Dev Haskell Box Set 8-14 (Dev Haskell - Private Investigator)

by Mike Faricy

  “You know you can count on me, Dev. When you thinking all of this is going down?”

  “I’m dealing with this nitwit on email. I’m going to try and set it up for sometime tomorrow. That work for you?”

  “I’ll make it work.”

  “Perfect, I knew I could count on you, Luscious.”

  “You just let me know where, Dev, and I’m there.”

  I got back online and sent my response. “Willing to pay $500 over your best offer, but need to send my son tomorrow to pick it up. I can pay cash. Please forward details.”

  My response came through about five minutes later. “Have an offer for $3000. If you can go to $3500 we have a deal. Will forward directions once we hear from you.”

  I waited a half hour then responded. “God bless you, this is just wonderful. My son will have the cash payment, $3500. Must have this to the mortuary by end of day tomorrow. You are in my prayers, Lucille.”

  I got an almost immediate response. “Sold. Glad to be of service. Lucille, my mother would be so happy. Our home is difficult to find, your son can meet me at the Denny’s restaurant on I-94 and Manning drive at 10:00am. Let me know if this is a problem.”

  I forwarded the emails to Andy again and called him.

  “God, the guy almost sounds legit,” Andy said.

  “Yeah, well except for the line about his mother, and then there’s the line about the home being difficult to find. I’m guessing there’ll be at least two people checking my guy out. I know this place, the Denny’s, not a lot of places to hide and cool your heels out that way.”

  “Anything I can do to help you?” Andy asked.

  “Only by staying away. Whoever this is, there’s at least a fifty-fifty shot they’d recognize you or one of your employees. They had to be familiar enough with your operation to get this out of there in the first place. By the way, anything else missing?”

  “No, not a thing. Sort of strange, these three things and then nothing else.”

  “In other words, the moment you learned things were missing you tightened security and probably shut down whatever they had set up, whether you knew it or not.”

  “Yeah, maybe.”

  I didn’t mention the fact that Tommy Flaherty hadn’t shown up almost since the day this caper was discovered. Now, more than ever, I felt like I owed it to Andy to nail whoever was behind this and I had a pretty good idea who that was.

  Chapter Forty-Three

  I phoned Luscious and told him we were on for seven tomorrow morning.

  “You gotta be kidding me, in the morning?”

  “Yeah, Luscious, amazingly there’s a seven in the morning, too.”

  “Man, I’m not at my best that time of day, Dev.’

  “Look, you just be ready to go, I’ll pick you up, by the way, Luscious, I plan on bringing doughnuts.”

  “Now you’re talking, what kind?”

  “What kind do you like?”

  “Chocolate’s my favorite. I’ve always been a big fan of the sugar ones. Course the ones with the jelly inside and them chocolate ones filled with cream is good, too.”

  “Luscious, how ‘bout I bring you some of each, then you’re going to drive that truck to a Denny’s and you can probably get a big breakfast there, if you’re still hungry.”

  “Seven in the morning?”

  “Yep, and with all those doughnuts, so you just be waiting for me, okay.”

  “All right, I guess I’ll be there, Mr. Dev. You can count on me.”

  “I am, Luscious, I am.”

  Next I phoned Detective Dondavitch. Someone else answered her phone and she came on the line a minute or two later.

  “Haskell?”

  “Yeah, Detective you got a minute to talk?”

  “Maybe just, what’s up?”

  “Remember that ATM deal from a while back, you ever get that thing figured out?”

  “No, fact is its growing cold at this stage. Not much to go on other than that security tape with your license plate.”

  “I think I might have something, possibly.” I told her about the missing coffins and how one turned up on craigslist. My suspicions about the other two and then, how Tommy Flaherty had called in sick for the past week.

  “He said the flu, this time of year?”

  “Yeah, with a guy in his early twenties, it strikes me as odd and like I said, the guy has a history.”

  “Spell his last name for me?”

  As I did, I could hear her clicking on a keyboard. “Here he is,” she said a moment later. “Not exactly what you’d call successful. He certainly would be a candidate, and you think he stole coffins?” she said and half laughed. “What in the world did he think he could do with those?”

  “I guess sell them. There seem to be more and more coincidences with this guy, and I’ve learned over the years never to trust a coincidence. Once I heard about the flu bug that really sort of put the spotlight on him. The coffins, possible access to a hearse, he’s suddenly missing work for almost a week. Anyway, we’re going to pay cash theoretically tomorrow morning, I’ll be meeting the person at a Denny’s out on I-94 instead of their home. You interested?”

  “It’s more than we’ve got now. Let me make some calls, that’s two jurisdictions over.”

  “I’ll forward all my emails to you, read through them and make your own decision, but I’m thinking we can nail this guy and there’s an outside chance we’ll get that ATM heist as the icing on the cake.”

  I pulled in front of Luscious’ building a little before seven the following morning. Luscious was nowhere in sight, but I was a few minutes early and didn’t panic. His building was a five-story brick affair that reminded me of a high school homecoming queen twenty years on who had stopped caring about her appearance, shabby around the edges, but a hint of what had once been.

  The double door entry had the name Graceland painted in an arc of gold script letters with black shadows, then the address 391 nestled beneath it. The building predated Elvis arriving on the scene by fifty years and you had to wonder if it was coincidence or was the name changed as a tribute. Either way, it was more than a little ironic that the likes of Luscious Dixon lived in a building with the name of Graceland.

  At ten minutes after seven, I climbed out of my car and rang the buzzer next to the name L. Dixon. I rang it off and on for the next three minutes. Finally a grumpy sounding voice barked, “This better be worth it.”

  “Luscious, it’s Dev, come on you’re late.”

  “Do I have to?” He whined like a six year old.

  “Yes, you have to, come on, you promised me and I got a lot riding on this. Besides, I got all these doughnuts down here just waiting for you.”

  “Doughnuts?” he said sounding a lot more awake.

  “Yeah, and lots of them.”

  “What kind?”

  “Let’s see, some chocolate ones, a bunch of sugar-coated doughnuts, chocolate with cream filling, and the ones filled with jelly. You don’t want them, I guess I could give them away to these guys coming down the street.”

  “Don’t you do that. I’ll be down there in just one minute.”

  It was more like five minutes, but he was there. I could feel the vibrations as he thundered down the stairs from three flights up and then he was suddenly standing at the door.

  “Where those doughnuts you promised?” he growled when he saw me standing on the front steps empty handed.

  “Come on, I’ve got a whole box of them for you in the car.”

  Luscious opened the passenger door and pushed the seat back as far as it would go before he gingerly climbed in. My car creaked and groaned as it leaned to the right at about a forty-five degree angle.

  “You know, Luscious, if you don’t mind, it might be more comfortable for you in the back seat and besides, that’s where the doughnuts are.”

  He moved pretty fast for a big man and he looked a hell of a lot happier stretched out across the back seat. The white box from the bakery had a re
d plastic band wrapped around two corners to keep it closed. Luscious set the box on his lap, pulled the band off and then slowly opened the top of the box as if it contained some sort of treasure. He took a deep breath once he lifted the lid and his eyes opened wide as he gazed on three rows of assorted doughnuts. There was an even dozen of the things, at about two thousand calories each, a virtual cardiac train wreck just waiting to happen.

  “Which one of these you want, Dev?” he asked as I pulled away from the curb.

  “I already had breakfast, Luscious you just help yourself. Have ‘em all if you feel like it.”

  “Mmm-mmm, which lucky one gets to go first?” he said then took a massive chomp out of one of the chocolate cream doughnuts, closed his eyes and smiled.

  We were at the truck rental place over on University maybe ten minutes later. It took a couple of minutes to talk Luscious into leaving the doughnut box in the back seat and just choosing one doughnut to bring into the office.

  “You lock this car up good and tight, Mr. Dev. I don’t want some worthless bastard running off with these.”

  “It’s locked, Luscious. They’ll be safe. You can keep an eye on them from out of the window of the office.”

  We walked in the door, past aisles of rental equipment to a counter in the back of the place. Two guys were sitting behind the counter next to cash registers talking about fishing. They each had a steaming mug of coffee sitting in front of them. They seemed to size up Luscious as he wolfed down a jelly-filled sugar doughnut and then gave me the nod.

  “What can we do for you?” the older of the two asked.

  “Need to rent a pickup for the day.”

  “Not a problem,” he said and clicked a couple of keys on a laptop then turned the thing toward me. “Just fill out that form, I’ll need your license and insurance number. Thirty-five dollars a day, one hundred miles at no charge. After that she’s thirty cents a mile.”

  “Not a problem.” I turned toward Luscious, licking his fingers in an effort to capture the last bit of jelly and sugar. I angled the laptop toward him and said, “Luscious, you mind filling this form out for them?”

  Luscious took his time licking his fingers then said, “I ain’t got no driver’s license, Dev, it’s been suspected.”

  “Suspected? You mean suspended?”

  “Yeah, that’s the one.”

  The two guys behind the counter didn’t even blink.

  “I’ll fill this out,” I said and spun the computer back toward me trying to make the best of a bad situation.

  When I was finished, the guy spun the laptop back around, scanned my driver’s license, clicked a couple of keys then said, “You want our rider insurance? Forty-five bucks, don’t mind me saying it might not be a bad idea.” He glanced quickly off to the side indicating Luscious who was staring out the window and keeping a watchful eye on my car with his box of doughnuts in the back seat.

  “Yeah, I suppose I better. Thanks.”

  Chapter Forty-Four

  On the way over to the back lot to get the pickup I handed Luscious my car keys and said, “I’m going to pull around to the front. Then I want you to follow me in my car. We’re just going around the block and we’ll switch so you’re driving the pickup. You’ll follow me out to the Denny’s restaurant and go inside. They’ll be looking for you, maybe you can grab some breakfast, maybe you can’t, we’ll just see. Now don’t worry, I’ll be watching you, but you won’t be able to see me.”

  “Cool.”

  “Yeah, and one more thing. I got this envelope of cash for you. You can show it to them if they ask, but don’t give it to them. Got it?” Then I handed a thick manila envelope stuffed with tens and twenties over to him.

  Luscious nodded and stuffed the envelope into his front pocket.

  “They’re gonna take you to get the coffin.…”

  “Say what?”

  “The coffin, you know, like for a funeral. Now….”

  “That’s what I thought you said, Dev. I don’t know, man, this is starting to sound like some sort of bad luck shit.”

  “It’s what we’re buying, it’s not like they’re gonna ask you to climb in the thing and test it out, besides, you wouldn’t fit. You just follow them, do what they say, but do not give them that money, got it? Because they’ll run with it, and if they take that money, then you won’t get paid by me. I’ll be following you. So even if you don’t see me, I’m there.”

  “You’re buying a damn coffin?”

  “If you’ll remember, I already bought a big box of doughnuts, and they’re sitting in my car right now, just waiting for you. You can put them with you in the truck when we go around the block here, or if the coffin really bothers you, I’ll ask one of those two guys in there to help me and they’ll eat all the doughnuts, your choice, Luscious.”

  He seemed to weigh his options for a moment then nodded and said, “Okay.”

  “Good, now follow me around the block. Once we’re out of sight of this place we’ll switch vehicles.”

  I pulled the rented pickup out of the back lot and around to the front where Luscious sat waiting behind the wheel of my car eating another doughnut. The two guys from the rental office had gotten off their stools behind the counter and were watching us through the front window while they sipped coffee from their mugs. We drove around the block without incident. I didn’t have the courage to ask Luscious why his driver’s license had been suspended or for how long. We switched vehicles and Luscious carefully placed the doughnut box on the passenger seat next to him.

  “Now just remember, Luscious. You hang onto that envelope with the cash until they take you to wherever that coffin is. They ask you anything you just say you’re doing this for your mother, her name’s Lucille.”

  Luscious looked at me strangely and said, “Her name is Delice.”

  “Yeah, but we’re going to trick them so you just pretend for today that it’s Lucille, got it? And remember, you can show them, but don’t give them that envelope.”

  “Till I see that coffin, I got that part, Dev. I got it good.”

  “Then let’s be off, Luscious. You’ll have those doughnuts in the truck to tide you over until you get to Denny’s and can order breakfast,” I said and then we headed east on I-94 and out toward Denny’s.

  Rush hour was winding down, which meant everyone on the road was able to do about sixty or sixty-five with no real problem. That is, everyone except Luscious and me. I tried to speed up to the rate traffic was moving, but Luscious, following behind me, kept the pickup at about forty-five miles per hour. He just oozed down the far right lane all the way out to Denny’s. He was traveling so slow that he screwed up folks trying to merge onto the interstate as well as all those trying to exit off. I lost count of the number of horn blasts he got as folks shot past and gave him the finger.

  We made it to Denny’s with just a couple minutes to spare. I figured that would just make Luscious look like he was responsible, then again, appearances can be deceiving. I slowed slightly as I approached Denny’s then waved my arm in the direction of the restaurant hoping Luscious took his attention off whatever doughnut he was eating just long enough to make the turn.

  He slowed and pulled into the parking lot, not putting his blinker on until after he’d already made the turn. I traveled maybe a half mile further down the road to a Holiday Station, drove through the line of pumps, back out onto the road and pulled over onto the shoulder. We were about a five minute drive from the St. Croix River and the Wisconsin border.

  Chapter Forty-Five

  My phone rang about ten minutes later.

  “Haskell, Dondavitch here. This guy you’re working with, would he easily be the largest guy in this place? Oh, say by maybe close to four hundred pounds? He just had a couple of plates of scrambled eggs set down in front of him and he was eating doughnuts from a box while he was waiting.”

  “That’s my man, Luscious.”

  “Luscious? Why would anyone ever call him that?” />
  “No, that’s really his name, he was in the NFL.” I didn’t feel the need for any more detail. “Is there anyone with him?”

  “No, but then again, maybe he ate them.”

  “Shit, they’re late,” I said and worried they might have caught on and wouldn’t show.

  “I’m thinking they might just be playing it safe and they’re maybe watching from somewhere for some kind of set up.”

  “Anyone look like they might fit the bill?” I asked.

  “More than a couple of folks, which probably means they aren’t the ones. Where are you? Please don’t tell me you’re hiding in the men’s room.”

  “No, I’m down about a half mile, sitting on the shoulder of the road across from the Holiday Station.”

  “Do me a favor, get off the shoulder and pull into the lot, park in front of the place. Anything happens here I’ll call you.”

  That sounded a lot better than sitting out on the shoulder. I pulled into the lot, then backed into a spot that was furthest from the door and waited. My phone rang about five minutes later, I answered on the first ring.

  “Haskell, I think we got something. Someone just came over and she’s talking to him.”

  “She?”

  “Yeah, looks like she might be your type, could be considered nice looking if you like ‘em slutty.” I heard a couple of laughs in the background.

  “You with someone?”

  “Another lady, we’re just a couple of moms stealing a morning coffee break. Okay, she just sat down in the booth with him.”

  I had a hunch. “Has she got a pretty nice figure, light blonde hair?”

  “Yeah, but that probably describes half the women in here, including the one across the table from me. You give this guy something in a manila envelope? He’s showing it to her, opening it up, cash I’m guessing?”