Dev Haskell Box Set 8-14 (Dev Haskell - Private Investigator)

by Mike Faricy

  She listened for a few moments, occasionally interjecting a one word response. “Yes. No. Yes. Possibly….” Eventually she said, “No, Dad I need to be there. I’ll book a flight and be down in the morning. No, don’t be silly it’s not a problem. I need to be there. Yes, Midtown? On Peachtree? No, I’ll grab a cab. No, now not another word. I’ll see you in the morning, love you. Yes. Okay, bye, bye.”

  “Everything okay?” I said stupidly.

  “Not really, that was my dad. Apparently my mom was in a bike accident and broke her hip. She’s okay, they’ve got her in Emory University Hospital, but I need to get down to Atlanta. Dad’s worthless at this sort of thing.”

  I knew for a fact that Maddie’s dad had started with nothing and now ran a number of very successful firms doing business in Georgia, Alabama and Florida and I doubted he was worthless at this or anything else. I also knew enough not to offer that opinion. “Anything I can do to help?”

  She walked over to her desk and turned on the computer then pulled a sexy little black silk robe from the back of her bedroom door and slipped it on. The robe had red piping along the edge and around the button holes, and barely fell to her thigh with slits along the side up to her hip bone. I liked it, a lot.

  “I’m going to have to book a flight for tomorrow. I’ll have to take Morton.”

  “Morton? You’re kidding.” At the sound of his name Morton’s tail kicked into overdrive and he looked back and forth from Maddie to me panting with his tongue hanging out.

  “Well, I can’t very well leave him on his own. He doesn’t like boarding in a kennel, like I said, he thinks he’s a person, not a dog.”

  “Maddie, nothing against Morton, but he’s going to present one more complication you don’t need right now. Not to mention your folks.”

  “They like him, sort of, I think.”

  “I’m sure they do, but when your mom gets out of that hospital you’re going to need to focus on her, and your dad. Morton’s going to be in a strange environment. It’s just not the best idea. What if he jumps on her? Or what if he tries to lick her or something and she falls?”

  “I had him at the Bed and Biscuit for a weekend, but that didn’t work out too well.”

  “Bed and Biscuit?”

  “It’s a place to board your dog, but he somehow got into the same kennel as this high-bred female Collie and well….”

  “What did he do, bite the thing?”

  “Not exactly, I guess she was in heat and he maybe sort of impregnated her.”

  “But that can’t be his fault, he can’t help it, he’s a guy.”

  She rolled her eyes then said, “That argument doesn’t really help. The kennel ended up having to pay damages and sort of nicely told me not to bring Morton back, ever again. I don’t think he does very well in that sort of environment, anyway.”

  “I just think it’s not the best idea, bringing him to your folks right now.”

  “Well, what else can I do?” She was online now, clicking keys, she pulled a billfold out of the purse at her feet and rifled through it to get a credit card.

  “Don’t you know someone? You must have a friend who could take him? You’re only going on a short trip. What? A couple of days, tops?”

  “Only a day or two, problem is just about everyone I can think of already has a dog or a couple of cats and Morton doesn’t really like other dogs and he hates cats. His therapist said he just doesn’t like to share the spotlight.”

  Therapist? “Well, there must be someone you can think of.”

  She was inputting her credit card number and understandably seemed focused on the computer screen at the moment. She clicked a few more keys and suddenly her printer fired up.

  “There’s my boarding pass. Nine o’clock flight tomorrow morning. Hey, I’ve got an idea,” she said and stood up with a devilish grin on her face. As she turned to face me she undid the little silk robe and pulled it back placing her hands on her hips, completely exposing herself in the process. She was trimmed in the shape of a martini glass with a tattoo of what looked like Morton’s head peeking out of the glass.

  I felt my pulse ratchet up, but I think it was from the wave of panic spreading over me, “Oh no, no, that would be a bad idea. A really bad idea.”

  “What?” She said and slowly strutted around the end of the bed toward me with her hands still on her hips. She moved her shoulders from side to side with every step and my eyes began tracking her breasts as they bounced and swayed back and forth.

  “I, I can’t take him. I wouldn’t know what to do. I don’t know the first thing about taking care of a dog.”

  “He really likes you. Y’all are kind of alike in some ways, you know, immature, irresponsible, sort of lazy and in need of training and an awful lot of direction. Both of you tend to be bad boys,” she said and then slipped the silk robe off her shoulders letting it fall to her waist.

  “Maddie, this isn’t fair.”

  “What? Is it my fault I suddenly can’t seem to help myself? Can’t seem to get enough of you?” she said and licked her lips suggestively. “You just seem to have that effect on me, Dev. God only knows what I’m liable to do. You know how I get when I really, really want something. I’m liable to do anything, absolutely anything.” Her eyes suddenly seemed to project heat and she stuck her tongue out ever so slightly and moved it back and forth between her sensuous lips.

  The silk robe suddenly dropped to the floor and she ran a hand down my foot to the ankle then slowly started to walk her fingers up my leg. “Guess - what - I - really - really - want - right - now?”

  “Don’t do this….”

  Chapter Two

  “So, I typed instructions up this morning while you were still asleep. This has everything you’ll need,” she said handing me a multi paged document that was stapled in the upper left corner. The cover sheet just said ‘MORTON’ and the second page was an index. It was a little before seven in the morning and the day already seemed to be headed down the drain. I had just pulled into the entrance to Terminal One at the Minneapolis/St. Paul airport. The taxi behind me leaned on his horn as I merged into the lane marked departures.

  “I typed out his schedule, it’s on page two. It’s pretty simple, he just needs a little walk, twice a day, maybe just an hour or so in the morning and then again in the evening. On page three I’ve got his vet listed, and then a backup just in case. His therapist is over on Marshall Ave., Morton has his regular therapy appointment on Thursday, at two, don’t be late. I better make a note to email you a reminder,” she said typing with her thumbs as she input something on her cellphone.

  “I’ve got his food schedule on page four, the green bag is for the evening, the tan one for the morning. One-and-a-quarter cups for both servings, please no additives or scraps, he’s got a number of allergies. I find he does a lot better if I sit on the floor and have breakfast and dinner with him.”

  “Which dog food is your favorite?”

  She ignored me. “Oh, and do not feed him from the table. It’s bad for him in so many ways. While you were asleep I put his food and water dishes and his favorite chew toys on the floor of the back seat. I taped the prescription bottle with his heart worm pills to his morning food bag, that’s when he gets the pill, every morning. You should grind up his heart worm pill and sprinkle it on his food, he won’t eat the pill if you just put it in his dish. I try and feed him about ten minutes after seven in the morning, I find he does best if you keep him on that schedule. Don’t forget. His blood pressure meds are taped to the evening food bag. Just half a pill, fifteen minutes before he eats, that’s in my notes, too so don’t worry. I put his bed in the trunk of your car. He’ll probably be most comfortable sleeping in your bedroom, it’s good Feng Shui if he’s aligned with the window and the sun. Oh, and his favorite TV show is “The Voice.”

  “TV show?” I said as I pulled in front of the main terminal.

  “Yeah, “The Voice,” you know the reality show with Tom Jones? He rea
lly likes the singers. Hey, I’m flying Delta and I already have my boarding pass. I’ve just got carry-on so you can drop me off anywhere, all I have to do is clear security.”

  I pulled to the curb in front of the next entrance. “You just take care of your mom and don’t worry about Morton, he’ll be fine.”

  She turned round and knelt on the passenger seat then put on a sexy face.

  My first thought was this probably isn’t the best place for more kink, but….

  “Oh, good-bye, Morton,” she said in her high pitched, little-girl Morton voice. “Now you behave and take good care of Dev while I’m gone. I’ll be back just as soon as I can. I’ll call you everyday so we can talk.” Then she wrinkled her nose and let Morton lick her all over her face. She leaned over and gave me a quick peck on the cheek rubbing a heavy dose of Morton drool along the side of my face in the process.

  “Oh, I just know you two are going to have fun. Okay, see you later boys,” she said from out on the sidewalk then she slammed the car door closed and headed into the terminal.

  Chapter Three

  When I edged away from the curb Morton immediately started whining. As I picked up speed he began barking and pacing back and forth looking out the rear window, his wagging tail kept hitting me in the back of my head.

  “Okay, settle down back there, Morton. Settle down.” At the sound of his name the tail began to wag even faster against the back of my head.

  “Morton, damn it,” I shouted and reached behind to shove him over. A horn blast from alongside got me to swerve back into my lane. The guy sped up, gave me the finger as he sailed past and took off down the road. The remainder of our drive home was uneventful.

  I pulled into my driveway then opened the passenger door and grabbed Morton by the collar. I walked him up to the front door, opened it and let him inside, then walked back to the car and began unloading everything Maddie had packed up. I put Morton’s bed in the kitchen, set the food bags in the pantry, tossed his chew toys on the kitchen floor and filled his water dish. I left the single spaced multi page instructions on the kitchen counter, closed the swinging door that led to the dining room and drove down to my office.

  Maddie phoned about an hour later. “How’s it going?”

  “I’m doing fine, still in the recovery mode from our love session last….”

  “I meant, Morton.”

  “Oh, great, not a problem.”

  “Really?” She sounded more than a little surprised.

  “Yeah, he’s just taking it easy,” I said. I didn’t want to let her know he was locked in the kitchen back at my place.

  “Can I talk to him?”

  “What?”

  “Let me talk to him, just put the phone by his ear. We do it all the time.”

  “We?”

  “Yeah, Morton and me. Come on, we’re about to board and I’m going to have to turn this off in a few moments.”

  “Okay, hang on,” I said then sat at my desk for a long moment listening.

  “Hi Morton, hi Morton, miss me?” Maddie said in that screwy, high pitched, little girl Morton voice.

  I panted into the phone. Just as I barked the office door opened and my office mate, Louie walked in.

  “What the hell?”

  I put a finger to my lips signaling Louie to be quiet then panted some more.

  “Okay, bye Morton, bye, bye, bye,” Maddie said.

  “Wow, he really seems to know who’s on the phone. He looks really happy,” I said.

  “I knew it. Thanks again, Dev. I really appreciate it.”

  “Not a problem,” I lied. “Hey, best to your folks. I’ll see you whenever you return.”

  “Thanks, I’m stepping onto the plane now so I’m going to ring off. Bye, bye, bye,” she said sounding very happy.

  “What the hell was that? You’re seeing a woman with a dog fetish?”

  “You wouldn’t believe it.”

  “Try me,” Louie said as he tossed his computer case onto his picnic table desk.

  I told him the story about Maddie’s late night phone call, her booking the flight and not having anyone to take care of Morton. I left out the part about her unique, payment in advance plan.

  “I never figured you for being much of a pet sort of guy.”

  “I’m not, but it just seemed like she didn’t have any other options. She was under pressure, and well I just thought it would be the right thing to do and help her out.”

  “Never figured you for the caring, sensitive type, either.”

  Chapter Four

  I worked the rest of the day checking out references listed on a series of job applications for a position at an insurance company. It was boring drudgery, but it paid the bills, at least some of them. Occasionally, I scanned the apartment building across the street with my binoculars hoping the two girls on the third floor might be home early. They weren’t.

  “You give any thought to heading over to The Spot for just one?” Louie asked, it was getting close to five.

  “I could use it, it’s been a long day,” I said, placing the binoculars back on the window sill and turning my computer off.

  Louie looked up from his legal pad. “Oh, you’re set to go right now? Let me just finish this section and I’ll catch up, shouldn’t be more than five or ten minutes.”

  Mike was tending bar and he’d just set my third beer down in front of me. I was drinking an Abel, a new micro-brewery in town when Louie finally showed up. “Sorry about that. Just got a call from a former client, his third DUI.”

  “Oh-oh, not good.”

  “Yeah, add to that the assault charge when he took a swing at the arresting officer and he’s going away for awhile.”

  “Why did he call you if he’s a former client?”

  “He wasn’t former when he called, I just fired him ten minutes ago. Guy’s abusive, obnoxious, still under the influence plus he never paid me for the last time I represented him.”

  “Charming.”

  We chatted for awhile, Louie bought a round then I bought a round. My phone rang and I made the mistake of answering without checking the caller id. Some guy behind us was just in the process of loading up the juke box.

  “Hi, Dev, let me talk to Morton.”

  “Hey, Maddie, how are things going?”

  “Where are you?”

  “Me? Oh, I’m just out running a quick errand. I wanted to pick up some of these rawhide chews for Morton, thought he might like them.” Bob Seger fired up on the jukebox behind me. Mike was clearing away our empty glasses.

  Louie looked at me and shook his head in disgust.

  “Sounds like you’re in a bar.”

  “No, just some kids driving by playing the radio too loud,” I said slipping off my stool and heading out the side door.

  “You’re not leaving him alone are you? He needs his walk for starters, and then social interaction.”

  “We already went for his walk,” I lied. “Really fun, and I’m just heading back home, should be there in about fifteen minutes.”

  “Okay, I’ll call back, then,” she said and hung up.

  I went back inside, threw some cash on the bar for a tip then said, “I gotta run, man. I forgot all about this dog sitting gig. And she’s going to be calling back in fifteen minutes.”

  Louie snorted and said, “Sounds like you’re the one on the leash.”

  I was busy cleaning up the kitchen when Maddie called back. Morton had peed on the floor, more than once. He’d gotten into the pantry, dragged both dog food bags out and scattered the contents all over the kitchen floor. He’d chewed up one of the legs on a kitchen stool and pulled a loaf of bread off the kitchen counter and ate the entire thing.

  Maddie called while I was down on my hands and knees attempting to separate the two different types of dog food spread all over the kitchen floor. Morton’s tail started wagging as soon as my phone rang.

  “Put him on,” she said.

  I thought about putting him on a pla
ne down to Atlanta, but then held the phone up to Morton’s ear. His tail wagged back and forth, and he barked a couple of times. I could hear her saying dopey things in that ridiculous voice she used with him. After a couple of minutes I put the phone back up to my ear as she continued. “Did you have a fun day, Morton? Are you on a little vacation?”

  “There you go,” I said trying not to sound too pissed off.

  “Sorry if I was crabby before, I figured you were probably out in some sleazy bar. Does he like the rawhide chew?”

  “I didn’t want to give him one until after you called, you know, so he wouldn’t be interrupted.”

  “Oh, that’s so sweet.”

  “Yeah, that’s me. How are your folks doing?”

  “Pretty good, hopefully Mom will be discharged in a day or two. I’ll hang on for about twenty-four hours to get them sorted after that and then I should be able to come back home.”

  I looked around at my destroyed kitchen. Great, just two or three more days of coming home to this. “Okay, no rush, just keep us posted.”

  “Thanks, Dev. I know he’s in good hands.”

  Yeah, I thought and those hands are about to be wrapped around his neck. “Talk to you later, Maddie.”

  “Okay, bye, bye, bye,” she said and hung up sounding a lot happier.

  I looked around at the mess. If I was honest it was at least partially my fault, I mean Maddie had the poor guy seeing a therapist for God’s sake and I’d completely forgotten about him. He stood opposite me, staring and no doubt conjuring up his next stunt. I had a better idea.

  “Come on, Morton, let’s go for a walk.”

  Chapter Five

  I grabbed his leash and tried to get him to calm down so I could click the thing onto his collar. He kept jumping around and his tail was banging like a base drum against the kitchen cabinets. I finally got him hooked up then crunched through all the dog food scattered across the kitchen floor as we headed out the door.

  We walked about four blocks over to Summit Ave. It’s one of the city’s attractions and I think it’s billed as the longest elegant Victorian street in the country, or maybe St. Paul just made that up for tourist purposes. Either way, it’s a nice walk with wide sidewalks, elegant homes, lots of walkers, a fair amount of joggers and plenty of pretty girls to look at.