Bad Behavior (The Last Time Traveler Book 3)

by Aaron J. Ethridge

  “What's the big deal?” Morgan laughed. “We just have Doc patch him up before he dies.”

  “There are two problems with that. First, Doc is too big to just use a holo-emitter to look humanoid. They would think he was a giant. Second, Sir Galfin ended up stabbed in the throat. It wasn't pretty, and if Doc saved him from that, they would probably think he was a wizard and possibly decide to burn him at the stake. All things considered, we can't risk it.

  “What we have to do is start the duel with Galfin ourselves and then make sure not to kill him.”

  “How do we do that?” Cleo asked gazing at Robert with a single raised eyebrow.

  “Well, now,” he replied, his eyes refusing to make contact with hers, “I've thought a lot about that – and, I mean a lot – and it seems to me that the easiest, safest, and most direct way to do it would be for... one of us guys... to kind of... kiss Maria before Sir Tinnam does.”

  “Which of you guys?” Cleo almost snapped.

  “Not Vox,” the traveler asserted.

  “You're right about that,” Celeste assured him.

  “He's really too big and...”

  “Not Morgan,” Azure asserted.

  “I have to admit,” Robert said, once again clearing his throat, “that Morgan's sword fighting...”

  “You mean you plan to do it?!” Cleo almost screamed.

  “Cleo, love...” he began.

  “You do mean you!”

  “It's not like I want to,” he said, raising his hands.

  “Right,” she said, tilting her head and glaring at him with knitted brows.

  “Honestly, dear...”

  “What does this girl look like?!” she almost snarled.

  “She's – I should be kind – she's very plain.”

  “Plain?”

  “Very.”

  “Do you have a picture of her?”

  “Well...”

  “Rob, you obviously have a picture of her,” Cleo asserted, doing her best to control her agitation. “Otherwise, how would you know what she looked like?”

  “I just assumed...”

  “Just show us the picture!” the green maiden demanded.

  With a sigh, the traveler pushed a few more buttons on the table; bringing up the photograph of an extremely attractive young woman in what appeared to be medieval garb, standing at the side of Sir Galfin.

  “That's her?!” Cleo snapped.

  “Compared to the two – or I should say; the three – of you,” he instantly replied, “she's clearly a dog. Wouldn’t you say so, Morgan?”

  “Absolu…” the young man began. “Oh, wait. Complete honesty. No. I mean, Azure and Cleo are the finest women in the universe – and I’m only excluding you because you’re married, Celeste...”

  “I appreciate that,” Vox interjected with a smile, “but, Celeste is the most beautiful creature that ever lived. Although, I readily admit that the girls are a close second.”

  “Even so,” Morgan continued, “there ain’t no way you can describe that girl as a dog. Even if she were standing right between…”

  “You know what, Morgan,” Azure interrupted, “I’m not sure that I’m completely comfortable with this level of honesty.”

  “You thought I was being honest?” he replied with a forced laugh. “I was just teasing you! I mean; the girl’s a bow-wow, an obvious saint Bernard compared to any of you girls.”

  “I know that shouldn’t make me feel better, but…” Azure began.

  “I think we’re getting off topic,” Robert pointed out.

  “It doesn’t matter, Rob,” Cleo said, her voice slightly edged. “That girl’s not going to kiss you. You’re shorter than she is.”

  “I'm taller than he is,” Azure said with a thoughtful expression on her face, “and, I’d kiss him.”

  “What?!” both Cleo and Morgan exclaimed.

  “I mean; if circumstances were very different,” Azure explained. “And, clearly, I only mean on a physical level.”

  “What do you mean by that?” Robert asked, gazing at her with a hint of a scowl.

  “Obviously,” she replied, refusing to look at him. “I wouldn’t want to kiss a man who‘d leap at the chance to kiss some girl who wasn’t his fiancée.”

  “Neither would I,” Cleo interjected.

  “Even though,” the blue maiden continued, “I’m sure I’d find it extremely pleasurable if I did.”

  “What?!” both Cleo and Morgan exclaimed again.

  “I mean,” Azure explained, turning her eyes to Cleo, “if you’ve been completely honest about his abilities.”

  “I have been” the green maiden nodded, “but, come to that; you claim that Morgan is an epic kisser.”

  “What?!” Morgan exclaimed alone, a wide smile on his face.

  “He is,” Azure assured her.

  “Well then,” the green maiden continued, “I’m sure that, on a purely physical level, I’d enjoy kissing him.”

  “What?!” Robert exclaimed this time.

  “I’m just being honest,” Cleo asserted, refusing to make eye contact with her fiancé.

  “I knew honesty was only going to lead us into trouble,” the traveler observed.

  “I wouldn’t say that, Robert,” Doc said. “For instance; I feel certain that complete and total honesty can get you out of this current situation.”

  “How?”

  “Tell Cleo exactly why you want to kiss this girl.”

  “I don’t!” the traveler assured him.

  “Alright, then,” Doc chuckled, “tell her exactly why you intend to.”

  “Because I honestly think it’s the easiest way to get Sir Galfin into a duel,” Robert explained. “I may not even have to kiss her. I certainly hope I don’t but…”

  “Right!” Cleo cried for a second time.

  “Well, dear,” Doc said, turning his eyes to the green maiden, “you have the choice to believe him or not. Has he ever given you cause to doubt his loyalty to you?”

  Cleo sat in sullen silence for several seconds.

  “I’ve known Rob, for a long time,” Doc said. “For close to a lifetime, in fact. Other than harmless flirtation, you're the only woman I’ve ever seen him show even the slightest interest in. And, to you, he’s displayed what I consider to be absolute devotion. At least, to the extent that he's capable of showing it.”

  “I suppose I see your point,” Cleo admitted, “but, I still don't like it.”

  “It's just one maybe-kiss,” Azure smiled. “That's hardly anything to get worked up over.”

  “You honestly feel that way?” Cleo asked with a smile of her own.

  “I do,” the blue maiden nodded.

  “Good. Then, Morgan can do it.”

  “He doesn't know how to sword fight,” Azure pointed out.

  “Yes, I do,” Morgan replied.

  This caused Azure to glare at him.

  “Not that I'm volunteering!” he instantly clarified.

  “He may know but, he doesn't know,” Azure asserted.

  “Rob can teach him,” Cleo assured her with a double edged grin. “After all, it's just one maybe-kiss.”

  “I suppose that's true,” Azure replied, clearly not completely satisfied with the words coming out of her own mouth, but not sure how to talk her way out of it, since she’d just said that it was nothing for Cleo to get worked up over.

  Less than an hour later, Robert and Morgan were down at the dojo, all stretched out and each holding a sword. The two worked through some footwork together before going through several practice forms. This done, they were ready to start sparring. Doc had joined them, prepared to drag either of them back from the brink of the grave if need be. (Admittedly, the chances of this were rather slim as they were using practice swords. Still, Doc didn't see any reason to take chances.)

  The traveler assured Morgan that he would start off slow. He then fell on the young man, lashing out at him with a speed that almost exceeded thought. Morgan could see everyt
hing Robert was doing, and he knew how to counter each and every attack flawlessly. Not to mention understanding how to counter-attack with devastating results. The problem was that his limbs seemed to move in slow motion, as he did his best to block Robert's blade and strike with his own.

  He tried to use the strength – and height – advantage he had to beat down his opponent's guard but, more often the not, his sword simply swung through the empty space that Robert had been occupying moments before. Even when he managed to make contact with the traveler's blade, his blows were effortlessly deflected to one side or the other. In mere minutes, Robert had defeated and disarmed him countless times.

  “I thought you were going to start out slow,” Morgan said between panted breaths.

  “I did,” Robert replied, with slightly more controlled breathing.

  “Yeah,” the young man chuckled. “Right.”

  “Alright,” the traveler nodded. “I'll show you.”

  Instantly, Robert renewed his attacks, this time moving more quickly than Morgan could even think. In fact, his opponent seemed to have at least two swords, or possibly three. There was no way Morgan's brain could even process all the attacks that were flying at him, much less stop them. He felt as if he were fighting a demon. A demon of speed and mockery. Part of the reason for that was that Robert kept laughing in spite of his best attempts.

  “It's not funny,” Morgan observed.

  “It is a little,” Doc pointed out.

  “I stink at this.”

  “No, you don't,” Robert assured him. “You clearly know what you're doing.”

  “I feel like I'm moving in slow motion.”

  “You kind of are. That's why we're practicing. You've got the strength, you just don't have the speed yet.”

  “You move faster than I can think,” Morgan asserted.

  “No, I don't,” Robert said, shaking his head. “I'm just several moves ahead.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean that I know what attacks I'm going to make. I also know that you know what the best defense is against each one. So, I already know what you're going to do to block my attacks before I make them. I also know how fast you move. As a result, I can make a series of attacks that will always result in me having an opening to stab you in the throat if I want to. Do you see what I'm saying?”

  “I think so,” Morgan replied, rocking his head from side to side.

  “Try it yourself,” Robert said with a smile. “Work out a series of attacks that result in you getting an opening, no matter what I do.”

  For close to thirty seconds, Morgan stood in thoughtful silence.

  “I can't,” he said at last.

  “Why not?”

  “You're too fast,” the young man explained. “There's no way I can hit you.”

  “At your current skill level, I agree,” the traveler nodded. “You realizing that proves that you know what you're doing. I'm going to slow down a bit. Let's see what you can do with that.”

  After several attempts, Morgan managed to get Robert to slightly overreach himself in a lunge. The young man struck the traveler's blade with enough force to knock it out of his hand, across the room, and into the wall.

  “That was good, Bro,” Robert nodded, grabbing his wrist, “but, keep in mind that you're not trying to break my arm. We're just practicing.”

  “Sorry about that.”

  “It's fine,” the traveler replied, stepping over to take up his weapon. “Just be careful.”

  “You know,” Morgan said, shaking his head, “this plan stinks.”

  “I don't think so,” Doc disagreed. “Kissing Miss Galfin seems like an excellent way to redirect the duel and ensure that it ends without anyone getting hurt.”

  “I don't mean I think it won't work,” Morgan clarified. “I mean that Azure's still upset with me for not standing up to Rob and...”

  “What do you mean?” Robert interjected.

  “I always seem to go along with whatever stupid plan you come up with,” the young man explained.

  “My plans aren't stupid.”

  “How about your let's be late for dinner plan?”

  “That wasn't a plan.”

  “I'll rephrase my statement,” Morgan ceded. “Azure's still upset at me for going along with whatever stupid thing Rob is doing at the moment without even trying to stop him. You'll agree that being late to dinner was stupid, I suppose?”

  “Undoubtedly.”

  “Right,” the young man nodded. “So, I've changed my mind. I'm not kissing that girl. You're going to have to do it.”

  “Oh, no!” the traveler instantly replied. “I'm on thin enough ice for having come up with the plan in the first place. I'm not about to try to execute it.”

  “Well, neither am I,” Morgan replied. “And, I'm going to tell Azure that right now.”

  “No, you're not,” Robert asserted, lifting his sword mock-menacingly as he spoke.

  “Funny. But, yes, I am.”

  “You can't, Morgan,” the traveler said before taking a deep breath and slowly letting it out. “Azure's already let you off the hook and...”

  “No, she hasn't,” the young man interrupted, shaking his head. “She's pretended to let me off the hook.”

  “Well, look at it this way,” Robert replied, “if Azure gets mad at you, Cleo will do her best to calm her down, especially since you'll have only done what you've done to stop me from doing it. In fact, you can even explain that to Cleo to make sure she's really in your corner. Azure will be over it in no time. On the other hand, if Cleo gets mad at me again, especially after so short a time, you can be sure she's going to stay mad for a good long while. The longer she's mad, the longer the program stays turned off. Just think about that.”

  “I suppose you're...” Morgan began with a sigh, before stopping mid-sentence. “No wait! You're doing it again!”

  “Doing what?”

  “Taking brain-control over me.”

  “There's no such thing.”

  “I assure you,” the young man said, gazing at him, “there is. At least, in dealing with you, there is.”

  “He's right, Robert,” Doc chuckled.

  “Then, what do you suggest we do, Doc?” Robert asked.

  “First,” he replied, “do your very best to explain to the girls that neither of you want to do it. Then, after a few days' practice, let them decide which of you starts the duel.”

  “As usual,” the traveler replied with a grin, “you're right.”

  “I do my best,” Doc said with a smile of his own.

  For the next three days, the young men spent most of the time they weren't practicing trying to persuade the girls that neither of them wanted to do the deed that needed to be done. Azure seemed basically convinced after a matter of hours. Cleo, on the other hand, seemed absolutely impossible to convince.

  As Robert and Morgan finished their last practice session, the traveler concluded that the young man had gotten as good as he was going to get without months of practice. While they were wrapping things up, Vox strode into the dojo.

  “Rob, man,” he said, his tone clearly revealing the fact that he was displeased, “we’ve got to talk.”

  “Talk away, brother,” the traveler replied, stepping over to take up a nearby hand-towel and dry his face. “We're done anyway.”

  “Celeste is having a hard time with this kids situation,” Vox explained. “Especially since fate has thrown us two jobs in a row where someone has used time travel to go see family members.”

  “I can see that.”

  “She's really upset, Rob,” Vox said, shaking his head. “I mean; she's so upset she's upsetting me. You follow me?”

  “I think I do.”

  “Then you do,” Vox assured him. “It needs to change soon, man.”

  “What do you want me to do?”

  “We need a vacation,” Vox replied. “Like, a real vacation. None of this one-date-every-few-weeks stuff. We should take a couple
of weeks and go do something to take our minds completely off time-travel.”

  “Done, brother,” Robert nodded. “As soon as we finish this job, we'll get on it. So, go through some brochures with Celeste and plan out something nice for us all.”

  “You got it,” Vox smiled. “How long before we're done with this job?”

  “Not long,” the traveler replied. “As soon as the girls decide which of us is going to kiss Miss Maria, we're going to wrap this up. I figure we'll be done by tonight.”

  “That doesn't give us long to plan,” Vox replied. “But, it doesn't give us long to wait, either. Thanks, Bro.”

  “Anytime,” Robert said with a wide smile. “After all, the welfare of my crew is my number one concern.”

  Chapter 7: The Renaissance Festival

  “Obviously,” Robert said, addressing the entire crew who were, at that moment, assembled in the dojo, “Morgan and I would appreciate feedback from any of you. However, the final decision is up to Cleo and Azure. Are you ready, Morgan?”

  “I am,” the young man nodded, falling back into a defensive stance and holding up his blade.

  “Begin,” the traveler said, breaking out his best Inigo Montoya.

  Although Robert did his best not to go too fast and to allow Morgan to show off his newly acquired swordsmanship skills, it was obvious within minutes to all the observers that the young man was no match for the traveler.

  “How good is Sir Galfin, Rob?” Cleo asked as the fencing pair paused for breath. “And, be completely honest with me.”

  “Very,” was Robert's simple reply.

  “Alright, fine!” she said with a bitter tone in her voice, before spinning around to leave the room. “It looks like you get to have it your way!”

  “Oh, no!” the traveler replied. “Stop right there, Officer Zelbizarre.”

  Instantly, the maiden obeyed. Robert approached her, took her by the shoulders, and gently, but firmly, turned her to face him.

  “Now,” he said, taking her by the chin and lifting her head. “Look at me, please.”