The Battle Within

by LaShawn Vasser

  Sandy held her breath, her stomach was starting to feel queasy, hoping and praying she could make it through the ceremony without getting sick.

  Roman swallowed, “I Roman Michael Benton…”

  Sandy was so hot and nauseous; she just might faint. She could barely make out what Roman was saying. However, a well-scripted movie along with fantastic editing couldn’t have prepared her for the moment Franklin stood outside the doors of the chapel and urgently called out her name.

  Chapter 28

  Her head lurched in Franklin’s direction as she dropped Roman’s hands, “Franklin?” Was she hearing and seeing things?

  Roman yelled out to the ushers and security, “Get him the hell out of here!”

  Franklin had taken two steps into the chapel before he was grabbed and held. Before they could take him out, he shouted out, “I love you! Do you hear me…I LOVE YOU.”

  Sandy couldn’t breathe. Her chest rose up and down. In a split second, she screamed out, “Wait! Wait…don’t.” She turned pleading eyes to Roman, “I have to talk to him.”

  He was panicked, “No, you don’t! You made a promised to me.”

  She turned to give her bouquet to Vicky then back to Roman, “Please Roman…I…I…have to talk to him.” Sandra picked up her dress and ran down the aisle toward Franklin.

  Security released him. Roman was about to go after them but somehow, Jason and Troy, who appeared from nowhere, blocked his path.

  Sandy led him toward the small room she and her bridal party had only moments before occupied. Once they were inside, she closed the door behind them.

  Franklin wasted no time pulling her into his arms and kissing her the way he’d dreamed of over the past couple of years.

  She pulled away as she whispered, “Franklin…don’t.”

  “Sandy, I’m so sorry. You have to understand that I couldn’t sentence you to a lifetime of crazy hell. I love you too much for that. But, I don’t have too. I’m not schizophrenic. It was a misdiagnosis that has been kept from me by Dr. Caprice and April. While I am suffering from PTSD, it can be managed with medication and therapy.”

  “My god Franklin! That’s WONDERFUL. I prayed for a miracle for you. But…how? You were misdiagnosed, and April knew it?”

  He ran his hands through his hair, “Yes. She’s friends with my psychiatrist, Dr. Caprice. She’d asked her not to tell me until after you were married to Roman. She knew if I had known the truth that I would have come after you. She was right.”

  Sandy backed up a step, “Franklin, you can’t even imagine how happy I am for you…but, I’m…” She straightened her spine, “I’m going to marry Roman.”

  He shook his head no, “You can’t do this. Baby, we’re this close.”

  “I made a promise to god and I made a promise to Roman. God answered one of my prayers by saving you, and I intend to honor my commitment to Roman.”

  “You don’t love him. I know you don’t.”

  “I promised him I would give him my whole heart. He’s been through too much too. I can’t hurt him like this again. My future is with Roman.”

  Franklin didn’t know if he would be able to stand. The pain in his chest was almost unbearable. How could he get his life back only to have it snatched away again?

  “I’m sorry.” Sandy kissed him on the lips, then turned and walked out of the room…back to Roman.

  *****

  Sandy stepped out of the room into the hallway where Roman was waiting outside. He couldn’t read her expression but knew she was going to tell him, it was over.

  Hesitantly, she spoke, “It’s been an interesting day. One I hope we can look back on and laugh about. Mr. Benton are we still getting married today?”

  His body was sagging but jerked to life at her words, “Yes. I want to marry you more than I want to take my next breath.”

  She smiled, “Then, let’s go do it.”

  Roman reached for her hand and led her back into the chapel. To say the guests were shocked to see them emerge was an understatement.

  They took the long walk back toward the minister…together. Once they were at the Alter, he whispered into her ear, “I can’t believe you still want to marry me knowing Franklin doesn’t have Schizophrenia.”

  Sandy’s heart rate sped up, “Wait…how did you know about Franklin’s condition?” She looked bewildered for a moment before it all came together, “You knew. You knew all this time too.”

  He shushed her, “We can discuss this after the wedding.”

  She shook her head no, “Kate sent me a note. I know it was her, and it said be careful of men who keep secrets especially secrets with April Linden. Franklin just told me that April kept the knowledge of his misdiagnosis from him.” Her eyes widened. Then, she screamed at him in front of everyone, “YOU KNEW…YOU KNEW ALL ALONG!”

  “Please don’t overreact to this. If I had known you would have chosen me, I wouldn’t have made some of the choices I’ve made.”

  “Overreact? You’re blaming me? Roman these aren’t little white lies! What she did was a crime! You let a man think his life was over. How can I marry a man who could lie to me so easily about such serious matters, when the truth isn’t convenient?” She grabbed ahold of her stomach as if she were in pain, “I was ready to commit my life to you!”

  He reached for her, “And you still can? We can fix this!”

  She backed away, “No…no we can’t. We can’t fix intentional deceitfulness.”

  “Yes, we can!”

  “Really? Then tell me the truth, did you sleep with Kate?”

  He lied, “No.”

  She could see it in his eyes, he was lying.

  “I was willing to marry the man I thought you were; I’m not going to marry the man you’ve shown yourself to be.”

  “Sandy…don’t do this!”

  “I didn’t do this. YOU did this.” She turned to the minister who had been patiently waiting, “There will not be a wedding today.” Then, she picked up her wedding train and ran out of the chapel with Andrea and Vicky right behind her.

  *****

  Franklin hadn’t come to the beach in a while. Even its beauty wasn’t going to be enough to give him a sense of peace and hopefulness. That was why he’d stopped off at the liquor store on the way. What the beach couldn’t give him, he hoped a bottle of Jack Daniels would.

  He was torturing himself even more by picking out the same spot that Sandy had introduced to him. A spot where they had made love on more than one occasion. Franklin turned the bottle up and took a long drink. It burned going down. Hopefully soon, he wouldn’t be able to feel a thing.

  How had his life gotten so screwed up? He was sure his psychiatrist was going to make a lot of money from this madness. Oh, wait…no. He didn’t have a psychiatrist any longer. He was going to have to find a new one because his ex-fiancé had bribed his into making him think he had schizophrenia when he didn’t. That certainly deserved another drink. Franklin turned the bottle up again.

  “I could surely use a sip of whatever it is you’re drinking. You mind if I sit down next to you?”

  He didn’t even look up but continued to look at the ocean, “I thought you’d be married by now.”

  Sandy dropped down next to him still wearing her wedding dress, “Yeah, me too.” She rubbed her arms and shoulders.

  Franklin handed her the bottle. Sandy turned it up as the brown liquid burned her throat. She almost choked, “I’ve got one hell of a story to tell you if you care to listen.”

  He shrugged his shoulders, “I’ve got nothing but time.”

  “See, a couple of years ago, I met this wonderful man that stole my heart and broke my heart deeper than anyone ever had before. He dumped me for a trifling ass scheming ass woman.”

  Franklin started to speak, “I didn’t…”

  She interrupted him, “Please let me finish.”

  He sighed deeply and nodded.

  Sandy turned the bottle up again, “I’m going to try to
finish this story before I get sloppy drunk.”

  “Okay.”

  “Franklin, I never stopped loving you no matter how hard I tried. You know that.” She took another swig from the bottle. Then wiped her mouth with her arm, “However, I almost made the biggest mistake of my life today because I felt I owed him. Other than my father, no man has ever just loved me for me.”

  “I did.”

  “But not enough to share everything with me. You pushed me away. Can you imagine how much it hurt to know that you shared your secret with April? To me, that was proof you loved her more.”

  “Sandy…I can see how you would see it that way. But, it’s not true. When you came into my life, you opened me up in a way no one else ever had. I felt vulnerable in a way that I haven’t experienced since my mother left. It scared me.”

  Sandy blink several times as she listened intently.

  “Somewhere deep inside, I felt if you knew the real me, the ugliness of my mind, you’d run. You’d run far and fast. I needed to end it before it got that far. And, if you didn’t leave me, could I really commit you to a lifetime of hell?

  April coming back into my life was just good timing. I knew you wouldn’t question my decision to get back with her. But, you would question, a break up out of the blue.”

  She nodded.

  He took the bottle from her hands and turned it up. He continued, “I didn’t have the same fears with April. She never touched my soul the way you did. She knew about the abuse when I was a kid. In my mind, she’d done something even my mother hadn’t done. Although she left me, she came back. I thought she loved me enough to stay...flaws and all. I felt I owed her for that. That wasn’t love, though.

  At the same time, as selfish as it was, I didn’t want to be alone. I thought I still had some time before I completely lost my sanity. I explained to April that there wouldn’t ever be marriage or kids. She seemed to accept it. As far as I knew, she was willing to stay even after she found out about my condition. However, she accepted things so easily because she already knew I was misdiagnosed. Her motives are easily recognizable now. She was looking to gain so many things like parental approval, social status, and the financial freedom a marriage to me would bring.

  Abandonment is a crazy thing. It had my mind twisted.” He sighed, “She even aborted my child when she thought I was crazy.”

  Sandy almost choked on her own bile, “What? Are you serious?”

  “Yes.” He gazed out at the moon sparkling brightly like diamonds over the water

  “How’d you find out?”

  “Dr. Caprice sang like a canary. She told Troy and the police everything; hoping that if she turned on April, they would go easier on her. However, she’ll never get her license back. I’ll make sure of that.”

  She touched his knee, “I’m sorry.”

  “Me too. About that anyway.”

  Quietly, she spoke, “You would have been a great father.”

  “Yeah.”

  “So, what’s going to happen to April now?”

  He shrugged, “She’ll lose her license and probably jail time too.”

  “It looks like we both almost married someone we didn’t really know. Roman was cheating on me with his administrative assistant and I still almost married him. I’m a mess.”

  He looked deeply into her eyes and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, “He was a fool. And, so was I.”

  Sandy shivered more from his touch than the cool night air. Franklin pulled her into the crook of his arms. She laid her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes.

  Franklin kissed the top of her head, “I’ve dreamt of holding you like this for a long time.”

  “So, what now?”

  “As beautiful as you are in that dress, we need to go someplace where I can get you out of it and burn it. Then, I’m going to make love to you until neither one of us can move.”

  She gazed into his eyes, “I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  Sandy stood and unzipped her wedding dress. She wiggled and pushed it down her body as Franklin sat and watched.

  Finally, the massive dress pooled at her feet. She stepped out of it and was left wearing a lacy strapless bra and panty. Sandy unhooked a couple of pins in her hair so that it would fall around her shoulders.

  She was bathed in the moonlight, and Franklin drank her in. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her.

  She smirked, “Why do we have to go anywhere? We could burn this right here.”

  “Are you sure?”

  Sandy dropped down to her knees in front of him, “Yes.”

  Franklin caressed the side of her cheek before pulling her body into his for a soul-searing kiss. This kiss wasn’t hurried, desperate, or frantic. It was soft and sweet and born out of pure love.

  Gently, ever so gently, he lay her down on his jacket determined to make up for lost time. The heat in his eyes created a tightness in her stomach.

  Franklin covered her body with his as she parted her legs to welcome him…home. It had been way too long.

  She could feel his heart beating just as he probably could feel hers.

  It didn’t take much to ignite the flames that had always been smoldering between them. When he positioned himself between the softness of her thighs as he captured her lips for another kiss, Franklin didn’t think he could get any closer to heaven than this.

  Brushing his lips across hers, he continued to nip and kiss the side of her face and the hollow of her neck. He whispered, “I love the way you taste.” As he slid his tongue lower and lower savoring every part of her body until he reached a barrier.

  Sandy’s eyes fluttered closed.

  His voice was husky, “This is in my way.” Somehow, he managed to remove her bra with ease.

  For a moment, all he could do was marvel at her beauty. He gave himself just a second for his eyes to feast on her before lowering his head. He swirled his tongue around a sensitive peak. After teasing her for as long as he could, Franklin finally captured it between his lips. Greedily, he sucked until she cried out. Then, he made sure he gave the proper amount of attention to the other one.

  Whispering in her ear, he spoke, “You can’t imagine how many times I’ve replayed this moment over and over again in my mind.”

  She squirmed underneath him as she whispered back, “Probably, not as many times as I craved your touch.”

  Was it possible to burn up from the inside out? Every nerve ending in her body was pulsing with desire.

  His hardness was positioned so close to her entrance that when he rotated his hips, she couldn’t help but arch into him. Desperately, she needed to get closer but his clothes were in the way.

  Franklin sucked in a breath, as he ground into her and she pressed into him.

  Sandy snaked her hands up and under his shirt somehow managing to unbutton it in the process. She needed to feel his skin on hers.

  She ran eager hands all over him. It was feverish just like hers. In a near whisper she spoke, “I can’t be the only one naked on this beach.”

  The second her fingers touched the planes of his chest, Franklin almost lost it. Both their movements became more and more frenzied.

  Her throaty little moans were driving him insane. “I want to touch you everywhere all at once.”

  She moaned, “Yes, please…touch me.”

  He slid his hands up and down her inner thigh until his fingers found a way to slip underneath the silky material into her folds. She was soaked.

  Sandy arched her back as she raised her knees slightly to give him better access. He thrust one finger…then another inside to find her more than ready. Her walls contracting around made him even harder. If he didn’t make love to her soon, he was afraid he may not be able to hold on.

  Watching the pleasure on her face did something to him. It was as if a switch had been flipped on. He needed to claim her now and couldn’t get into her fast enough. She sensed his need and brought her knees up around his hips as she
clutched his shoulders.

  “Hurry, please…I’ve already waited long enough.”

  It had been too long. He needed to be inside her, stretching and pounding her. Franklin managed to free himself. He was thick and hard. Gripping her hips, he moved her thong to the side and drove in with deep and powerful strokes.

  It was almost his undoing as he felt her clench around him. The pleasure was too intense. So, intense, he threw his head back and growled as continued to slam into her.

  They rocked furiously back and forth. Sandy dug her nails into him as she took everything he had to give and gave him everything she had. Franklin continued to thrust in and out…in and out over and over again until he completely lost himself.

  Her orgasm was building as he filled and stretched her to her limits, and it was incredible. Neither of them was sure where one ended, and the other began.

  “Mmm…yes! Franklin. I’m….I’m…”

  He could feel when she exploded into a million little pieces. And, he captured her scream with a kiss as she continued to pulsate around him causing him to finally lose control and spill his seed inside of her.

  They were still for a long time not wanting the euphoria of the moment to end. He kissed her softly on her lips. After a few minutes, their breathing started to return to normal.

  He caressed the side of her face wiping away the tears that began to leak from the corners of her eyes.

  Speaking softly, “Tears?”

  Sandy smiled, “Happy tears. I never thought we’d ever be together like this again.”

  “Hmm…I’m declaring no more tears for us.”

  “Promise?”

  “Promise.”

  Feeling more at peace than ever before, Franklin didn’t want to move. But, he needed to get Sandy home before they got arrested. Sighing, he spoke, “While we’re hidden somewhat in this alcove, were still on a public beach. Let’s get you dressed so that I can take you home and we can do this all over again.”