A New Life (West Meets East Book 1)

by Merry Farmer

  In a split-second, her mind was made up. She pushed herself off her bed, letting the letter fall to the coverlet as she raced to her wardrobe. The small trunk she’d come to England with had been stored on top of the wardrobe, so she lifted to her tip-toes and pulled it down. As soon as she set it on the bed and opened it, she returned to the wardrobe, threw open its doors, and started packing.

  She was almost finished when Ginny opened the door.

  “There you are,” her friend said. “Mrs. Wilson wondered—” She paused, her mouth open, as Millie put the last of her things in the trunk. “Millie, whatever are you doing?” Ginny shut the door and rushed over to Millie’s side.

  “I’m going home,” Millie said, her voice ragged with emotion and with crying.

  “But this is your home now,” Ginny argued, rubbing Millie’s arm.

  Millie shook her head. “I can’t stay here anymore. You heard what Lord William said.”

  Ginny paled and swallowed. “I’ve never been so afraid of him in my life, and that’s saying something.”

  Millie inched away from her friend and closed the lid of her trunk. “So, you understand why it would be impossible for me to stay here.”

  Ginny blinked, then took in a breath. “Actually, no, I don’t. Lord William is a beast, but Lord Dunsford is home now, and he’s the one who’s really in charge. His lordship is a good man. He’ll set things right.”

  If only he could. “It’s more than just that,” Millie went on. She turned to sit on her bed with a hopeless sigh. Ginny sat beside her. “I can’t go on living and working here when Owen hates me.”

  Ginny started. “Owen doesn’t hate you, he loves you.”

  “After everything he heard?” Millie stared at her, not knowing how a smart woman like Ginny could fail to see the truth of things.

  “We don’t know how much he heard.” Ginny glanced away, blinking fast, the pink that came to her cheeks betraying that she knew as well as Millie did that Owen had probably heard everything.

  “You saw the way he charged out of the room,” Millie went on. “There’s no way a man as sweet and gentle as Owen could still like me, let alone love me, after I betrayed him that way.”

  “But you didn’t betray anybody,” Ginny insisted, looking to Millie once more. “If anything, Lord William betrayed us all with his seedy insinuations. Owen knows that man as well as I do. There’s no possibility that he’d believe those sordid accusations to be true.”

  Millie swallowed hard, her face—already hot from crying—going even hotter. “I’ve…I’ve given him reason to believe the accusations, though.”

  Ginny frowned at her, incredulous. “I doubt it.”

  Millie winced. “The other afternoon, when Owen and I had our picnic, I—I seduced him.”

  “You what?” Ginny’s brow flew up.

  “It was such a beautiful moment,” Millie rushed on, spilling out her story as fast as she could. “And my heart was so full. I wanted him, and so, when he kissed me, I urged things to go further. As far as they can go. I’m not even sure that’s what he wanted, but I was so easy about…about letting him be intimate with me that—” She turned away. “—that there’s no doubt in my mind he knows I’m a loose woman. I parted my legs easily enough for him. Of course he’d believe I would part them for Lord William too.”

  “Nonsense,” Ginny said, so fast and with such vehemence that Millie jumped. “You’re being too hard on yourself. You’re not going to pull yourself out of a slough of despair by despairing even more. Owen is a man, and when a man loves a woman, he wants to be with her. It doesn’t mean the woman is of low character if she wants the same thing.”

  Millie could hardly believe her ears. She’d spent so long living in a world of saints and sinners, where the respectable folks in town looked askance at her and the rest of Bonnie’s girls, that she hadn’t considered there was any middle ground.

  She still wasn’t convinced. “Are you telling me that you’ve let a man take liberties with you, Ginny Davis?”

  Ginny’s cheeks went pink. “Well, not to that extent. But I did unbutton my blouse for Harry once,” she whispered. “He got a good eyeful, then a good feel, but when he pinched me, I slapped him. But I rather liked it.” She sent Millie a sheepish grin, then burst into giggles.

  Millie giggled right along with her, but the beautiful feeling of friendship that their confessions gave her only made her heart ache harder. She stood, running her hand along the top of her trunk.

  “All the same,” she said, face pinching as her thoughts assailed her, “Owen seemed so angry with me. He…he wants to talk to me, and, judging from how fierce he looked when we met on the stairs earlier, what he wants to say can’t be good.”

  “You don’t know that.” Ginny stood as well. “And if Owen is angry, I’m sure it’s with Lord William. Any man who offers a woman money for—” She seemed to realize what she was saying and who she was saying it to and stopped abruptly. “Oh, Millie. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s all right.” Millie shook her head. “Some of them aren’t bad. Some of them are,” she added in an ominous tone. “But I’d rather go back to having a say in which gentlemen I entertain than being forced into the bed of someone I hate out of desperation.” She paused, watching Ginny absorb those words, then went on with, “That’s why I’ve decided to go back to Haskell, back to Bonnie’s Place.”

  “But you can’t do that,” Ginny insisted. “Not when you’ve started a new life here. If it were me, I would never want to go back to doing that again.”

  “I don’t want to,” Millie went on soberly, “but I don’t see how I have much choice. Once Owen rejects me, everyone will know why. Lord Dunsford was kind beyond kindness to take me in, but not even he would be willing to keep me on once the truth gets out. And rumors have a way of spreading. I won’t be able to get a position in another house in Cornwall, that’s for sure. I only know how to do one thing besides being a maid, and if I’m going to have to do that for the rest of my life, I’d rather do it at Bonnie’s Place, where I have friends and people who know me, than on the streets of some foreign city in a country that I barely know the shape of.”

  “But it won’t be like that,” Ginny insisted. “Owen is not the sort to abandon a woman in her hour of need. And above all else, I know that he loves you. I know it.” She stomped her foot.

  “You’re such a good friend, Ginny.” Millie threw her arms around her in a hug. “This would all be so much worse without you. I’ll miss you so much when I’m gone.”

  “You’re not going anywhere,” Ginny said, her voice ragged with tears. “I won’t let you.”

  “I have to.” Millie’s eyes stung. She didn’t think it was possible to cry so much in one day. She couldn’t imagine herself ever having dry eyes again, though. She would be leaving so much behind when she went back to Haskell. It was like part of her would always be in Cornwall, but part would always be in Haskell. She didn’t see how she would ever be whole again.

  She let Ginny go and forced herself to take a deep breath. “I’ve earned enough wages to take a train to London,” she said, “but I don’t have enough for my passage back to America. Do you think Mrs. Wilson or Mr. Snyder would give me something for my passage?”

  “No, they would not.”

  The answer came from the doorway. Mrs. Wilson stood there, her fists on her hips, a stern look in her eyes. Millie shuddered at the sight of her, feeling as small as a naughty child. Ginny yelped and leapt to the side, bobbing a curtsy.

  Before either of them could speak, Mrs. Wilson said, “Millie, Lord Dunsford has asked to see you in his study.”

  “Lord Dunsford?” Millie swallowed, feeling sick. He couldn’t have found out everything that had happened already, could he?

  “Yes, and if you know what’s good for you, you’ll hurry down there at once.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Millie curtsied, a sense of dread filling her. This was it. This was the moment she’d dreaded. She headed f
or the door and out into the hall, knowing everything was about to come to a crashing end.

  CHAPTER 10

  By the time Millie reached the hallway that led to Lord Dunsford’s study, her stomach was in knots and her nerves were so frazzled that she was shaking. Worse still, as she reached the door, she heard voices coming from the other side. Male voices. Lord William’s voice and Owen’s voice. No wonder Mrs. Wilson had looked so stern. The whole story of Millie’s past and everything that had happened in the last few days had already come out, she was certain. Her life had been destroyed, and she hadn’t been there to defend herself.

  She took a deep breath, pressing her hand to her stomach to settle the raging butterflies there. The moment had come, and to what extent she could, she would defend herself. She turned the handle and threw open the door.

  Instantly, she regretted her decision to boldly enter without knocking. Four sets of male eyes turned to her. Lord Dunsford stood by the room’s grand fireplace. He still wore his traveling clothes, but his silver-white hair was well-groomed, and his eyes held a certain brightness that they hadn’t the first time Millie met him. But he was the only figure in the room who could have put her at ease. Mr. Snyder stood to one side, looking outraged at her interruption. Lord William’s face was pinched in extreme distaste, although Millie couldn’t tell if that was directed at her or something else.

  But most distressing of all, Owen stood close to Lord Dunsford, turned to him in such a way that it was clear he had been petitioning his lordship about something. And he wore a frown that said whatever that thing was, it wasn’t happy. Millie’s heart burned in her chest at the sight of him. If she hadn’t cried herself out earlier, she would have wept now. She was certain that Owen had gone to Lord Dunsford to ask that he get rid of her.

  And yet, in the back of her mind, Ginny’s voice spoke up, saying, “Don’t be ridiculous, Millie. Owen loves you.”

  That tiny moment of hope crashed, though, when Lord Dunsford said, “Ah. Speak of the devil.” He stepped away from the fireplace and toward her. “It seems you’ve been the focus of quite a bit of attention in my absence.”

  A rush of panic hit Millie. Was Lord Dunsford upset? Was he angry that she’d let her secret get out? She couldn’t tell. His expression seemed kind, but how could he not be upset?

  “I’m sorry, my lord,” she said, gripping her apron in her fists in an attempt to hold herself together. Wisdom said she should keep quiet, but her heart was full to bursting, and so burst it did. “I never meant to cause you any trouble. You are a good, kind man, and I truly did want to do my best here in your household.”

  Lord William snorted. “Cheap theatrics.”

  Before he could say more, Lord Dunsford held up on hand. His gaze remained focused on Millie. “Go on.”

  “I know full well that you were offering me a chance of a lifetime by allowing me to come work in your house. It was a great risk for you, and I let you down.” She lowered her head. “I should have known that the sins of my past would follow me, no matter how hard I tried to leave them behind.”

  “My lord,” Mr. Snyder spoke up, taking a half-step toward them. “This is highly irregular. If you will allow me, I’ll—”

  “No, it’s all right,” Lord Dunsford interrupted him in a soft voice.

  Mr. Snyder let out an impatient breath. “But this is highly unseemly. Young Millie should not have to be forced to dredge up her past in a setting like this.” He gestured to Lord William and Owen.

  Millie glanced at him, her brow inching up as well. Was Mr. Snyder defending her?

  She didn’t have time to think any more about it. Lord William snorted again and paced toward one of the windows, as Lord Dunsford said, “It’s obvious that Millie has a lot to say, and I, for one, believe she should be allowed to say it.”

  Millie was so stunned by the show of generosity that she didn’t know where to pick up what she had been saying or how to go on. Deep in her chest, a tiny kernel of hope began to sprout and grow. But even as it did, that hope was tested.

  “My lord, if I could just explain—” Owen started.

  Once again, Lord Dunsford raised his hand for silence. His eyes were fixed on Millie. Instead of intimidating her, the kindness—and the hint of deep sadness—in his expression settled her. “Go on,” he told her.

  Millie took a deep breath. “I’m sorry that all of this has happened.” She started over. “I wanted to be good, to start a new life, but I failed. Who I was, what I was…it’s not suitable for a respectable house like this. I’ve…I’ve hurt people.” She peeked at Owen, only to find him watching her with a look of pain in his eyes. She swallowed the grief it brought her and went on. “I’m so very sorry. I don’t deserve your kindness any longer. I’ve decided that the best thing I could do now is to return home, to Haskell.”

  Owen’s shoulders dropped and his expression was downright tormented. Mr. Snyder frowned. Lord William chuckled. But Lord Dunsford simply nodded and continued to listen to her.

  “I don’t have the money for passage, though.” She lowered her eyes. “I was hoping you would be kind enough to lend it to me. I’ll pay you back when I can.”

  “Well, this is a surprise,” Lord Dunsford said. Millie glanced up at him, perplexed. “The last thing I expected was for you to ask to go back to America. Particularly when Owen here has just asked for my permission to marry you.”

  Millie’s eyes went wide. She was certain she’d heard him wrong. “My lord?” She dragged her glance from Lord Dunsford to Owen, half dreading what she would see there, but half longing to know what had happened.

  Owen stood tall, his expression serious, but there was a warmth and sparkle in his eyes that radiated love. Had it been there before? She wondered if it had and if she simply hadn’t let herself see it. Either way, there was a strength and maturity to Owen that was definitely new.

  “Owen has also asked me if I might have a position open for him at one of the estate’s mines,” Lord Dunsford went on. “I’ve known for some time that he’s been interested in leaving the house to work in the mines, but the timing hasn’t been right. Now, however….”

  “This is ridiculous.” Lord William butted in when Lord Dunsford paused. He marched back to them from where he’d been looking out the window. “Setting a footman up as a mine foreman.” He made a scoffing noise. “You’d do just as well to appoint the scullery maid as chief surveyor.”

  With a look of tested patience, Lord Dunsford said, “I am not proposing to make Owen a foreman. At least not immediately. But Grant Hughes at the Treworlas mine has mentioned before that he could use an assistant. Then, in time, Owen will learn the trade and will be able to take over operations there.” He glanced back to Owen. “If you would find that acceptable.”

  “Of course, my lord.” Owen dipped into a bow. “I would be grateful for the opportunity.”

  Lord Dunsford smiled. “It wouldn’t be much of a living at first. There might be a small cottage available, but if, for example, you intended to take a wife—” He glanced back to Millie with a gentle smile. “—she might have to continue working so that you could make ends meet.”

  “I wouldn’t mind, my lord,” Owen said, unable to keep the joy out of his expression. “That is, if Millie didn’t mind.”

  Millie was so stunned and grateful for the turn events had taken that she could barely speak. She shook her head, blinking back tears of joy—and she thought she didn’t have any more tears left—then managed to squeak out, “I wouldn’t mind at all.”

  “But this is preposterous,” Lord William blurted, throwing out an arm in a frustrated gesture. “You cannot keep a whore as a maid in your house.”

  Millie winced. Mr. Snyder looked offended. Owen looked as though he were considering murdering Lord William with his bare hands. And Lord Dunsford glared at his nephew. “Millie is no more still a whore than I am still an officer in Her Majesty’s Army. My days of wearing a red coat are well behind me, and Millie’s days o
f hardship are behind her. I am satisfied with that.”

  “It’s a disgrace,” Lord William pushed on. He fidgeted, more than a hint of desperation in his jerky movements and restless expression. “Word will get out to all our neighbors. The servants will talk. They’re already talking.”

  “Our neighbors will not bother with who I choose to employ,” Lord Dunsford insisted. “And that’s if they find out. They won’t.” He spoke as if his words were both a reassurance to Millie and a threat to Lord William.

  “My lord,” Mr. Snyder spoke up with a respectful nod. “There are some below stairs who have already begun spreading rumors and sowing discord.”

  Millie pressed a hand to her stomach. She dreaded to think how the people she’d come to call friends would look at her when they knew the truth. Owen, at least, looked ready to fight for her honor.

  “Who are these people?” Lord Dunsford asked.

  Mr. Snyder cleared his throat, looking suddenly torn. He hesitated, then said, “Jane, my lord. She has been engaging in gossip. I am uncertain of her motives, but it seems as though she has also been spotted on numerous occasions speaking with Lord William when she had no need to.” Mr. Snyder sent a brief look in Lord William’s direction, then frowned as if worried he were guilty of gossip himself.

  “I see.” Lord Dunsford glanced to Lord William with a frown. “Do you know what this is about?”

  Frustration and bitterness filled Lord William’s expression. “Don’t blame me. That maid, whatever her name is, wheedled me for information. She wouldn’t leave me alone until she got the truth out of me. She wanted to use it against that one—” He flung an arm out in Millie’s direction. “—over some jealousy involving that one.” He pointed to Owen, then sniffed. “I don’t bother myself with petty love triangles amongst the servants.”

  Lord Dunsford’s frown deepened. “Mr. Snyder. If you would be so kind to bring Jane in.”

  An odd, victorious feeling filled Millie. She wasn’t sure it was right of her to feel so relieved that Jane might get what was coming to her, but she was relieved all the same.