”

  “You don’t know the guy’s name?”

  “No. He came in the room, and I nearly attacked him until he said Bull and Harry had sent him out looking for me. Anyway, we snuck out the back, and he brought me here.” Tristan shuddered and turned away. “I don’t think I….” Questions were the last thing he wanted right now. More than anything he wanted… hell, he wasn’t sure what he wanted other than no more questions.

  “Harry, who was this security person?”

  “He’s on Bull’s staff at the club,” Harry said. “Quite honestly, I can’t and won’t talk about him, and I know he won’t talk to you.”

  “Excuse me?” Officer Douglas sounded beyond miffed.

  “I need to leave it at that, and unless you intend to pursue this further, I suggest you leave it there as well. Tristan was rescued and is out of harm’s way. You’ve put a huge dent in the drug trade in this area. No doubt someone will step up to take Eddie’s place. And you may even be able to get him to roll over on his suppliers.”

  “Eddie wants to feel important,” Tristan said. “The most important thing to him is his ego. He’ll do anything to keep hold of what he believes is his, so you can use that against him if you’re smart.” Tristan released a little of his trepidation now that they weren’t directly talking about what had happened to him. “Eddie didn’t have anything growing up, and while I don’t know when he started dealing, he spent the past few years building up his business. At least until he fell off the deep end.”

  “Was he using?” Officer Douglas asked.

  “Not when I dated him, I don’t think, but from what I just saw, yeah. He’s all rage and muscle right now. So use that against him. The one thing Eddie loves to talk about is Eddie. Flatter him, make him think you’re a little in awe of him, and get him talking.”

  “Okay,” Officer Douglas said. “I’ll give that a try.” He closed his notebook. “I think that’s all I need for now. I’m sure I’ll have more questions, especially about this security person.”

  “He’s an employee, and as such, there’s only so much information I can give you. If you get a court order for my records, then I would have to comply, but until then I can’t help you.” Tristan watched as the two men had a stare-down.

  Officer Douglas was the first to look away. “All right. I’ll take this as an ‘all’s well that ends well’ situation… for now. But I’m a little disappointed.”

  Tristan stood and climbed off Harry’s lap. “Officer Douglas, I know this will be hard for you to understand, but all of us, we’re friends, and we help each other. Some of us are much more private than others, and as friends we respect that privacy. I know it sounds like we’re hiding something, but we’re not. We protect each other as best we can, just like you protect your brothers on the force.” Tristan turned to Harry and saw him nod his agreement and encouragement. “I was saved by one of those friends, and I have told you the truth.”

  “You’ve left out details,” Officer Douglas said.

  “No, I haven’t. I’ve told you what I know, and I truly appreciate your help.” Tristan held out his hand, and after a few moments, Officer Douglas shook it. “You’re a good man, and I hope I’ll be seeing more of you—in an unofficial capacity, of course.” Tristan sighed. “I hope this is over and I never have need of a policeman for the rest of my life.” He looked down and remembered he still had the blanket wrapped around him.

  “All right. Like I said, I think I have what I need for now.”

  “Thank you,” Tristan said, and Harry got up, showing Officer Douglas out. While they were gone, Tristan changed into his own clothes and went into the kitchen. He pulled open the refrigerator door and scouted out some food.

  “I take it you’re feeling better,” Harry said, and Tristan jumped with a small squeak. “Sorry. I guess you have a right to be jumpy.”

  “I guess.” Tristan grabbed a bag of green grapes, washed them, and began to chow down. As soon as the food hit his stomach, he was instantly starved and couldn’t eat fast enough. Harry pulled out some chicken salad and handed him a fork. Tristan dug in and polished that off before slowing down.

  “Do you think there’s something wrong with me?” Tristan asked, leaning back against the counter.

  “No. What happened to you shouldn’t have happened to anyone. But it did. Eddie had no right to do that to you, and you did nothing to deserve it.” Harry slowly moved closer. “I know it’s hard for you to believe, but it’s true. And if you think you’ll need someone to talk to, I’m sure Officer Douglas knows someone who helps people through things like this.” Harry gently enfolded him in his arms, and Tristan snuggled in. “You don’t have to work this through alone. All those friends you told Officer Douglas about will be there for you every step of the way, never doubt that for a second.”

  “I won’t,” Tristan said, closing his eyes and doing his best not to shake as the memory of how close he’d come to being….

  “Remember how strong you were and what Spook said.”

  “But I felt helpless,” Tristan said. “I couldn’t get out.”

  “No. But you were ready to fight, and that means you weren’t helpless. You have hidden strength. That’s part of what I love about you.”

  “I’m not strong. More than once I thought I was going to wet myself I was shaking so hard.” The shivers came over him again.

  “No, you are strong. Fear is nothing to be ashamed of.” Harry held him tighter. “I know this is all too soon, and you need time to think things through and to try to heal. But know this: I would have moved heaven and earth to get you back because I love you. That isn’t going to change either.”

  Tristan bit his lower lip and raised his gaze to Harry’s. “Would you still love me if Eddie had… actually gone through with….” He couldn’t say the words, and he hoped Harry understood.

  “Yes. Nothing would have changed that. I probably would have hunted the man down and cut things off him, but that would not have changed how I feel about you.” Harry held him close. “I do have to ask you something. Can you forgive me?”

  “What for?” Tristan asked, his voice muffled by Harry’s shirt.

  “If I hadn’t messed around with Rodney, then I doubt Eddie would have been able to get to him. We’re sure Rodney was helping him.”

  “Eddie would have found another way to get what he wanted. I know that.” Tristan sighed. “I think Eddie the asshole has been the source of way too much guilt, hate, and misery.” Maybe it was the food or… God knew what, but Tristan found the strength he needed. “I’ll probably need someone to speak with, but I want to do our best to push Eddie out of this relationship.”

  “I agree. Let’s let Eddie go, preferably to the depths of hell, where he belongs,” Harry said.

  Tristan couldn’t have agreed more.

  Chapter 9

  HARRY PICKED up the phone on the first ring.

  “Bull, is everything okay?” Harry sat in the living room, watching television while Tristan slept upstairs. He’d quickly run out of steam, and Harry had helped him between the covers. He’d stayed with him until Tristan had fallen asleep.

  “It’s fine. It’s a Monday and slow. We have good people, and they can handle the place for tonight while we try to get some rest. How is Tristan doing?”

  “Calm for now, but he’s going to need some help, I think.”

  “We can get him whatever he needs. But at first the most important thing is going to be time and someone to listen, and there’s no one better at that than you. So be there with him.” Bull paused. “Get some rest too. You’ve been up for God knows how long. I’ll see you tomor
row.” Bull said good-bye, and Harry hung up.

  Tristan padded into the room and sat down next to him. “You were gone, and I thought I was…. Then Butterscotch began pigging the bed and… I’m getting used to her, I think, but I don’t know how I feel about her climbing all over me and licking my ears. I keep thinking she’s tasting me for later.” Tristan seemed to be forcing a light tone in his voice. “But I guess after… well… the other stuff, I can learn to deal with a cat. By comparison, she isn’t so bad.” Tristan shifted closer. “So why aren’t you in bed? I need you to protect me from the beast.”

  Harry wrapped his arm around Tristan and tugged him close. “I was just thinking too much and couldn’t sleep.”

  “What about?” Tristan asked.

  “It really isn’t important. Not right now.” Harry kissed Tristan’s forehead and let out a small sigh.

  “Did I do something wrong?” Tristan asked.

  “Of course not,” Harry answered quickly. “It’s… well, there’s something I want to ask, but I know it’s not the right time. I just like having you here, and I don’t want you to go back to living at your apartment.”

  Tristan nodded. “I like it here too, but I can’t….” Tristan humphed. “It’s too soon. I rushed into things with Eddie, and look how that turned out. We’ve gotten close in the last week, and I like how things are with you. But I don’t want to rush in and make a mistake.”

  “Like I said, it isn’t what’s most important right now. I shouldn’t even have brought it up.” He knew it was the wrong thing to do, but it still hurt that Tristan had turned him down. He should have simply kept his mouth shut and not said a word. Yeah, he didn’t want Tristan to go back to his apartment, but maybe he was being selfish and wanted Tristan here for the wrong reasons. They had spent a week together, almost in each other’s back pockets, and he liked it.

  “Harry. I know what you’re thinking. We’ve had a traumatic week with all the crap that’s happened. What if it’s just that? A reaction to all of that? I looked to you for help, and you’ve been there the entire time. But what if that’s all there is, and now that it’s all over, we find out we don’t have anything in common, or….” Tristan bit his lower lip.

  Harry tugged Tristan closer. “I nearly lost you….”

  “Yeah, and I kept thinking of you while I was locked in that room. I actually prayed on the wind that you’d find me.” Tristan met his gaze. “I love you too, Harry, I really do. But I think we both need to make sure this is real.”

  “So what are you saying?”

  “That I want to go out on dates like real people, talk on the phone, get all mushy, go places, and then we can move in together when we’re sure.”

  “And how long do you think that will be?”

  “I don’t know. We’ll know when it’s right.” Tristan kissed him. “I’m not turning you down—I’m asking you to wait. Is that okay?” He held still, and his warm breath ghosted over Harry’s lips. “I do love you, Harry, and I hope I didn’t hurt you.”

  “You didn’t. But living with me or not, I don’t intend to stop looking out for you and caring for you.” He had almost said that he had no intention of letting Tristan go, but that might have sounded a little too possessive, and while he was feeling quite protective and, yes, a little possessive of Tristan, the last thing he wanted was to remind Tristan of Eddie and what he’d gone through. “I want you to be able to trust me, and I can see that will take time.”

  “Is that something you’re willing to take?”

  “Babe, I’m willing to take all the time you need.” Harry pulled Tristan to him, holding him tightly. He was in his arms, safe, and Harry breathed a sigh of relief. He’d watched Tristan for a long time, and now that he had him in his life, he wanted to make sure he stayed. And if the price was spending the time to get to know each other better, he was happily willing to do that. “Let’s get into bed so I can hold you, make love to you.” Tristan nodded, his eyes filling with heat.

  Epilogue

  “ARE YOU sure you heard the message right?’ Tristan asked as he hurried up the walk to the front of Harry’s house, phone pressed to his ear.

  “Yes, I’m sure,” he heard Harry say with a slight laugh. The front door opened, and Harry stepped out. He hung up, and Tristan shoved his phone in his pocket. “We need to leave in ten minutes.” Harry definitely sounded nervous.

  “Did they say what they wanted? Or why they called you?”

  “Nope,” Harry answered. “They just asked if we could come over this evening.”

  Tristan shook his head and stepped into the house. Harry closed the door, and they slammed into an embrace that lasted a lot longer than it should have if they were going to be on time. “This is so not like them. Mom and Dad are never spontaneous. And why would they call you instead of me?”

  “I don’t understand it either. I think they got the numbers mixed up.”

  Things had been different since the kidnapping. Both his parents had been nicer, and the last time he and Harry had come over, Harry and his dad had actually gone out back into the shed his dad used for woodworking and spent some time together. “Did they sound mad?”

  “You heard the message, so you tell me.”

  “I’ll call them back once I finish dressing.” He smelled like the restaurant, and all he wanted was to shower and rest for a while. But the cryptic message his parents had left meant that they needed to get moving.

  “I already tried. The call just goes to voice mail, so I don’t know what’s up. Just change, and we’ll hurry down there and find out what they want.” Harry released him, and Tristan hurried to their room and began dressing.

  He’d agreed to move in with Harry a month ago, and things had been going great. The lease he and Kevin had had was up, so Kevin had found a smaller place on his own, and Tristan had moved in with Harry. He needn’t have worried. They got along great together, and other than a few bathroom issues, like the fact that Harry didn’t understand that looking good required more than five minutes in the morning, Tristan was happy.

  Once he had fresh clothes on, he hurried to the bathroom, checked that his hair wasn’t hideous, and then met Harry by the front door. “Let’s go face the Christian firing squad.”

  “It isn’t that bad,” Harry said.

  “They’re on their best behavior when you’re around. Just wait.” Tristan smiled quickly and got in the car. Harry climbed in as well and pulled out of the driveway.

  Tristan pulled out his phone as he rode and dialed his mother’s number. “Mom,” he said with relief when she answered. “What’s going on? Harry and I are on our way. You said you had something important to talk about.”

  “Yes, honey. But we’ll do it when you get here,” she said seriously. “Are you on your way?”

  “Yes. Harry and I just got on the freeway heading south. We should be there in half an hour.” His mother said good-bye, and Tristan disconnected. “She sounded rather ominous.” Tristan put his phone back in his pocket and stared out the window for a few minutes, his nerves nearly getting the better of him.

  “They’re probably just being dramatic. Take it easy and relax. We’ll be there in a little while, and then they’ll tell you what this is all about.” Harry turned back to his driving and yawned once as they continued along with the flow of traffic.

  Since Tristan came out to them just after high school, his parents had been standoffish and hadn’t seemed to know what to make of him. Tristan had tried to explain how he felt and who he was, but they’d never seemed interested. After the kidnapping, they had opened up, and even his father had warmed up to him. But in the past few weeks, the calls from his dad had tapered off, and the last time they spoke, it seemed as though they had returned to the way things had been before, cold and distant. He’d thought things might have thawed when his dad and Harry had spent time together, but it didn’t appear that way.

  “Mom and Dad are never dramatic. I swear they must think it’s a sin.” Tr
istan continued looking out the window for a few minutes and then turned to Harry, placing his hand on his leg. “I appreciate you coming. You really didn’t have to.” Harry had been there for him for months, listening as he talked about what happened and even letting him yell and scream when he wanted to. Thankfully that was mostly behind him now. Eddie was in jail and would remain there until his trial in a few months. Tristan found he was actually looking forward to staring him down in court. That would at least put an end to this unfortunate chapter in his life.

  “Of course I’m coming with you. Why wouldn’t I?” Harry seemed to get some perverse pleasure out of seeing Tristan’s parents. “They aren’t going to learn what we mean to each other if they don’t see us together. So when you go to visit, I’ll be right there too.”

  Tristan tried not to get too nervous as they continued driving. Harry turned off the freeway, and they made their way down familiar roads and streets to the house Tristan had grown up in. “Someone in the neighborhood must be having a party,” Tristan observed as they pulled into the drive. He got out and waited for Harry before hurrying up to the front door. He knocked and then turned the knob and pushed open the door.

  “Mom,” Tristan called.

  “Surprise!” a crowd of people called. Tristan stepped back a second, bumping into Harry. “Happy Birthday.”

  He gasped and turned to Harry. “You knew?”

  Harry smiled, and Tristan smacked him on the shoulder. “What do you think your dad and I talked about when we were in the workshop?”

  Tristan stepped fully into the room, and his mother hugged him. “I don’t understand.”

  “I guess the whole kidnapping”—his mother looked at his dad—“helped us realize that life is too short to spend any of it angry or resentful. You’re our son.” She reached out and took Harry’s hand. “I was always afraid you’d be alone. But you have a good man who loves you, and that’s what matters.”